Where Life Resides

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Alfred: It’s almost as if the mind is re-setting. All kinds of fragments and associations of the day are discharged and have to pass – like waste material. So that something can empty and begin to open up or lead to some different kind activity in the head brain. [pause]

A very familiar sensation. The body on the couch is also a body but there’s a body floating above it that is horizontal. It’s not the same body as the body on the couch. It’s half in light and half in darkness. Equally. Horizontally. With darkness above it.

Jack: And I think what’s very significant is you’re able to speak about that without disturbing the perception. It takes time and practice to be able to do that.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

There is a clear sense of a need to let go further to allow the body to completely transform. And some trepidation, reluctance in the chest area. It seems to hold back. No, maybe it’s the opposite; maybe something is waking up in the chest.

Now there seems to be a very strong sensation at the top of the head and in the solar plexus as if there’s a kind of communication that’s being established between these two centers.

Jack: Good.

Alfred: It seems as though the floating body is gaining in substance.

A new kind of confidence is not rushing and is letting the process really take whatever time it takes. [pause]

The heaven above reminds me of a very deep blue like before sunset, before it gets completely dark. Very alive. I’m clearly part of that. It feels I belong in that medium. [pause]

There’s no fear. [intonation of surprise or wonder]

There’s a kind of trust in waiting which is a new experience.

Jack: Yes, and it’s good there’s no fear. That’s been a real obstacle before.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

I glimpse occasionally how fear doesn’t belong in an experience like that. But it’s more a lack of skill, a lack of familiarity that is creating the fear. Fear is not from within that experience. It’s quite natural to be open to this kind of influence. [pause]

It’s almost like I’m identifying all the natural organs or apparatuses that are there for the purpose of transitioning to a different body, a different way of being. And a question is really emerging about the aim of that. And with that, in a natural way, it progresses to a more and more sincere question about guidance, about a wish to serve this… to put this state at the service of something that is necessary. So I’m asking for guidance or a guide to…

Jack: …yes, that’s good…

Alfred: …to help, because otherwise it can be lost on some kind of titillation rather than serving something for which it is designated and is necessary.

Jack: I’m reminded of the time you were told by one of the blue beings, “I can’t meet you unless you at least come to here.”

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: It’s very good that you’re asking again right here specifically.

Alfred: It’s very close to exactly what I was feeling. Have I gone as far as I need to? Have I made enough of a journey so that I can honestly and sincerely ask for help? [pause]

There’s a feeling that begins to awaken in the contact with a profound lack. [pause] I’m being shown how the holding in my back, in areas of the body where I wasn’t aware that there were certain tensions and how a kind of grasping are the obstacles that must be let go of. [pause]

Hmm. A light is beginning to come in. It’s like a whole different level of emptiness. It is necessary to receive that. [pause]

It’s interesting that, while I wasn’t considering myself empty enough, a light is being received as if it’s more available and generous than I would have expected. It almost feels like it is searching me more than I am searching for it. [pause]

It’s now that the breathing begins to be important. [pause]

The head vibrates strongly. [long pause]

I saw someone in a crimson gown… a gown, a robe… shimmering… approaching… It’s like a meeting point of three dimensions. Just on that point I see it. At a distance but approximating a point where the three dimensions of the cube meet.

It’s kind of identical to the image of Jesus in Toledo cathedral, except that it looks alive. [pause]

It feels like a very steep kind of way to get to him – those dimensional lines… inside a cube… With him at one corner. [pause]

It’s interesting that my feet seem to be not my feet. They have sandals. Like Biblical sandals. I see the edges of a white robe that I’m wearing – it has a gold margin on it.

Jack: As if as you proceed the vision becomes clearer – you see more.

Alfred: Yes. Something begins to become more concentrated in the experience.

Very different feet. Feet that are calloused and used to walking on rocks.

Jack: Used in a very different way than the current ones.

Alfred: Yes. It’s as if I’m carrying something. [intonation of surprise] I’m really going to focus on the sensation.

Jack: Yes. Just concentrate on the sensation I would say. [pause]

Alfred: The progression towards the Jesus person in the crimson robes – luminous – is very specifically, very precisely downwards, as if I’m descending from a mountain. My feet are very skilled in following some kind of track, a trail that is not very well marked with rocks. It’s desert type of place. I have a very strong impulse to say it’s Mount Sinai, Jebel Musa. I feel a kind of familiarity with that scenery. Almost a kind of coming down with the tablets from the mountain… the mind is kind of…

Jack: Yes, the mind may provide that but you have the sensation of carrying something nevertheless, right?

Alfred: Something is carried and it’s carried very carefully and precisely. Great responsibility to bring it down to that person who expects me at the end of that cube.

Jack: Ah! So there’s still a sense of the cube?

Alfred: Yes. It feels like moving inside a dimension of time. Like the all-quarter-maintainer of that particular quarter of the universe.

The body feels very strong and sure of its footing.

It’s a white robe that wraps my head as well. I sense that.

Jack: Yes, you need those kind of clothes in that environment. [pause]

Alfred: It seems like what I’m carrying is more like a body of someone, something. Feelings begin to come. Feelings of sadness, deep sadness. Someone who I care deeply about may have passed – the one I’m carrying. It could be a younger person, a child; it could be another adult.

Jack: Yes, it may gradually become clear who it is.

And are you carrying it towards this other figure?

Alfred: Yes. I say a Jesus-type figure. I am serving in some way. There is a clear intention. I am bringing it to him for a particular ritual or procedure – something that is essential to provide a safe passage for that spirit.

Failing is not an option. No matter how long the path is. The feet are sure. There’s a certain wisdom or skillfulness in the body that knows exactly what needs to happen. And how I need to bring that body before him.

Jack: Good.

Alfred: There’s a stronger vibration and light as I approach. There is great grief. Perhaps a child. My images go ahead of my words.

Jack: Careful.

Alfred: I’m seeing the images. The child is being laid down on the altar. The child body.

His eyes turn to me… Jesus’ eyes… that holy person’s eyes turn towards me with this compassion, deep compassion. [voice shaking] It pierces my heart. All three are so one. [pause]

There’s a simultaneous complete clarity about the need to let go of that boy and complete confidence that his passage will be assured in some way. All the hopes and all the love that I have for this child have to be let go. [crying]

I’m able to stay with that, thanks to this ongoing look that keeps me right there on that spot. [pause]

The solidity of the body of that child seems lessened… more and more… gradually it vanishes in a natural way. The altar seems to be empty.

I’m given so much and so much is taken at the same time.

It’s letting the heart remain open. [pause]

I see that the memory of that look is almost replacing that look of the Christ, of that sacred individual. As if I still cling to that and as if something is being instructed. It’s available to you only when everything else is lost. And now you don’t need that. It’s like calling it in vain. In vain.

Jack: So that’s a specific instruction.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: Very clear. And reduces in no way the value of what you received.

Alfred: No. Not at all. It even amplifies it. Clarifying when it’s available and when it’s not. What the conditions are under which this benevolence, this benediction is there for me. [pause]

It feels like I’m gradually coming down from that experience in a very particular way. With a… coming up… It’s not clear but… This is like… a shell of this body that needs to be tended to and carried along although it’s not where life resides. This is not what is alive. But it needs to be carried around and… although, in spite of the fact that life, prior to this, has lost its purpose. [intonation of depression] It cannot be about what it was prior to what I just experienced. There’s a reluctance. There’s an agony about the lost contact with the source.

Jack: Do you want to ask for some guidance about that?

Alfred: Yes.

Please. Show yourself to me. I can’t go on. [pause]

I receive help. The pain I took for estrangement is the connection. So clearly. [pause]

What a gift!

Jack: Yes!

Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, In the Situation Room, Dark Blue Stellar Material, A Luminous Source, Where Life Resides.


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A Luminous Source

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Alfred: It helps – what you described in sensing the contact with what is around us. It allows the sensing to expand to include everything – all surfaces.

Jack: Yes, it’s also reminiscent of your sensing the trees in the last session.

Alfred: The kind of process that we are familiar with – the gathering – the parts coming together, joining. It needs its own time. [pause]

Jack: Yes, it’s an allowing so that gathering can take place, but at the same time something inside needs to be very active too.

Alfred: It’s the sensing of the breath as fluid as I mentioned last session. It’s a quality of breathing that feels much more fluid than gaseous. It is consistent with the image of the river.

Jack: And consistent with your very first session where you were breathing a fluid.

Alfred: That’s exactly what I was thinking too.

I think that quality is like being surrounded by liquid, by being immersed in what feels like fluid. It’s a living medium. Almost like a placenta.

From the mind point of view it can be very simple. Once that environment is experienced as sustaining, it becomes sustaining.

Jack: But something is required from you for you to experience that.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: The attention has to be on the exchange that is taking place – on the in-breath and the out-breath. [long pause]

Alfred: There’s a natural relaxation of that need to distinguish in-breath from out-breath. There’s just breath. [pause]

The surface of the body becomes porous and sensitive. Quite naturally. [pause]

Jack: Even though there’s no sense of distinction between in-breath and out-breath there’s still a sense of participation would you say?

Alfred: Yes. The participation is very different. There’s a certain presence to this process that is being concentrated as this process is deepening. The presence, the awareness, the witnessing. [pause]

It’s almost as if the breathing in is of that blue quality. Or that the process of breathing is like taking in something of that sky-blue, dark sky-blue, when it’s almost completely dark – at dusk.

Jack: Right. Yes, there’s a particular quality. [pause]

Alfred: The remaining tensions in the body are more and more clearly places where something is not yet giving up, or surrendering. And it cannot be rushed. It’s not my mind that can make that happen. [pause]

Jack: No.

Alfred: The same kind of expansion of the two bodies. The planetary body is now doing exactly what it’s designed to do which is to sustain life but there is a much wider envelope of sensation that continues to expand. More and more coexistence of those two, interrupted by the physical body clinging to primacy.

Jack: At the same time there’s a connection of some kind – the call of this dark blue stellar material… It seems to always come into the picture at about this point. It’s interesting how that expansion is connected to it. [pause]

Alfred: It introduces this much finer – infinitely finer – materiality which makes all those boundaries and activities quite transparent and where the sense of me is no longer delineated by the physical body. [pause]

It is like all those convictions of where my body is and what it is made of are fading. My usual understanding is almost like a fog that is vanishing in the light of the sun.

But the mind does not let go easily. It still has a grasp on the insistence of knowing something about me but it is very peripheral and is subordinate to this larger expansion. [pause]

It feels like these are the necessary preliminaries to asking for help – to have the feelings begin to bring a sense of direction.

Jack: Yes, you were very active last time in asking for something so…

Alfred: And I feel on the threshold of that but…

Jack: Yes, it has to feel right.

Alfred: … not quite ready, not quite worthy of receiving help…

Jack: You said last time too that the vibration has to be at the right level or there’s no point.

Alfred: Yes. Yes. As long as there’s something else that claims to answer, there’s no point in asking.

Jack: Ah, yes, something else claims…

Alfred: The doppelgänger

Jack: Yes, the pretender to the throne.

Alfred: It’s there and as long as it’s around, there’s no point in really…

Jack: But it’s a matter of focus then – just following that focus. Still, that’s easier said than done.

Alfred: But it’s not by rejecting it; it’s by gradually becoming more sensitive to finer and finer resolutions so that what’s solid in one moment becomes porous in the next.

But it’s also a certain kind of relaxation that becomes very deep in the body. It’s like a trust.

Jack: The body is not abandoned, it’s just set asideallowed to rest.

Alfred: Discovering different tensions in different peripheries that were not apparent before. Part of the mind is also claiming readiness when it’s unclear. [pause]

The abdomen becomes a center of sincerity. [pause]

A change in the light – as if a different type of light becomes available. [pause]

It feels right to ask for help in pursuing this thread of truth which now begins to make itself known. Asking for help to come closer and closer to this truth as it’s being revealed so that I know what is required. [pause]

I’m being shown that what I’m requesting is already here. The intensity of the light is here and I haven’t perceived it.

Jack: But by asking you begin to be able to do so?

Alfred: The asking clears the obstacles on my side of this process. Fear and constriction around the heart.

It’s the kind of suffering that I never understand until I face it… the inability… the density.

Very strong image in the head. Very strong vibration in the head and in the heart. Like a mutual attunement, a tuning. [pause]

Something is opening up in the feeling. Gratitude. [pause]

Feeling guided, feeling that I belong to this process. [pause]

The habit to manipulate is there at all times but tolerated and not acted upon. [pause]

It’s like the barrier, the obstacle, the obstruction between the heart and the mind is very clear. Under the sternum some paths are not clear. But it’s so much clearer how this is the nature of the obstacle here. There is a glimpse – what if the mind and the heart were one? The force that this might give.

So that there’s nothing that is known that is not felt, and there’s nothing that is felt that is not known. [pause]

I can see how in a very ordinary way – I mentioned this last time – it borders on the fear of having a heart attack. A kind of ordinary, physiological constriction that is associated with past trauma. But I can be on the edge of that without being completely blocked by that fear.

Jack: Do you think you need to ask for some help to let it go more completely?

Alfred: It feels like the help is offered from the mind. The mind seems to work its way towards the heart in a way that is not taken by the constriction in the heart. It seems to permeate the pericardium.

It’s such a familiar fear of crossing over there. A fear that there won’t be anything that will be able to claim separateness. There is such a longing for that separateness and such a fear. Just allowing that to be as it is. But staying on both sides of it. [pause]

It’s so interesting what you said earlier about the need to remain active. That is so true at this level too.

Jack: Yes, I think so.

Alfred: In a sense, the attention naturally tends again towards the abdomen. There’s a need for further deepening and nourishment for this process that comes from that source. [pause]

Jack: It takes guts.

Alfred: It’s so clear Jack. There’s a kind of irreconcilable impasse between the vibration of the mind and the emotions. There is a need for a much finer reconciling force.

It’s a voluntary suffering that is needed. Another kind of shedding. [pause]

There’s a regaining of a lost ability of resting in a high vibrational state. A more unifying vibration along the whole system. [pause]

Village on waters with a kind of music playing that is so profound and so pervasive. I receive it from a luminous source.

Very fragile body. Very prone to fragmentation but still the felt experience is of an integrated whole. [pause]

It feels like the separation of head and heart is no longer there. It’s all one. What we ordinarily experience as different concentrations in different centers doesn’t feel that way now. It feels as though all is vibrating uniformly. [pause]

A totally natural breathing that comes from the lower abdomen. It travels through a whole different respiratory system. [pause]

It’s not a respiratory system it’s just a contact with finer materialities. [pause]

Much less trouble with this implace-able sense of self or me. [pause]

Jack: By unplace-able you mean you don’t know where to put it?

Alfred: I mean there’s no location for it. [pause]

And again this kind of emerging need for guidance. But now it is questioned as to its source because it may not be necessary to ask. The guidance is given. It feels more like a projection.

Jack: You’re not feeling a need, I think.

Alfred: Exactly! It’s from a lower realm – projecting something that is elsewhere.

Jack: Perhaps just associative.

Alfred: There’s a certain non-hurried but clear sense that the traces are being laid down of this teaching, of this guidance while at the same time a full witnessing of the diminution of this state is being offered.

Very clear that the physical tensions are appearing and so is the separateness of the mind’s activity. It shows up along the forehead, the solar plexus is tightening. It is showing up but very gradually. It’s like allowing two qualities to still exist.

Exactly like our previous sessions where as the daylight diminishes the starlight is still visible. That kind of a balancing point where both are present, coexisting.

Jack: Maybe that is how we’re really supposed to be.


Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, In the Situation Room, Dark Blue Stellar Material, A Luminous Source.

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Dark Blue Stellar Material

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Jack: I think that we recognize that an entry into this special work – or whatever this session is – an entry into it is possible only because we set aside the ordinary consciousness and look for other connections, allow other connections to form. It’s magical that they do – on their own. We don’t have to strain in order for that to happen. [pause]

Alfred: It becomes gradually more possible to let the associative material drop and not even report about it since it has no importance to this process. What seems to be attracting more of the attention is a penetration of the body by a finer substance.

Jack: Yes, the body is such a help in this transition. [pause]

Alfred: There’s a sense that the body becomes part of this larger circulation. The head is becoming part of this larger circulation. They are not separate. [pause]

With that awareness there’s something much larger, something like a canopy of stars and space – a star field. And a sense of being part of all that. An inseparable part.

The body no longer has its familiar shape. It’s just formless, part of that cosmic space, all those planets. The space is not black; it’s kind of very dark blue. It feels fluid. There’s a sensation around the umbilical area that feels attached to this awareness of the cosmic. It is flowing into a body that I cannot discern by form. As if that particular material, that dark stellar material, is flowing into my body, or whatever I call my body, into whatever it is that I experience as myself. It’s not bounded. [pause]

My ordinary mind is trying to find the boundaries to this experience which is boundary-less. Everything is in motion. [pause]

In fact, the thinking has become so rapid that my words cannot catch up. I mean the mind not the thinking. It is passing so rapidly, I just get tiny glimpses of whatever is happening there in the mind. [pause]

I wish to be instructed or guided as to what my role is and what my responsibility is here in relation to what is necessary. So I can be of service to the forces that are active right now. Please guide me for the benefit of all those who can benefit from this work.

Jack: Yes, it’s so clear that it’s not either you or I who can decide, so this request is very important.

Alfred: Yes.

There’s a light that is breaking at the apex of some dark material. It’s more discernible and requires much more active attention right now.

Jack: Good. Take your time. [pause]

Alfred: It’s like an intensity that is increasing in vibration. At the same time, there’s a kind of benevolent message of encouragement for me to wait and allow the transformation of this body. It is not yet of adequate luminosity or perhaps porousness. I need to allow it to ascend. It’s like a way-station or like a place of waiting where again something is required of me. It’s an interval. It feels like an ascent along some type of steep crystal or mountain that is infinitely high. [pause]

I can clearly sense the attachment to the dense forms – thinking and sensing. Something is responding and alleviating this clenching attachment.

But the body begins to appear more as a shell than as me. [pause]

Strong sensation and warmth in the abdomen that seems to support this perception.

As the intensity of the light increases, it seems so senseless to hold to this lesser form. By itself it drops away. Along more and more something like a vertical line of consciousness.

There is more and more awareness of others who are supporting this flow. I’m joining others who are abandoning lower forms. Finding the true importance of the higher. [pause]

Everything is golden, in a fluid way. Joining a universal breath. There’s almost no more importance to me here. It’s the participation that is all that matters. [pause]

I see the constrictions clearly. I sense them clearer than I ever sensed before – around the heart – fear and trauma. I am prevented by fear from fully allowing this movement of opening.

Jack: Certainly the first step is to see that.

Alfred: It’s as if I’m allowed to come close to those constrictions to really know what they’re about.

Jack: Right.

Alfred: To see that they’re not necessary and they don’t need to scare me. It’s just to come into contact with those layers. Constriction.

Jack: Yes, and there is enormous help present at this moment.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: So you really know that the fear is not needed. [pause]

Alfred: It’s odd to say that but there’s a certain kind of long and almost ancient conviction that I’m making my own light and I’m beating my own heart. This has to let go. As absurd as it is, it’s so real. I need to allow something entirely different and to recognize that the heart and the light are given, every second, every moment. [pause]

It’s so clear that the constriction is not in the quality of the giver. It is something that is alien to it. The giver gives so freely. [pause]

There’s a feeling that this intelligence wishes for me to know very precisely the point of contact between abundance and the constriction.

Jack: Yes, it sounds critical. [pause]

Alfred: It’s not for my own benefit. It feels like others depend on this.

Jack: Ah.

Alfred: This puts it in an entirely different context and allows more space. Because it felt like a stalemate until there was an awareness that’s it’s necessary for many others.

Jack: Yes, many – not just one or two.

Alfred: So it’s not only for me that I’m questioning and praying for some guidance as to how to allow what needs to flow and how what needs to permeate could enter. [pause]

The response is immediate. And the tensions immediately melt. Just for the asking. When it’s not for myself. All those who depend on me. When I haven’t understood what they need or what needs to pass onto them, there is no response.

Jack: Yes, and all the ones whom you don’t know who are dependent on you.

Alfred: Tears come up. And gratitude. Feeling that it’s not too late to understand something about that.

It’s almost like this body has to nurture other bodies. Literally. Food to sustain others.

Jack: Yes, and the heart needs to be open for that. [pause]

Alfred: That abundance of giving – not being in receiving mode – this immediately allays and calms the fear of not having enough. So that the receiving and the giving can be more free. Uninterrupted. One movement. It’s like a tree. Receiving from the top and passing on to the earth.

It feels like that’s my place – to offer no obstruction or obstacles to this movement. [pause]

Great love for the trees. I know there’s so much love I’ve developed for them. I was with the trees today and yesterday.

There’s no effort needed to allow the heart to be open. It seems so natural. [pause]

It’s like the in breath and the out breath are one. There’s no ego in the middle holding to anything that is passing through. Nothing of what is received is held onto.

But a thought can come and constrict. It is around wishing to hold onto some substance. It just comes in and that is such a clear misunderstanding. Everything that comes in needs to pass through and leave.

It is a direct teaching about grasping.

Jack: Yes.

Alfred: Very specifically about a particular area around the heart that releases and grasps again, releases and grasps. [pause]

I’m given to experience that, to discover that now in my life. No judgment about why I didn’t understand it earlier. No fear. Almost like every being has to discover that at some point. And my moment to receive that is just at the time when something in me is ready for that to happen. Maybe it could not have been ready any sooner. [pause]

It feels like one of those direct teachings in which one’s life cannot proceed afterwards as it did before. But… [chuckle] of course we know that’s not entirely true. But right now that seems very compelling.

Jack: Well, I think it’s good to feel the feeling of that – the feeling of its substantiality.

Alfred: Exactly.

Jack: And as you’ve often said to place a marker there to return to in daily life.

And I think there’s something about that dark stellar substance we started with that is more accessible than some other parts. So it’s a place to begin.

Alfred: It feels like a life substance.

Jack: Yes. Life.

Alfred: A very natural transition is taking place.

[and we end the session]

Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, In the Situation Room, Dark Blue Stellar Material.

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Turning Toward the Source Is a Turning Toward Feeling

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Alfred: So I think you and I have gotten gradually into allowing a certain concentration to take place without rushing.

Jack: Right. And I think it’s interesting that there’s been a kind of progression so that rather than me suggesting a certain line of concentration, you find your own concentration which means then it’s more independent. [pause]

Alfred: Stillness and listening feel very accessible.

Jack: That’s interesting. As if a channel has already been opened or opened a little wider than usual. [pause]

Alfred: A vivid image of lilacs at the lake. So vivid, so perfect with the raindrops on it. [pause]

But there is a sense that there’s a finer materiality that is not yet accessible because the body is not ready. It is sensed on the periphery but there’s too much density in the experience for it to enter. [long pause where Alfred seems to be asleep for a while]

There’s a light. As if I dozed off and woke up to that. A gentle light above the head. Flowing down to the body. Like a sun.

Jack: Yes, it may have been necessary to enter into sleep for a moment to be deep enough for that to appear. We don’t usually have a connection with the light near the beginning so it’s very interesting.

Alfred: Yes. And there’s an awareness of a landscape that is very unfamiliar. Grey green, watery. Water surface. [pause]

The head feels very open to influence. Something penetrates directly. There’s a need to allow that energy to be absorbed. I’m giving time to this process.

Jack: Yes. That’s good. [pause]

Alfred: It’s like a threshold. I’m trying to see where it’s going. There’s a certain fear that prevents me from allowing that to proceed.

But there’s a perfectly square structure. Building. Big stones. Very strange colors. Perfect joints. The word is entombed. That’s the feeling I have.

Jack: What is entombed?

Alfred: I am. I am being entombed in this structure. I see it from the inside. It’s like a perfect square. Large structure. Perhaps the size of this room. Windowless. The material is kind of intricate in that there’s a sense that those stones are perfectly joined and are at exactly right angles, a perfect square. They also can change their conductance and become transparent under certain conditions. That’s what is beginning to take place. What seemed to be opaque begins to be transparent, or begins to approach transparency. I can tell that it’s square blocks because I can see the seams. [pause]

It’s such an interesting teaching right now: Whether in our ordinary state or in this special state under hypnosis, it’s the same principle. The seeing is the center and it really has to be allowed to unfold. No different. So that as I allow that particular seeing, it flows from the top of the head and to the back. What comes with that is that there’s a certain kind of clarity to what is perceptible. It comes about independently and not as a result of any direct reaching or focusing.

The roof of that structure has either opened or become entirely transparent. It clearly has a cosmic or interplanetary purpose because now it’s directed at the dark, starry sky. This is important information, a validation, and it brings clarity.

There was an initial effort involved in recognizing or identifying that structure. This was preventing the experience from unfolding. It felt like the same structure that was discovered in the ground as I was plowing a field in Provence. [in a previous session] At that time it was not clear to me what it might have been. But it was also a kind of square buried structure or a crystal or something.

I have a certain awe in front of the firmament, the starry sky.

Jack: Yes, of course.

Alfred: Almost like a kind of seeking home base or my home planet in this wide swath of an infinite firmament. [pause]

It’s like a search by feeling. There are ongoing strong vibrations along the head. As if receiving periodic downloads where I need to wait until the file is completely downloaded. [pause]

And it’s kind of that kind of feeling of proximity, of a certain belongingness that translates into an accelerated movement towards the object…

Jack: The celestial object, the object in the sky?

Alfred: Yes, but it’s not yet clear. There is a sense of home. [pause]

The more the visual and the auditory can be abandoned, the more reliable the navigation by feeling, or by attraction, becomes. It also begins to clarify a certain connection with family. I’m seeing something like family pictures of blues. [blue beings] What makes it look like a family is the different heights.

Going home to visit my family is the kind of feeling. [pause]

The body is no longer its usual configuration or density. Lots of spaces between the molecules. It’s like a group of molecules traveling together which is experienced as I but it’s not anything I recognize as my planetary body. It’s like a body of awareness. [pause]

At first I thought I was the father of this family and that I’m coming to visit them from some type of base or different planet, some story or other. But now what seems much more compelling is that it might be some kin who are waiting for me to reach some level of maturity in order to join them. I’m not yet entirely formed. [pause]

It struck me in my meditation this morning, during moments of very pure perception and stillness, that I am faced with a question about understanding what my work with the astral body is. [pause]

So that it can become a body of the soul. [pause]

There’s a way in which the attachment to this body, to this planetary body needs to be further loosened for that other body to make itself present fully. [pause]

There were really very few moments when the planetary body, where the grip on it was loosened a bit. Its necessity is so in question. It’s so clear that it’s not necessary. Not necessary for whatever purposes this journey is taken. Much more can be gained by loosening it than by grasping. And the grasping of it does not seem any more to be out of fear or panic. It is more like a lack of skill in relinquishing it, which is something that is teachable and is being taught right now, directly.

Jack: So is it almost like a muscle letting go and relaxing?

Alfred: It’s like discovering that the heartbeat and the breathing, a particular kind of simple breathing, can be left behind in the physical body with no loss to the awareness. The awareness does not depend on the physical body.

But there’s a certain way in which this teaching, this direct experiencing, is facilitated by a source that is very mysterious. It’s not that I’m discovering this on my own, I’m being taught. The real necessity is to not be taken so much by what I just told you, but to be sensitive to the source. Because the part that wishes to know what is taking place is not the part that is active.

Jack: Yes. The part that wishes to know doesn’t really need to be involved, right?

Alfred: Right. Exactly.

Jack: Because something else is in progress.

Alfred: Turning toward the source is a turning towards feeling, to that kind of emanating benevolence that comes from a loving source. [pause]

This is the time where the area around the heart and the chest opens up. And this seems to allow access to a roomful of blue beings. Very crowded.

They don’t seem to be particularly interested in me. They seem to be preoccupied with something else and I’m joining them. Or they are worried about something else. Like attending to something they see, or their instruments. [pause]

There’s a certain way in which I need to remain active or receptive or else I’m taken by association. Even though those associations seem to come from a different source they’re still associations. [pause]

I have some sense that there’s an urgent and worried watching of some kind of flooding. Perhaps with instruments, or telescopes or on screens. So I’m not present in the situation but it’s watched from a distance. I think for a moment I was caught in the image so it felt real.

As if I’m looking above a kind of cliff where masses of water are flooding down a mountain. Over a valley. Knowing that this mass of water will submerge it. I took a kind of a leap back to that room with the other beings to not be completely taken by the image. Very green valley, very lush, with mountains on the edges. You see the water coming over the tops of the mountains and about to flood the valley. [pause]

There’s a sense that I’m carefully placed back here on my couch. Carefully and lovingly with a certain intensity of vibration all over the body intended to leave kind of a memory trace from whatever it is that was received. [pause]

Similar to the lesson from last session; a certain teaching in the process of the layering of the material body.

Jack: And the process of returning.

Alfred: Yes. This is not where the source lies.

Jack: No.

Alfred: Another reminder both in the return and in the departure.

Jack: Is there still a sense of the source inside?

Alfred: Oh, yes. The materiality of the body and the light and vibration of the source are both equally present. Very naturally. Without contradiction.

But the physical body seems to be entirely free of tensions. As I speak it begins to acquire its more tense and more dense configuration which obscures the luminosity – but not entirely.

Jack: Yes. It’s important that it’s not entirely.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

It’s as if the body has a luminous skeleton or structure on which it is dependent. It requires a certain effort, a sensitivity to stay in touch and stay connected with that. This familiar body is with its tensions and activities is coming into being again. Making its demands and requirements.

It’s interesting that that luminosity of vibration expands more from the outside than from within; more like an envelope than a core. It’s important to remember that for later. It’s almost like a parallax, like a distortion of a true perception that now with the body interfering with the reception – the ordinary body – it’s misperceiving the inner for the outer – like a projection that leads to striving and tension.

Almost as an affirmation, I had an image now of the whole Milky Way or starry night inside the body. The whole galaxy within the body.

Thank you. Thank you whoever is looking after us so well. Providing us with exactly what we need for our development. Nothing more; nothing less. Whatever it is that we can receive with our limited capacities.

Jack: Our limited abilities.

Alfred: Yes.

[session proper ends]

Alfred: That image of the water flowing over the mountains in the session very much echoes visions that I’ve been having these days. I don’t fight them. I don’t try to reason about them. But when I’m near tall mountains there have been sudden images of those mountains submerged under the water. Water coming into the valleys. Part of me gets agitated and panicky. I’m just noticing that.

Jack: And the quantity of water is higher than the mountains… in the sense that it comes over…

Alfred: Right now that’s what I saw. But I’m just seeing a moment in time. At times the mountains are covered by vegetation at times by water. Such changes are gripping and horrifying from the human point of view; but from an objective view, from a geological perspective it’s probably just a normal cycle.

Jack: What you saw was temporary.

Alfred: Yes.

That structure I was in was a cube. Between sessions, those perfect cubes keep coming to me. The Ka’aba came once for example. I spoke of entombment but I don’t think it was. It felt claustrophobic and it felt like that could have stopped me on the threshold and prevented me from entering into a deeper state. Once inside, it felt like some kind of space station.

Jack: Plus it opened!

Alfred: It opened and when I woke up it almost opened like an iris into a sky.

Did you resonate with anything in particular?

Jack: It might be interesting to piece together something like a composite journey now that we have more material. Each session has always slightly more detail or angles on what’s going on.

Alfred: Specifically, there are two aspects. One is the content or what is revealed though this in terms of a place and a time and action but then there is the whole teaching about transformation which I report about in terms of experiences in the body, experiences of awareness. It feels like that’s the key, that’s where the teaching is becoming more and more precise.

Each session has the moment of saturation, a moment where something is collected enough to make that leap to the next level.

Jack: And I’m struck by how almost abrupt it is. It goes to a certain point and then click you’re back – not instantly but quite quickly compared to the rest of the progression.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: It’s as if… “OK that’s enough for today.”

There was no continuation or resolution of the difficulty that was being visualized on screens. It doesn’t develop into a story – like what happened before in earlier sessions.

Alfred: Right.

Jack: But it’s still obviously happening somewhere.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: And these blue beings – that’s their specialty it seems – helping in situations.

Alfred: Yes. There was a kind of monitoring, close monitoring of that situation.

Jack: Yes. So what was going on was clear… but you weren’t drawn into it at all. Except to see it clearly. And you feel that you’re one of them; you’re not foreign to the situation.

Alfred: No, I wasn’t drawn into it. I was in the situation room with them. It wasn’t about me. That’s another thing, it was not like previous sessions where it seemed like there were beings assisting me to transform or something. It’s like I’m joining a situation there, as if I have an existence there, and nobody makes a big fuss about someone showing up. I just take my form there that is there waiting to be taken.


Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, Turning Toward the Source Is a Turning Toward Feeling.

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The Disciples

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Jack: And the third little exercise I like to do is just have you now think of some place. It can be the same place we went to last time in Michigan or wherever you feel you need to be right now. Just take your time and come to something and when you feel ready you can begin to tell me about it and the telling of it also will take us closer to the subconscious because it’s dealing in pictures and images. So when you feel ready just say something about where you are now Samuel.

Samuel: I went quite naturally to the summit of a mountain in Switzerland. I was sitting at the back of the house where I’d been for a week. Everyone had gone and I was sitting alone. In the sunlight. And feeling part of the mountains on the other side of the valley. Feeling completely integrated with it. I’m searching for another word which is deeper than that. Just really feeling completely a part of it – indistinguishable from it. Feeling a part of the mountains and the valley. I can see it now.

Jack: Good. Beautiful.

Samuel: Completely in the atmosphere of it. Part of the atmosphere of it. Indistinguishable from it.

Jack: Well, just stay for a while and see what that influence brings to you. It’s already very strong and installed in you. There’s a communication or a communion taking place.

Samuel: I feel bathed in it. Like a baptism. Again.

Jack: Again, yes.

Samuel: A reminder. I’m part of it. I belong to it. I’m nourished by it.

And I’m in the water and I’m [intonation of disbelief] in these white robes. Being immersed by somebody under the water and coming up. My face to the sun. There’s a hand on my head pushing me under and then coming back up. It’s all light. And it’s coming out of the water. It’s light. Water sparkling. And a feeling… just this joy of coming back into life.

And there are others around – other disciples – who are also joyful. It’s like I’m being renewed for them not just for myself.

Jack: Right.

Samuel: I can’t see who was pushing me under and allowing me to come back up. But I sense this benevolence.

Jack: You have a sense of the vibration of the person.

Samuel: Yes, and that’s connected to something very, very high. Just as to a source. It’s coming through this person. And into me.

Jack: Ah. Into you as well. So you are bathed not just in the water but in this influence.

Samuel: In this light.

Jack: In the light, I see.

Samuel: And it’s a seashore.

Jack: I see.

Samuel: There are people on the beach as well as these other people in white robes standing in the water. There’s such a feeling of being embraced by their love.

And these tears of joy that mix with the water.

Jack: Both of them salty.

Samuel: Yes, part of the water.

Jack: Beautiful.

Samuel: Yes. It’s in the afternoon. There are beautiful clouds in the sky. Sparkling light on the water. [whispering] I’m standing with my eyes closed and yet I can somehow see everything. Horizon. On the sea.

Jack: You can see the horizon?

Samuel: Yes. I can see the horizon.

Jack: You can see a long way?

Samuel: Yes, a long way. Much further than the lake. It’s the sea.

Jack: Because it’s the sea.

Samuel: It’s the sea.

I’m aware of the shoreline. We’re in a little cove. And there are boats. Fishing boats. Brightly colored. Little masts. Everything very calm. Very tranquil. Almost nothing moving. Just this gentle movement of the water. Very small gentle waves that are just lapping on the shore, on the sand.

And now the others are coming to greet me. I’m turned towards the shore and they’re coming. They’re putting their arms around me. And I’m just so happy to be with them. And they’re a whole group, very close, arms around each other and around me. And I’m feeling such deep love. Smiling through these tears.

Jack: Beautiful.

Samuel: I can’t really see who they are but I feel their presence. They are individuals and yet they are interconnected. They’re part of one another. They are individuals but they make a whole. In its embrace.

Now I see a bit of their smiling faces as well. Deep faces. Deep with life. With a living life. It’s suffering. And it’s joy. Both together. Feeling this suffering.

It’s an extraordinarily beautiful day. The sunlight and the beach. And they are bringing me up to the shore very slowly and carefully out of the water. Into the sunlight on the beach.

And there’s a town, a little village that’s there. Not right there on the shore but back a little bit. And we’re walking up the beach. Almost all of us together, all connected, holding one another. A phalanx of these robed people. Coming back into the normal life. The everyday life.

And this connection to the water at the same time. Feeling a kind of trail of sparkling light back to the water. Almost floating. Up in the air. Carried by this sparkling light. There’s a trail that goes back to the water, back to this place of baptism where they carried me onto the shore. But now I’m floating above it. I’m not walking but floating above it.

Jack: Good.

Samuel: Being carried by these angels.

Jack: Very beautiful.

Samuel: Now they’re less formed as human beings – more ethereal now. And yet still quite apparent. I’m floating with them. Carried in the stream of light from the water. Like being buoyed by it. Not going anywhere. This group I’m with. I’m sort of hovering above the beach. And a feeling of connection to this village. Of the life within it. All the full spectrum of life. Of the petty and the sublime. And the sorrow. And the happiness. But it’s in this quiet afternoon. It’s all there. Just like it’s nap time for everyone. But it’s all there. In this little village – every aspect of humanity. Quiet in this afternoon. Very calm and peaceful.

It’s ancient. It’s of a scale that I remember seeing in Sicily. These ruins of villages. Very small. The streets very small. And the houses and rooms very small. Almost like a miniature – but real – not a miniature.

It’s humanity and how it’s manifest in this village, in people. Surrounded by this forest but very sparse. It’s an island. Shoreline vegetation. Maybe an island. And this gentle hill rolling up behind it. No major big trees like we have here. And it’s all bathed in the warm afternoon light. Everything’s so quiet. I’m still there. Coming back to the beach. My feet in the sand. Still accompanied but not by any recognizable person. Just the feeling of this gathering still very much with me. Still all very… These realms mixing – the realm of the real and the tangible and this other ethereal influence. And I feel I need to remember that I’m accompanied by them… always.

Jack: That accompaniment is always there.

Samuel: Always there. [whispered] Always with me. There’s love and support and encouragement.

We’re walking towards the village. Very slowly. Almost not walking just moving towards it. Somehow I’m larger than I should be with respect to this village. [intonation of disbelief] Moving towards it but not getting in it. Just there. I’m turning back to the sea just now empty and calm. Sand. Going into the water. The lapping of the water on the beach. The sparkling sunlight and the edge of it as the water flows up onto the beach. Like a necklace. A sparkling necklace on the shoreline.

The beauty of it. The extraordinary beauty of it. But it’s not something I’m just looking at and appreciating. It’s that I’m included in it. It’s like I’m embraced by the beauty of it. By the beauty itself. I’m being held by it. Breathing the beauty in. Having it flow through me. Through every part of my body.

Blue sky. This calm sea. And the feeling of God’s presence. In everything. It just came into my mind.

And now I’m quite large. It’s like I’ve taken in the whole scene in my arms that are outstretched like the shoreline. Embracing this beauty myself somehow.

Jack: Don’t worry about “how” – the size is an indication of something else.

Samuel: An extending of my embrace of this world. Being embraced back. Like a hug. The hug from the beauty of the world. A laughter coming from that. A kind of celebration.

Jack: Yes, it’s a celebration.

Samuel: Being in life. A celebration of being in life. And it’s so joyful. So beautiful. And I weep on its beauty.

Now it’s naturally fading.

Jack: Ah!

Samuel: But still there, just in a different way. Not fading as much as being transformed into something else.

And the thought of a setting sun. But that’s not what’s happening.

Jack: But that’s a symbol of what’s happening.

Samuel: It’s not yet the end of the day; it’s a movement into something else. Leaving the shore behind. Being part of this unending twilight. It’s not a twilight. It’s the beginning of the evening and the sky is still blue but a darker blue. The stars have not appeared yet. The sea is still there but it’s more the sky. There’s a glow at the edge of the horizon of a brighter blue and this deeper blue that’s up above.

I’m there with it and in it at the same time. Indistinguishable from it. Or a part of it. Becoming the sky.

Hmm. And this thought: this is a kind of death and reawakening. But that thought has come from another place in myself. It’s not actually a description of the scene. It’s something applied to it. It feels partial. And small in comparison to the experience of it. It’s not really a description of it. It’s from another part of myself. It’s grounded in something else that is very distant from this. But included in a benign way – not interfering with the sky, this night sky.

And the disciples are on the beach again. Looking up. Looking up I think at me in the… somewhere in between them and this big blue sky. I’m somehow in between. And they’re just standing on the beach. Maybe as a reminder to return. I’m coming back to them. And their smiling faces. Gentle smiles. Very calm. And I’m with them. None of the gestures of embrace. Just being a part of this group. Now witnessing together this scene at the end of the day. And now turning and walking back into the village. Disappearing into it. Disappearing. [pause]

We become a part of it. A part of this nature and the village. The village and the natural surroundings are all together. Like in a painting with everything painted together. Somehow we’re in it. We’re in the village. Not in any concrete way. Not in any physical form but in the life of the village. Not people – it’s kind of curious. But I don’t feel it’s empty. It’s not… personal.

Jack: So as if the village has it’s own life?

Samuel: Yes, it has its own life. It’s impersonal. It’s completely communal. It’s got a collective life – all the individuals have been blended. It’s the ultimate commune. And they’re there – individuals are part of it. Now they’re becoming more distinct. It’s like life is bubbling up in its usual form. All the laughter. [chuckles] Shoving and pushing. A range of people. Full spectrum. All kinds of people.

Now I’m reengaging in simply what people do. I have a sense of this humanity and the natural world. Simply engaging in the way they engage – all part of a natural law of engagement. Each species and each plant when they’re part of whatever it might be. They’re playing it out. Being. Being themselves. One being. All of a piece all together.

And then it’s receding. I’m leaving it.

Jack: Yes. It’s not a place you can stay but you certainly visited it. You were there.

Samuel: It’s so vivid, Jack!

Jack: Yes, yes.

Samuel: It’s so vivid in a way that’s beyond what I normally consider to be vivid. It’s not the surface of it. It’s everything about it. It’s the inside of it. It’s indescribable because it’s everything. It’s an appreciation of everything.

I’m breathing it now. It’s going down through every part of my body, right down to the fingertips, the tips of my toes.

Jack: Yes, the body can absorb it.

Samuel: That’s what it feels like. It’s like I’m digesting it, in quite a natural way – nothing forced. Nothing beyond what is essential. Being part of its lawfulness.

Such a gift!

Jack: Yes. It’s a gift. A gift that is now part of you.

Samuel: I feel it.

Jack: I think what is so important is that the ordinary consciousness is involved. It’s something that you will remember clearly for a long time. Because it’s part of you.

Samuel: I feel how the world has gotten so much bigger…

Jack: Yes. Exactly.

Samuel: …to include these visitations. And now I’m feeling the presence of the others as well…

Jack: You mean the others who were with you there?

Samuel: No, the presence of the previous experiences in these realms. Maybe it’s one realm. I can remember. But this one right now is very palpable.

Jack: Yes.

Samuel: I can almost feel the sand in my toes.

Jack: Yes, exactly. That’s where the body comes in and is so helpful. Because it stores the impression in a way that you can return to it.

Samuel: Oh, it was extraordinary! I’m remembering again the hand pushing me, as if in slow motion, into the water. And coming back up in the light, and the bubbles, everything about it. It’s so rich and I’m so surprised it can reappear like that.

Jack: It’s so surprising it could appear at all in the first place!

Samuel: Yes, I guess that’s right.

Jack: Interesting transition from Switzerland.

Samuel: Yes! Who knew that’s where it would go. Oh my goodness! You’re reminding me of that!

Jack: Yes, you traveled a long way from there…

Samuel: It’s a doorway to another world.

Jack: It was the contact with the landscape that allowed you access I think.

Samuel: How did I end up on that beach in the water?

Jack: It happened very quickly, right? Suddenly you were there.

Samuel: It needed to appear.

Jack: Yes, it needed to appear.

Other postings in this series: The Fact of God, The Disciples.

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The Fact of God

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)


Jack: So, Samuel, has something appeared? Where are you right now?

Samuel: I’m in a woods. Very young growth trees. And I’m walking through the woods. In Michigan.

Jack: Good.

Samuel: I’m by myself. The path comes out to the lake at one point going down a steep embankment and it emerges from the woods onto this wooden boardwalk, a little boardwalk path that takes you over the wetland right before the edge of the lake and then you emerge on this beautiful, beautiful lake. This is the north side of the lake so it’s bathed in the sun. I stand there waiting – sort of communing with this lake.

Jack: Yes, good to concentrate on that; concentrate on the lake, yes.

Samuel: And how deep it is. It’s very deep. [pause]

There’s something in the depths.

Jack: Yes, it’s good to feel that depth.

Samuel: I feel how the water is warm on the top. And the feet feel the difference in the cold of the water down below. There are very large old fish, deep in the lake.

Jack: Yes. Just stay with what’s happening visually. And sensation-wise, and especially the feet. Just feeling that.

Samuel: This warmth on the surface and the cool down below – not unpleasant but… And the memory of swimming in it when it’s been very rough. The wind creating these waves. This connection of the wind to a much larger movement. From very far away. Immense influence. And then it comes down to the waves hitting my face but knowing it comes from a long way away. And connected to something vast. A sense of the big and the small.

Jack: Yes, just stay with the images that are happening there. See if there is any particular part of that scene that attracts your attention more than another. Or see if there is a part of the body that is asking for your attention. [pause]

Samuel: Hmm. I’m swimming. Just sort of treading water, not like in the lake the last time [a previous session]. But that other lake is very much there now too. Feeling them both.

I must admit I’m drawn back to the second lake, that other lake from the last time. I’m drawn back to the incredible calm of it. The tranquility is simply pervasive everywhere. Nothing to be done. No treading. No. Nothing. And yet very clear. Crystal clear. The sun isn’t out. It’s a kind of slate grey sky. A little lighter actually but uniform – no clouds. The lake is reflecting that evenness.

The mountains in the distance are quite low. And the lake quite big. Sort of over my shoulder is a boat.

Jack: Which shoulder?

Samuel: Over my right shoulder, back a ways, there’s this old boat. Nothing’s happening on it right now. In fact, it’s empty. It’s like a sailing ship. An old sailing ship. I can’t quite see how old or what style it is but the decks are empty. I can sort of turn and see it. It’s like I’m kind of fixed looking in one direction. I just know that it’s back there. Maybe a memory of it. Although whatever the boat did or what happened on it is long gone. It’s also there. Just peaceful. Just a part of everything.

The thought of others doesn’t seem to… as I say that there’s sort of a feeling of others deeper in the lake. A little bit of a fear of grabbing my legs or something. I’m sort of in between this emptiness and this kind of indulgent imagining. It’s like a children’s nightmare. It doesn’t have the feeling of any real depth. I can turn it off too.

Jack: Yes, just see where you’re being taken. Try not to allow the judgment to interfere or derail or…

Samuel: Right now I’m being pulled down into it. I’m not resisting. Deeper into the lake. It’s darker. There’s still light up above me on the lake.

Jack: Yes, up at the surface.

Samuel: A little bit of fear. I’m not being pulled down by any…

Jack: You’re allowing yourself to just float down? Is that it?

Samuel: I’m being drawn down but not by any imagined thing. Just beginning to descend. There’s no thought of it being anything other than what it should be. And then the memory of being above the water, my head just above the water. Now almost looking back up to that from a little ways down.

Feeling something in my stomach.

Jack: Yes. Good to let your body inform you of what’s happening.

Samuel: I am dissolving in the water. De-materializing. It’s like complementary to what happened last time only its deep in the water. Becoming a part of this darkness that is not foreboding. It’s just a depth. [whispered] A depth.

And no longing for the opposite. It’s just corresponding in a way to the memory of that other direction – into the light. It’s into the darkness but not in any way frightening. Or opposite. It’s complementary. It’s like the other side of the… The Yin and Yang. The symbol of darkness and light.

Jack: You mentioned your stomach. Is anything still going on there? Has it settled down?

Samuel: A little bit. It might just be lunch. Feels more organic than psychic but it takes me to other parts of my body. There’s tension in my face. But I feel it relaxing into this darkness. It’s getting darker now. Losing sight of the surface. There’s a little anxiety in that.

Jack: Yes, of course. But in the emotions there seems also to be something that’s not anxious.

Samuel: Right. It’s an accepting of this. This depth. Almost the gift of it. It’s almost a gift. Something deeply organic.

Trying to resist thinking about it, analyzing it.

Jack: Feel it. Just feel it.

Samuel: Now I’m on the bottom of this lake. In the silt. There are these plants that you’d find at the bottom. It’s clean. And there’s a movement of seaweed at the bottom. And somehow a light. I don’t know where it’s coming from. It’s down far. It’s far from the surface. It’s illuminated still in some way. Like it’s dappled from the sun.

Jack: Yes, and perhaps your eyes are simply becoming adjusted so you can see…

Samuel: Yes. There’s a whole world in there. I don’t see any fish. It’s in a way like the surface. Very tranquil. The currents are waving these seaweed plants that are on the bottom. Very soft and green. Quite beautiful.

There’s something… there’s a something, a quiet beauty of it that has an inner depth. There’s another layer. There’s another realm within it that’s even deeper. Like something’s opened up and moving one more layer down, which didn’t seem possible before. It seemed like it was the bottom of the lake but now it’s opened to another darker world but… Again not foreboding. But potent. Powerful.

There are very few signposts.

I just now relaxed a little deeper. I was tense. I could tell.

Jack: Yes, you mentioned a tension in the forehead.

Samuel: And in my arms. They just let go a little bit as I’m in this… in this darkness. It doesn’t have a bottom. It’s infinite. I’m very small. Like a bubble.

I just have the image suddenly reversing. Being in space. A little star in space.

Jack: Yes, yes. Just go with what’s taking place. Don’t let the mind or apparent contradictions interfere.

Samuel: Yes. It’s as if the inside turned out. Now it’s… I’m in this galaxy. All these stars around me. The quiet still…

I don’t know what I’m doing there. It doesn’t seem to matter.

Jack: It’s the being there that’s important.

Samuel: Yes. I’m just floating. But it’s very vivid. This empty space has almost a materiality to it. Like water.

Jack: Right.

Samuel: It’s empty air. It defies my understanding of empty space; it doesn’t feel empty. It feels vast but… But alive.

Jack: Ah, alive. Interesting.

Samuel: It’s alive. Everything is alive.

There are distant stars. Some now very close. I can almost touch them. The stars are coming to me. They’re coming to greet me. They’re curious about me. It’s like they’re some sort of creatures that are just curious as to what I’m doing there. They’re curious about me. They’re examining me. No threat, no nothing, it’s just… I’m having a relationship with them. I feel a warmth with them. It’s like I’ve been recognized; and I somehow recognize them. As if we’re somehow connected. As if I’m another star now.

My body is kind of not at all like it was in the lake where it was more like my body. It’s like… It’s not that I don’t have a body and it’s not that I was… There was some sort of entity. I’m kind of glowing. I realize that I’m emanating some kind of light too just like these stars that are like bright orbs right nearby. But I feel like I’m inside them as well as they’re inside me.

Jack: Wow.

Samuel: We can go back and forth.

Jack: It’s a type of communication, eh?

Samuel: Well, it is and all notion of my identity is eroded. It’s not eroded – it’s just dissipated, dissolved. I can barely keep a sense of it.

Jack: But also a feeling that this isn’t a bad thing, right?

Samuel: No, not at all. It’s like I’m at an atomic level. And blended. Somehow blended with these… these lights. And right in the middle – very bright. And now inside just sort of… I’ve now been absorbed by one of them. And I’m inside it. Just part of it. [intonation of wonder] Really indistinguishable from it. My talking about it is the only distinguishing part. It’s just blended. It’s quite amazing. And inside… [chuckling] is larger than the outside. It’s like it’s been folded in again to this bright… this bright universe. It’s like being in a sunlit cloud – only nothing soft about it. More bright. Or brilliant.

Ah. I feel it going through my body right now. Like being infused with this light. Just circulating as I’m lying here. I’m feeling it, lying here, and at the same time, somewhere else. It’s diminished now. It’s more like digested. And now that world is inside me. Amazing! Everything is reversed again. That vastness is inside me. Impossible!

Jack: [chuckling] Impossible but not impossible.

Samuel: I can feel it.

Jack: Yes, it’s there.

Samuel: It’s a universe inside myself. It’s extraordinary. I feel it right through my fingertips, down to my toes, my face. Like I’m floating.

At the same time I feel the weight of my body. But not in the normal way. The density of it.

As I close my eyes more, this universe appears again – outside, and I’m out in space again. And still the memory of it being inside me. [intonation of wonder] It’s very strange.

Jack: But you’re able to go back and forth.

Samuel: Yes, but almost simultaneously. I’m existing in both. It’s just incredible! This vastness inside and then being part of the vastness outside. It’s just… [sigh] There’s no beginning or end. [pause] In breathing in the universe.

Jack: Ah, yes, I think it’s good to connect to the breathing.

Samuel: I think that’s a kind of portal that exchanges, like in an hourglass, these two worlds. This vast world outside and this vast world inside. Endless universe.

And it’s benign. I don’t feel it as bedeviled as I did the last time I was out. I mean the sense of it… of the love of God. This is more the fact of God. The fact of it. The fact of this endless life source. [whispered] [pause]

No sense of identity as being meaningful at all. Nothing personal about it. In fact extraordinarily impersonal. But not… unkind.

Jack: Not cold, right?

Samuel: Not cold at all. And there was… What’s coming back to me is the warmth of a kind of greeting, being greeted by this star close by. It’s like the distant star is not any bigger than I am when it gets close. It’s not like it becomes a gigantic thing. It’s not that big. There’s a similarity. Literally. It’s a funny combination of a curiosity, a warmth of a kind of curiosity coming from this light, this emanating light. The warmth of it. Like a smile of sorts. Of recognition. Of another life-form. In this dark, in this blackness. It’s extraordinary! The space having a kind of… I was about to say viscosity to it. But it’s not quite that but… It’s nothing I can describe. But it’s not empty.

Jack: I think that’s the best you can do. It’s just not empty.

Samuel: It’s all connected. Everything is connected. Everything is related at a very fine level, an imperceptibly fine level and now right through my body, all of my body at a sort of granular level. I’m just in my body right now feeling that almost cellular level of relationship. I feel the outside of the body but I feel this movement of energy inside that’s material. It’s not the way I usually think of the sensation as a result of the energy. It’s material – materialized in the… I can’t explain it. It’s the cells. Just having a feeling for this other very fine level of life. [pause]

And I seem to be coming back to the lake.

Jack: Ah! Coming back to the lake where we began?

Samuel: No, the lake that’s quiet with the boat – the second lake.

Jack: OK.

Samuel: Back to that. I don’t have any sense of the boat it’s just the… Now the lake is a little different.

Jack: Oh.

Samuel: It’s more like kind of a blend between this lake in Michigan that’s rooted in a reality I know and this second lake that’s mythical – that exists on this mythical level – and not that that’s any less real.

Jack: Correct.

Samuel: I call it “mythical” but only because it’s not held by my idea of it. The experience of it is new every moment. Kind of continually unfolding.

Jack: Coming back that way to both lakes is a way of completing the circle I think.

Samuel: I feel that. The memory of the space odyssey is there but it’s receding.

I’m not sure where I am right now. I’m hovering above the woods. Floating through the trees.

Jack: Yes. A different perspective.

Samuel: I’m floating over our house. A feeling of fondness for it. [big breath]

Jack: [chuckling] Yes a big breath is good. Both at the beginning and at the end. [The induction begins with a big breath.]

Samuel: Now I’m on the deck, waiting for my wife, looking at my Manhattan.

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Repairing Time Lines

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

 [Standard induction; suggestion to visit an initial “safe place.”]

[Note regarding toxins: Earlier in her life, Nadyezhda experienced exposure to corrosive chemicals that were similar in effect to the napalm used in Vietnam. And currently she is also working to release heavy metal toxins from vaccines. Her father was an American soldier in Vietnam.]

Jack: So, Nadyezhda, maybe you could say where you find yourself to be right now.

Nadyezhda: I’m sitting on the side of the waterfall in the Alps where I was last year. The sky is blue. And I hear the roar of the waterfall and the intense energy of the air around the waterfall. I’m alone but I’m not alone – there are no people – but I’m with nature.

Jack: Yes. So you feel that connection to the natural world.

Nadyezhda: Yes.

Jack: Because of the waterfall and its power. It’s good to stay there at the beginning. Great beginning! To be there in that very special environment. Especially being aware of the quality of the energy that’s coming from the waterfall. And you’re close enough that some of that atmosphere can be breathed in; some of it can just influence you from a distance. It’s good to be under the influence of that. It has an impact on the body and on the mind as well. Being there and feeling that something is beginning to take place as a result of that choice of place which of course is entirely from your own subconscious mind – it chose to begin there. It’s a good place to begin in order to establish a kind of ground, a kind of solidity to whatever we might go on to next.

Nadyezhda: Yes, it can wash everything away. The toxins, the old black stuff. It’s a spiritual energy too.

Jack: Do you get any closer to the waterfall? What happens next?

Nadyezhda: I’ve gone into the water. How could I resist?

Jack: Ah, that’s what I was hoping. So then it’s literal that something is being washed away? Actual.

Nadyezhda: In many ways – washing it away. [big breath out]

Jack: Good to feel the materiality of that – that actual substances are being washed away from you. Especially the current detox you’re doing right now. But perhaps others too; some that are perhaps still unknown, that need to depart. Of course that waterfall is capable of that. There’s a lot of force in the water. Strength is there. And the water is very alive; full of energy. [pause]

Taking your time. Some other important change may take place. [pause]

There also needs to be a sufficient amount of time for that process of cleansing to be accomplished.

Nadyezhda: And it’s nice – it’s not only the water, but it’s the light reflecting in the water droplets.

Jack: Good.

Nadyezhda: So it’s a light infusion.

Jack: Yes. Each drop has its own light.

And I think you can feel as well that the penetration is very deep – even though you have skin and so forth, the light can penetrate very deeply into the body, into the cellular structures of the body so that there’s a cleansing taking place throughout the whole physical body.

Nadyezhda: I’m sitting there by the waterfall but the waterfall is the length of the mountain. And I’m thinking that my body is small but the higher levels of my being are as long as the waterfall, as tall as the mountain. And it’s washing through all the layers.

And, of course it’s vertical so from the top to the bottom, to the root.

Jack: Yes, I think it’s good that you feel that all the different layers of the body – even those that are energetic – those that have connections to the spiritual parts we were speaking of before the session – all those parts are being touched in this process.

Nadyezhda: And all the toxins, whether literal or metaphorical, when they’re washed out they are reclaimed by the earth. The earth can process them.

Jack: Yes. Substances are being returned to where they belong – in the earth instead of in your body. [pause]

Let’s just see what the next important thing is that needs to appear. Although we don’t want to rush the process either – it may take some time to actually complete it because this has been a long-standing issue with your body – the toxins have been very deeply embedded. It can take some time to change the etheric structures behind the physical so that any kind of scar tissue has the potential to be re-formed as the body replaces cells in the natural process of living.

Nadyezhda: Yes, all of the tissues can be re-claimed and re-oriented on the energetic level.

Jack: Yes, exactly. Sometimes it’s helpful to be aware of the breathing because there is a kind of transformation connected to that circulation. This circle of contact with inside and outside. The breathing in of material from the outside and the breathing out of toxins and anything that doesn’t belong.

Nadyezhda: I feel it’s important to move on.

Jack: Yes, I think we need to keep going. I just didn’t want to rush that process.

I think it would be good to move on to some other element that is also needing information, or some new point of view.

At the beginning I asked that we have some help from other levels – it could be now that there would be someone or something that would appear to show some of the next steps that Nadyezhda needs to engage in in this life that’s unfolding. In the area of being in different places, in the area of professional work – there are several areas. Let’s just see if you could feel that a transition is being made now to something else that needs to be seen or experienced. One, two, three.  

Nadyezhda: I start to get a sense of the obstacles. The energetic imprint of obstacles. And then the waterfall can wash them away. And that’s good.

But then there’s a hawk circling on the mountainside. He’s going around. Maybe the hawk can lead me somewhere.

Jack: Yes, you might want to address him.

Nadyezhda: Can this be the kind of hawk that you use for hunting?

“I’ll come and sit on your hand and then we’ll find…”

Well, I won’t ask this hawk to hunt a fox for me but we’ll go somewhere.

Jack: Yes, you can use him to help you go somewhere. Absolutely.

Nadyezhda: I’m looking at his beautiful golden eyes.

Jack: Yes and the hawk has a reputation to be able to see very far and clearly.

Nadyezhda: What a nice thing.

So then I’m asking him, “Can I hang onto your claws while we fly down the mountainside?” And I think we can do that.

Jack: Sure. He can carry you. [pause]

So let’s just see where he takes you. What needs to be seen and experienced?

Nadyezhda: I think we’re going back to this little house that was in a previous session. It was also in the Alps but in Switzerland. We’re going back to this little log cabin where I would have a fire in front of the cabin.

I’m going into the cabin.

I feel like there’s a dark person in the cabin. He’s there. He was there in the last session but we went in a different direction last time. And now there’s this dark figure again.

Jack: Well, see how you feel. Maybe it’s time to have a meeting with that dark character. Just see what feels right.

Nadyezhda: I feel like it might be my father. He was a pretty dark character.

Jack: There may be some exchange necessary in order to settle some old business. And you know that you’re protected so you can have an exchange.

Nadyezhda: I ask the hawk to wait for me outside the cabin on a stand. I’m anxious for him; like he lives with me.

Then I can go into the cabin and I’m supposed to have a dialogue with this person.

I say to my unconscious, “Well, just show me a way.

Jack: Yes. Just ask.

Nadyezhda: So now I have to have a dialogue with a shadow. He’s a shadow. He’s like a ghost. He’s not himself. Because his soul was taken away in Vietnam. He’s a hungry ghost.

[big sigh] OK. I’m face to face with a hungry ghost. But I’m not afraid and I have resources and I have dialogue.

Jack: Yes, you have resources. You can call on whomever you need to help. But it’s the dialogue that’s important.

Nadyezhda: My hawk is waiting for me.

Now I have to ask why are we here and what needs to happen.

Jack: You’re operating from a very different place from what the shadow is. You have resources. There may be something you can do to help this hungry ghost be less hungry or to move on in some way.

Nadyezhda: I feel like it’s a profound ghost. It’s not only my father. It’s also parts of myself. It’s also people in Vietnam. Who were murdered. Children. All of this history. Like the girl with napalm. I was the girl with napalm. [referring to her accident with corrosive chemicals]

Jack: So just ask for whatever helpful resource is appropriate and needed by you in this situation – not just what concerns your father. Sometimes a way of visualizing it is a line of people who were subjected to the same thing. So there’s an actual line of connections and once some healing begins to take place in one part of the line it can spread to others. You don’t have to heal the whole line but you can heal a part. And the natural person is your father whom you have a connection with. At least starting there something can begin to change.

Nadyezhda: I light an oil lamp. That helps.

Jack: Good. Excellent.

Nadyezhda: Yes, I can start to feel the suffering.

Jack: Bringing light to the situation is what is needed.

Nadyezhda: Because it’s dark inside the cabin, it’s a shadowy energy so the light there helps.

Maybe I can say an incantation again to dispel all the suffering.

Jack: Yes.

Nadyezhda: It’s a lot of suffering. The pain – things that have happened that are unresolved. The damages are lingering. [big sigh] And it’s shared – it’s not only one person. But my father’s there – he’s the physical manifestation of all of this. He’s the ghost I see sitting in front of me.

Jack: Something is needed to begin to dissipate this suffering. See what it is that you’re provided with. [pause]

Nadyezhda: Well, the first thing I do is make a food offering. Like the Chinese offer food at the hungry ghost festival. I’m putting out a little cake. He can’t eat it because he’s a ghost but it’s an energetic offering.

Jack: Yes, it’s an energetic offering.

Nadyezhda: I can light more candles. I can light a hundred candles at once.

On my side of the room the candles are all around me and behind me. On the other side of the room where he’s sitting, all is dark. My side is all light and the other half is all dark.

Jack: Maybe you need to invite him into the light…

Nadyezhda: Maybe. We’ll see.

I think I have to intensify the light… And the warmth.

Ah! [big breath] Now the people from Vietnam are there in the room too. They need to be brought to the light.

He never told us what he did. He never told us. It doesn’t matter but…

Jack: But you’re seeing it…

Nadyezhda: The other ghosts are there; even the napalm girl from the pictures. And I see another man, an adult man. I’m apologizing – in whatever capacity I can. I’m apologizing and I make the offering to them too.

My father is sitting down. He’s so blank. He’s so not there. I can almost feel more the humanity of this girl and the man who are there. And so my intention is more with them.

Jack: That’s fine. Maybe that has to happen first before you can help your father… We don’t know. We don’t know how it will unfold.

Nadyezhda: I feel I can embrace the girl, and console her, make her feel better. Yes, these other people are communicating with me more. They’re talking with me. I don’t know what they’re saying but they’re giving me their attention. My father is just not there. He’s gone. All gone. But they are trying to reach me.

Jack: Fine.

Nadyezhda: I’m just trying to soothe that girl.

Jack: That’s good. She needs that. Yes.

Nadyezhda: And I give her a cake to eat because she’s still more like a human and not a ghost. She can eat it. I stroke her hair and hold her.

Jack: Good.

Nadyezhda: [big breath] I can see the napalm burns on her back. I put my hands on them.

Jack: And she’s responding to you?

Nadyezhda: This is what she wants. Yes. She doesn’t say anything but she’s there.

Jack: Yes, but you can feel her feelings…

Nadyezhda: I’m healing her. [pause]

The man might be her father. He’s gesturing for her to go to me. [pause]

I’m healing her napalm injuries.

Jack: Yes, it’s very important to have that healing because otherwise the scarring continues.

Nadyezhda: [big breath] She’s iconic. It’s the twentieth century – all this kind of hell that everyone went through – my family in the twentieth century – all that is there.

Jack: Yes, that’s a good way to look at it – iconic. So you’re really healing an archetype.

Nadyezhda: It’s good. I feel the healing occurring.

It is something that is reflected in me, but it’s not just me. It’s a bigger thing.

Jack: Yes, I think it is.

I think maybe it is part of the repair of the energetic envelope of the Earth.

Nadyezhda: Yes. [pause]

[big breath] Well, she’s being healed. I can see more and more the injuries disappearing. I feel the heart energy.

Jack: You can feel that between you, right?

Nadyezhda: Yes. I’m giving that to her. That’s why her father brought her here. It was for this.

I can give him a cake as well. He doesn’t need so much from me but I’m holding his hand and giving him the offering.

I think when she’s better she can just go outside and play. Be a child again.

I think the process with her is complete. More or less.

Jack: Yes, it feels that way.

Nadyezhda: I just ask her father if he has something to say.

I think she’s eight years old. That’s all I know. I just see her black hair. So then I ask her father something. [pause]

It’s good and it’s also telling me yes I can heal someone. That I’m capable.

Jack: Is there anything more that needs to be done with your father?

Nadyezhda: I don’t know yet. I think I’m still talking to this other man.

Jack: OK. Fine.

Nadyezhda: I’m holding his hand and asking him if there is something else.

I just got an image of an airplane going over the jungle spraying DDT all over. My father was exposed to that too. I think the man says that we need to heal the jungle – maybe that’s what it is too. “That’s my home; we should heal the jungle.”

I’m asking him – well, I can hold your daughter but then can I hold the jungle? How can we do it? [chuckles]

Jack: See what comes…

Nadyezhda: He gives me an orange fruit. It’s spiny. It’s not a fruit that I know. It’s orange, it can fit in my hand, it’s round. It has little soft spikes on it.

I feel like I tell him – I want to and I don’t know how but at some point in the future I will know how. I’m not ready for that part but I take the little orange fruit from him and that’s something I’ll keep with me for the next stage. I don’t know what it is yet.

It’s also a flower. It’s a fruit and a flower at the same time. Like a little flame. I say thank you to him. The girl went outside. I think that’s all that I have with him. He’s smiling. I’m happy I can restore something to them.

Jack: Good.

Nadyezhda: So… my father is still sitting there. He’s still blank.

It’s easier for me to cope with him as a ghost than a real person because he was harmful. He was really toxic. He was really toxic. But it’s not all his fault. I mean everything was done to him.

So I just sit there and I ask what needs to happen.

Jack: Good.

Nadyezhda: But now where the two people were [the girl and her father] – they were on his side of the room and they were in the darkness – now that they’re healed and they have left the cabin there is light there. There is orange light where they were before. So now there is more light on the other side of the cabin.

I’m trying to grow the orange light, make it stronger. [big breath out] [pause]

The color orange – that’s the right healing color for this situation: warmth and communication. [big breath out]

I get a sense that he’s coming alive a little bit and that I would be able to talk to him. Part of me doesn’t want to talk to him and has blocked him out completely. Completely shut the door. But, I don’t know; there’s a little communication now.

He has a lead quality. [the metal lead]

I’m asking for the light to grow and wash away the deadness, the leadenness.

I feel he should say something to me but also I don’t want to even listen to him.

So I tell him, “You know I never wanted to listen to you because you’re so toxic. Why should I listen to you now?”

“I want progress. I want to heal and move ahead.”

Jack: It’s important to say to him what you are feeling.

Nadyezhda: But I feel there’s a progression… There’s a yellow coming into the field around where he’s sitting, going through his person. Orange is coming up brighter. [big breath out]

Jack: Well, it’s that progress in the light that’s important not the words he could or couldn’t say to you.

Nadyezhda: [big breath out] I think I have a hard time listening to him even if he has a message.

But I ask him if he wants a cake. He says yes and he takes it. I think he needs it.

This is a hard thing – the hardness of not feeling compassion because you’ve been hurt too much. That’s falling away a little bit.

I also want to tell him, “Just take it and go away.”

So I’m telling him, “If you can act like a person I will listen to you. Stop acting like a monster and I will listen to you.” [pause] [big breath out]

He’s coming alive a little bit with the yellow light and the cake.

And he’s not so much a ghost but I see both images flickering in and out of each other – the ghost and the person.

Maybe I don’t need to confront him myself or do anything personally. I can just ask the light to take the proper course.

Jack: Yes, I think that’s sensible.

Nadyezhda: Just tell it to do what it should do because it’s not about me.

Now the light is coming into the other side of the room. On his right side. White and yellow. And he’s still just sitting there in that chair.

I’m just asking the light to fill the room. [pause]

I feel like I’m almost done.

Jack: Yes, I don’t think we should go on too much longer. There’s an awful lot that has taken place. And you have the room almost completely bright now so… Maybe something now can be just left up to him.

Nadyezhda: I feel that there’s the part of him that’s the ghost and that will be just washed away by the light. Maybe there’s a person who can be there, who can stay but the ghost is going into the white light and disappearing.

Jack: I think you can withdraw.

Nadyezhda: I’ll just make a prayer, a general prayer for hungry ghosts to be taken back into the light. And that’s it. Things are dissolving; being resolved. The light is circulating everywhere. That part wasn’t something for me to do by myself I guess.

Jack: Yes, it’s been done by a higher power.

Do you want to have some contact with your hawk? Maybe just say goodbye.

Nadyezhda: Yes. He’s waiting outside.

I set up the fire inside the cabin.

And maybe I need a break so I can take a little cake for myself.

I go outside and the girl is playing outside and the father is happy again.

The hawk is there and so I’ll just take my hawk on my right hand and triumphantly ride into the forest.

The dark little cabin has been transformed into a place of healing.

I am grateful.

[We exit the altered state of consciousness.]

Posts in this series: Repairing Time Lines, A Good Man, The Firebird.

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