(Copyright © Jack Cain 2018, text and images)
Samuel: During a meditation recently, outside in the early morning before dawn, I had a very clear sense of being accompanied, nearby, by these guardians or sentinels. They were just there. No words. Looking out at the landscape and being there.
Jack: When was that meditation Samuel? How long ago?
Samuel: Not that long ago, maybe a week or even less. Recently enough that I can remember it and feel it now. I also felt something like it in our other sessions too. If I’m quiet enough they have a place in me.
Samuel: Yes, it is interesting. I don’t know what it is. It’s a realm that is now penetrating my habitual realm. There’s a communication between these different realities. The visitation of these guardians had the feeling of an omni-presence. I say a visitation because it’s coming from afar and visiting but the other interpretation is that they are always present and it’s my inability to be present to them – that I’m in fact in some other world and when I come to their world they’re there.
Jack: When I come to the real world.
Samuel: Exactly. When I come to the real world. Then I get that view. Interesting. [pause]
In my awareness of them I had a sense of what the quality of my own presence needed to be in order to be sensitive to them.
And I have a sense of them now.
Jack: [chuckling] Yes, I was just about to ask you that.
Samuel: There seems to be more than one of them. And it’s not that they were paying attention to me. They were looking out to the hills. And now I’m thinking that it’s an indication. And I’ve been saying to myself… “I lift up mine eyes unto the hills whence cometh my help.”
Samuel: They embody a searching and a looking out. An attentiveness, an extraordinary attentiveness. But very relaxed. Very at peace. And yet still very attentive.
Jack: It’s an interesting combination to be able to have both of those – a concentrated attentiveness and a relaxation at the same time. That’s not so easy.
Samuel: Yes. Yes.
It’s completely natural. Lawful. It’s a part of the order of things. They are emanated from that, from the order of things. That’s the feeling at any rate.
I don’t know if that circumstance leads to anything… because it was just a calm moment of my awareness of their presence. And I think there are two of them. One in particular that I’m… And a sense of them having a kind of embodiment but very imprecise. Just a presence. Tall. But I’m having the feeling they could be any size. In my memory now it’s changing into something more atmospheric.
But very much connected with this landscape that’s here and a feeling of a sense of place. Of my place here.
Jack: I think you need to keep a contact with those two presences and just see what takes place because you said you felt more close to one of them in particular.
Jack: So maybe something needs to develop along that line if you focus there.
Samuel: Yes. There’s one that was particularly nearby, there was one that was adjacent. And there were maybe more. Right now I have the strongest sense of this one. Before I felt that there was more than one.
And they are not doing anything but just looking out, looking out towards the city in fact. Just quietly standing there but with the sense of an accompaniment. I was about to say “protection” but there wasn’t any threat. And yet they’re guarding something, they are protecting something. Not as much perhaps a threat from the outside but protecting something from the inside. Protecting a relationship, a current of reception. They were curating that experience for me. Not in any overt way.
Jack: Maybe there’s something more that can take place right now that we’re in a special state and open to their influence. Maybe there’s something that can or should be conveyed to you from one of these presences or maybe there’s somewhere you need to go with them or…
Samuel: Well, in just suggesting that there’s a very strong feeling of them being here right now looking at me.
Bending in actually. They’re bending in. They’re leaning over the bed.
Jack: You’re being examined it looks like.
Samuel: Yes, exactly. I am. I’m being examined. That’s exactly it. A little bit like the orb that came [in the previous session] from far, far away and then came up and was sort of humored by my existence.
It’s a different feeling as in… I’m under a kind of scrutiny but also a wish, on their part, for something from me.
Jack: Yes, I think there’s an onus on you. What do you want from this situation, from this meeting, from this encounter, from this connection, from this relationship? Certainly these are two different worlds but it is a meeting of sorts so it’s not something you are going to pass off lightly on the other hand what precisely should be your response to the situation? And of course it’s not just speculating about it, it has to come from something very deep inside you.
Samuel: I feel that. I feel that something is being called from very deep inside me and I feel that my talking just now is in between the two.
Jack: So try to listen very carefully to the words you’re choosing to say. Do they represent your heart or not?
Samuel: The speaking is from in between, it’s not connected to… I mean I’m describing it but it’s not coming from that place.
Jack: [chuckling] So you just need to move closer, closer to that place, be there and that may shift something in your relationship to them because there’s an expectancy on their part for something here, it seems.
Samuel: Yes, I feel that it’s… They’re up to the right. And that place. A kind of yearning that’s coming from my heart.
Samuel: I feel it from inside my chest.
Jack: Yes, you need to feel it in the body, feel its exact location, its qualities.
Samuel: I have a sense of it. In my chest. A little to the right. It’s as if they’re calling it out, as if they’re drawing it out. They’re extracting it – this relationship.
They weren’t examining me. They were examining this place inside me. And they were calling it out. Extracting it.
Jack: Hmm. Interesting.
Samuel: Not extracting in the sense that they’re taking it from me…
Jack: Making it perceptible? Is that it?
Samuel: Making it perceptible but also drawing out the relationship. It’s a channel of sorts. It’s a channel. It’s a quality. It’s an atmosphere. It’s almost like it’s got a materiality to it. [sigh] There’s a picture of it. It’s like in molecules… but big. This kind of movement of this… [pause]
Now not so much but… Before it was pretty clear – it was like a flowing of something. It wasn’t a taking away. It was inexhaustible, this flow – it wasn’t an extraction in the sense of removing something. It was enlivening – as if this connection exists all the time but it’s unused. It’s not exercised. But it needs to be exercised. It needs to be cared for in a certain way. In an active way. There needs to be an accompaniment of it.
And I feel it sort of arising. They’re now further away, up to the right. They’re ascending. They’re further away but I have a connection to them. This is a kind of indication.
Jack: Because they’re further away doesn’t mean the connection is less… Is that right?
Samuel: That’s right. It’s an indication that I don’t need to have them standing next to me. [chuckling] I miss them but I don’t need them in order to have this connection. I feel that’s what they’re trying to show me. It’s that they’ve just done a little experiment right before my eyes. And yet my eyes are closed.
Jack: Yes but you’re seeing what’s happening.
Samuel: Yes, I’m seeing what’s happening.
It’s a lesson. What’s important is not their presence but the relationship… to give this inner side, this inner heart, to offer it. That’s not quite right either. That’s kind of imposed. It’s to allow it.
Jack: It has to be visible right?
Samuel: It’s feeling visible… It’s feeling visible… It is visible.
Jack: But it wasn’t before…
Samuel: It wasn’t before. It wasn’t when they were standing there during my meditation. That wasn’t a part of it. This now was to tell me something. I have a very strong feeling that they’re saying, “Pay attention to this.” They leaned in.
Jack: Yes, that was so dramatic.
Samuel: And connected. And connected to this… They pulled at this part of me as they were receding and now they are very far away and yet still there and… and this flowing… up and out of me. It goes both ways. I don’t know… to establish the connection that has to go up and out. But it’s a connection. I’m not being depleted in any way. It’s inexhaustible. It’s inexhaustible. [intonation of astonishment]
Samuel: Because I have the sense now it’s not mine. It’s in me. It’s inexhaustible because it’s everywhere. [whispering] It’s in everything. Ah. In everything.
But I feel it through me at the moment.
I’m feeling my whole body right now. I’m lying a little bit on one side so that might be why I’m experiencing it a little bit to one side. But it’s clearly from my heart, my chest. [pause]
I think the lesson is over.
Other postings in this series: The Fact of God, The Disciples, The Orb Smiles, Kindly Bent to Ease Us, Porousness.