Alfred: It’s almost as if the mind is re-setting. All kinds of fragments and associations of the day are discharged and have to pass – like waste material. So that something can empty and begin to open up or lead to some different kind activity in the head brain. [pause]
A very familiar sensation. The body on the couch is also a body but there’s a body floating above it that is horizontal. It’s not the same body as the body on the couch. It’s half in light and half in darkness. Equally. Horizontally. With darkness above it.
Jack: And I think what’s very significant is you’re able to speak about that without disturbing the perception. It takes time and practice to be able to do that.
Alfred: Yes. [pause]
There is a clear sense of a need to let go further to allow the body to completely transform. And some trepidation, reluctance in the chest area. It seems to hold back. No, maybe it’s the opposite; maybe something is waking up in the chest.
Now there seems to be a very strong sensation at the top of the head and in the solar plexus as if there’s a kind of communication that’s being established between these two centers.
Alfred: It seems as though the floating body is gaining in substance.
A new kind of confidence is not rushing and is letting the process really take whatever time it takes. [pause]
The heaven above reminds me of a very deep blue like before sunset, before it gets completely dark. Very alive. I’m clearly part of that. It feels I belong in that medium. [pause]
There’s no fear. [intonation of surprise or wonder]
There’s a kind of trust in waiting which is a new experience.
Jack: Yes, and it’s good there’s no fear. That’s been a real obstacle before.
Alfred: Yes. [pause]
I glimpse occasionally how fear doesn’t belong in an experience like that. But it’s more a lack of skill, a lack of familiarity that is creating the fear. Fear is not from within that experience. It’s quite natural to be open to this kind of influence. [pause]
It’s almost like I’m identifying all the natural organs or apparatuses that are there for the purpose of transitioning to a different body, a different way of being. And a question is really emerging about the aim of that. And with that, in a natural way, it progresses to a more and more sincere question about guidance, about a wish to serve this… to put this state at the service of something that is necessary. So I’m asking for guidance or a guide to…
Jack: …yes, that’s good…
Alfred: …to help, because otherwise it can be lost on some kind of titillation rather than serving something for which it is designated and is necessary.
Jack: I’m reminded of the time you were told by one of the blue beings, “I can’t meet you unless you at least come to here.”
Jack: It’s very good that you’re asking again right here specifically.
Alfred: It’s very close to exactly what I was feeling. Have I gone as far as I need to? Have I made enough of a journey so that I can honestly and sincerely ask for help? [pause]
There’s a feeling that begins to awaken in the contact with a profound lack. [pause] I’m being shown how the holding in my back, in areas of the body where I wasn’t aware that there were certain tensions and how a kind of grasping are the obstacles that must be let go of. [pause]
Hmm. A light is beginning to come in. It’s like a whole different level of emptiness. It is necessary to receive that. [pause]
It’s interesting that, while I wasn’t considering myself empty enough, a light is being received as if it’s more available and generous than I would have expected. It almost feels like it is searching me more than I am searching for it. [pause]
It’s now that the breathing begins to be important. [pause]
The head vibrates strongly. [long pause]
I saw someone in a crimson gown… a gown, a robe… shimmering… approaching… It’s like a meeting point of three dimensions. Just on that point I see it. At a distance but approximating a point where the three dimensions of the cube meet.
It’s kind of identical to the image of Jesus in Toledo cathedral, except that it looks alive. [pause]
It feels like a very steep kind of way to get to him – those dimensional lines… inside a cube… With him at one corner. [pause]
It’s interesting that my feet seem to be not my feet. They have sandals. Like Biblical sandals. I see the edges of a white robe that I’m wearing – it has a gold margin on it.
Jack: As if as you proceed the vision becomes clearer – you see more.
Alfred: Yes. Something begins to become more concentrated in the experience.
Very different feet. Feet that are calloused and used to walking on rocks.
Jack: Used in a very different way than the current ones.
Alfred: Yes. It’s as if I’m carrying something. [intonation of surprise] I’m really going to focus on the sensation.
Jack: Yes. Just concentrate on the sensation I would say. [pause]
Alfred: The progression towards the Jesus person in the crimson robes – luminous – is very specifically, very precisely downwards, as if I’m descending from a mountain. My feet are very skilled in following some kind of track, a trail that is not very well marked with rocks. It’s desert type of place. I have a very strong impulse to say it’s Mount Sinai, Jebel Musa. I feel a kind of familiarity with that scenery. Almost a kind of coming down with the tablets from the mountain… the mind is kind of…
Jack: Yes, the mind may provide that but you have the sensation of carrying something nevertheless, right?
Alfred: Something is carried and it’s carried very carefully and precisely. Great responsibility to bring it down to that person who expects me at the end of that cube.
Jack: Ah! So there’s still a sense of the cube?
Alfred: Yes. It feels like moving inside a dimension of time. Like the all-quarter-maintainer of that particular quarter of the universe.
The body feels very strong and sure of its footing.
It’s a white robe that wraps my head as well. I sense that.
Jack: Yes, you need those kind of clothes in that environment. [pause]
Alfred: It seems like what I’m carrying is more like a body of someone, something. Feelings begin to come. Feelings of sadness, deep sadness. Someone who I care deeply about may have passed – the one I’m carrying. It could be a younger person, a child; it could be another adult.
And are you carrying it towards this other figure?
Alfred: Yes. I say a Jesus-type figure. I am serving in some way. There is a clear intention. I am bringing it to him for a particular ritual or procedure – something that is essential to provide a safe passage for that spirit.
Failing is not an option. No matter how long the path is. The feet are sure. There’s a certain wisdom or skillfulness in the body that knows exactly what needs to happen. And how I need to bring that body before him.
Alfred: There’s a stronger vibration and light as I approach. There is great grief. Perhaps a child. My images go ahead of my words.
Alfred: I’m seeing the images. The child is being laid down on the altar. The child body.
His eyes turn to me… Jesus’ eyes… that holy person’s eyes turn towards me with this compassion, deep compassion. [voice shaking] It pierces my heart. All three are so one. [pause]
There’s a simultaneous complete clarity about the need to let go of that boy and complete confidence that his passage will be assured in some way. All the hopes and all the love that I have for this child have to be let go. [crying]
I’m able to stay with that, thanks to this ongoing look that keeps me right there on that spot. [pause]
The solidity of the body of that child seems lessened… more and more… gradually it vanishes in a natural way. The altar seems to be empty.
I’m given so much and so much is taken at the same time.
It’s letting the heart remain open. [pause]
I see that the memory of that look is almost replacing that look of the Christ, of that sacred individual. As if I still cling to that and as if something is being instructed. It’s available to you only when everything else is lost. And now you don’t need that. It’s like calling it in vain. In vain.
Jack: So that’s a specific instruction.
Jack: Very clear. And reduces in no way the value of what you received.
Alfred: No. Not at all. It even amplifies it. Clarifying when it’s available and when it’s not. What the conditions are under which this benevolence, this benediction is there for me. [pause]
It feels like I’m gradually coming down from that experience in a very particular way. With a… coming up… It’s not clear but… This is like… a shell of this body that needs to be tended to and carried along although it’s not where life resides. This is not what is alive. But it needs to be carried around and… although, in spite of the fact that life, prior to this, has lost its purpose. [intonation of depression] It cannot be about what it was prior to what I just experienced. There’s a reluctance. There’s an agony about the lost contact with the source.
Jack: Do you want to ask for some guidance about that?
Please. Show yourself to me. I can’t go on. [pause]
I receive help. The pain I took for estrangement is the connection. So clearly. [pause]
What a gift!
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, In the Situation Room, Dark Blue Stellar Material, A Luminous Source, Where Life Resides.