[Standard induction; suggestion to visit an initial “safe place.”]
[Note regarding toxins: Earlier in her life, Nadyezhda experienced exposure to corrosive chemicals that were similar in effect to the napalm used in Vietnam. And currently she is also working to release heavy metal toxins from vaccines. Her father was an American soldier in Vietnam.]
Jack: So, Nadyezhda, maybe you could say where you find yourself to be right now.
Nadyezhda: I’m sitting on the side of the waterfall in the Alps where I was last year. The sky is blue. And I hear the roar of the waterfall and the intense energy of the air around the waterfall. I’m alone but I’m not alone – there are no people – but I’m with nature.
Jack: Yes. So you feel that connection to the natural world.
Jack: Because of the waterfall and its power. It’s good to stay there at the beginning. Great beginning! To be there in that very special environment. Especially being aware of the quality of the energy that’s coming from the waterfall. And you’re close enough that some of that atmosphere can be breathed in; some of it can just influence you from a distance. It’s good to be under the influence of that. It has an impact on the body and on the mind as well. Being there and feeling that something is beginning to take place as a result of that choice of place which of course is entirely from your own subconscious mind – it chose to begin there. It’s a good place to begin in order to establish a kind of ground, a kind of solidity to whatever we might go on to next.
Nadyezhda: Yes, it can wash everything away. The toxins, the old black stuff. It’s a spiritual energy too.
Jack: Do you get any closer to the waterfall? What happens next?
Nadyezhda: I’ve gone into the water. How could I resist?
Jack: Ah, that’s what I was hoping. So then it’s literal that something is being washed away? Actual.
Nadyezhda: In many ways – washing it away. [big breath out]
Jack: Good to feel the materiality of that – that actual substances are being washed away from you. Especially the current detox you’re doing right now. But perhaps others too; some that are perhaps still unknown, that need to depart. Of course that waterfall is capable of that. There’s a lot of force in the water. Strength is there. And the water is very alive; full of energy. [pause]
Taking your time. Some other important change may take place. [pause]
There also needs to be a sufficient amount of time for that process of cleansing to be accomplished.
Nadyezhda: And it’s nice – it’s not only the water, but it’s the light reflecting in the water droplets.
Nadyezhda: So it’s a light infusion.
Jack: Yes. Each drop has its own light.
And I think you can feel as well that the penetration is very deep – even though you have skin and so forth, the light can penetrate very deeply into the body, into the cellular structures of the body so that there’s a cleansing taking place throughout the whole physical body.
Nadyezhda: I’m sitting there by the waterfall but the waterfall is the length of the mountain. And I’m thinking that my body is small but the higher levels of my being are as long as the waterfall, as tall as the mountain. And it’s washing through all the layers.
And, of course it’s vertical so from the top to the bottom, to the root.
Jack: Yes, I think it’s good that you feel that all the different layers of the body – even those that are energetic – those that have connections to the spiritual parts we were speaking of before the session – all those parts are being touched in this process.
Nadyezhda: And all the toxins, whether literal or metaphorical, when they’re washed out they are reclaimed by the earth. The earth can process them.
Jack: Yes. Substances are being returned to where they belong – in the earth instead of in your body. [pause]
Let’s just see what the next important thing is that needs to appear. Although we don’t want to rush the process either – it may take some time to actually complete it because this has been a long-standing issue with your body – the toxins have been very deeply embedded. It can take some time to change the etheric structures behind the physical so that any kind of scar tissue has the potential to be re-formed as the body replaces cells in the natural process of living.
Nadyezhda: Yes, all of the tissues can be re-claimed and re-oriented on the energetic level.
Jack: Yes, exactly. Sometimes it’s helpful to be aware of the breathing because there is a kind of transformation connected to that circulation. This circle of contact with inside and outside. The breathing in of material from the outside and the breathing out of toxins and anything that doesn’t belong.
Nadyezhda: I feel it’s important to move on.
Jack: Yes, I think we need to keep going. I just didn’t want to rush that process.
I think it would be good to move on to some other element that is also needing information, or some new point of view.
At the beginning I asked that we have some help from other levels – it could be now that there would be someone or something that would appear to show some of the next steps that Nadyezhda needs to engage in in this life that’s unfolding. In the area of being in different places, in the area of professional work – there are several areas. Let’s just see if you could feel that a transition is being made now to something else that needs to be seen or experienced. One, two, three.
Nadyezhda: I start to get a sense of the obstacles. The energetic imprint of obstacles. And then the waterfall can wash them away. And that’s good.
But then there’s a hawk circling on the mountainside. He’s going around. Maybe the hawk can lead me somewhere.
Jack: Yes, you might want to address him.
Nadyezhda: Can this be the kind of hawk that you use for hunting?
“I’ll come and sit on your hand and then we’ll find…”
Well, I won’t ask this hawk to hunt a fox for me but we’ll go somewhere.
Jack: Yes, you can use him to help you go somewhere. Absolutely.
Jack: Yes and the hawk has a reputation to be able to see very far and clearly.
Nadyezhda: What a nice thing.
So then I’m asking him, “Can I hang onto your claws while we fly down the mountainside?” And I think we can do that.
Jack: Sure. He can carry you. [pause]
So let’s just see where he takes you. What needs to be seen and experienced?
Nadyezhda: I think we’re going back to this little house that was in a previous session. It was also in the Alps but in Switzerland. We’re going back to this little log cabin where I would have a fire in front of the cabin.
I’m going into the cabin.
I feel like there’s a dark person in the cabin. He’s there. He was there in the last session but we went in a different direction last time. And now there’s this dark figure again.
Jack: Well, see how you feel. Maybe it’s time to have a meeting with that dark character. Just see what feels right.
Nadyezhda: I feel like it might be my father. He was a pretty dark character.
Jack: There may be some exchange necessary in order to settle some old business. And you know that you’re protected so you can have an exchange.
Nadyezhda: I ask the hawk to wait for me outside the cabin on a stand. I’m anxious for him; like he lives with me.
Then I can go into the cabin and I’m supposed to have a dialogue with this person.
I say to my unconscious, “Well, just show me a way.
Jack: Yes. Just ask.
Nadyezhda: So now I have to have a dialogue with a shadow. He’s a shadow. He’s like a ghost. He’s not himself. Because his soul was taken away in Vietnam. He’s a hungry ghost.
[big sigh] OK. I’m face to face with a hungry ghost. But I’m not afraid and I have resources and I have dialogue.
Nadyezhda: My hawk is waiting for me.
Now I have to ask why are we here and what needs to happen.
Jack: You’re operating from a very different place from what the shadow is. You have resources. There may be something you can do to help this hungry ghost be less hungry or to move on in some way.
Nadyezhda: I feel like it’s a profound ghost. It’s not only my father. It’s also parts of myself. It’s also people in Vietnam. Who were murdered. Children. All of this history. Like the girl with napalm. I was the girl with napalm. [referring to her accident with corrosive chemicals]
Jack: So just ask for whatever helpful resource is appropriate and needed by you in this situation – not just what concerns your father. Sometimes a way of visualizing it is a line of people who were subjected to the same thing. So there’s an actual line of connections and once some healing begins to take place in one part of the line it can spread to others. You don’t have to heal the whole line but you can heal a part. And the natural person is your father whom you have a connection with. At least starting there something can begin to change.
Nadyezhda: I light an oil lamp. That helps.
Jack: Good. Excellent.
Nadyezhda: Yes, I can start to feel the suffering.
Jack: Bringing light to the situation is what is needed.
Nadyezhda: Because it’s dark inside the cabin, it’s a shadowy energy so the light there helps.
Maybe I can say an incantation again to dispel all the suffering.
Nadyezhda: It’s a lot of suffering. The pain – things that have happened that are unresolved. The damages are lingering. [big sigh] And it’s shared – it’s not only one person. But my father’s there – he’s the physical manifestation of all of this. He’s the ghost I see sitting in front of me.
Jack: Something is needed to begin to dissipate this suffering. See what it is that you’re provided with. [pause]
Nadyezhda: Well, the first thing I do is make a food offering. Like the Chinese offer food at the hungry ghost festival. I’m putting out a little cake. He can’t eat it because he’s a ghost but it’s an energetic offering.
Jack: Yes, it’s an energetic offering.
Nadyezhda: I can light more candles. I can light a hundred candles at once.
On my side of the room the candles are all around me and behind me. On the other side of the room where he’s sitting, all is dark. My side is all light and the other half is all dark.
Jack: Maybe you need to invite him into the light…
Nadyezhda: Maybe. We’ll see.
I think I have to intensify the light… And the warmth.
Ah! [big breath] Now the people from Vietnam are there in the room too. They need to be brought to the light.
He never told us what he did. He never told us. It doesn’t matter but…
Jack: But you’re seeing it…
Nadyezhda: The other ghosts are there; even the napalm girl from the pictures. And I see another man, an adult man. I’m apologizing – in whatever capacity I can. I’m apologizing and I make the offering to them too.
My father is sitting down. He’s so blank. He’s so not there. I can almost feel more the humanity of this girl and the man who are there. And so my intention is more with them.
Nadyezhda: I feel I can embrace the girl, and console her, make her feel better. Yes, these other people are communicating with me more. They’re talking with me. I don’t know what they’re saying but they’re giving me their attention. My father is just not there. He’s gone. All gone. But they are trying to reach me.
Nadyezhda: I’m just trying to soothe that girl.
Jack: That’s good. She needs that. Yes.
Nadyezhda: And I give her a cake to eat because she’s still more like a human and not a ghost. She can eat it. I stroke her hair and hold her.
Nadyezhda: [big breath] I can see the napalm burns on her back. I put my hands on them.
Jack: And she’s responding to you?
Nadyezhda: This is what she wants. Yes. She doesn’t say anything but she’s there.
Jack: Yes, but you can feel her feelings…
Nadyezhda: I’m healing her. [pause]
The man might be her father. He’s gesturing for her to go to me. [pause]
I’m healing her napalm injuries.
Jack: Yes, it’s very important to have that healing because otherwise the scarring continues.
Nadyezhda: [big breath] She’s iconic. It’s the twentieth century – all this kind of hell that everyone went through – my family in the twentieth century – all that is there.
Jack: Yes, that’s a good way to look at it – iconic. So you’re really healing an archetype.
Nadyezhda: It’s good. I feel the healing occurring.
It is something that is reflected in me, but it’s not just me. It’s a bigger thing.
Jack: Yes, I think it is.
I think maybe it is part of the repair of the energetic envelope of the Earth.
Nadyezhda: Yes. [pause]
[big breath] Well, she’s being healed. I can see more and more the injuries disappearing. I feel the heart energy.
Jack: You can feel that between you, right?
Nadyezhda: Yes. I’m giving that to her. That’s why her father brought her here. It was for this.
I can give him a cake as well. He doesn’t need so much from me but I’m holding his hand and giving him the offering.
I think when she’s better she can just go outside and play. Be a child again.
I think the process with her is complete. More or less.
Jack: Yes, it feels that way.
Nadyezhda: I just ask her father if he has something to say.
I think she’s eight years old. That’s all I know. I just see her black hair. So then I ask her father something. [pause]
It’s good and it’s also telling me yes I can heal someone. That I’m capable.
Jack: Is there anything more that needs to be done with your father?
Nadyezhda: I don’t know yet. I think I’m still talking to this other man.
Jack: OK. Fine.
Nadyezhda: I’m holding his hand and asking him if there is something else.
I just got an image of an airplane going over the jungle spraying DDT all over. My father was exposed to that too. I think the man says that we need to heal the jungle – maybe that’s what it is too. “That’s my home; we should heal the jungle.”
I’m asking him – well, I can hold your daughter but then can I hold the jungle? How can we do it? [chuckles]
Jack: See what comes…
Nadyezhda: He gives me an orange fruit. It’s spiny. It’s not a fruit that I know. It’s orange, it can fit in my hand, it’s round. It has little soft spikes on it.
I feel like I tell him – I want to and I don’t know how but at some point in the future I will know how. I’m not ready for that part but I take the little orange fruit from him and that’s something I’ll keep with me for the next stage. I don’t know what it is yet.
It’s also a flower. It’s a fruit and a flower at the same time. Like a little flame. I say thank you to him. The girl went outside. I think that’s all that I have with him. He’s smiling. I’m happy I can restore something to them.
Nadyezhda: So… my father is still sitting there. He’s still blank.
It’s easier for me to cope with him as a ghost than a real person because he was harmful. He was really toxic. He was really toxic. But it’s not all his fault. I mean everything was done to him.
So I just sit there and I ask what needs to happen.
Nadyezhda: But now where the two people were [the girl and her father] – they were on his side of the room and they were in the darkness – now that they’re healed and they have left the cabin there is light there. There is orange light where they were before. So now there is more light on the other side of the cabin.
I’m trying to grow the orange light, make it stronger. [big breath out] [pause]
The color orange – that’s the right healing color for this situation: warmth and communication. [big breath out]
I get a sense that he’s coming alive a little bit and that I would be able to talk to him. Part of me doesn’t want to talk to him and has blocked him out completely. Completely shut the door. But, I don’t know; there’s a little communication now.
He has a lead quality. [the metal lead]
I’m asking for the light to grow and wash away the deadness, the leadenness.
I feel he should say something to me but also I don’t want to even listen to him.
So I tell him, “You know I never wanted to listen to you because you’re so toxic. Why should I listen to you now?”
“I want progress. I want to heal and move ahead.”
Nadyezhda: But I feel there’s a progression… There’s a yellow coming into the field around where he’s sitting, going through his person. Orange is coming up brighter. [big breath out]
Jack: Well, it’s that progress in the light that’s important not the words he could or couldn’t say to you.
Nadyezhda: [big breath out] I think I have a hard time listening to him even if he has a message.
But I ask him if he wants a cake. He says yes and he takes it. I think he needs it.
This is a hard thing – the hardness of not feeling compassion because you’ve been hurt too much. That’s falling away a little bit.
I also want to tell him, “Just take it and go away.”
So I’m telling him, “If you can act like a person I will listen to you. Stop acting like a monster and I will listen to you.” [pause] [big breath out]
He’s coming alive a little bit with the yellow light and the cake.
And he’s not so much a ghost but I see both images flickering in and out of each other – the ghost and the person.
Maybe I don’t need to confront him myself or do anything personally. I can just ask the light to take the proper course.
Jack: Yes, I think that’s sensible.
Nadyezhda: Just tell it to do what it should do because it’s not about me.
Now the light is coming into the other side of the room. On his right side. White and yellow. And he’s still just sitting there in that chair.
I’m just asking the light to fill the room. [pause]
I feel like I’m almost done.
Jack: Yes, I don’t think we should go on too much longer. There’s an awful lot that has taken place. And you have the room almost completely bright now so… Maybe something now can be just left up to him.
Nadyezhda: I feel that there’s the part of him that’s the ghost and that will be just washed away by the light. Maybe there’s a person who can be there, who can stay but the ghost is going into the white light and disappearing.
Jack: I think you can withdraw.
Nadyezhda: I’ll just make a prayer, a general prayer for hungry ghosts to be taken back into the light. And that’s it. Things are dissolving; being resolved. The light is circulating everywhere. That part wasn’t something for me to do by myself I guess.
Jack: Yes, it’s been done by a higher power.
Do you want to have some contact with your hawk? Maybe just say goodbye.
Nadyezhda: Yes. He’s waiting outside.
I set up the fire inside the cabin.
And maybe I need a break so I can take a little cake for myself.
I go outside and the girl is playing outside and the father is happy again.
The hawk is there and so I’ll just take my hawk on my right hand and triumphantly ride into the forest.
The dark little cabin has been transformed into a place of healing.
I am grateful.
[We exit the altered state of consciousness.]