Alfred: More and more sensitive to the level of tensions – all over – layer upon layer of tension.
Jack: Yes, they really accumulate unnoticed. [pause]
Alfred: They act like a shell, preventing something finer from penetrating. They are experienced as a kind of barrier.
Jack: Still, it’s amazing how much knowledge has accumulated through the experience of working with that over many years.
Alfred: What is interesting is that the experience of the tension as barriers is a particular property of the mind because already there is a certain inkling of a much wider field of experience in which the tensions are just a part, and not a very important part, of that larger field. So there’s no need to insist on anything but instead just allow the experience to be something that gradually includes more. [pause]
I’m allowing different fragments to come and fall away. There’s a need for a further concentration.
Jack: Yes, it seems that often there is that stage of something fragmentary that has to be passed through.
Alfred: There is definitely a growing simultaneity of the body lying down here on my couch – my ordinary body – and at the same time a deepening of the sensitivity that is atemporal – an awareness of some action or participation in an entirely different sphere of the universe. [pause]
It’s the second time now today that I’m experiencing the breath as a very precious nutrient. An organism that is very tender. And this breath has a materiality that is very different from my ordinary experience of the air. And in moments when the breath is taking in that quality, I am filled with great gratitude.
There is a kind of growing awareness that there’s an intelligence that is providing these nutrients. It’s not that abstract. It’s almost like there might be intelligent beings on the other side whom I am not yet perceiving. The breath experienced this way is just the visible part right now – the way it enters, the way it’s received – but the origin is what brings that feeling of gratitude – almost as if I am in touch with the source of what is being provided.
Jack: Yes, but it’s interesting that you sense the intelligence of that as distinct from your own composition.
Alfred: Yes, entirely. [pause]
Jack: And how that intelligence has its own specific quality. [long pause]
Alfred: Something needs to be very active in that perception of the difference – discerning that quality of intelligence that is not mine.
Jack: Yes. I think it’s a delicate balance.
Alfred: I was just caught by… I noticed some sleepiness and was startled by how I had drifted. But the connection is still here.
Jack: Good. [long pause]
Alfred: The body is much more porous now. It feels stellar… It’s porous in such a way that it’s like a collection of stars and particles that are related but very lightly. In between them there’s dark space. The form of what I call my body is so loosely held together that it’s more space than material substance. [pause]
Perhaps there’s the beginning of a direction. A movement. There’s an awareness that within this highly vibratory space that I have become, there’s even a more intense pulsation. It’s like a beam that begins to attract the wish to follow it, to become part of it. [pause]
There’s a need to be very active that every once in a while weakens but then it’s right there again, accessible. I’m aware of a certain fear, or a certain hesitation in joining that high intensity beam. It was as if I was consulting with someone about the advisability of following it. It was a manifestation of perhaps some fear, or…
Jack: A part of yourself?
Alfred: Yes, some difficulty of letting go – I think along the solar plexus.
There’s still some grasping onto whatever form has remained of whatever I was. But there’s a renewed attraction to a light source. It’s like an attraction to truth. And it’s clearly a movement up that I am attracted to. [pause]
Hmm. It’s like there are lights above but it is dark all around. In a way, I’m coming from the depths of something like water, at nighttime. I’m seeing lights on the surface but the movement is not compelling. We’ve had this before; there’s a certain propulsion that is intimately related to the breath. With each breath, there’s a certain progression toward a surface that is more and more illuminated. [pause]
I’m surfacing in what appears to be an underground lake, similar to the lake that I saw in one of those deep caves in the Pyrenees at Ariège.
Something was formed earlier and I seemed to have surfaced out of this water or this liquid, which is very dark, into what might be a new body. [pause]
The cave, which is immense, is illuminated with a sourceless light. I wish to say I’ve been expected but I’m not yet clear about who or what was expecting me. [long pause]
This form of breathing returns more strongly and compellingly, and with it something begins to concentrate in my visual perception regarding the activity around me. Beings seem to appear out of a blur that before was not yet clear enough or my vision was not yet formed enough to make them out. But there’s definitely a lot of activity. Beings moving here and there. That cave is like a dome, a huge dome – a whole world under the ground.
These beings have bodies that are – I’m not sure… I think they’re blue – extremely smooth and almost porous or transparent so that there’s a certain freedom in their movement. [pause]
I can see how the difficulty in clear perception is nothing to do with what is presented but with the limitations of my capacity to perceive, to trust these new, emerging faculties. I give myself to this perception. [pause]
It seems like I’m either brought or I’m proceeding toward some kind of base – an elevated kind of platform. Perhaps I’m guided or taken towards it.
A glimpse of a very dignified personage – much taller, in a white and gold robe or gown of that domain. An incredibly benevolent look towards me.
I’m deeply moved by the care and love that is being shown towards me.
The beings around me seem to be supporting me physically. Somehow I need to receive whatever it is that is being received through that look, through that presence. Because it feels as if [cough] I lack the strength as yet to support my own weight. [pause]
That cough brought a sharp pain in the chest area. So I was a bit startled. But I find myself settling back to experience, into the warmth of that look. [pause]
It’s so clear that what is required is to experience the body as vibratory. And when that is possible, there is a great clarity in relation to this high priest and what his intention is towards my being. [pause]
It feels like my body is being coated by layers that are progressively less vibratory but the core is still very sensitive.
It becomes more and more difficult to stay true to that vibration and that wish that is still infusing the core of this being – this being that is me. As if the mass of the materiality of the layers that are being accumulated begins to have an opaqueness and weight and density.
There is a kind of a question that is inchoate, like a wish, something like: “Could you, please, implant some of that light source in me.”
There is a response that is obvious – almost as if he is responding to my wish with, “You just don’t perceive it. It’s there already and has been there all along. You don’t need to wish or ask for it because it’s there.”
There’s a certain relief in the ability now not to hold onto him in such a frantic way, such a clinging way.
I’m not yet entirely trusting that source inside. Almost wishing to… almost like a kind of a comparison… the experience of him, the experience of me… the source that… I have no name for it other than another sun.
Part of me still feels like he is the real source. He is really… [chuckling] He really will not let that go by. He is really intent on prevailing upon me so that I understand that I have all that is necessary to not be entirely swept away or overwhelmed by the materiality of the body that now seems to have its own life.
It’s a human form.
There’s a gradual fading of his presence. Tremendous sadness comes in.
Jack: Yes. Of course.
Alfred: Kind of a fake darkness and despair.
Jack: But his message was clear – that you need to look within – to the light.
Alfred: Yes. But there’s a certain refusal. Almost out of spite.
Jack: [chuckling] Well… It is a human body after all… that’s very human.
Alfred: [also chuckling] Right!
There’s still light and there’s a certain kind of lightness at the core – a vibration that is finer at the core. It is diminishing as one proceeds more toward the edges of the body – the skin and beyond. Yes. It is there. There’s a particle that vibrates at the center. It’s very clear now. Around the solar plexus. And it is no different from the source.
The body that has been so spread out and spacious is still that way and, at the same time, it is beginning to take the form that is lying down here. [pause]
Hmm. I am becoming aware of two sources of high vibration – the third eye and the solar plexus – both places are vibrating very strongly.
Very bright white light. The shape, the form, of the body is very secondary to that vibration. [pause]
Jack: Yes. That feels very true. I hear it in my voice but it’s hard to keep the mind at bay – because it doubts.
Alfred: And it’s very interesting that the mind is surprised by that statement but from within that state – the super natural state of matter and vibrations. The surprise and the doubt is only coming from that other layer because we are transitioning.
Jack: Yes. That other layer. So it’s important to be clear, it seems, about the layers and their relationship to each other – not to be caught in any one of them.
Alfred: Exactly. They are like shells for protection but they are not essential. They are there to provide whatever is required to survive in this environment where we find ourselves.
There’s great freedom in that.
And there’s also a certain gratitude that the shell of layers is available. [pause]
Jack: Yes. Those layers are a very intelligent design.
[The session ends but the following short exchange afterwards was interesting.]
Alfred: I think it’s very important not to talk too much about what just happened.
Jack: Yes, that’s good.
And also our recording is at 59 minutes. There’s something about an hour somehow, for us humans, that is very natural.
Alfred: Those beings I guess are taking into consideration our time calculation.
Jack: Somehow I guess, yes. It’s strange.
Well, I think there’s a capacity, a human capacity, that is related to an hour of time on this planet. On another planet maybe it would be different…
Alfred: Right. It’s a fraction of a fraction of something that is organic to the movement of the planet around the sun.
Jack: And the revolution of the planet.
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul.