Alfred: There’s a gradual letting go. Letting something else take over.
Jack: Yes, I feel that there’s a particular feeling associated with that – like a fitting into something that’s right and just.
Alfred: It’s very specific to the area of the heart or the solar plexus.
Jack: Yes. [pause]
Alfred: There’s a feeling like one would have when the first light is showing at the horizon on a very dark night. Relief is part of that. [pause]
The first instinct I have, the first image is that the light is coming in gradually over a huge battlefield. I’m seeing the aftermath – bodies are strewn here and there. It’s a very flat surface, a very flat landscape. Very quiet. Nothing is moving. My mind is trying to identify this and that. [pause]
Massive numbers of casualties. Seen from afar. Because of the flatness there is no ending.
Jack: It just goes on and on?
Alfred: Yes. Your voice reflected a certain horror and I notice a certain horror in myself now. It’s not a modern battlefield. It feels more historical. There are reds and blues, uniforms. Not sure if opposing sides or different ranks of the same side. The equipment seems to be horses and carts.
It’s a kind of bird’s eye view – as if I haven’t yet settled into that place or maybe that’s not my place… Maybe I’m a bird. Maybe…
Jack: Maybe you’re just observing or maybe you’ve passed.
Alfred: It’s super quiet so it feels more like taking a survey and I’m not subjected to sounds or smells. Smoke seems to be billowing in different parts.
There’s no end to it. There’s a part of me that wants to see the delimitations, the boundaries, wishing for it to be over and it’s not. It’s a bird’s eye view, an aircraft view, but an entirely quiet aircraft that is carrying me, surveying a whole planet that is strewn with bodies.
Jack: A whole planet!
Alfred: There’s no limit to that. It keeps on going. There’s no end to it.
Mountains are now appearing on the horizon. Bluish grey in the distance. I seem to be approaching them. Very rugged. Looking very uninhabited. Strange. There are what looks like dark spots, probably deep caves. I’m still seeing this from above.
It seems someone is signaling. It’s a blue brother signaling a landing place in front of one of those places. Yes. I think we’re coming down for a landing.
There is a large square or flat surface in the mountains at the mouth of one of those large caves. I noticed just that one being, but I think he is part of a group, part of a landing crew guiding craft to that place. [pause]
Jack: So have you landed now?
Alfred: Yes and there’s a feeling of rejoining a group around some kind of briefing table in the depths of the cave. The place seems to be like a labyrinth, or a complex structure in which there are different spaces for meetings and equipment.
It looks like I might be making my report on what I’ve just seen. [pause]
There’s a feeling that something is incomplete… or that there’s dissatisfaction with the report. Because the purpose was not to just survey but to find some lost kin on that surface who so far have not been found.
There’s an atmosphere of concern which is curiously not about the scene but more about the missing kin.
I feel I’m told that I haven’t searched in the proper way. That there was a certain superficiality to my search. That I haven’t used a certain capacity to find those kin. There’s a sense of – not dread maybe – but perhaps of knowing that I have to go back and deepen something in my search. That with those bodies and that devastation, I need to be looking deeper into each of those casualties. That some of them may have been our kin and I’ve overlooked them. Something like that.
Jack: Does it have to do with the fact that you reacted to the devastation?
Alfred: That’s interesting. Yes, that seems to be right. As if I’m corrected or instructed about how the reaction may have obscured the true purpose of my mission. [pause]
The kind of feeling I get is that I don’t want to do this any more. [Jack chuckles] I don’t want to go back there and face it. There’s a kind of benevolent guide or authority figure there who is smiling, just like you did, telling me “I understand.” I mean this is not something to be ashamed of – that feeling is acknowledged and respected and yet it’s clear that I have a task to complete.
I see how easy it is for the mind to be mobilized to flash back and scour the images of the survey for hints on how useless that is and how there’s a need for a different source, a different orientation to the whole search.
Jack: You need to allow yourself to be touched by it?
Alfred: Yes. To penetrate that reality it’s insufficient to fly over it.
Jack: You have to be on the ground.
Alfred: That’s right. And I must identify that fear of being on the ground as not real.
What is not real is being identified with it.
There’s a comfort in knowing I’m now with the others who I sense are close to me, walking that flat field
Jack: So you’re not alone.
Alfred: No, no. There’s like a chain of us. All blue beings. I’m saying it with some degree of confidence although I’m not looking sideways
Jack: No, you just know that, right?
Alfred: I just know that. I feel the contact on both sides as we are advancing along the field. It’s like a search party. We’re not actually touching each other but there’s a sense of no gaps in the way we are searching this field now.
Alfred: I’m listening for a signal. It begins to matter for me, in a feeling way, in a very different way than it was before. That feeling of proximity and anticipation of an encounter. [pause]
It’s very clear that the priority is on my state and not anymore on the search. And the trust that my state will be corresponding to this. There’s a trust that what needs to be found will be found. So it’s not in the search but in the listening.
Jack: Yes. It’s an inner movement, right?
Alfred: Yes, exactly. [pause]
There is a certain awareness that the whole configuration of the brain has gone through a radical transformation – almost seeing a kind of completion of circuitry.
Alfred: A change in the light. There’s a light that is now present. [pause]
It seems as though we’re entering a cave or an area where we’ve been expected by kin who are there. There is a sourceless light which is just like a substance that allows me to perceive those kin who have been living in this cave. It seems like there is an elder, a person of authority, who seems to be delighted or welcoming. I’m part of a group who is receiving this warm reception. There’s a totally unrushed quality to this. No panic, no urgency.
There’s an odd little snippet of a particular rock or crystal that they put next to a larger crystal trusting that it will be safe to be with that larger one. That’s what all of us are doing. Something is relinquished. The larger crystal is radiant and the other crystals, as each one is put there, becomes part of the larger crystal and merges into it. This is in a niche or alcove in the cave. It may be an altar and it seems to be a place of great significance. A very strong and powerful light vibration is coming from that source. It seems to dissolve everyone and everything. An incredibly high light vibration. [pause]
It seems as though the direction is quite the opposite to what I originally expected which was to fetch people or beings and bring them to a different place. It seems more like a transition into becoming part of that place that we’ve arrived at, that we belong to now.
Alfred: This is a place of our being. Not necessarily in our current form. It’s not clear that we have… I’m not dissolved. There’s still a sense of being but also a sense of being merged with that entity, that crystal. [pause]
An awareness now of how this experience will come to an end and the change of state will cast doubt on whatever was received as a kind of teaching instead of trusting the reality of the participation. I’m being given help to face the doubts that are lawfully going to come as this state dissipates.
There’s a certain reinforcement of certain aspects of this scene. Such as the battlefield. A kind of flashback that affirms its reality.
The altar – I’m more clearly calling it an altar now – with its crystal. It is of a very distinct shape and more important perhaps are the features and the face of the elder – a face of total benevolence. I’m not perceiving his face with my ordinary segmented perception – it’s a feeling perception. So the content of my mind, which wants to identify it as terrestrial or not, identify it as this or that, is cast aside as irrelevant. The feeling is similar to the feeling of the presence of the other teachers in previous sessions. [pause]
It seems like whatever is outside – whether that’s the actual planet or location where the battle, the devastation was, or… There’s a feeling that we are part of that planet and that location and that there will be a long time for us to be there. That whatever needs to be repaired or replanted or reseeded – there’s no end to the task at hand – it’s just that we need to be there for that. The kind of feeling that accompanies that is a certain gravity, perhaps a little doubt or something similar to whether we’re up to it or not. It feels like there’s a great sacrifice in accepting to be there and giving up perhaps being where it’s more natural for us as beings to reside.
Jack: The sadness is for the senseless of the destruction not for your having to stay for a long time, right?
Alfred: Yes. But there is that quality of the task at hand.
It’s like I’m occupying this intermediate position between there still being a residue of identification with that catastrophe or the devastation and the magnitude of having to replant and reseed this planet. But there’s a part that perhaps is seeing it as another job, another assignment you know. I’m not as connected to that now. I was more connected to the review prior to the return – there, it seemed to be more possible to be free of the identification with that and it seemed like it’s part of a machine that needed to be restored or maintained.
It seemed like I appeared in that council at first prematurely, and I was sent back to complete a task and now I’m accepting that – still with a taste of what I’ve been avoiding. It is not yet entirely accepted and yet it is recognized as a total necessity.
It’s almost impossible to not be horrified every time there’s a flashback to that image, to the reality of that battlefield that has no end.
Jack: So you’re being left with something to work with…
Alfred: Yes, that’s right. That’s the strongest impression I’ve been given.
Very similar to Arjuna and Krishna in the Mahabharata except that he was shown Yama being fed all those warriors and spitting them out. I’m just seeing one small part of that cycle.
I’m opening my eyes.
Jack: Yes, it’s pretty close to our usual ending time.
Alfred: There’s a certain kind of achromatic feel – that’s the truth – that’s the reality here in my location. There’s very little green. It feels very achromatic. The trees and sky are grey.
Whereas the impact of what I just experienced was not achromatic. It was very vivid and very colorful and very curt.
And my experience is probably very true for more than one place on this planet at this very second.
[big breath] Any feelings from your side?
Jack: Well, there’s a feeling about the requirement to not react to the devastation.
Jack: Because there’s a part that doesn’t want the coldness so it’s like a balance that’s required. It’s not a question of becoming cold – although there is a chill – to not react. It’s a kind of balance, kind of a knife-edge of where the feeling needs to be. And somehow a feeling that it’s all very timely, which is not a comfortable feeling.
Alfred: No, it’s not, it’s not. I see exactly where you are pointing. What ordinarily would have registered as indifference is really the expression of impartiality.
Jack: Yes. And acceptance that what you’re looking at is what you’re looking at, without a hint that “It shouldn’t be that way.” Because that’s not the point; the point is: this is what is. It’s very hard for us not to react with, “It shouldn’t be that way.”
Alfred: It shouldn’t be; or you act.
Jack: It just is. And you deal with what is in front of you.
Alfred: And yet there’s a very different kind of fulfillment – it’s not fulfillment – I’m looking for a word – it’s not coming from the reactive part but from the truth of this vision. That the truth has its own purpose.
Alfred: The truthfulness of that and not the action. The action is in the truthfulness of the vision.
It’s actually the lack of success or the correction or the teaching in the session itself that is the teaching – the teaching is within that. I’m shown what is lacking in that approach to that reality. It’s a question of total surrender. And it’s not taught with rebuke but almost cast in the language of inadequacy. It’s not to be judged. Something has not matured enough or not evolved enough.
Jack: Yes, not matured. I think that’s accurate. [pause]
Well… [implication that we’re ending]
Alfred: Yes, let’s see where we emerge next time.
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End.