Alfred: We often speak about the parts as separate but also each part, each center wishes to reunite and senses that possibility. I’m very aware of that now. And the wish to serve as well.
Jack: Yes. And as you say – the relationship among the centers of the planetary body and then the relationship of all that to another level above us that has a finer vibration.
Jack: And I think it’s possible at times to be aware when a new level of vibration enters. Then it’s possible for something else to be supported.
Alfred: Yes, it almost announces itself by a certain clearing in the forehead.
Jack: Yes, that’s been kind of a key hasn’t it? – that area.
Alfred: There’s a certain clarity. Something becomes broader in perspective. [pause]
It’s a very specific – an awareness of something being not quite ready to receive. It doesn’t require action but it does require awareness. A being with.
Jack: Yes, I’m more and more convinced we have to be careful that a kind of impatience doesn’t enter. This was true also with my session with Carlos. We waited 10 minutes before anything was possible. That was a different session and it doesn’t mean it’s the same now but it does require a kind of patience. [pause]
Alfred: There’s a certain way in which the body vanishes – the materiality of the body is no longer its familiar materiality. For a minute it was an empty space as I tried to visualize it in my ordinary way and it was no longer here – almost invisible to ordinary sight. Very interesting and startling. As if it has become much more spiritualized or saturated with… [pause]
Jack: Yes, I think just as the mind, the ordinary associative mind, has to step aside a little, so too does the body. The physical has to do the same. As if the planetary parts have to step aside. [pause]
Alfred: There was a quick perspective of the planet from an elevated point – like a satellite perspective on what appears to be the Earth. Blue oceans and green continents. Almost like a globe.
Jack: Good. We’ve seen a number of times how sometimes you get a quick image. It’s just a brief thing but it’s part of the whole picture.
Alfred: I dismissed it a little bit because it seemed so pristine and so pure. It’s as if the planet had just been created. Tabula rasa. Before calamities, before pollution. As if that’s the precondition.
Jack: I’d just like to point out that it’s possible that it’s the future. We’re so immersed in pessimism.
Alfred: Yes. Yes.
Jack: There are some indications that a real cleanup is going to take place.
Alfred: Yes. We’ve been through a number of cleanups in our sessions.
Jack: Yes. Exactly.
Alfred: But what you just said opened that perspective and seems very valid, very true. [pause]
There’s a kind of an impulse of love that is evoked by that you know.
Alfred: I noticed that.
Jack: Yes, that’s what’s required. Part of what’s required. Or – maybe everything. Maybe that’s all that’s required.
Alfred: There was a certain manifestation of love toward this planet that felt personal in a way. It feels like something needs to deepen around that because the understanding is very partial. [pause]
A very moving and very sad realization. A certain perspective of what appears to be slave boats. As if I’m given to see some ocean crossing boats loaded with slaves. That’s what appeared. Black. African. They look like tribesmen. It’s very hard. It’s from high above. It’s massive traffic. Large ships. People are completely crowding the top decks. I’m not even sure they are sailing ships – they could be rowing vessels. It’s hard to tell. I just saw an ocean with those boats.
And it looks like that corner of west Africa – like Ivory Coast – those places that I know in my mind and I have seen those ports from which the slave ships were launched. [pause]
I only heard my answer to the question about how I have arrived here and I say “by ship.” Also a view as if from a crow’s nest of a ship like that. So it’s not entirely from up above but it now becomes more like as if I’m on a ship in a crow’s nest on one of those slave ships. Or maybe on a different ship but close to that scene.
There is a certain density of grief. And sadness. So dense it is almost unbearable. It surrounds those ships as they travel. It’s like darkness.
Alfred: I’m almost paralyzed by that.
There’s kind of an orientation towards a light – as everything is lost. A kind of refusal to become completely submerged by this darkness and by this dense grief. Something turns to the higher, turns upward. [pause]
I think I was refusing – refusing or skeptical – or on the threshold of actually recognizing that I might be one of those slaves on board. Or one of those people captured. I’m extrapolating from the sense of grief that I’m so immersed in.
Jack: Well, let’s just see what emerges. It will probably become clearer.
Alfred: There was a moment when I was ready to put an end to my life. But I probably couldn’t because it felt like I was either tied up or not at liberty to do that. And yet everything in me wished to not be alive. Then suddenly, an orientation for a prayer. [pause]
With that the heart opened up a bit. [pause]
I feel as if I’m supported on both sides. I’m trying to walk but I have no strength. [pause]
There are beings of light supporting me on both sides. I have an arm around each one. They are taking my weight because my legs cannot carry me fully.
Now it’s much clearer that I may have died to the previous situation. I am quite present to the transition. It was such a welcome relief as I trust that the light has come to claim me.
I don’t know. I couldn’t witness it directly. As if I was rowing, positioned at an oar on those ships. It feels like I may have been shackled but that I was able to make my leap into the water or in some way putting an end to it, while having great faith that there is something else. It may not matter now but it feels like the transition was a great freedom.
Jack: Yes. I think that’s the important point – that it was a great freedom.
Alfred: Yes, and there’s a great sense of being loved and welcomed on the other side of that.
It’s perhaps not so much the being carried or the lack of force in the legs – that’s more like an ordinary projection. It’s more like I’m being carried up, being guided by those two beings, one on each side. Towards some destination. Completely trusting that and feeling a sense of well-being.
It’s not that I know what the shape of those beings are – it’s like I’m part of those beings and there are no clear boundaries. I am clearly part of other beings like myself who are of the light. [pause]
There’s a certain glimpse of that ocean again. The blueness of it. Perhaps there’s a more recent association as to how it is being crossed again and again by this type of ship. More currently like those refugee boats, you know. People are dying all the time as they’re attempting to make a crossing.
Alfred: Great sadness. But it feels almost like that movement has a certain regularity. Like a periodic movement which keeps happening. [pause]
Jack: Can you say where you feel yourself to be right now?
Alfred: What I was aware of is a certain flatness – a certain lack of feeling that feels defensive or blocked. It feels like a refusal to accept or feel the feeling fully.
Jack: The feeling of sadness you mean?
Alfred: Sadness and terror and the feeling that a part of being perhaps that slave or a refugee on one of those boats… A kind of fear… And there’s something about the rejection of that invitation to know it more fully that is blocking a certain transformation. But that’s not something I can do – I can see the refusal of this otherness. It seems to be otherness rather than something that is me.
But there’s a much deeper perspective here as if I’m given this experience of how unbearable that is and at the same time absolutely necessary to surrender fully to that feeling. That lack of surrender is at the core of those boats. And that devastation repeating itself again and again you know. [pause]
Something is relaxing in the forehead in response to that.
Jack: Ah. That sounds good.
Alfred: It’s like some direct lesson that I’m understanding. How this type of cruelty cannot be inflicted when one feels the other fully.
Alfred: I’m reminded of the train operators on the Auschwitz trains who had to be completely drunk 24/7 to be able to do that. [pause]
There’s something about the terror of our situation that is becoming so clear – about how our most important commonality is being human. Anything else is really irrelevant. How horrifying it is – what’s happening here on this planet. [pause]
I am being reminded of the importance of being close to sensation.
Jack: Yes, I do think something is required right now. I have no idea what it is but it just feels like something is being required of you. [pause]
Alfred: Something about the vitality of the body and how essential it is and how unique it is. And how limited the available time is in order to allow something to transform. It becomes very directly known now.
I think that perhaps I’m the sole survivor of that slave ship. For some reason, something has matured in me whereas with others it didn’t. I’m not sure what that is about but… While I was witnessing the transition, others may have gone down with the ship. What do I know about others anyway but… There’s a certain kind of direct evidence of witnessing the passage. And it was very important because I don’t think I had any distinction. Maybe that’s part of my ego that had difficulty accepting that I may have been just a villager and a slave captured and had no particular merit. And yet prayer was available. [pause]
It’s very interesting that I can still follow the journey and I’m fairly confident that I haven’t imagined it. There is a destination for those light bodies and I’m part of that. We move into a kind of gathering place where all is clear – where there are no distinctions in class or color or… I think that’s the part that made the horror of what is taking place on this planet so much more profound. That here we can recognize what unites us and that we have never been separate. [pause]
Jack: It’s interesting how it’s so clear in that circumstance and so unclear when we’re immersed in ordinary life.
You know, breathing came to me too as another aspect of where our commonality is. That the breath is another common element that unites us… not only with fellow human beings but also with planets and animals and everything that breathes.
There was another image of the planet in its pristine form. It’s really gorgeous. It’s so pure. It’s like an unspoiled Caribbean beach you know – those golden sands and turquoise waters. It’s shimmering like a just-born planet. Or a just-cleansed planet. Full of promise. [pause]
I feel like the instruction has more or less ended. The summary with that closing image of the planet is like a conclusion. I’m trying not to indulge myself in whatever I learned today but more leaving that for a later conversation.
Jack: Yes, it’s often true I find that when an initial image comes back it’s an indication of a completion of some kind, of having made the complete journey back to the beginning.
Alfred: Yes, yes. And what you said earlier about the future was a very good and is a helpful way of eliminating the notion of linear time. Perhaps what I was living through was exactly that cleansing. We went through a number of deluges and cataclysms in previous sessions. This felt more personal rather than planetary.
Jack: But, as you say, it is a teaching that is applicable to more than just yourself while being illustrated by your own experience.
Alfred: Yes. The kernel of the experience is the same teaching: an absolute necessity for a total surrender.
Jack: Somehow this vision of the planet is connected for me with a session a few years ago where the person was told that yes the planet is polluted but it can all be cleaned up in hours. Very quickly.
Alfred: Yes, the cosmic cleanup team.
Jack: Yes, if it’s done from the right level it’s a totally different thing. From the human level of course it can’t be done. It’s at the point where something has to be done above the human level in order to correct it. We were told in that session that it was quite possible and also in your session – The Cosmic Cleanup Team.
Alfred: I remember very distinctly that the way that the cleansing team was cleansing those sites of disasters and contamination was through a special form of breathing. Which is perhaps a much more evolved form of Tonglen.
Jack: Well, it’s a little shorter than some of our sessions Alfred, but it feels like we need to break now and perhaps get some rest.
Alfred: It feels quite complete, yes.
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Monségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships.