Steve: All I see is darkness. Perfect darkness. [sigh]
When I was going back in time it was very hard to see anything else but the darkness.
Jack: That’s fine. That’s just fine – because that is what the subconscious has chosen as a beginning. So it’s perfectly all right.
Of course sometimes it’s simply darkness because where you’re going doesn’t have any light. Or maybe it’s just nighttime. So there are various possibilities but I’d like you to stay with the fact that you are in front of darkness. Sometimes it’s just a matter of staying, accepting that that’s what you have to face – the darkness. It’s not easy because it’s unknown. It’s important to just stay with whatever is there; whatever is taking place. Sometimes there can begin to be a movement in the darkness as if things are moving inside it. There could be points of light. For each person it’s his or her own journey of course. [pause]
Just tell me a little bit about what’s happening right now.
Steve: I think I’m in some sort of cave or grotto. And there’s a kind of a path that you have to walk up inside and in the middle of the grotto. And there is a man holding a kind of staff with a lantern on it. It’s dim but it’s slowly getting brighter and illuminating the grotto.
Jack: Yes. It’s important not to rush – just allow the scene to develop and the light to get brighter so you can see more.
And are you facing this man? Is he looking at you?
Steve: Yes, he’s looking at me. He looks very stern. [pause]
He’s asking me what am I doing here…
I think there are some paintings on the cave walls but I can’t quite make them out. They seem to be red in color.
Jack: Well, maybe you need to answer his question.
Tell him why you’re taking this journey.
Steve: The first thing I told him is – I actually don’t know why I said it – I said that I’m seeking forgiveness. He got agitated and said, “There is no forgiveness here.”
I then told him that I seek healing to move forward in life. He said, “There’s no moving forward in life. They only walk in circles. Look around you.”
I think he means that you can only walk along the periphery of the grotto. If you walk along the circular walkway along the inner wall of the grotto, you would walk in circles.
[Detail provided by Steve later to help visualize the place: The Grotto was doughnut-shaped, a bit like being on the inside of a “flying saucer.” You could walk around in circles along the inner walls, but in the center was an elevated mound with only one path up to the top, near the open-centered ceiling of the grotto.]
Steve: He wants me to figure out the riddle on the wall before I can come up and join him on top of the mound. [pause]
The only way out is up.
Hmm. It seems to be true. It seems to be a kind of sealed grotto. There doesn’t seem to be any way out except at the top.
I still can’t make out what’s on the walls.
Jack: Take your time. You mentioned that there was some red.
Steve: Yes, it seems to be very large strokes of red paint. It’s not even letters. It’s more almost like pictograms, but… [pause]
The paint is still fresh. [pause]
I ask him for more light. He won’t give it to me. [pause]
Jack: Well, if you could just concentrate with your inner vision. Don’t try too hard to look. Just accept that the content of what’s on the wall can enter into you. Maybe concentrate on your forehead, your third eye, because it can see everything. As if the meaning of the riddle on the wall is entering through your third eye.
Steve: [whispering at first as if still reading or receiving with difficulty.] “We can only make as much as we are…” It’s funny I can read the first two-thirds but I can’t seem to read the last third.
Jack: Take your time. Maybe concentrate particularly on the area of the heart. The heart can read sometimes what the head cannot. [pause]
Steve: [whispering again first] “In division comes wholeness.” And that’s it.
I think it’s saying that I can’t make anything happen because I’m too divided. He seems to agree. [long pause]
He’s saying, in order to become whole I should talk to myself. And I say, “That’s what I’ve been trying to do.” [pause]
And there’s this blue, feminine energy being who’s come down and she’s kind of holding my cheeks, saying, “It’s OK.”
Steve: She’s taking me to the upper part of the central grotto, telling me to take the lantern staff.
Jack: So now you are carrying the lantern and the staff?
Steve: Yes. She says I have to quest to be whole. To go and find the lost pieces of myself. To use the lantern to help me look for them and find them. [pause]
The lantern is pointing to a place in the wall where there seems to be some sort of hidden door.
Steve: I tried to open the door but there was a war behind it – a native American war. It seems like two warring tribes.
Jack: Are you supposed to go through the door or not?
Steve: I think so. The lantern is pointing that way.
Steve: OK. [as if gradually figuring it out] So… There’s chaos everywhere. And there’s a little child standing still in the open, crying. And there’s a horse rider that clubs him in the head and he falls dead. And there seems to be a piece of him that just fractures off – a piece of soul. The lantern is pointing to it. [pause]
I take it and bring it back into the cavern. The door closes and seals behind me as if it was never there.
I ask the blue energy being, “What was the point of this?”
She says, “It’s a process.”
It just seems cruel. [pause]
It is what it is.
Jack: I think that’s important. Don’t allow your thinking mind to color it too much. That mind will have its own reactions but you need to feel the connection with this blue energy being who is helping you. So let’s just see what needs to happen next.
Steve: She’s urging me to keep going.
Steve: The next door opens. And it’s a scene that the psychic had described to me. [Described to Jack by Steve before the session began.] There’s a man that’s me on a kind of stage. And I’m demonstrating some sort of energetic prowess or soul manipulation. People seem impressed. [pause]
I’ve kind of stepped into him. I can feel how glad and prideful he is. He’s happy with the outcome. His will will get him socially advanced.
There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong here. Why am I seeing this?
Jack: Yes you need to find that out.
Steve: [Azar-Mik speaking:] It is just showing that we can become whole.
We can help you.
Jack: Who’s this now who can help?
Steve: As a template. Remember him and he’ll be able to guide you in this life. Word. [pause] Ah. I see. He’s Azar-Mik. I actually met him through meditation but I didn’t know it was him.
Jack: Yes. So an important contact.
Steve: [intonation of surprise] He’s giving me something. A kind of silver… silver rod with a bulbous end. [Later comment by Steve: I now recognize it as a simplified Aspergillum.] And there are some grooves in it. For purification. All right. [pause]
I’m now back in the cave. [pause]
I ask, “What now?” and she says to keep going.
The being points to another door.
This one has darkness. It’s just pitch black. I can’t see anything. She says, “This is the scariest one.” [pause]
Jack: Yes, it’s hard. But it has to be faced.
Steve: There’s a voice in here saying, “I see you.” I’m trying to get the lantern to illuminate but it doesn’t seem to have any effect. [pause]
I ask, “Who is it?” And the answer is, “I am your mind. I am your heart. I am your sins.” [pause]
I ask it to come out and talk.
Jack: Just continue. Just stay there.
It takes a certain strength to stay there in the darkness. [long pause]
What’s happening now Steve?
Steve: Actually, a lot happened.
I put the silver bulbous thing inside the lantern and so light now kind of erased all the darkness. And this demon-monster-cursed-contaminated version of me just came up to me – it’s the one holding me back. So I gave it the lantern and that started kind of healing and purifying him. I think he’s my soul.
Jack: Don’t worry about defining it. Just follow the process.
Steve: And the darkness kind of went away. And he started regaining his natural appearance. And he said, “Thank you.” and then just went away with the staff. [pause]
I’m back in the grotto. The energy being seems very pleased. She says it was much easier than she expected. And she thinks I’m ready now. Ready to continue.
Steve: And now she says I have to choose. All the doors in the circular grotto kind of open. But I can also walk up the path. So I have to choose either one of the doors or to walk up the path. [pause]
So I thank her and walk up the path.
And I walk into the light and now I’m kind of standing in space. And I can see the Universe.
Oh. I see. I think it’s a kind of nexus point between materiality and immateriality. Below me I can see the entire universe and above me I can see all of divinity.
Stay in that point. Till the time is right. [pause]
I ask, “That’s nice but that doesn’t tell me who I am.” They say, “That’s not for now.”
Jack: Yes. I think that’s reasonable. But you need to remember that point of perspective. Be able to return there from time to time. Part of you needs to stay there. The universe in front of you and all of divinity above you. [pause]
Steve: I think it’s time to go back.
Jack: Yes, I think so.
Maybe just as we’re beginning to end I’ll just ask if there’s any last piece of information that needs to come to you. It seems complete but just in case there’s some other statement that can come through that’s going to be helpful in a practical way. [pause]
Steve: Be diligent and vigilant.