Alfred: A kind of heaviness in the body that suggests that those theta rhythms are present – a sort of light somnolence. And a familiar kind of transition in its unknown-ness.
As everything else is getting heavy and sleepy, there’s another part that is becoming more sensitive. It is not my ordinary observing. Allowing the breathing to enter the consciousness, being sensitive to it, is vivifying. [pause]
The physical body that is lying here on the couch is becoming more transparent, less opaque. [pause]
The breathing is a key link so as not to imagine, to stay away from association. [pause]
Jack: Yes, very good use of the breathing. [long pause]
Alfred: A quality of grasping of the mind becomes very visible and can be let go of much more quickly. [pause]
Further opening in the forehead, in the third eye area. [very long pause]
Jack: What you’ve just been experiencing is completely fresh and new but usually at about this point there’s a transition to something else. It would be good to be clearer about that transition and what’s required of you for it to take place. [long pause]
Alfred: Something is holding in the solar plexus.
There is an expectation for it to release that is actually the obstacle.
It’s almost like praying for some type of help here. [pause]
The attention is expanding to the breath as a guidance, as a source of life which then begins to circulate. [pause]
Releasing now. Bringing more awareness to the back. Releasing the solar plexus. Like a kind of receding to the back of the organism from which the whole globe is seen… more than 180 degrees, the whole sky and the whole space – beyond windows and ceilings and trees – I have my eyes closed. Unrestricted perception.
Jack: So you’re making a shift to perception out of the astral body which is more than 180 degrees – it’s 360. So you are using the eyes of the second body.
Alfred: Yes, it feels like it expands to complete the circle around me with a clear perception of the back as another space. [pause]
Sounds also now seem to be sourced from all around. And the breath is in the center as a way of connecting with something that is beyond and is not yet clearly in my perception. But there is a link to a source. It needs to unfold at its own pace.
Jack: Yes. [pause]
Alfred: There is a source of light that is approaching. It’s like a ball of fire. A very bright light. It’s not a ball of fire, it’s like a light source. [long pause]
There are constrictions in what feels like the physical body that are clearly preventing the light from penetrating further. Nothing to do. [pause]
Jack: Yes, perhaps nothing to do, but as the consciousness becomes aware that there are elements in the physical body that are finding it difficult, there can be a kind of relaxation that takes place to allow something to penetrate – not that you’re making it penetrate of course but…
Alfred: It has to do with opening to the subtle aspect of breathing. That seems to open it up. It’s very clear how the mind tries to attack something directly when the approach must be indirect. It’s not for me to do. There’s an intelligence that, when trusted, knows what’s necessary, knows what comes next.
Alfred: It has to do with the breath, which is beginning to originate from the lower abdomen.
And now it seems like that light source is huge. It’s like a planet. It is taking over the whole horizon. Very luminous, almost blindingly so, but not quite. Light, silvery light. It feels liquid. Fluid.
It’s clear that the obstacle is dissolving into that.
Jack: I see.
Alfred: There’s some obstacle but there’s also a wish to dissolve into that energetic being, that planet. Something has to be given up or be clear for this to happen voluntarily. [pause]
It’s a giving up of the subjective perspective.
Alfred: There is that familiar feeling of the anticipation of an encounter. A welcoming feeling, a “welcoming home” feeling. It’s not quite there yet but there are the precursors of that feeling. It helps with the fear of relinquishing something. It’s like a help that is offered in letting go.
Jack: Good. Yes.
It’s as if you can’t really do this alone. You can only do it to the extent that you’re connected. And you don’t do it, but you participate in the doing of it.
Alfred: It’s very helpful to again be reminded and to open to the larger perspective – that 360 degree perspective. It takes the isolation out of this and it seems then that I’m part of a gravitational field where other beings are attracted in a similar way. Attracted to that source which is infinite.
From all over the universe particles are being attracted. I am one of those moving particles.
As we are getting closer, it feels interestingly like spokes. The awareness of the others becomes more prominent. There’s a convergence. There’s a structure that is more visible. Something that looks like a rock. Very steep. It feels like a crystal. Huge, enormous, radiant. Like a steeple of a huge church or cathedral. A tower – something like that. With beings that together with me are ascending towards it. Scaling it. Not scaling it in an effortful way but more moving towards the top of it.
It’s a created form. It’s not something natural. There are windows or openings that are more visible. These forms are in all shades of light, very bright light. Not all of it is available to perception.
Cape-like clothes on people walking on the paths.
Jack: Upward-moving paths?
Alfred: Yes. It feels like a spiral around some area where people are walking. I’m not of that level – I’m floating above, towards the top. There’s a more visible type of spiral around it with… I got a glimpse of someone with a cape that seems to be blue – cobalt blue, very shimmery, who is making his way along the path. Some red capes now too.
There’s a sense of a point of concentration – perhaps a gathering at the top of this structure. It’s peculiar because it feels very pointy or narrowing near the top but I’m not concerned with that.
A sense of a landing perhaps.
Jack: A kind of arrival?
Alfred: Yes. Almost like a bird. There’s a kind of springy, soft landing, on something organic – like part of a body that is springy and very capable, strong enough to receive the weight on its surface. Kind of strong and capable.
There’s a sense of knowing my place here and what needs to happen next although it’s completely unknown to me.
Jack: Yes, but there’s still the sense of it.
Alfred: Yes, exactly, so I’m allowing it to unfold by itself.
There’s a certain progression. I think with other beings – it could be people – humans. I’m aware that we are progressing side by side, a whole row of us.
It’s so nice to relax and not to have to know, so I’m not rushing.
Jack: And there’s nothing to figure out…
Alfred: But there are definitely red and blue capes there. [pause]
Just so you know, I’m aware of how the center of gravity of experiencing has shifted back to the physical body but without losing that… It’s almost like something needs to… some awareness of that shift needs to happen before…
Still in touch with that row.
It is like a flat surface – like a big top of a table mountain. [pause]
I wish to say that now that the row becomes curved, like an arc, as we circle around the center of that particular…
Jack: I see. On this flat surface?
Almost certain that there’s a certain contact… like arms on each other’s shoulders or some physical way in which this circle becomes a ring. [pause]
There’s something like an altar. At the center. A body is lying on it. Motionless.
Jack: A body.
Alfred: A human body. [pause]
It looks like Jesus Christ.
Something in me wishes to say, “The other side of the crucifixion.” With a lot of feelings. [voice breaking up]
Alfred: [sharp breaths out] So clear. [strong emotions continuing, evidenced in the breathing]
I cannot be taken by these emotions. There’s something that has to take place.
Jack: That’s right. The emotions are natural but I think there’s a kind of vigilance that’s required so that they don’t disturb anything. It’s as if the part that feels overwhelmed is the earthly part but you’re very far from that part at the moment, so… Something needs to be sustained because something is being accomplished… Together with others.
Alfred: [speaking with great difficulty] Yes. It is. It is. There is something like a transformation taking place. There’s a total surrender.
Jack: Yes, surrender in the feelings as well. A complete surrender. But not a disappearance. You are still there, participating – an active participant, with others.
Alfred: [1:14:59] [Voice strong and unshaking now] It’s like I’m him as well as I’m everybody else. No difference. Just that sense in my back that life is flowing both in the circle and in him on that altar.
Jack: Would you say it’s one life?
Alfred: [voice breaking again] Yes.
Jack: One life shared by everyone.
Alfred: Yes. So clear.
Jack: Yes. [pause]
Alfred: He’s gradually sitting up. Gently. And kind of smiling. Very naturally. Like coming from a long sleep. Color is returning to his body. He is joining us. [intonation of disbelief]
Jack: Yes, it’s overwhelming but you need to be steady. It’s very hard but you need to be steady.
I wish to say that he is giving as much as he’s receiving.
Jack: Yes, I imagine he is.
Alfred: The mind wishes to go to what just happened and it’s absolutely not right, not right.
Jack: No it’s not right. You need to be with what is happening. Of course, of course.
Alfred: [disbelief] I actually feel his hand in my hand.
Alfred: Like an embrace. [pause]
This encourages me to experience his body like my body. And stop imagining. Gently.
Jack: Yes. Very gently.
What’s important is the contact.
Alfred: [incredulous intonation] He’s breathing… like a breath. [pause]
[normal intonation] Clear awareness of the others.
I know we’re going to break bread together. [voice breaking] As we did before.
Jack: As you did before but now it’s at a different level… or maybe not… I’m not sure.
Alfred: Directly connected to that circle in Provence. [referring to a previous session]
Jack: Yes. Very similar. Very connected. [pause]
Alfred: No fear. [pause]
Jack: And very clear that something needs to be fed.
Jack: And is being fed, generously.
Alfred: Very aware of that bread. It has every element of the earth in it. His long fingers. Offering the bread to everyone. [pause]
I always knew I was Christian. [long pause]
It’s helpful to establish something in the astral body while that vision is still circulating. The vision is still there although somewhat diminished. The others are there as well. And Jesus. We are with him there. But there’s a kind of gradual fading. [pause]
There’s almost an embrace or as if he is in some way sending a… a kind of kiss… a kind of farewell. “We’ll see each other again” type of… a tying of something. Serving something up. Almost feels like tying a knot of sorts.
Jack: Is it like a marker?
Alfred: It actually looks like filaments that are being attached or tied together.
Jack: So that there’s an established connection.
Alfred: That’s right. And there are feelings with that.
Alfred: Yes. To my ordinary mind it feels like making a double knot.
Jack: Yes, it’s a connection, a tie, a link…
Alfred: Something that feels like it’s stretching and thinning but it’s not disappearing.
Jack: Well, it will thin as you return but it will not be broken. It has been tied tightly – that’s what a knot is for.
Alfred: And it feels definitely trustworthy.
Jack: Yes. It is something you can rely on. Yes.
Alfred: [big breath] It feels like gratitude. I haven’t wasted my 60 years here.
Jack: [chuckling] Well, the 60 years are like a twinkling of the eye. What’s important is this link as we move forward. And this connection that’s been being feelingly built for a very long time.
Alfred: It feels like he’s at the center and there are similar radiations perhaps from his center to all of us who withdraw into a larger and larger circle… like along the spokes of the wheel… or a sphere. [pause]
It is so essential to allow this process to proceed as it needs to without grasping and without accelerating. So that this foundation can be laid down properly.
Jack: I think it’s very similar to how we needed to treat the beginning as well. There can’t be any pushing. Even when you can feel something begin you don’t rush towards it. Now too you don’t rush away from it.
Jack: It takes its course – the course it needs to take because of the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
Alfred: Yes. And it’s good to get some coordinates on the way down, on the way out.
Jack: Yes, we need coordinates because it’s a path that has been established. A link, a path, a filament.
Alfred: And it is a narrowing of the field of vision.
Jack: Yes, it needs to narrow for you to re-enter.
Alfred: And the back is becoming more prominent as more of the physical spine emerges. The breath is more concerned with the physical body than with another entity.
Jack: But would you say that the physical body is not unaffected by what has taken place? Or can you perceive that?
Alfred: Yes, I can perceive it. I can perceive that the functions – now that I can call them that – are more visible in their different qualities. Still within a larger envelope but more separated, more separated out – not entirely but… more like organs within a membrane.
I slowly open my eyes and I find the sun in a very different place. Very aware how the planet has shifted. This planet feels more like a spaceship.
Very different return without the body kind of announcing itself by some kind of appetite.
Jack: Yes, that’s good.
Alfred: It feels like a more gradual return in three centers rather than in one center.
A certain tenderness in the feelings.
Jack: Of course.
Alfred: And the mind is not churning. The body is still relaxed. I’m now aware of its being in a fixed posture for a long time.
Jack: Yes, there needs to be a caring, a caring for the body, a caring for what its needs are. At the same time, it’s been a privilege to be connected to this experience.
Alfred: We are guided.
Jack: Absolutely. It has certainly not been directed by either you or me. Neither you nor I could have even conceived of what took place.
Alfred: Lord have mercy.
Jack: [whispered] Yes. Indeed. [pause]
Is it still windy?
Alfred: Yes, it is still windy but less so; it has calmed down significantly – at least from looking at the movement in the trees.
Tears are flowing freely.
Jack: Yes, that’s understandable. [pause]
Alfred: Intense awareness of the two separate realities and how they co-exist without contradiction. The ordinary mind cannot grasp that.
This is the stuff, that if I were naïve and didn’t know that quality, I would think that from now on I just need to announce from the top of every mountain that something has shifted…
Jack: The words that come to me are, “Everything will be the same and nothing will be the same.”
Alfred: [whispered] That’s right.
The life-long love of Jesus Christ which I never understood. [pause]
Jack: Yes, now it will be much easier for that to be alive in you. [pause]
Alfred: You know, miracles happen all the time we’re just…
Jack: [chuckling] Yes, we’re just not aware. We’re dense.
Alfred: We are. We are.
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What Is Breathing, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood.