Alfred: It’s very easy to transition to a space with fewer shapes and less familiarity. [pause]
Jack: It seems that there’s a part that simply knows. It’s not an action exactly but more a kind of relaxation.
Alfred: In the transition there’s a darkness that has been there before in previous sessions. It’s what I call a “living darkness” because it’s not the absence of something but the presence of something.
Jack: Something unknown?
Alfred: Yes, like a living darkness.
Jack: But not scary?
Alfred: No, but it’s scary in a way for the part that needs to know what is happening.
Jack: But not disturbing?
Alfred: No, not disturbing. It’s something that envelops.
It’s the visual of an auditory hum that is not present – a background of stillness, a living stillness. There’s a letting go of the visual and the auditory and then something else appears in those channels.
Jack: The body is involved, isn’t it?
Alfred: Yes. Exactly. The body is involved although the breathing is not yet expansive. It begins to bring in impressions – not only air – as the scalp and the forehead relax.
Now it begins to permeate the body – so that the body begins to lose its familiar shape. [pause]
Jack: And although the body is losing its familiar shape is there still a sense of coherence, an integrity in the body?
Alfred: Yes. But the familiar body is diminished in its importance. It’s more of the larger awareness of presence that is not restricted to the familiar body, the ordinary body.
But the body is still in its familiar shape with areas of tension which gradually let go.
There is an awareness that is more encompassing of the activity in the solar plexus and in the head. [pause]
It’s interesting how there’s a concentration that is beginning to be less distracted by all kinds of fragments of images. It let’s them pass by without becoming attached. There’s a certain base forming and I’m not chasing whatever is presented by the mind. I’m letting things pass as this process of concentration is taking place. There’s a kind of active waiting – for nothing in particular. [pause]
Tensions open up around the heart. Tensions are discovered that let go, tensions that were not apparent before. They are being shown – in the face for example.
It’s funny – I’m aware of this kind of pressure to produce something, manufacture something that will make it a worthwhile session. And so that Jack will be entertained and I will feel like I’m getting something. At the moment I noticed that, there appeared a very powerful image of something like a crown or a light – something gold – very magnificent – a quick image of that. That’s when the reaction came in – like I’m not just going wild am I? And yet it’s not manufactured.
Jack: No, it’s not manufactured.
Alfred: Right. It’s like a mountain, a mountain that becomes a crystal mountain or a light, something immense. I can’t see the top of it. It has light coming out of it. It’s not a mountain, it’s like a huge cathedral. It’s immense. The light is flooding out in front of it. It’s hard to make out details because the light is so blinding.
Jack: Yes. Do you feel the light touching you?
Alfred: It’s good you mention touch because the eyes are not the way to perceive it. [pause]
I’m on the edge of a feeling of home. I’m not fully experiencing it yet but if I let myself – or if something lets itself – I am penetrated by that light. There’s a sense of complete abandonment of whatever was there before.
Jack: So it’s not just touch – it really enters into, penetrates…
Alfred: It seems somewhat associated to a complete picture of Mont St. Michel. Something like that. As if it was made of light, pure light. But it’s much, much… [pause]
The shape of the body dissolves. I’m experiencing my face opening up – losing a recognizable face and merging with that light. There’s no pain, there’s no dread. There’s a need to allow. Something has to be relaxed and…
Jack: Yes, even when faced with not knowing…
Alfred: Exactly. It’s the opposite of tightening. [pause] The closest correspondence to this light is the breathing.
Jack: So the two are connected somehow?
Alfred: Yes. It’s like a medium, a medium through which this transformation is happening. [pause] It’s very clear it takes time.
Jack: Yes, this is not something to be hurried; it couldn’t be anyway but…
Alfred: It progresses at its own pace.
Jack: Yes, it has to be at its own pace, on its own terms.
Alfred: But more of the body is illuminated with that now. Whatever it is that the body is right now, it’s more under this light. The existence completely unconfined by the familiar envelope of the body. [pause]
Very little interruption from the mind. A tiny interruption – a doubt. Would I ever be able to describe what’s taking place to somebody else? The intensity of the light and being part of it. Being part of it is the wrong way to describe it – it’s being it.
Jack: You are the light, is that right?
Alfred: That’s right.
Jack: That’s how completely it has entered into you… or you have merged with it. [pause]
Alfred: It’s so clear and compelling – how is it that not everybody know that?
Jack: But you have made a transition. Not everybody has made a transition. You have made a transition and you have made it only at this moment…
Jack: Yes, don’t be too concerned about telling others. You are saying something about it right now – which is fine. The words are inadequate but they are at least a pointer – like the finger pointing at the moon. They are indicating something and that’s fine. It’s the best we can do under the circumstances. Later something more might be possible – at a future time.
Alfred: There is an awareness of others going through the same transformation. They appear as shapes in the light. I am participating in this with many others.
Jack: Right now? You are seeing that?
Alfred: Yes. I’m trying not to be curious about it but an awareness of it is there.
Jack: So, you are not alone.
Alfred: Right. There’s a kind of slight movement or shapes appearing in this super-bright light. Something is forming.
Overwhelming vibrations all around. The whole body is vibrating. Whatever it is of me that’s there is one vibration – uniform, homogenous.
Very strange – it feels like something is being materialized into a sphinx. Some kind of hybrid creature. There are wings and a non-bird type of a head. [pause]
And legs definitely not those of a bird either. I’m so reluctant to just say “sphinx” because it feels clichéd but it is something resembling a sphinx. From the inside experience, I’m looking at my feet and I see lion claws. How strange.
Alfred: It has actually materialized enough for me to begin feel the energy of wings wishing to spread.
Jack: Yes, it’s alive. It’s not a stone statue.
Alfred: No! [intonation = “not at all”]
Jack: A stone statue is just a symbol or a replica.
Alfred: I think it has a kind of human face. Definitely strong, eagle-like wings. Lion claws. The posture it takes is sitting on the haunches.
A horizon of turquoise sky like in the desert and a desert color for the planet – yellowish, quite flat.
I’m not alone. There’s a feeling of… not sure what it’s based on… as if I’m one of many of those sphinxes perhaps. Although I don’t see others I have a sense that others are around me, more of my fellow creatures, fellow beings. It feels very powerful, very clear, something through the head, some intelligence. It’s not a human face – very flat features, no protrusion for the nose. The eyes are clearly there, although vision is not happening through those eyes necessarily – it’s a kind of all-around awareness. [pause]
I was distracted and found my way back through the breathing.
Alfred: And now I’m flying… as if I missed the takeoff.
Jack: You didn’t notice the transition. That’s fine. Just be aware of the power of the wings.
Alfred: Very rapid. And as if the landscape has gotten very small as I rise to a high altitude. Coolness of the air. Something pulling back, like a mane or something. Doesn’t feel like feathers, something like the mane of a lion. It feels like the body is also… it feels like vigilance or being on the lookout for something. There’s a question about purpose or direction.
Jack: But it’s clear there is a direction…
Alfred: Yes, but one that has not yet fully materialized. Kind of an image of something gold. Like on a radar screen, in my awareness. Shaped like a crown.
Now it feels more like a destination and not an object. As if there is a code relating to where I need to go – something made clear to me that determines the direction of this flight.
Seeing a mountain made of light now; it’s clear that I’m flying towards that. Crystal light, pointed, sky-reaching cathedrals. I’m being invited, pulled, summoned to that place as this flying eagle/lion/sphinx. Meeting it at a very high point. I’m soaring to get to the top of it. [pause]
There was a gap. I was not aware of the transition into this structure. But the red cape is there. It’s not clear whether I am wearing it or if I’m watching someone who is wearing that red velvet cape… a crimson cape with an ermine collar. There are perhaps more than one person with that.
I’m no longer in the shape of that sphinx. It’s more like I’m participating in some kind of gathering. There is a feeling of belonging.
Hard to make out the others there. Almost needing something else from me in order to perceive them.
Jack: Yes, you maybe need to make the transition more fully. You only just arrived there in this new form. [pause]
Alfred: There was a semi-distraction from this level. Almost something like, “Well, you can’t just disappear into that other world. You have to leave messages or notes that you have died.” There’s no just leaving like this with no… without leaving notice… something like that.
Jack: Well, again, just take that as a piece of information from your ordinary consciousness. The point is that it is a type of death because you have gone so far.
Alfred: Yes. [breath out]
And with that comes a certain kind of awareness of a hallway leading towards a gathering with people on all sides. Marble. Very elegant, very formal, a very beautiful setting. Some kind of meeting room.
The colors are turquoise hues – bluish – turquoise in the upholstery. Maybe its from a certain kind of something on that center table which is perhaps equipment or…
It’s not clear.
But a glimpse of someone that appears older. A kind of a humanoid form. Much taller. I caught a glimpse of the face. A somewhat drawn face. Beard. Very elongated. Authority. Not particularly attentive to me or to the gathering… just passing through. Like having some task that they have to be quite engrossed in. I got a glimpse of that. [pause]
Very clear when the ordinary mind is filling in gaps.
Jack: Is the purpose of this gathering clearer now? [pause]
Alfred: I want to say that it’s more some type of a celebration than a task or an emergency.
Jack: Yes, it feels very different from previous gatherings around a table.
Alfred: It’s like something that preceded this gathering is being celebrated or acknowledged or reviewed. [long pause]
A realization that there’s something else. I’m seeing a movement of molecules into different forms. Particles in space. Seeing that in a concentrated way.
Quick transition, very flash-like, into a cockpit or into some kind of device with a suit which was so fast I didn’t have time to fully absorb it. Just something silver; a kind of suit. Something that I saw in a way. This movement is progressing in a space of great particles, or meteors, or something moving very quickly. [pause]
Jack: So you’re in a suit and in a craft too?
Alfred: It’s not entirely clear. I think so. I’m witnessing it and it’s not confined by a cockpit or anything like that. It’s almost as if this movement is happening in my body. Something is kind of absorbed. I can see particles being pulled very rapidly, an infinite number of particles being pulled into, flowing into my body – or whatever body I have inside that.
I can see how it forms – it doesn’t have a shape yet. A movement of concentration of particles into a body.
Jack: So an infinite number of these particles.
Alfred: Infinite. It’s like looking into space. An indefinite number of planets, all converging, all flowing into the body very rapidly. What might be the equivalent of coating. No, not a coating – it forms the whole volume of the body.
Jack: Forms the whole thing all at once you mean?
Colors are gold and reddish. Earth colors. [pause]
I am participating with awareness in the process of embodiment.
Particles from all over the universe. I see some gold. A lot of other elements. Different colorations. Some copper red. Turquoise.
It’s like being shown now that I’m… Wow! I’m being shown kind of like… I’m back with the cape and the group there as if I was suddenly aware of the fact that I’m witnessing the manufacturing of a being. I’m being shown the equivalent of a plan, a plan for a being – how it is materialized.
Jack: How it’s assembled?
Alfred: Assembled from all these particles. And those beings are… and I am one of the designers.
Jack: The design team.
Alfred: Yes, yes. Exactly. As if it’s being shown through a window or through a screen where this process is taking place. Because it wasn’t exactly me. It didn’t feel like I am the one who is being materialized. I wasn’t clear about it before. Now it’s more like I’m participating in the design process. [pause]
Something is gradually being completed as the screen is getting less luminous. And we tend to each other in the way of having completed something in relation to this process.
Jack: Was it something you all participated in?
Alfred: [definitive intonation] Yes. [pause]
The way sometimes there is a sense of completion. The job is finished and now we’re going to go and have dinner.
Jack: We are 59 minutes into the session.
Alfred: It’s important to stay a little longer because I feel like something important is still being shared.
Jack: Exactly. Don’t rush this. I would say we need another few minutes. Certainly a process was completed. Fine. I’d be interested in your connection to the others and what takes place in that connection as we begin to realize there’s a need to eat or do something else. [long pause]
Alfred: There’s a pressure in my bladder that was a major distraction but the urgency of that is diminished which allows me to join the others.
There’s a sense of gliding or moving toward another space with the others. [pause]
An awareness of the absence of feelings. It’s curious and opens up the question of feelings towards the others. How is it that…
Jack: Are you sure it isn’t just that the feelings are so refined and at a higher level that you don’t…
Alfred: Exactly. It’s interference from the planetary body.
Alfred: Between hunger and some urgency I am distracted from that. Exactly.
Jack: Perhaps it’s very useful to see those two at the same time so it’s possible to understand better how we need to separate them.
The feelings can still be there but…
Alfred: The feelings are there. It’s a reestablishment of the space we are in and especially the light of that space – a light that permeates the space like a living light. The others are there.
The clarity of my interference in my experience. My experience is there and has been there and I just rejoin it. There was no interruption. It’s my interruption.
There’s something even brighter at the center of this room that is already bright and barely bearable. We are getting closer to that. Something wishes to say the center of the universe but something else is willing to join others as we now gather around.
It has to do with whatever was created in that crystallization. What we are witnessing is the result of whatever preceded that. There is a certain gathering around feelings of accomplishment or recognition of completion. Something can be let go. The center is alive. It has a kind of shape, an incredibly luminous shape that is round, living, changing. We all gather around it. We are losing our form to it. Ah! We dissolve into it. I can see how the ermine and crimson cape is… See it on myself like on the others. I see it absorbed into that light. Naturally.
Alfred: Right. [pause]
There’s no way of understanding this from where I am now.
And that’s quite all right.
Jack: There’s nothing to worry about – because there is a part that does understand. But we can’t always be in touch with that part from within this form that we are inhabiting.
Alfred: This is a complete absorption. And it is such a different experience than previously when it was a struggle. This time it was completely voluntary absorption.
Jack: There was no struggle.
Alfred: Right. A complete recognition that this is what comes next. Complete acceptance. Acceptance is even a foreign word in this context because there’s no acceptance of anything. There is simply no separation. And the light remains. Slightly diminished but so compelling. It has a very definite shape. The mind is now holding and making more form to where there was no form.
Jack: [whispered] Yes, be careful. [pause]
Alfred: There is no ending to this and yet there is a recognition that it must end. Not the luminosity, not the light but that I don’t belong there with this body.
Jack: No, not with your body. It’s an end to your awareness of what you are observing. It doesn’t mean what you were observing ceases to exist.
Alfred: That’s exactly it.
Jack: Your awareness has to cease in order for you to enter completely back into this body – this physical body that has its needs and it needs to be looked after because part of your business is this incarnation.
Alfred: Even though there’s a part that wishes to remain there and abandon this messy business here.
Jack: Of course it’s very messy – going to the bathroom is very messy. But the fact of that – your description makes your connection to the other so alive that you can be sure that it’s possible to reconnect.
Alfred: There’s this moment where we’re not entirely absorbed there but I can still see how we gradually absorb into that light. And there’s no struggle at all. It’s completely understood. [pause]
[opening his eyes] Hello Jack.
Jack: Welcome back to limitation and separation.
Alfred: [Sharp breath out]
Right. We have to occupy this body for now. It’s a pain that we have to find a way of living with this constrained body and constrained mind.
Jack: Well, it’s an obligation we’ve decided to take on.
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What Is Breathing)