Alfred: It feels like the back is making much wider contact with the bed – almost as if a much larger body is resting there.
My mouth is dry so I think there’s a little edge of fear involved.
The lower back more sensitive… the front of the face and the forehead. Definitely relaxing.
Jack: Yes, it seems like that relaxation in the forehead is very important. Something in the mind has to let go.
Alfred: It’s so clear that the body that is lying here is not the body that is the essence of what needs to be experienced right now. It’s just a vehicle.
Jack: Yes, I think those distinctions are very important so that you can feel the separation between the different parts. [pause]
Alfred: It’s like a dawn over an ocean. Light begins to appear over water. [pause]
It’s kind of a twilight but the mind still makes a commentary about whether it is or isn’t consistent with what it knows. It’s possible to just let that go and stay close to what is being experienced.
Jack: Even if the scene is not distinct, it’s important to just allow it to be there even in its indistinctness. Like you say – a twilight – something is not totally clear but it’s clear that there’s something there.
Alfred: It feels like a body of water that is flat – there’s no curvature that suggests a planet – it’s very interesting. [pause]
Kind of superimposed I see a busy street scene with a lot of people coming and going, back and forth. I’m not too confident but perhaps the image of some Parisian street. Not sure how to treat that. Something striking about the lights and…
Jack: See what you’re more attracted to in the feeling and in the sensation.
Alfred: It was startling – how did I move from that ocean or water surface to a busy street with a kind of sickening yellow light… [Note: Paris bombings were two days before this session.]
Alfred: I feel that my mind may need to take a back seat.
Jack: Yes, you may need to allow something to deepen further – particularly in the sensation in the body.
Jack: The back particularly but also the forehead. Something has to let go there.
Alfred: It’s very helpful not to grasp with the mind but to let go, trusting that whatever is valid and true will show up.
Jack: Yes. The body doesn’t have the same difficulty. And also the feeling… You didn’t say much but I had the sense that there was a particular feeling about that expanse of water and the twilight.
Jack: It has an emotional tone or a feeling tone.
Alfred: It has the feeling of a new day.
Jack: But it’s good to recognize your humanness in the street scene that appeared. We are subject to that but this session is about something else really I think. [long pause]
Alfred: The breathing becomes a very different kind of breathing.
Jack: Yes. That’s an important transition too.
Alfred: It’s almost like a breathing that is connected to a much larger purpose. It’s not a breathing that is my breathing. I am breathed. Because there’s a certain intention that needs to be known. [pause]
I’m on the edge of discovering some harmony between the breathing and perhaps a movement or a rocking of a larger body, perhaps of water, similar to a rocking of a boat on a calm water. [pause]
Jack: Yes. Very good to stay close to that movement. That sensation of movement. And its connection to the breathing.
Alfred: There was a slight blinking as if I took a micro-sleep. Your voice kind of brought me to. But I’m not sure it was sleep.
Jack: You know, in order to work in this altered state, the brain vibration has to approach theta which is the state in which you may dream so there is a danger of falling asleep.
Alfred: It was a micro-moment but now it’s as if I’m watching a much darker night sky with my back against some kind of surface that is much larger than my physical presence – it’s almost like I am the planet – we had that before. It’s like I’m sensing all along a much larger body – all that it is contacting – like the air and the atmosphere. Like a living planet. I am it. [pause]
Jack: Again, it’s useful to keep the mind out of that and just experience what you’re experiencing without comment from the mind. And is there a feeling to that as well?
Alfred: There was a great calm. The darkness is very dark. There’s no other planets or lights. It feels very tactile. This darkness is touching every part of my body. [pause]
There’s a sense of support and contact from the back which feels very alive and then there’s a complete openness to that darkness. A kind of velvety soft darkness. There is a space. A space but a living space.
Jack: That you’re in touch with?
Alfred: Yes, exactly. [long pause]
It seems like I’m being offered a view of something very complex, as in machinery or something which I’m not quite capable of fully absorbing. It’s like restrictions in my field of vision or my ability to perceive. Perhaps having to do with not letting go enough.
Jack: And a reminder also not to rush – to take the time it takes. If you feel a limitation it may be simply that more time is required to adapt because there is a transformation going on. It requires a certain duration. [long pause]
Alfred: A glimpse of myself, perhaps someone else, leading a group of people, beings, walking very quickly. Just like a quake, as if there was a flash of light illuminating it and then it’s dark again. I couldn’t take a good look at whatever it is but I’m just… Very purposeful walking – 20 or more people – following me. Maybe not people. Very tall. [pause] A sense of urgency. [pause]
Lots of grey. Grey landscape. Very rugged. Mountainous and cavernous.
Alfred: It seems like light is gradually appearing yes. A flickering I saw in looking back. A very determined movement of what looked like a battalion or an army – people, a group on a mission. Desert-like, rocky. [pause]
Funny stirrings in the solar plexus. Kind of warmth and… what feels this side of a barrier that becomes more distinct as a barrier that protects something on the other side of the solar plexus. Precursor of some kind of feelings. Unclear what kind of feeling. I’m trying not to speculate.
Jack: Don’t anticipate. You’re feeling it in the body – that’s good.
Alfred: Like a kind of separation as if the plexus is split and I’m aware of a wall which would be a kind of a sense of apprehension, mobilization for some kind of confrontation. But that particular group is moving with me very quickly. [pause]
Jack: So presumably there’s a destination?
Alfred: There was a sense of a kind of army, instruments or weapons that are now being put on the ground as if there’s a little break or a little gathering. Stuff being put on the ground with a sense of being unburdened. Taking a break in the walking. [pause]
Something blue in the back… I’m so exclusively focused on the solar plexus and I realize that it’s too narrow a focus. So something in the back seems to be guiding more reliably than the solar plexus, as in a proximity to a blue color, a deeper blue, very deep blue. Like I’m looking for instructions because those people depend on me for… I’m like a sentry that has to be very attentive to that kind of information.
Jack: So you’re looking for help and instruction from the blue.
Alfred: That’s it. [pause]
A clear sense that something has to go along the legs, sensed from that particular planet. It’s like looking for a point of descent into it from the surface. Because the hint is that there’s some intensity or deepening of the blue which seems to be the signal that confirms a greater proximity to the destination. [pause]
I have to trust that signal because there’s no other authority. I’m kind of young and put in this position of responsibility. The source of my authority is my ability to follow that signal.
Jack: So that connection is vital?
Alfred: Yes. Vital resonates. [pause]
That fine state is not optional – it is vital for the accomplishment of this mission. I want to say that there is a kind of a shaft, or some type of entry that needs to be discovered, and I think we’re getting close to it, almost like there’s a kind of picture I have, a scheme or blueprint that I have in my mind that has to match something in the terrain that is not yet clearly identifiable. But it’s getting closer as I’m getting clearer about the signal. Something has to relax further. [pause]
Yes, I think we’re making our descent. It seems like at the threshold I had to overcome my old claustrophobia. Something is trusting that this is…
Jack: Yes, your guidance is reliable.
Alfred: Yes, we are protected. [pause]
Huge rays of light. Like laser beams. Reaching into that place where we are gathering on the surface of that planet.
Alfred: No inside. Inside and protected but that doesn’t prevent those beams from being visible. Very clear, intense. Perhaps there are ways of… There’s some kind of traffic along that beam… [pause]
I just need to be very still. Otherwise there’s an interference with something that has to take place.
It feels like we’re being rescued. Transported back… On that beam… I can sense that right now. [pause]
I got a glimpse of most of what needs to be left behind. Not only the equipment but a kind of a body that was functioning on that mission. What will be transferred is just a fragment or part of what that being was. Some difficulty in separating from… what would have been probably the planetary body for that planet.
Distinct pain that’s been coming and going in the right hip which feels like a tightening.
Jack: Connected to what needs to be left behind you mean?
Alfred: It could be an ordinary pain that I have from yoga class but… at this level it may be feeling like a certain grasping… perhaps. Something has to let go. There are brief moments when it doesn’t hurt.
The breath is almost affirming that separation… that something can go on without this body. The center of the breath is elsewhere. [pause]
The hip releases. [pause]
It’s a very, very fine balance. Something is opening up to light in the forehead. Or something needs to separate from this body. Then there’s a renewed kind of tightening so it’s a kind of very… it’s almost like an awareness of two qualities at this level of experiencing – a letting go and a tightening at the same time. [pause]
It feels like I need your help here Jack.
Jack: I think there’s something about the transmission along the beam that now needs to become your focus perhaps.
Jack: Because you were concerned about the separation. But you know very well that the separation can take place and what’s left behind is not critical although there’s an attachment. And at the same time there’s this movement – not just of your own – there’s a massive movement along this beam. It’s full of movement. So I think you need to concentrate on this beam and its direction and purpose and where it’s taking you. Because it seems that it’s taking you to a kind of safety. [pause]
So is that a possibility or what is taking place now?
Alfred: Yes. It’s very useful.
Jack: Yes, it’s easy to be distracted with the body.
Alfred: It’s not only the distraction of the body, it’s a certain grasping. I need to grasp either to my body or to you. To the exclusion of where this needs to go.
Jack: The important thing is what’s taking place in this movement that began in complete darkness and now is very complex but very important. There’s something urgent and vital about this transition, or whatever you want to call it along this beam.
Alfred: There seems to be a kind of struggle that a few feet above my body.
Jack: And what about the instruction coming from the blue. Is that still present?
Alfred: No, it seems like it was leading me to that much more powerful beam that seems to be directly connected to the third eye. So, it’s along the third eye that something is proceeding.
It seems that one cannot depart from a fearful or tense body in a proper way. So, some tension…
Jack: [chuckling] So you’re going to have to let go…
Alfred: It’s very simple you know. It’s just that I’m with a kind of tension in the solar plexus and the hip and other places that seem to be like defenses against… very apparently so, very clearly so… defenses against…
Jack: Don’t try to explain them too much – they’re just there – that’s what’s there. But there is a way of focusing on the beam, focusing on where you’re going that will allow them to lessen. And knowing that you can trust something about what is happening. Maybe the breathing is also very important.
[Here Alfred tries shifting to a more comfortable position on the sofa with his hips and legs. This seems to help. Note we are running a bit longer than usual – already over an hour has elapsed since the call was first initiated.]
Alfred: By taking the right posture, something is already facilitated.
Gentle contact all around the back. A sense of being lifted. Less concern about what is being left behind and more the nature of what this movement is. [pause]
More and more recognizing that the material of the body and the material of the beam, of the light, are getting closer in quality.
Jack: Yes, the quality is always so important…
Alfred: It’s like the vibration of these two is approximating the same frequency.
The wisdom of that instruction. The release in the forehead of that holding to the denser materiality opens up to… no longer on that planet, confined with the crust of that surface… I think I see similarly my comrades being beamed so to speak… It’s like mercury – I think I mentioned that…
Jack: Yes, it’s like a mercury that is not opaque or something did you say.
But that is said from feeling. With those words. Feelings. An affirmation of belonging.
The calming down of the terror of maybe not finding the location. Of not being found. Something relaxing into that. Nothing matters of those previous preoccupations. I need to slow down my reporting.
Jack: Yes, slow down. But also don’t completely forget the power of what you had to move through which you have now moved through. It had a strong, strong power but now you’re somewhere else and that’s not an issue any more. It took quite something to pass through that.
Alfred: Yes, gratitude. [voice catching with feeling]
Jack: Yes, gratitude and your accompaniment of the others who were there with you.
Alfred: [whispered] Not abandoned. [big breath out] [pause]
Jack: [1:00:20] Is there anything that could be said, or needs to be said about where you are now?
Alfred: It’s more the transition to sound from sight. It may be a pure tone, it may be music but something incredibly soothing.
Jack: Just stay with that. There’s no need to do anything… or even report if it’s not appropriate. I think the important thing is the absorption of that sound.
Jack: Because you’ve been through something that was difficult. There’s an adjustment now… a proper kind of repose. [pause]
Alfred: With the being in the now and less in what I’ve been through there’s a change in coloration to more of the green… very peaceful… I have an association to the green of the background in the Paradise panel in Bosch’s “Garden of Earthly Delights.” Just being here. There was a transition through a circulation as if I’m now part of a much larger body. At one with that body. [pause]
My curiosity about the others is leading to some sense of gathering.
Jack: That seems very right because you’ve been through something together.
Alfred: A gathering around a perfectly round table. Complete circle. [pause]
It’s not entirely a table. It’s as if there’s a center of the table. The gathering is very large – we are about 20 or 30 beings. It feels like the brothers or people who have been through all that with me. We are shown something – it feels like a half globe. Like an amber or crystal. It’s not a table or maybe the table transformed into a viewing tool or instrument. [pause]
There’s a tendency to become fascinated with all kinds of details. I’m not allowing that.
Jack: Again, what’s important is maybe the feeling in what you’re been shown.
Alfred: Exactly. [pause]
I don’t have a great conviction but it feels like we’re being shown what preceded our departure from that planet. A kind of devastation. The surface is grey and crusted. The landscape that we were trudging through looking for our exit. A kind of a hard surface, a kind of basalt, a hardened lava.
Jack: So you’re all being shown that – interesting.
Alfred: It feels like that. [pause]
There is now a sense of transitioning to a large gathering. Perhaps a celebration or welcome. Red colors. A large hall, large space. We are expected. Not blue but red, a kind of a crimson red. [pause]
Reunited with dear ones. Feelings come. Not clear but a sense of…
With that relaxation of the forehead that was previously figuring things out. And an embrace. Can’t help it. Some beautiful woman. A partner or… It’s almost like my wife’s face you know. Someone who is loved and is loving. Great tenderness. [pause]
It’s like recognizing her face but not from this life so to speak. It’s like a perennial face of someone who has great love for me and for whom I have great love. [pause]
There’s kind of a lingering feeling of relief of the people who are there with us but also a sense of great concern about what we left behind… something incomplete that required our quick departure because not much could have been accomplished there. We were in great danger and could have even passed. And sadness, great sadness with that relief. Not like a jubilation you know.
Alfred: Yes. Exactly. That corresponded to that rapid marching, running that preceded the transition you know. That the mission had to be abandoned without completion. Great sadness now. Great remorse. Perhaps understanding the difficulty in departing from there. Ah. [big sigh] [pause]
Such sadness. Some awareness that spirits are on their transition right now, spirits that were violated. Awareness with that of current circumstances here on this planet now. [sigh]
You know, the closest I can say is that… the transitions when it’s unprepared, an abrupt transition, without preparation… [pause]
Something relaxing in the forehead again but it’s an ongoing kind of… tensing and relaxing… and the light penetrates now. Aware that there’s a purpose to this moment right now, that I’m given this awareness. Everyone around me has to endure that.
Jack: They’re feeling the same thing you are, you mean?
Alfred: Yes. Including the dear ones, whether it’s my wife, or family, or… they’re given to experience that suffering.
The value of that suffering… above, to those above us. A clear sense of where it’s flowing… that substance. [pause]
Very, very sensitive to the beating of my heart. Bare heart. Circulating some fine substance. Luminous substance. Part of an ascending flow. [pause]
Infinite, infinite… unlimited the light. My heart beats into that. It’s not my heart, it’s our heart. [pause]
Direct instruction. Direct teaching. What has to be given up… to be part of the whole. [pause]
The same clarity that has nothing to do with “me” and “I.” Some knowledge that I’ll be separated again. It’s possible still to be part of the whole with that knowledge. [pause]
Jack: Yes, a great and important teaching.
Alfred: That wish for permanence appears so clearly. What we often call ignorance or confusion is so clear… from this place.
Jack: Yes, so important to keep a link, a marker as you’ve called it to this place.
Alfred: Yes. Just so you know, and you and I can refer back to it, it is a circulatory system. It looks like what in ordinary terms would be the kind of circulation charts of human anatomy that we are familiar with except that it’s infinite and luminous. [pause]
Jack: [1:23:18] [chuckling] And this is real – not an illusion… not the illusion we usually live in.
Alfred: Right. It’s totally real. It’s the only real thing. Even now seeing how concept and images coexist with that but… and how it’s exactly the same kind of transition, Jack, you know, it’s so wonderful. The “light of day” – what we call the “light of day” actually is the darkness of the day so to speak because it obscures the stars – remember that from the pyramids? [Session 2] The same kind of phenomenon where the ordinary – daylight and objects and things – kind of covers that up. It’s almost like density. I think density captures that. But it is a density that is not out there but in my perceiving apparatus.
Jack: There’s still a connection with feeling though, right?
Jack: The feeling connection can remain even when the density has been returned to.
Alfred: Yes, yes. The experience of that is huge. It is experienced both from the inside and the outside. It’s like the vibration of the heart – which I call my heart. There’s an I-ness to that experience and yet it is definitely not confining anything.[pause]
Innocent. [long pause]
Very peaceful feeling. [pause]
A certain trust in that connection that keeps being made without pre-knowledge… and that separation is as real as the connection. All this adds more evidence to the limits in our understanding.
[big breath; sense of ending]
Jack: It’s getting on to 10 to 7.
Alfred: Oh, at 7 I need to prepare dinner. But before you said that there were some stirrings of hunger. I haven’t eaten much today in preparation for our session.
Jack you know it feels like direct instruction of what’s necessary for a transition at death.
Jack: In fact it’s a living of it in your case. You’re the one living it.
Alfred: And it’s so devastating to just… it cannot be divorced from what just happened with the light abruptly cut off, with being absolutely terrorized when there could be no preparation. It felt almost informed by that in some way.
Jack: Not much wonder your mouth was dry at the beginning. [chuckling]
Alfred: Probably something knew where we were heading.
Jack: Definitely – your body knows ahead of time. Certainly it would know.
Alfred: I’m letting that be whatever it has been. We’re living in an awful place but that’s where we…
Jack: We’re living in an awful place but in this awful place something as amazing as this comes through.
Jack: That’s what’s incredible.
Alfred: Which is a tremendous source of hope.
Jack: Yes. And a validation of something.
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What Is Breathing, Merging with the Light)