Alfred: I’d like to see if we could manage some easy access to a marker from the last session. [Rescue and Ascension]
Jack: I hope you remember because I don’t remember if there was a marker.
Alfred: The most striking thing was the perspective of being individual, still myself, in that particular incarnation but also of having a creator’s point of view, a universal point of view of the calamity.
Jack: In a way, that’s what the whole session was about.
Alfred: Yes. It was an all-penetrating light that was showing me that although that calamity of a local nature was necessary, a much larger universal trouble was being addressed.
Jack: But didn’t you feel that your blue brother was helping you in that?
Alfred: Yes. He was ascending. And now I’m beginning to have that chill – that familiar chill. Which tells us that we are close to home.
Jack: Yes. What was really interesting in that session was the ascension that took place – because, in a way, you went with him. In a way, yes; in a way, no. But there was an accompaniment in your perception of that level.
Jack: I think that is a very good place to start: that sense of ascension and that sense of a more universal point of view.
What I’m glimpsing in a certain way – and now I can see that more clearly – is that he is transformed. There’s much more white light emanating from his presence. It is still not entirely clear. It also immediately spells out a requirement for me to ascend in order to perceive that.
[pause] Do you feel that there’s still a communication taking place? I guess there’s a communication in the sense that you see something happening.
Alfred: There’s a certain kind of mountain top or peak or a need to really look up. Something is radiating from that level that has a shape and a form. I recognize it as him in his new form, a new appearance. And the light which is both… It feels material but it feels like an incredibly quick, high frequency materiality.
I entered this session with an awareness that my attention is not stable enough to stay in that light, to fully be instructed.
Jack: Yes. That makes sense.
Alfred: So that’s…
Jack: So maybe you just need to concentrate right now and see if your attention can be strengthened in this moment. Or whether there’s some other direction that needs to be taken. We don’t know at this point.
Alfred: A certain strain in the front of the head is, in a familiar way, letting go – what my ordinary mind usually equates with effort. And this opens the back of the head.
Jack: And we need to be aware not to move too quickly. That’s important too.
Alfred: Yes. Yes. It opens the whole body for reception. To the bottom of the feet. [pause]
And a gratitude for a certain kind of intelligence that begins to accumulate. Intelligence about the transition, about allowing the subconscious to lead.
[long pause] Becoming part of everything. The sense that the boundaries, the envelope of the body is totally porous. [pause]
There’s a certain residue of a belief that I can track and not be distracted. Part of me is still in a belief that I belong to this chain of bearers of light or illuminated beings. It resonates in the feelings and leads me.
Jack: Yes, that’s been felt again and again – there’s a kinship or a connection of some kind.
It’s very interesting… it feels right now that something needs to saturate, to accumulate. No action is needed in fact. I need to remain entirely open to that. And then when that transitions into some type of a mission or an action – a very, very different type of being is needed with that experience – a unity between consciousness and action that flows directly.
Jack: Yes, I think it’s because there have been enough sessions now to understand the difference – when we need to be receptive and when we need to act.
Jack: And of course, in a way, the receptivity is very active – in the sense that a lot is taking place. [long pause]
Jack: I think it’s good to see that, as it enters your consciousness. The very fact that it is entering your consciousness helps the process move forward.
Alfred: It’s the awareness. Remember we used to have all those kinds of paraphernalia and gadgets – those machines pumping blue fluid that we saw in earlier sessions. Now it seems like awareness is the vehicle through which this energy is travelling. I think so. I’m not aware of any attachments of sorts. [long pause]
The body is transformed into a body of light. [pause]
I experience those little lapses in concentration as interruptions in that flow. Little minor interruptions like a kink in a pipe.
Jack: Yes, it’s very good to see what is needed to maintain something as opposed to having it interrupted. To see it from inside yourself.
Alfred: The vision is both from the inside and from the outside. “Inside” and “outside” don’t have their usual meanings here but, every once in a while when there’s an insistence of some discursive part to comment or to know, it is experienced as an interruption – like static that blocks a signal on an otherwise crystal clear channel.
Even a misguided need to communicate to you what is going on seems to be that. So I need really to speak from inside the experience at the risk of not making sense at all.
Jack: The mind that wants to make sure it makes sense just shouldn’t be present. The mind is a mechanism so you can rely on it to do the grammar and the words.
Alfred: That’s helpful.
There is something on the threshold in the solar plexus. It’s like something is not letting go completely around that area. Or maybe is not quickened enough to participate.
Jack: Well, that’s maybe the main connection to your earthly existence so, for it to be completely quiet could be difficult. But there’s been a lot of reassurance that you’re not really in danger so I think that part is beginning to learn that there’s no danger.
Jack: At first there may be a feeling of not being able to come back but you’ve come back again and again and there’s been no problem. It’s just an interlude.
Alfred: Yes. It’s not fear – it’s almost like something needs to be a little more active. As if I’m allowing myself to be filled with something finer. But also there’s a need to be more active in identifying the source of that, and the purpose of that. Something like that… without that it’s hard to find my place in that chain of beings. [pause]
You know it seems like there’s a little preoccupation with deservedness or undeservedness. It works like a distraction. I need to let go of that.
Jack: Yes, it’s come up before; it’s familiar.
Alfred: It’s like what poor self-esteem would look like at an inter- or extra-galactic level.
Jack: It’s a familiar thing for you and for me too but to come to some understanding in this context is slightly different. Because there have been a past number of experiences where you felt inadequate – starting with the fourth session where you tried to give a warning and failed… and it wasn’t your fault at all of course.
Alfred: It feels like it’s a residue from this current incarnation that maybe continues to interfere with the reception of the energy.
Jack: As if to make it more clear that it’s important to accept that in order to move forward from that place.
Alfred: Exactly. Exactly. And it becomes a little transparent as you speak and as I’m sensing the solar plexus a little more freely. [pause] I forgot the breath and it’s like a treasure to find it.
It becomes very clear that, in a way, my wish is answered about the clarity, about my place in that chain of beings. It has nothing to do with merit. I have to take my place as we said before – consciously.
Jack: It seems to me that it’s just lawful. There is a place of course.
Alfred: Yes. [pause] Something that begins to come across or to be sensed as a wish. [pause]
It’s a very clear teaching. From the strain of the head, the opening of the head, the work, the sensitivity that has to come from the solar plexus, in all of that something is letting go, opening up to a wish, not so much my wish – not at all. It is more like a wish for me to ascend that is coming from some higher level. [pause]
Very strange image… like I’m in a vein or in some kind of channel that contracts and expands with my breath, or my breath – which is not my breath – is expanding and contracting with that channel which generates a certain kind of upward motion. The closest I can describe it is like a peristaltic movement – very organic. It wouldn’t be a river because the banks are not… it’s an organic kind of movement by the sides which are elastic. It’s clearly vertical – it’s a kind of ascent. [pause]
The body is not the current body. It’s a body that is suited to this moment. More streamlined. I register some movement and energy in the feet. Similar to that kind of tail, fish tail, that is much more suited to this kind of movement. But the breath is paralleling part of the movement of the envelope of this vessel.
I think the body is becoming more porous and light – as in illuminated – as this process continues.
It’s as if a face is forming, eyes, feeling the flow of liquid on the face, whatever is the face that gradually is forming in this light. Non-seeing eyes in the ordinary way; it’s almost eyes that are not yet mature enough to see in this substance. Clearly some kind of embryonic eyes. [pause]
The breath enters from the top of what is the head and leaves at the bottom from what is probably the tail or the appendage… and this facilitates the forward or upward movement. Almost like sensation of skin forming on the head, like a membrane or something. [pause]
It feels like a fetal formation of sorts but maybe that’s my mind speaking. But that would be the best way of describing it.
The closest description is that it is like the body of light that preceded the formation of a carnal body. That light is still present almost as an envelope. It’s not precise but close to that. It permits the formation of a body, of a more ordinary material body. [pause]
Paralleling creation you know.
It almost feels like this is the formation of an incarnation as a fetus, with the luminous envelope still very tangible but becoming less and diminishing. And I think that my brother is showing me that, reminding me of that, for some very clear purpose, Jack. I’m not just going down the tube again for another incarnation.
Alfred: Yes, exactly. And to not completely buy into existence in the flesh. Some of that luminosity needs to be remembered when I’m completely incarnated.
Wow! Jack, I expressed the wish at the beginning to be shown something that will help this incarnation
Jack: Yes, it applies. It applies to your life.
Alfred: Yes, and there is such gratitude [voice breaking] and chills of feelings to that benevolent brother. [pause]
[chuckling] I saw a picture of myself with the lederhosen which I think at some point I mentioned to you. There was a flash of me looking like a little Austrian boy… which was so alien. Perhaps that was a time when I still remembered that I’m not entirely flesh. Because I lived for a long time in different places with the feeling that I am not of this earth entirely.
It’s not complete yet. It’s almost as if I’m being shown something in advance of this process. It feels like my awareness has to move with this process. It cannot be fixated.
Jack: Yes, I think you need to follow what you’re being shown.
Alfred: Very supple.
Jack: Yes, there’s a need to be supple. [pause]
Alfred: The equivalent of that hand on my shoulder is not so much on my shoulder but connected to my solar plexus.
“I am here with you. You are learning how to trust that contact. What has been guarding you is not your mind, the mind that you trust, but something entirely different.”
Jack: [chuckling] That’s right, yes. [pause]
Alfred: You know… the thread of events… a 180 in a car that I may have told you about, almost drowning, perhaps other things as well… in that light all seem suddenly to be interventions – not chance but intention.
I was watched.
Jack: Yes, that’s right.
Alfred: Those Harner spirits that I’m reading about.
Jack: It’s very good that you’re able to feel this accompaniment.
Alfred: Yes. [pause]
It feels like something has to be paid back. What emerges is the impossibility of paying back what I’m receiving.
Jack: Yes. That sounds like a good direction.
Alfred: It will be in the nature of communication of something. It feels like that. Or sharing something or… The form is not clear but something that will hopefully lighten the suffering of others. [long pause]
It feels very specific in terms of opening to suffering – my own but even more that of others around me. I close off but I need to remain open. [pause]
It brings me closer to the light… to the edge of that… [pause]
Clearly, not to protect myself, not to tell a story. Just to allow that pain…
Jack: Allow it to enter you mean?
Alfred: Allow it to enter.
I could see a kind of a street where I was walking and seeing each human being walking and allowing their suffering – whatever is taking place in them – to be recognized. [strong emotion being felt]
Jack: That’s a very big thing.
Alfred: Yes. Where I make differences or where I compare, I need to recognize that as protection. [pause] It’s completely different relationship to suffering than a therapeutic one. It’s almost like allowing my awareness of suffering to lighten the awareness of suffering in others. The more awareness there is, or the more presence to that suffering there is, the more people can join in this light. It’s not a question of relief; it’s a question of presence.
And it brings me a whole new appreciation now, with great feeling, of the suffering that happens above me. In the suffering I’m being made aware of or shown, I’m seeing that someone is sustaining a presence in me, a capacity to be present to the suffering – that someone is my brother or whoever it is that is above me. Perhaps this is one way in which I take my place in that chain of beings.[big breath; deep emotion.] [pause]
The body is completely relaxed. Something travels from the top to the bottom, more fully, in that stream… The joy is not a joy of my own, it’s a joy that passes through the whole. [pause]
I’m being shown that from this place no fear is possible. Fear has no hold.
Jack: Wonderful! [pause]
Alfred: I think that if I had to say one thing about what I’m being taught, it’s that incarnations are not interruptions. There is a continuity of being. In a way, it frees something from the attachment to this or that incarnation. I know that this understanding will not last or survive the full return to this existence but something of it will be remembered. There’s a body of light that has been and will be. [pause]
My brother is satisfied. That’s how it feels. [big breath]
Jack: The transition has taken place.
Alfred: Yes. And now it’s up to me, exactly in the way I communicated to you earlier, to be active in relation to what has been given. Active, not in an ordinary way, but finding, searching for a true way to be with this. [pause]
Jack: It strikes me that it’s like finding a better balance – between these two worlds.
Alfred: That’s it exactly. And exactly the request I made. I was praying for that – not to be so afraid of that other world. Not to project so much strangeness on it.
Jack: Right. [pause]
Alfred: It’s very different now opening my eyes in my own room. The impulse to orient myself is less pronounced, the impulse to notice the differences between states is also less pronounced. It’s more just allowing whatever needs to take place. There is still a sense of a certain kind of lightness in the back. It’s a matter of gradations: how much space the planetary body that is here is occupying with respect to the light body. Does that make sense?
Alfred: It is occupying significantly more space but not the whole space, you know. It’s really amazing.
Jack: Well, it’s your position between them. You’re feeling a movement back but you’re feeling that the movement back doesn’t have to be as complete as used to be perhaps.
Alfred: I don’t need to seize that incarnation…
Jack: No, you don’t need to hold on to anything.
Alfred: … as an assertion of something, as a denial of something else.
I’m very grateful to have you with me.
Jack: I’m very privileged to be part of it.
It will be interesting to see what transpires now.
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What Is Breathing, Merging with the Light)