Jack: It may take a little time at the beginning because we’ve been speaking of other things but the organism already knows how to allow the body to connect to the quiet, a quiet that is more and more present. And how you need to allow yourself to be really prepared for a kind of submission to what might take place without any expectation and without any nervousness. And also an acceptance of the fact that whatever this process is that we are engaged in, it is really being directed from another level. It’s not simply coming from the mind of either one of us.
Maybe you could say if there’s anything beginning for you, if you’re ready…
Alfred: Gathering concentration particularly along the back. Relaxing the front. The body is already not the ordinary body.
Jack: Yes, it’s like being attuned. There’s an attunement that takes place so that you can sense more and more clearly that we’re talking about another body, which is where you’re going to operate from.
Alfred: It’s good to find the marks left on my wrists and ankles… still there from our session on Monday. They guide me.
Jack: Is there a sensation involved or is that visual?
Alfred: Yes, it’s a sensation. It’s like equipment or something that is… There’s a purpose. Something being monitored. [pause]
I want to say that actually it’s part of a larger machine or equipment where some type of IV-like tubes are attached with blue fluid moving through them. Last time only the attachment was visible. [pause]
Jack: There’s more detail now?
Alfred: The detail is the tubes that are being filled to circulate this blue fluid. [pause]
There’s a glimpse of a hallway with beds with others who have this same kind of attachment as if it could be part of a whole ward or unit. This is what is being administered.
Jack: And are you aware of any presences directing all of this.
Alfred: Just to say there’s a recessed ceiling with windows and apertures. We’re being observed. But I’m losing the sensation that needs to be maintained because I’m beginning to be fascinated by the equipment.
Jack: Be careful.
Alfred: You see it’s not very clear – the body to which this is attached is… It feels like it has appendages similar to what I have now. It’s hard to get an impression of this other body. I would like to have more definition. [pause]
Jack: Yes, but be careful that it’s not just curiosity – we left the last session with a need for you to continue a mission so just stay with what you need to know to do that, to further the mission that you’ve begun. Maybe part of what you’re seeing now is related to this, but be aware of your focus in what’s taking place. [pause]
Alfred: There’s an image of a brain – must be a brain – much, much larger than what I’m used to seeing which would have veins with red blood but the whole circulation is with blue blood, with that blue substance. It’s like a transparency, the brain is visible it’s not…
Jack: It’s not clear if it’s your brain or something else?
Alfred: It’s clear – as if I was seeing a brain anatomically, one which has far larger frontal lobes and cortex. The external circulatory system is blue. [pause]
Jack: When you say “external” do you mean it’s external to the brain?
Alfred: It’s kind of external. Maybe it’s protected by… maybe there’s a transparent shield to it but it’s not a skull.
Jack: So there is no skull?
Alfred: No. [pause]
Jack: I guess there doesn’t need to be one because of the circumstances.
Alfred: Or perhaps it’s a special place for a procedure like… I’m almost tempted to say I’m a patient… something is happening… like changing blood types from red to blue. Conversion. [pause]
Jack: And as you concentrate on sensation in the body what information do you receive?
Alfred: There’s a kind of anticipatory fear in the solar plexus.
Jack: I see.
Alfred: Kind of a constriction. Which is very clear. I’m just in front of it. Like a kind of anticipation that I’m about to find out what this is about and expecting bad news of some sort.
Jack: Well that’s a natural human reaction about something that’s unknown and it’s also complex, not usual.
Alfred: Hmm. Someone is holding my hand. A blue hand.
Jack: It may be important to sense the feeling…
Alfred: A wonderful feeling of reassurance.
Jack: So you can trust this. That’s why they’re holding your hand.
Alfred: A sense of wellbeing is spreading from this contact. It felt like we were calling the guardians before – just as the session started and it seems like someone has arrived.
Jack: Did you say guardians?
Alfred: Yes. Our blue guardians. I clearly see a blue-skinned hand. I’m not sure it has nails.
Jack: Touching yours right?
Alfred: Yes. Just holding mine which may be blue too but there are differences in saturation of that blue. And that’s something that has come again and again – the shades of blue – the degrees of saturation – are somehow related to the level of development. The more senior ones are a deeper blue. The leaders are darker, more of an indigo. And [chuckle] I am a pale one – a novice.
Jack: Well, very good to feel that reassurance. To feel a contact also.
Alfred: It’s a contact that is in the hand but also in the whole body. A kind of warmth. [pause]
Alfred: There is a sense of where it might be going, which is an immersion in a kind of darker blue, in a pool or something like that. I had this sensation before when there was a lack of complete trust that I could breathe through the transition into that density. It feels like a certain kind of fear.
Jack: Again the fear of being able to breathe.
Alfred: Yes. A kind of apprehension. [pause] I need to just stay with that. With the hand holding me. It feels as if that being is staying with me as long as it will take for me to not be afraid.
Jack: Yes, we each have our own make up and fear is very natural with something unknown. But you’ve also had the experience of being able to breathe already in several new environments.
Alfred: The importance of not being afraid is not in order to do something or to get somewhere – into that immersion pool or whatever. It is more that full awareness is necessary and unless that condition is met there is no point in it. It’s like a consciousness that needs to grow.
Jack: Yes, the consciousness needs to be there, so you need to have this process take place while you’re fully aware that it is taking place.
Alfred: Exactly. There’s no bypassing that. It’s a condition. There’s an understanding that comes with that that begins to dissolve the fear in the solar plexus.
Jack: I think there’s a truth in the fact that the previous sessions have been a preparation. [pause] Also now you have the contact with that hand which is something new and very reassuring. You know now that the feeling is something you can trust because of the quality of it – a very specific quality.
Alfred: Yes. [pause] Discovering the breathing behind the breathing behind the breathing. [pause] The hand is clearly related to my father the abbot – that kind of presence. Benevolent.
Jack: The same quality of feeling right?
Alfred: Again, I’m not completely giving myself to that feeling.
Jack: [chuckle] What is it that needs to be given up?
Alfred: Nothing much. Only the known. The known breathing.
Jack: You need to give up the fear. Is there a fear of your own extinction?
Alfred: No. But it’s almost like a fear of past extinctions.
Alfred: You know what I mean. Confusing the past with the future. There might have been a drowning.
Something interesting is happening… it took me past this… I actually know now that it will be all right. It cannot be otherwise with the hand, the holding of my hand.
Jack: Yes, I think you need to be clear about the very, very special quality of that touch and the emanation that penetrates all through the body.
Alfred: Clearly. It’s a kind of a loss of boundaries. Realizing that the inside is as blue as the outside. Immersion is not scary. Wow. Such wisdom.
I have nothing to protect. I am immersed in my own substance, the same substance that I’m made of. Now it makes clear why the transfusion was necessary. It brought me to the same system. It’s like a pressure tank when diving where the vibrational intensity is equalized. [pause]
That’s it. No difference. I think I’m blue. [pause] It’s so interesting. The skin is actually bluish. Darker than it was previously.
Jack: It’s like a rite of passage.
Alfred: Exactly. [pause] There’s a kind of joy of a reunion on the other side. [pause]
Jack: So you feel that you’re joining others now is that it?
Alfred: There is a sense of that but I can’t make out the faces because I’m still so taken by the transformation. Wow, I didn’t know it would be with all these people… I didn’t know that was what I feared. Now I see that I belong here.
Jack: Yes. Is this why the transfusion was necessary?
Alfred: Jack, it’s like we’re so happy to see you and everything went really well and now we’ll put you to work. We have stuff for you to do. The purpose of all this will now be revealed to you.
I’m kind of part of that astonishment. It begins to abate. OK… and now what? There’s something that’s needed now.
Jack: But there’s a sense that all of this was very necessary right? In order to reach this level.
Alfred: Yes, very necessary. It wasn’t so that now I could go for a massage or have chocolates. [pause] Those casual comments take me away.
Jack: Be careful. There’s a part of mind that likes to play. Don’t get lost. You needed your hand held through the transition but now there’s something else possible because you are ready for another step.
Jack: Try to concentrate on the contact with the others.
There is a kind of gathering around a large table, an oval table. I take my place. People know each other. Chatting. All blue of course. Features are… Eyes are much larger. Large heads. Not human proportions. Two or three times larger. Maybe not that much larger. Not grotesque – but definitely larger.
Jack: But is it a regular face even though the eyes are larger and the head is larger?
Alfred: I would say so. The nose seems to be just flat nostrils – not a formed nose. [pause] Not too different from human features. Just a bit different. You notice that the proportions are different – maybe larger. The ears.
Jack: Let’s not worry too much about that aspect because there’s a purpose for this gathering.
Alfred: That’s right.
Jack: Maybe we need to concentrate on that.
Alfred: Also, those creatures, those people, seem to be less form-bound. It seems like the form is just what is taken for this occasion.
Jack: So just a form for this occasion.
Alfred: Yes. It doesn’t feel like it’s permanent. But it’s convenient – the necessary form for this gathering. Much more fluid. It doesn’t feel like there’s a skeleton. That’s what we do now when we’re in a meeting. It may appear entirely different in a different set of conditions.
Jack: So there’s a getting to know and chatting but there must be a more formal part of the meeting at some point?
Alfred: Yes. There’s a certain arrival of some being of authority that is anticipated. I need to be in contact with the body. I’m getting lost in the conversation.
Jack: Do that. Very good. Take your time. [long pause; breathing deeply]
Jack: Resonates in the hara? [responding to a movement of Alfred’s hands]
Alfred: In the hara. In the whole body but centered around the hara which makes it clear that I’m being instructed… some knowledge… some transmission. [long pause]
It’s like images and information in some form is being communicated very rapidly. Like a download. I think some knowledge about planets. That’s what it feels like… like slides of different images of planets and somehow they relate to something… An ordinary way of saying it would be that it’s like a geography lesson. But it has some purpose. It has some urgency. It’s not just abstract knowledge. It’s something I’m going to use.
Hmm. The forehead was contracting as if I was thinking. My ordinary way of frowning when I’m concentrating. [pause]
I’m online with all those creatures, with everybody in the room. Wireless connections. Wifi.
Jack: Vibrational. Just transmission.
Alfred: Yes. Feels like a briefing about a kind of mission. Being prepared for a mission. Images of the local life, beliefs and languages, foods, atmospheric conditions. All of that.
Jack: Anything about your role and why an intervention is being planned – or is there an intervention being planned?
Alfred: I’m feeling like I’m more like a novice or a recent recruit. It doesn’t feel like I’m in charge of it.
Jack: You’re not in charge but you all have a task…
Alfred: There’s some urgency. It’s a bit like “special forces.”
Jack: Is there any sense of where the target is, the planet that you’re talking about. Or maybe it’s more than one.
Alfred: The image, very fleeting and quick, is of what we would call primitives. Arrows, huts, people with facial markings. Aboriginals. Something like that. [pause] People with primitive weapons, lances. A suggestion that there might be a war taking place. Some destructive process that needs to be interrupted. [pause]
I think we move now to the equipment. Getting our gear on. Like regulation combat gear of sorts.
Jack: You may need some protective gear – is that the problem?
Alfred: It feels like it. Exactly. It feels like I’m slipping my feet into pant legs or suit legs that feel a little more rigid. Putting on a jacket. Feels like another layer. Yes, I’m inside a suit. [pause]
Although we’re going a great distance, I’m aware that the trip will be extremely short. So it takes everything to… This brief awareness for this trip requires everything. No distractions. [long pause] Sense of floating. I think we’re landing perhaps. Soft landing.
As the launch was taking place my watch vibrated. I just bought this Apple watch. Just at that very moment it chose to vibrate. Very interesting. I was lost from that and now I’m… almost like… kind of a blanking. So I’m not entirely clear what happened between the launch and the landing. There’s a little gap.
Jack: Well that’s what happens when you go to warp speed, when you have to travel a long way in a short time… so you maybe dematerialize and then re-materialize. There would be a gap.
Alfred: That’s what it felt like. Exactly. A complete blank. But it felt binary. Total absence and then wow now I’m here.
Jack: A flickering.
Alfred: It doesn’t feel bad. It feels lawful as if I just lapsed in my awareness or intention. It’s almost like what preceded prepared me for that.
I don’t know if it’s liquid or soft sand. I’m not alone. The group is there with me. Softly around me. [pause]
It feels like there are some structures that I would call dwellings. Strange looking, pointy. Not clear what material they’re made of, almost the same material as the planet like as if it’s carved but it’s protruding. Not much activity – almost like a ghost city.
There’s a kind of apprehension about some horror, witnessing some scenes of great violence, or the aftermath of some horrible destruction. [pause]
The feeling is that it was preventable, almost that this was known, and this is the job for the novice blues. For the deck hands to do the cleanup after a destruction has happened. Finding and correcting what needs to be corrected. Setting right whatever needs to be set right. And yet it’s not for us to interfere. That’s what it feels like.
Alfred: No. No – the place is completely deserted… like a nuclear event took place or something. Some massive kind of destruction. It’s like the planet has been emptied. Horrible. In that particular location. We’re a cosmic cleanup team.
Jack: But I’m not clear what you’re cleaning up… just the destruction?
Alfred: There’s almost something like a search for souls… of sorts. Something that could be rescued or salvaged.
Jack: Maybe some rescuing to do…
Alfred: Perhaps, yes. More rescue than prevention.
Jack: So what happened was allowed to happen?
Alfred: Yes. I’m kind of digging under the surface of the planet, or entering it. [pause] You know I had a horrible thought – that’s what an Alpine village would look like after a nuclear holocaust. Like how the structure would shrivel; it would be unrecognizable for us. Yellow and charred? It’s not an ordinary fire. Something has consumed all of this.
Jack: Or heat so intense that it melted?
Alfred: Yes, the buildings look like they melted. Exactly. The windows are not square. Melted and then fixed into…
Jack: Then it solidifies into a weird shape.
Alfred: Yes, like plastic would do when it’s heated.
But you know, my group and myself – there’s no emotions, no dread. It feels like that’s what happens. I’m surprised that there’s no horror. [pause]
Jack: Well, just stay with what is. Don’t speculate. That’s where you are and that’s what’s taking place. There’s probably a reason why you are receiving it that way. You’re not receiving it from a human point of view exactly.
Alfred: There are more skeletons and more details about that… that scene. [pause] It’s like an experiment that didn’t succeed. Somehow we’re looking into the results of what happened. It’s important to realize that those creatures failed to evolve. It’s more like a scientific attitude than horror. I’m not one of the victims but one of those who had hopes for those beings… one of those who were providing the right conditions for them to evolve… [long pause]
Jack: Is some of what you’re doing just gathering information then?
Alfred: It’s more than that. Something that emerges is a sense of gathering information and learning about some insufficiency.
Jack: I see.
Alfred: Somehow it was our responsibility that this not happen. Something was not provided. I’m not entirely sure about that… something unexpected or unanticipated happened with that experiment. It’s a fact-finding mission. How is it that it failed? It’s an investigative committee.
Jack: Is there interaction with your team members?
Alfred: It’s like comparing, looking at fragments of things and trying to piece things together. [pause] There’s a feeling of remorse to it as well but it’s not very profound. It feels almost intellectual.
Jack: You’re just doing your job.
Alfred: Not much compassion for those people in what appears to be a scene of great suffering. So strange. [pause]
Jack: There was destruction but do you know that there was suffering?
Alfred: Something is needed of us as a group. A kind of a contact. A circle and holding hands. A need for great concentration in order to correct something. [pause]
It’s like color is coming back to that area… that’s right, it looks more like an Alpine spring – not snowy but more like Alpine meadows you know. Just a flash of the way it was prior to that gathering.
Jack: The gathering has something to do with this?
Alfred: Yes, absolutely. It’s like revitalizing something…
Jack: You’re revitalizing?
Alfred: Yes. It takes everything we have. The purpose of our arriving there is now very clear.
Jack: Yes, the purpose is now clear.
Alfred: What struck me is the green of that, and the flowers, and the red roofs. Ah the feelings. [sigh] Life is returning to the charred earth. It’s very clear that our feet are on that planet and with our bodies we are transferring energy to the ground. I see the circle almost from the outside. A perfect circle of blue creatures. Blue humanoids. I’m one of them but I’m seeing it now from outside the circle. Perhaps from the ship… or from another planet… we’re revitalizing that planet… it’s very… [long pause]
I’m stroking a sheep on that meadow, like someone who’s unfamiliar with sheep, just… I have my hand, my fingers in its hair, kind of bushy, black, brownish overgrown sheep’s wool. An unfamiliar creature but I have great affection for this sheep. There’s a herd of sheep grazing.
Jack: So now there is feeling…
Alfred: Yes there is.
Jack: Because life has been restored.
Alfred: Yes. I can see some shepherd-type of elder Swiss fellow. Carved stick and he’s communicating something to the sheep. My hand is blue in its hair now. [intonation of surprise] No nails. Why would you need nails?
Jack: Of course, why would you need nails?
Alfred: I’m ready to go home.
Jack: Maybe there needs to be some transition. Not that you just suddenly leave this team hanging but…
Alfred: No, I need to stay with them for the departure. You see there was a gathering… and a toast. There must be a toast. I actually care about those sheep and those houses. The houses are now filled with life. Windows open. I see curtains in the wind, the breeze. Very clear. Clear skies. There’s a memory of what was there before too with that. No contradiction.
I think we’re getting ready for the jetway or something.
Jack: The ship?
Alfred: Yes. The suit and all.
Jack: There must be a feeling of relaxation having finished the job.
Alfred: And a growing camaraderie – we lived through something together. Almost having learned about the travel that I am ready and can give myself to that. The blankness.
Jack: Give yourself to what?
Alfred: Give myself to that blankness of the travel. That gap.
Jack: Yes, yes. The gap. Because you know it’s necessary in order to get home.
Alfred: You know Jack, some old part of me is sitting on my shoulder saying, “You know I made it all up.”
Jack: The fact that what you described is felt very strongly is a clear indication that it’s not invented because you can’t invent those feelings.
Alfred: Yes, that feeling of touching the sheep – that earthly creature – right there in that meadow – and the flowers too – it felt like an affirmation of life.
Jack: And remember the blue hand that is touching the wool.
Alfred: [with feeling] That’s right. That’s right. [big breath].
Jack: And there’s something about that phrase – “the cosmic cleanup team” – it’s a bit cute mind you but nevertheless it is a good description. Something was being repaired.
Alfred: Yes. In the sense that it’s been seen before. It’s something that we’re trained to do. And that circle is a made for that… Everything prepared us for that.
Jack: That’s what was going on at the oval table, right? A preparation.
Alfred: Yes. [with great feeling] But the circle… the circle… it’s like breathing life into that… breathing life into that… into that space.
Jack: Into that ruined space.
Alfred: Such an affirmation of the goodness of the force, you know. Love. [the last word whispered]
It’s so clear that there was some kind of a crossing over where I’m not experiencing the destruction from the side of the destroyed but from the side of the… of the blues. I was in both but I was not identified with either.
Jack: Maybe that’s why there was no emotion about the destruction.
Alfred: It felt like the nature of, the purpose of my being there is entirely different from what was being destroyed in that disaster.
Alfred: And the precision of the teaching process. It was so accurate and so clear. Everybody knew what needed to happen. That took place in the briefing room. I wonder if this might remain as we move to our regular state.
Jack: What might remain? The briefing?
Alfred: That sense of necessity, that sense of clarity. There’s no difference between what I know and the action that needs to be taken. Am I saying it clearly?
Jack: You know and you move.
Alfred: That’s exactly it. The connection is not through the mind.
Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What Is Breathing, Merging with the Light)