(© Jack Cain 2014, text and images)
Angela: I feel like I am lying on dirt. There is an image of a thorny cross right above me, a wooden cross. It is surrounded by a lot of shrubbery and thorns. There is an image of a pirate skull and crossbones and I hear a different language being spoken. The language sounds very South Pacific, maybe Tahiti. And there is the image of a cobra, a Kali cobra, the Hindu deity.
Jack: What clothes are you wearing?
Angela: I feel like I’m in black. Some kind of ritual is going on and I sense the presence of a priest. I don’t know if he is Catholic or indigenous. I don’t like to say it, but it seems like a ritual of exorcism – an expelling of something, a driving out of something. I hear rattles.
Jack: What is taking place in your body?
Angela: There is a sensation in the upper chest that moves up into the throat; also in my right and left biceps. My legs feel heavy – not paralyzed but just heavy. And I feel some trepidation about what is taking place but there’s a deeper knowing that it’s for my own good. It feels like a cleansing and it reminds me of earlier in the week when I laid down on the floor of my room near my altar and asked what I should do about the chaos in my life. At that time too I had the sense of a knot, of something that needed to be gotten rid of.
Jack: What is taking place now?
Angela: I feel that a black blanket is being placed over my face and over my body. I feel it on my stomach. There is a cobra in the blanket. It is wrapped up in the blanket and is resting on my stomach. It feels so healing and so powerful – and, by the way, I hate snakes, I just hate snakes.
Jack: If you concentrate on the healing and on the power then you can feel that some kind of transformation taking place…
Angela: What I hear is that the cobra is the one of the most toxic animals and for that reason it knows how to deal with the great toxicity that is in me. I can feel it merge with my stomach, with my intestines so it can suck that energy out. It’s a replacing of sorts. It moves from the left side to the right side of my stomach. I can feel it move. The energy now is heavier on the right side; I can feel it now in my right ovary.
Jack: You now have a conscious awareness of the process that is taking place so you an actively cooperate. You can feel the necessity for that deep toxicity to move out – a kind of venom that is moving out into the cobra who of course knows how to deal with it because it is part of its nature. In fact, it’s a kind of co-operation, a kind of collaboration between two beings – you and the cobra – and it may actually be useful to the cobra. Very good to feel the sensation of that movement in the body. It’s a movement of energy of course.
Angela: Now I can feel it. I can literally see waves. With my eyes closed I can see it all converging towards my belly button. It has created a hub right on my belly button, and it spirals out into white light. That black cobra is pure energy right now that is spiraling into white light. And I get images of lightning bolts coming back down into me. I feel the charge – a jolt, a zap. The cobra is the conduit between me and the heavens.
Jack: A very powerful transformation is taking place there. Would you say that there is now light in the body and that the toxicity has moved off into the cobra?
Angela: Yes, yes, and I even started to see the beginnings of a woman’s head – like a Lakshmi or a Balinese woman – you know how beautiful they are in Balinese folk art dances. The head is adorned, and jeweled. I can see the top of a woman’s head and she is dancing around me.
Jack: So this is now like a celebration of what has been accomplished. Great beauty now raining down upon you I would say.
Angela: Coins are being placed on my body – especially on my stomach. And a pumpkin, a calabash. There is honey and milk and rosewater. It’s like a puja.
Jack: Absorb the qualities of those things – honey, milk and rosewater. Each of them has its own perfume and nature and substance. Feel how this is all part of the celebration of everything that has taken place – that you are now part of that celebration, part of that beauty. And all that is possible because of what has been moved out of the body. Feel the movement of all those qualities within.
Angela: There is so much gold. Gold veils, gold coins. The feeling of moving through liquid gold.
Jack: What’s the feeling in the physical body now?
Angela: My tongue tastes sweet. I feel a lightness in the lower part of my back as if someone has placing their palm on the small of my back and is holding me – or levitating. I see this image of me going up – not leaving the earth but it is all part of the transformation. A feeling of weightlessness, a feeling of floating.
And joy, so much joy, literally joy ringing in my ears. It folds up. I hear the word “bundle – like on a Peruvian altar – I feel that an offering was made on myself.
Now everything – all the gold coins, even silver coins, the pumpkin – all of that gets wrapped into a little ball and that ball… It looks black on the outside but on the inside it’s just gold and it goes into my body – into a position above the belly button but not as high as the sternum. It goes in deep. It feels like a spiritual surgery.
Jack: Yes, it is a spiritual surgery and it has it’s own precision. It’s very precise. There is an exact location in the body. A new foundation is being laid down, a foundation that Angela can depend on.
Angela: My mind wants to hear the story behind that, how did the ball get formed and so on, but what I hear is, “Don’t worry about that. You already know, you already experienced that. Focus on what is. Focus on now.” It feels to me like a medicine ball. This ball is like a pacemaker, a pacemaker for joy.
Jack: That’s beautiful – a pacemaker for joy.
Angela: And I worry – will it run out.
Jack: [both laughing] You mean like that toy bunny with the wrong battery!
Angela: Actually, it takes me to the idea of a garden – a garden never runs out. I can grow it more if I tend to that joy, if I tend to that love and if I tend to that richness and beauty and abundance that’s inside me. If I do that, it will spread like wildfire. I see orange and gold blooming into this beautiful flower inside of my body. And outside I literally turn into a beautiful… have you seen the Indian marigold ceremonies – in celebrations and ceremonies garlands of marigolds are put all around the deities, and around all the people. That’s what I see happening. I definitely hear, “Tend to that, tend to that place of joy inside of you.”
I get the image of glasses, someone is handing me glasses and saying, “Look at that, look at the joy!”
Jack: Yes, very important to feel that deeply now, feeling that there is that resource inside and that resource is something you can draw on without it ever being depleted. It’s an infinite resource that’s inside you now – something you can count on, something that is everlasting – a source of joy. It’s there. It’s inside you. It’s possible to draw on it whenever you need. And, as was just said, you need to be in present moment, to concentrate on now and to tame that part of the mind that wants to have an explanation because you don’t need the explanation, you need the experience and you are having the experience – the experience of feeling that joy – very, very deeply feeling it move into the body and all through the body. Feel that ball of joy, that energy, everything that’s been wrapped up into a single sphere. It’s like a world inside you, a world of it’s own.
Angela: Yes, it feels like a compass – that’s what comes into my mind. I can feel it turning. I feel it as a compass.
Jack: Yes, as you connect to that and as you feel its movement, you know now that it will help you direct yourself as you have things come at you in life – what you called the chaos, but it’s just the movement of life – everything is taking place in a very natural way, all of that movement of life is happening around you. You need to have that compass so you find your way through it without coming up against anything – because there’s always a path through when you have the right instrument to help you. So here now you have that compass – you know that oh, here now I need to go a bit to the left, or to the right, or whatever and I’ll find my way through these difficulties – whatever these difficulties are… You’ve got this new resource inside – which of course is not new – it’s old, as old as time itself. It’s something that’s there from long ago but it was forgotten. Re-establishing a relationship with that part, that part of you that knows and can know joy – feeling that now in the present moment, feeling it moving through the body and through the mind. Even that part of the mind that wants to know “this, that and the other” can be a little quieter now. It can continue to ask its questions – that’s its nature and it needs to do that in life but right now the real focus is on the connection to that place – a very, very deep connection inside, a connection to those colors – particularly that marigold color. How is it for you now at this moment?
Angela: I saw this image of swimming in the ocean and initially feeling like I had a ball and chain attached to my foot. As if this was a test – I’m being taken to the ocean and dropped in along with that ball and chain. And I could hear the guide and the guidance, “Just take it off!” And I did! And I swam, and I swam like no other, like dolphin power swimming. It’s so simple – just take it off!
Jack: Sometime things are so simple – just take it off – you don’t need to have that heavy weight pulling you down.
Angela: I can feel that now from the crown of my head down to the tips of my toes. I am letting myself feel that joy. I hear that I’ve been attracted to the weight.
Jack: That’s right. You’ve been focusing on the weight – on the chaos.
Angela: I’ve been seeking out that weight and actually now I get this image of me now looking internally at the spot inside. Now I’m seeing that joy, I’m seeking out that happiness. The image of glasses of joy being offered comes back to me now as well.
Jack: When we’ve carried something for a long time it can be hard to let go of it. But now you have had this contact, you have been given what you need in order to let go. Once you’ve been used to focusing on something for a very long time, it’s hard to make that shift on your own. So with this help – the help of the exorcism and the help of the integration now of this ball of joy that’s there inside you – and you know exactly where it’s located – you know that it provides you with a direction through difficulties. And there’s even been a test now – a test that shows you that you can just drop the heaviness. You can let go of it because you know that there is something else. Now you know that you have this amazing alternative inside you right now. You have felt it there, it’s still there, it will be there tomorrow and the next day. Whenever necessary you can connect to that part inside, connect to that joy, in whatever situation life presents you with you know you have a resource now inside that’s really going to be there for you.
I think we’re done; I don’t think we need to talk any more… [both laughing]
Angela: Yes, I hear the words, “Case closed.” And I get the image of a book shutting. It morphs into a crown and it just rests and absorbs into that area.
Jack: So you feel a crown.
Angela: Yes, I feel that crown.
Jack: Can you describe it at all?
Angela: It’s a beautiful gold crown, like the gold of Indian gold bangles. If I look closely there are specks of diamond and sapphire – there’s some black diamond and ruby. I see a lot of etching on it – so it’s not like a typical European crown. Everything is embedded into this crown. The patterns are geometric – like triangles for example – there is nothing swirly. There are stars, little asterisks, with five points.
It is so coincidental that all this – when you think about the Orishas – all of this imagery is coming from Oshun. She owns the pumpkin. She owns gold coins. She owns the marigold. This has her handwriting, her graffiti tag mark all over it. [laughing] I was saying, “I don’t want to hear from you all” – I’m not expecting you all to show up because this is my ritual space and you’re supposed to come when you’re summoned but they’re here.
Jack: Of course they’re here because you have made a strong contact with them before when we last worked. And of course they want to participate too.
Angela: I can feel that presence. It feels more like an ancestor. It feels like someone who was very close to her, my great-grandmother. Just holding me. … They are here; they want to participate too. I feel a presence. Someone close – just holding me.
Jack: I’m just going to leave you at that spot and I think you should just take your time, find your own way now to begin your day from that spot, very gently taking with you that perception, that sensation, that knowledge of what is now inside you that can be drawn on as a resource. Bye for now.
Angela: Bye. Take care. Thank you.