(Copyright © Jack Cain 2013, text and images)
In this session with Samuel, the usual deep experience was accompanied by a clear delineation of the movement between the realms of the mundane and the divine. Very instructive.
Jack: We’re so cut off from a larger view. I keep going back to the statement that Gurdjieff makes in the “Hypnotism” chapter: the reason we have this divided consciousness and the reason that the larger part of our consciousness, the subconscious, is not available most of the time, is because we lack a sufficiently “wide horizon” and we quickly forget.
Samuel: Wow. That’s an amazing statement. What a beautiful image.
Jack: Yes. The lack of a sufficiently broad horizon. You see it in yourself and you see it in others all around you. But in a session you get an experience of the possibility of how much broader it could be.
Samuel: It’s interesting – as you bring that up, I’m revisiting these broad horizons in the sessions that we’ve had – beginning with the broad horizon of the lake with the mountains in the distance. [First session; not posted.]
Jack: Yes, there was a broad horizon there too.
Samuel: And even within that session going down deep into the waters and emerging in this spacious universe that had a limitless horizon. And then the horizon on the beach in that village where the baptism took place. [Posted session: “The Disciples.”]
Samuel: And then the last time I was in this location, the session where there were these guides. [Posted session: “Kindly Bent to Ease Us.”]
Jack: Yes, “guardians” you called them.
Samuel: Yes, guardians who visited me. I remember they were involved in something inside my chest but they kept looking out into the distance. They were looking to the horizon. And, in the meditation on the deck that I had had before the session, they were looking out as if they were searching some distant, distant view. They were connecting with a very distant horizon.
Samuel: And they were calling me, literally calling me to look in that direction.
Jack: So I think that’s a way of us beginning – beginning with the word “horizon” and with what you’re saying.
Jack: So I think you should just see how you can transition…
I think a part of what we’re doing Samuel is for you to develop your own movement into these states that require something special. I’m facilitating it somewhat but… Each time we do this there’s a knowledge being accumulated, a knowledge of what’s required in order to make this transition. I think it’s happening as you’ve been speaking – especially in the last minute or two. And it’s a matter of following that direction because it points the way for you.
Samuel: Yes. It’s a deep letting go is what it is. And it’s an exercising of a very particular capability.
Samuel: And to recognize it even in its nascent or partial guises. Just sitting at the breakfast table this morning in anticipation of this session I had a sense of moving into a realm that also included my sitting there. It was still of the particulars all around me but it began to draw me into a much larger embrace.
Jack: Yes. Much larger embrace.
And at the same time that there’s this movement taking place, I think it’s also important for there to be a sense that there’s a unique possibility in this moment as we work together here. There’s something about this moment, today, right now that has its own unique potential for you to find, or experience, or communicate or… Something is uniquely possible. And it’s a question of allowing, as you say, a deep, deep relaxation so that you can be taken to, or you can travel, or you can be where you need to be in order to be in touch with what you need to be in touch with.
Sometimes you need to just think of your own “transport mechanism” if I could put it that way – your own vehicle, your own way of doing that. I think it’s always better that that come from your resources because you need to have your own resources and you do of course. And it shouldn’t be me prescribing anything for sure – I try hard not to do that. But I do encourage you to be in the movement.
Samuel: As I’m lying here, the skies are opening up again.
Jack: Ah, good.
Samuel: My eyes are closed so it’s nothing to do with the weather outside. There’s this parting of the clouds and this beautiful light that I’m called to. This is a theme isn’t it?
I’m called to this light and I’m called to have it infuse me, to be infused by it. I felt that infusing at moments during the two recent retreat weekends. It didn’t have to do with what I was doing. It was a calling. Not as strong as in the moments when we’ve worked together which have been incredibly powerful. But I recognize them as part of a – I keep saying “a calling.” It’s something I need to inhabit or I need to have it inhabit me. I feel it now.
Samuel: And it’s an embodiment.
Jack, it’s an embodiment that in a way is impersonal. More and more in my sittings, I can see the personal.
Samuel: I can see my ego and how it is a veil.
Samuel: A veil that needs to be pulled back. And it’s pulled back by the recognition of it from another place. It’s not an act of my repressing it.
Jack: Right. Definitely not.
Samuel: It’s a very simple recognition that it is diminishing the healing and the nourishing illumination. It’s in the way of receiving the light. And it’s so simple. I mean it’s so clear how my imagination and my associations occupy a space. But right now I realize that that equation is what changes entirely in this other realm.
Samuel: It’s not as if the ego takes up a huge amount of space and then the ego diminishes. It’s that the space itself gets larger. I don’t know if that makes any sense – things are the other way around. The ego remains just the way it is in its realm – but it is included. It’s not a diminishing of the ego – that’s the important thing – but its inclusion in a larger world. Not only a larger world – an infinite world. [pause]
Jack: Yes, so let’s just see where the next important thing or movement is – already you’ve arrived in a certain place.
Samuel: [assurance in the intonation] I now know these places that we visited and they’re more available to me in a certain way though I don’t want them to be relegated to some fixed memory of them. Right now it’s not that. Each time that I come back there’s a vibrancy to these realms and though there are certain images that recur, there’s something new about it each time. Some deeper detail.
Such as my head going into the water and then coming out and the drops of water glistening in the sunlight of this morning on this beach. I’m right there now with my face coming out of the water into the light. [Return to what took place in “The Disciples.”]
Jack: Good. Good.
Samuel: And just the splash of the water going into the sunlight. So beautiful.
And then rising up. Completely out of the water and up into the air. Just being pulled up into the air. Like a rag doll.
With no physical… I don’t feel anyone is pulling me up. I’m just going up. I’m becoming part of the… It’s such a strange feeling to become a part of the atmosphere. It’s a decorporalization – the body disappearing as the sky sort of interpenetrates.
It’s going back and forth between my experience of it in my body now and my image of it. It’s a strange combination of those two things. I can see a little bit of the distinction between my imagination of it and actually inhabiting the realm. That’s an important distinction.
Jack: Yes, very important.
Samuel: That it doesn’t… That it’s… I’m being careful not to judge it, but… There’s a compelling aspect to the dream of it, as opposed to this other kind of work, which is to be inhabited. I’m not distinct from my picture of it. I am the picture of it.
And right now being very large and above the beach – seeing this harbor scene. It’s a… It’s familiar. I have no idea where it is. But it’s familiar. It’s a little bit like this little cove in Greece that I visited many years ago. I lived there for a while. It’s a little like that but it’s not that. It’s not that. And I can feel the… [pause]
Hmm. It’s changing… And I’m moving… I’m moving up over a large space. Again this feeling of being incorporated with everything around me. I’m seeing a landscape and also I am the landscape. And the atmosphere of the sky and the clouds – I’m both distinct from it and part of it. My molecules are part of it.
This is incredible. It’s embodying the world. It’s becoming a part of the organic life. I feel that this is kind of a commentary but… sort of coming out of the experience of it… but it’s like that.
And I remember at a memorial service, someone reading something that the man who passed wrote towards the end of his life where he felt he was part of the trees outside his window. I’ve remembered that as I sit in the morning. And I allow myself to feel a part of the birds and the trees and feel this interpenetration of life.
I’m feeling that now.
Jack: Right. Good.
Samuel: There’s this gentle moving. Nothing particular happening. There’s this wonderful clarity. And beneficence. Just sort of… ah… the fact of that state of beneficence. It’s not a… it’s not like an action… it’s not countering anything… it’s just that that is the state.
It’s not beauty in opposition to ugliness. It’s an omnipresent beauty. It’s not that ugliness doesn’t exist I suppose but I don’t see it as a balancing of forces – it’s just a…
I don’t think I’m repressing anything either. It’s this state of how things are to be – in a certain way. And it relates to the… Right now I’m having a feeling again of being in the lake. That everything’s accepted. It could be that I’m dead in the lake – but that doesn’t seem to be relevant. [First session; not posted.] You remember – the story of me falling off a boat from a battle or whatever and dying… It just… It’s not important – those details. I mean I can see how I’m drawn to them but… What’s important is this presence, this state, this being a part of that scene. And that scene even in and of itself is not that important. It’s the quality of it that’s important. It’s the quality of its vitality, its aliveness – everything about it is alive.
Jack: Good. Yes.
Samuel: It’s impossible to describe. It’s so deep. There’s no way to explain it.
Jack: No, I don’t think you want to explain it. You might explain it away.
Samuel: [chuckling] It’s in no danger of being explained.
There’s something now that’s pulling me back to…
“Obligation” just came to my mind. Obligation. I’m obliged to open to this world and include it. Include it in what’s happening right now. My wife stomping around in the next room not realizing I’m in here. [chuckling]
Jack: Yes, and someone just turned the dryer on in the room next to me here.
Samuel: It’s interesting. Jack – we are linked in so many different ways. And right now we’re linked in that we both have dryers going in the next room.
Jack: Oh, my God. [both laughing]
Samuel: Should we take it as a sign?
Jack: Well, it is a sign of the interpenetration of these two worlds.
Samuel: It is! And I think what has been wonderful about this session is that it wasn’t about an arc of a visitation. It was about the inner movement of visiting. It was about that capability. It was… It was… It is the exploration of that movement from one realm to another and the inclusion of… It’s not one to another. That’s really not the way it is. It’s… It’s an expansion. It’s an expansion.
Jack: And that’s what’s being illustrated.
Samuel: That’s what’s being illustrated.
Really that’s what’s being infused. It is being illustrated but it’s being infused. There are two parts to it.
Jack: Infused is better.
Samuel: No, it’s both, Jack. I think you’re right. I have this part that describes it – and that’s an illustration – and then there’s this other that is the experience of it.
Jack: But I think there’s yet another level that is facilitating this infusion and illustration.
Jack: An even higher level.
Samuel: Yes. Yes.
Jack: Without which this would not be happening.
Samuel: Yes. Yes. [pause]
And I keep coming back to a call. There’s another aspect to it. The call is still burdened by my history with that word “call.” It’s a call but there’s something… There’s a reaching out. I’m feeling it now. It is an infusion. It’s as if there’s a flow into me. I’m feeling it now.
Samuel: It’s infusing me to move on to a different realm. I mean it’s giving me the sense of what the pathway is between the one and the other. Not a literal pathway but an experiential pathway. It’s very instructive right now. And coming from a very great distance. Very high. I mean in the sense of higher influences. You know these words are so flat and this is…
Jack: No, but you’re experiencing the actual influence.
Samuel: I am experiencing it.
And my friends are with me.
Jack: Ah, good.
Samuel: They’re holding me. Very gently. [breath out] They’re not going away.
Samuel: They’re with me. They’re with me.
Jack: Yes. Even though the dryer is still running, they’re with you. [chuckles]
Samuel: And it gives me a feeling of real joy about that. That there’s some… Oh, it’s so interesting… to go through this whole session and right here at the end they’re saying, “This is what it’s about.”
Jack: Yes. Yes.
Samuel: “This is what you need to pay attention to.”
And it’s done in such a practical way.
Jack: Very direct.
Samuel: And a beneficent way. I keep coming back to it because I feel the warmth of it. There’s such care in it. But it’s not the care we think of as personal. It’s a lawful care. It’s just a… It’s what they do. It’s what their part is. They’re angels. That’s their role.
They’re on this… They’re translators, they’re conductors, they’re companions, they’re facilitators, they’re nourishers, they’re all kinds of things. They’re attendants. They’re attending.
And it’s like they move between this high realm and the realm of the everyday. Oh, I have such a different feeling of it.
And the practice is in life. I just have a feeling of the importance of our being in the realm of the Earth. That… This is so… I have a real experience of this – of what we’ve heard about what our role is – to mediate between the higher and the lower by… I have a feeling of that now… of what the work is. [pause]
I can see how Gurdjieff came up with the word “work.” I just said that word now really independent of the years we’ve spent using it in another sense. It now has a reality to it.
I’m in both places. It’s one place.
Jack: Yes, it really is one place.
Samuel: It’s one place where I feel permeated by both realms. I feel how the work is this inhabitation of these two realms – allowing them to coexist while I move back and forth. It’s the movement of life. And death. And everything in between. It’s an organic role that’s connected to this divine influence.
Hmm. Just by saying “Wow” it doesn’t go away. [chuckles]
Jack: No. No, I’m sure it’s not going to just go away. You recognize that it maybe can’t continue in exactly the same way but, on the other hand, it doesn’t mean it has to disappear completely.
Samuel: Definitely not.
Jack: And we can come back to that word “horizon.” The horizon can still be there.
Jack: Regardless of whatever’s happening.
Jack: [chuckling] Although we know also that it will disappear. We’ll be lost completely again at some point but there’s always this possibility. And each time you make a transition like this it becomes more possible – because each time you’re adding to the depth of the experience.
Samuel: I feel that. I feel that more in this session than I ever have before. The sessions now are occupying a realm. They’ve gotten to a critical mass. It’s not just that they have a critical mass, it’s that that movement has been repeated such that the pathways are beginning to be informed and educated and practiced. Practiced. That movement is practiced.
Jack: And you’re establishing a relationship with these two guardians also.
Jack: By the repetition.
Samuel: Yes. Yes.
Jack: [laughing] And the ordinary mind is going to kind of go nuts about that but… that’s all right.
Samuel: It hasn’t, you know, Jack. It’s not that I don’t dabble in that but what’s interesting is that their purity is such that they don’t allow for a dabbling too much. It’s so clearly distinct from the experience of them. And I see that I have to let go of any dabbling before their reappearance.
Jack: Yes. That’s a good point.
Samuel: [big breath] Well, I have to get up.
Jack: Right. It’s been just an hour.
Samuel: It’s been four days Jack! Don’t tell me it’s only been an hour. [laughter]
Jack: Well, we’ve been under a different clock. Yes. That’s true too. Definitely a different clock.
Samuel: It’s been a second, it’s been an hour, it’s been God know what.
Jack: Well, and the distance too, you know – immeasurable.
Other postings in this series: The Fact of God, The Disciples, The Orb Smiles, Kindly Bent to Ease Us, Porousness, The Missing “Wide Horizon.”