Rebuilding Light Structures

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

 Sergei: I’m at the edge of a big hole that opens into the earth. Now this hole is gianormous. Ha, ha. This is like whoa! But I feel safe at the edge of this cliff. I’m more like a touristy viewer at the moment. It’s unusual because I know that normally I’d be scared or there would be that feeling that you have around the edges of cliffs or tall structure buildings when you look over the edge but… Yeah, it seems like this is the kind of place I need to be at right now and just being there seems already to be recharging me in some way and we’re observing that.

It’s a circular hole into the Earth – I think. I’m not sure.

Jack: So it’s something you really can’t see the bottom of I guess?

Sergei: Yes.

Jack: And is it dark in there?

Sergei: Yeah, it’s fairly dark although… ah… it can be illuminated… ah… [chuckle] with my mind and imagination even but… It’s not a scary place. It’s just the vastness of it. There’s like an echo without sound so like it’s alive in some way and…

It seems to be a place to connect with, explore…

Jack: Yes.

Sergei: Perhaps not even physically necessarily. I might need some guidance into that.

Jack: There’s something wonderful about beginning with a place like this – it’s full of possibilities because it’s not defined yet and you are on the edge. I think it’s really important not to go too quickly and to just be there on the edge of it. Appreciate the vastness of it so that you begin to feel that something is taking place inside you just because you are there beside it.

There is, as you say, a soundless echo. There is a reverberation between you and that place. So by just staying there for a bit something begins to vibrate inside you and perhaps correspondingly a resonance is there in that vastness. And, out of that, something can begin to appear or it may be that you need to do something. Take an action or…

It is good to be close to the body – the physical body – and its breathing while at the same time you’re in that location. We need to simply ask your subconscious to be the director here.

Sergei: Yeah, well, it appears that I’m at what I would call the bottom [chuckling] of this bottomless pit and somehow there’s a light on me.

[laughing] I just find it funny.

Jack: You’re in the spotlight.

Sergei: Well, as we can see, I don’t seem to have an issue with that.

I appear to be observing myself and coming closer to myself.

I’m ah light. And I’m watching myself appear at the bottom of this pit or somewhere along the line of travel into this place. And I’m very bright. I still have human-like contours, it seems… but they might be disappearing. I’m just observing. So I was at the top. Now I’m somewhere standing on some surface.

It’s just changed in that I appear to be entering into, wandering into a…

Jack: Yes, that seems good. That seems like what needs to happen.

Sergei: I’m looking around. There is a direction. It looks like going into a throat because it’s cave-like… but there’s a sense of verticality here too.

Now, yeah, I’m looking to the left. I sense myself changing direction. Looking strongly. There’s a current, a flow.

Jack: Ah, a current. Yes.

Sergei: Yeah. It’s presented here in the sense of again being in a deep place and [sigh] the soundless sounds…

It’s almost like the flow of air in such a place is the energetic appreciation of the structure.

Anyway, I need a moment to let that be.

Jack: Yes. I don’t want us to go too quickly. You just need to take the time it takes. There’s nothing wrong with some moments of silence in the middle of this because you need to really sense where you’re going and what’s taking place.

Sergei: Yup.

Jack: And then you can just speak when there’s something to speak about. The real concentration needs to be on your participation in what’s taking place. You need to be as aware as possible. [pause]

Sergei: Well, there’s that journeying duality. There’s a bounding back and forth between this and that.

Jack: Yes, it requires a certain discipline to make sure you don’t just bounce straight back into the ordinary mind and start commenting on it all. There has to be a focus on the journey. Because you’re going somewhere.

Sergei: All right.

Jack: And it’s a natural process for the mind to jump back and forth like that. It’s just how we’re built. [pause]

Sergei: [sigh]

Jack: And it’s very simple in a way because we just need to move on to whatever the next important thing in the journey is. But you need to feel comfortable with that too. It’s ok to stop for a while in different places. [pause]

Sergei: Yeah, I’m not afraid of the dark. I’m being shown places that are… hmm… I think there are things there but there aren’t.

[chuckle] I just mean it is correct not to be afraid of the dark… in all those ways [sigh] that I have been.

Jack: Yes. That’s right.

Sergei: In a way, there’s nothing there although it is alive and it is communicating right now.

Jack: Yes. So it’s the communication that’s important of course. And there may be a form that appears and there may not. But you can feel the presence.

Sergei: Yeah. So within the richness of that… [pause]

Interesting. It’s like something is breathing through me. Even through my throat, almost as a secondary breath. And through my system.

Jack: Yes, that’s usually a sign of a transition taking place. And it’s good to stay very close to the breath. Because it is a different breath. It is a different breathing really. As you enter into this. [pause]

Sergei: Yeah, I might be de-materializing or re-integrating into the matter that I’m breathing with.

Jack: Yes. Yes. And usually this is necessary for you to move further in this new environment. It requires a change of state. So it’s just happening very naturally. You’re built to be able to do this. But it is using capacities that are not used very often. [pause]

Sergei: [big breath in] OK. Now I’m a part of the whole. I’m what allows it to have the passage of… I allow it to be a passage. And by that I can therefore… It is possible to be… anywhere with it. There are still some moments to go.

Jack: Yes, take your time. [pause]

Sergei: [voice now much quieter] It seems I need to be more gentle. Just re-calibrating. [pause]

Maybe I’ll speak in keywords. There’s pulsation that… pulsation… allowing… connection… there’s a focusing… crystal – yeah… crystal building… Before building a crystal it can be mind mapped. [pause] All right… The architecture of it. Ah.

In this place of new sensitivities we work together to…

[chuckle] It’s almost like working with our eyes to draw lines in space which form the crystals. [chuckle] [pause] [laughing]

Just coming close to myself looking at what appears to be working in the dark and the eyes having [bursting into laughter] laser beams. It’s not funny. I’m laughing but it’s just a feel-good thing and there’s an exploration into re-discovering that.

Jack: Yeah, well, the vision is working differently. It’s a different apparatus and a different situation.

Sergei: [sigh] So the mission is on focusing. [sigh]

We’re rebuilding the light structures, the light infrastructures. That is the way that it can be presented in words. It’s on a different plane of matter but, in order to focus, Sergei needs to have this work correspondingly done within himself which has to do with the physics of light in structures that allow for light manipulation such as cameras, microscopes, telescopes. In a similar way the plane on which this work is done has light work inside a human being… [pause]

Right. There are surfaces in various planes which, in order to have a connective property, such as the flow of soundless sound through the deep structure… In other words, in order for Sergei to thrive with the sensitivities, the light infrastructures are now being worked on. This is something he does on another plane as well. Kind of like a work in which one can specialize, and sometimes one forgets to do that work for oneself. [pause]

Jack: Do you have any sense of where this work is being directed from?

Sergei: It appeared to be a tunnel at first with a light at the end. But now it appears to be actually a planet of sorts illuminated like a moon. It’s correct to say that it’s just a node. In other words there’s a vast expanse of co-direction from the Source.

Jack: OK. Good. I felt it was important to check that. It sounds perfect.

Sergei: Now there is a brief image of what appears to be an old friend from space with the horns – a kind of royal figure I’ve met before.

Jack: In this circumstance there may be some communication that can take place. [long pause]

Sergei: I’m there resting now in this white palace with a friend for a moment.

Jack: That’s fine.

Sergei: It seems I may have been away for a while. But it’s a common place.

Jack: Common? In what sense? You’ve been there before? Is that what you mean?

Sergei: Yeah, I’m not even interested in the palace. It’s more like gladness to have a moment with a friend who seems to be the main inhabitant. He’s very tall. [pause]

Yeah, it’s in the clouds. [pause]

I had turned around to see the view. That is why I know we are in the clouds. And there is beautiful greenery, countryside. Perhaps a few miles up. No a little bit less. Sunny day. [sigh]

Jack: Nice.

Sergei: We’re at tea, discussing something. Not really drinking tea. It just feels like teatime.

Jack: Yeah. Teatime in the sense of a pleasant exchange. [pause]

Sergei: There was an exchange about bones and who’s passing on. In the sense of [pause] just the observation [sigh] of that transition. [pause]

Who’s working on what.

Now it’s as if we are watching or focused on some unknown entity. Dark… Dark… a black figure – not by skin but… a black figure. It’s almost as if we’re watching the equivalent of a transmission of the whereabouts and we’re just observing. [pause]

I seem to be learning about a particular type of being – learning to identify them for what they are. That’s all. It’s like a kind of help that I’ve come here for.

Jack: It’s reminding me of a quotation I have from the Nag Hammadi texts that I have placed in front of me at my desk: “Recognize what is in your sight and that which is hidden from you will become plain to you.”


Sergei: Yeah. Yes. There’s more to that. It depends on the meaning of re-cognize. [sigh] Because there’s a sense of purity in cognition itself which can be instantaneous. [pause]

Jack: Is the dark figure still there or have you moved on to something else?

Sergei: In that vision we were observing a demonstration of its being-ness and then it flew off.

And now we’re exchanging on the fact that this personal transparency is concurrent with being able to simply observe that which can be recognized. And this is done within the physical body that one has here on Earth as a human. There is a breathing, a breathing through it. [pause]

One can generate one’s own heat. [pause]

  1. I thank him.

Jack: Your tall friend there, you mean?

Sergei: Yeah.

Wow. It feels like in order to go back, I, the body needed to get really heavy.

Jack: Yes. That’s usually what happens in this transition period. Yes, the body re-asserts itself after about this amount of time. It’s not possible to be out of it for too long. It has its needs and it is our current condition of being incarnated so… I think that has to be respected. So… just watch what’s happening. [pause]

Sergei: There’s now a possibility to go deeper.

Jack: Good. [pause]

Sergei: I might be able to view some information from the past – with guidance. There appears to be a spillage of ink. [whispered]

Jack: Yes, if it’s important to see something from the past right now then it’s just a matter of focus.

Sergei: There appears to be a female friend with curvy outlines which I’m looking at. Possibly she might be lying on the bed in front of me but it’s dark. It’s more of the appreciation. Oh. It seems to be a past partner perhaps.

Jack: Does something need to be communicated between you? I mean something already is – but something more?

Sergei: How does one say one is sorry?

Jack: I think you just need to feel it rather than say it. It will be communicated. [pause] [tears?]

Sergei: Yeah. I feel it. It’s felt. I don’t know… [sigh] Right. It seems in the awakened sensitivity it’s possible for me to cry right now and really feel that I may have hurt someone or that there’s some… or that there’s some… Right. A kind of blockage due to un-resolved-ness. But… [sigh] I’m to remain with the feeling.

Jack: Yes, I think it’s important to remain with the feeling because it is releasing something. The blockage would be due to an unreleased feeling.

There’s an expression of it in your body and in your breathing probably. So… there can be a release there. As long as you’re not beating yourself up about it.

Sergei: Yeah.

Jack: But it’s good to have that movement in the emotional center. It frees up some space. Clears away certain things. Which was one of your goals for the session. [pause]

So what’s the next thing we need to move towards? Is there another goal? Or is there something neither of us have thought about that needs to be brought into focus? [long pause]

Sergei: Just a bit more time.

Jack: That’s fine. [long pause]


[Note: Here the dialogue switches. It is now the Higher Self speaking through Sergei about Sergei.]


Sergei: Yes. There’s something about how Sergei can expand his behindness with the field behind himself in the same sense as when one says, “Put your back into it.” There is a sense of forwardlookingness when one can look around oneself as if having a sense which can be used to feel all around oneself including behind oneself.

Jack: Right.

Sergei: The strength in the back isn’t only physical. Sergei tends to place himself in wonderfully difficult places because he’s able to do that with another body and another place where there isn’t physicality. But placing oneself under a huge wave is not the same on this plane as it can be somewhere else. Here, there’s a responsibility for the physicality of it. You will have the wave crush you if you’re under the wave with your physical body. Bringing your back into it can be a helpful reminder.

Stop observing and jump in. [chuckle]

Jack: Well. That is what you did in this session. It is about learning how to do that. Instead of holding back. Don’t hold back. Just put you back into it. [pause]

Sergei: Yeah. It’s important for Sergei to maintain what he knows is himself. There are many around him who currently do not resonate in the same way. They are just on a different part of the path.

Jack: Yes. But perhaps he needs to have one or two people who do resonate this way. It is important to find and foster that.

Sergei: That can be found within the work.

Jack: Do you mean the Gurdjieff work or just work in general?

Sergei: Both in life and that which is taught in the Gurdjieff work. But it’s meant to be played out in daily life.

Jack: Yes. Absolutely.

Sergei: So… It is true that the work resonates in both. But there’s more of an affinity for Sergei to find that outside of the Gurdjieff work while having it within as well. But the answer to the question is outside.

Jack: In life. It’s in life but there’s stuff taking place inside you at the same time of course. There’s a correspondence. [pause]

Sergei: There are some questions being answered. [pause]

For Sergei there’s a great difficulty in working on things, on questions by oneself. In his case he benefits by sharing the work. But that is a benefit for all; because he shares this as well.

Just a moment. [pause]


[Note: Here the dialogue switches again. Now it is no longer the Higher Self speaking through Sergei about Sergei but rather some group intelligence using the pronoun “we” asking Jack to take some specific action for Sergei’s benefit.]


Jack, we need you to guide him through something that would be beneficial from that side so he knows that it’s in the moments where he’s still that he can find his friends. But perhaps from your experience you might know what that means. He’s able to at least enter and invite and meet the affinite ones but there’s a tendency to lose the connection whether now or in the future. That’s his line of work to maintain the connection by seeing how alive the body can be – the physical body.

Jack: Right. [pause]

Yes, it was said somewhere recently that the physical body is not important per se but what you do with it is important.

So I think there’s a sense in which Sergei needs to connect to the importance of the body in relationship to the work he’s being asked to do, his mission. So maybe it would be good – especially right now – to feel a connection to the back – that’s already been given as a part of this. But can there be a connection to the back when Sergei is talking to somebody? – anybody – because it does get lost there.

The back is the axis of stability. If you don’t put your back into it, not very much is possible. So, there definitely needs to be a focus which can be continued after this session. Practice coming back to the back often – especially in relationship to each person in Sergei’s life. Sense the back. Be close to the back. And with the question, the implicit question: Is the affinity present or absent? Is it weak or strong? In doing this there can be a learning? The direction in life can be clearer.

Plus there’s a connection between the breathing and the back. It can be felt right now in this moment.

Maybe there still needs to be some diversion, some lightness as well. It’s not good to be too heavy. So maybe some badass relationships are ok but in general there is a mission at stake here which is unfolding as it should. But it would be really good for the ordinary consciousness to know something about it – which it will do now from having had the session. And there’s a sound recording also.

There is something to be learned here about relationship – not easy on this planet. It is much easier off this planet. But Sergei is here for a purpose so this is something that needs to be learned very deeply. And it’s very helpful that the higher consciousness knows that and communicates it.

Sergei: We thank you. We thank you and yes, this event can be moved on now.

Jack: Yes, I think we need to draw the event to a close.

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(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Alfred: In the last session I experienced the agony of separation when suffering a total loss. There was something that could not separate, that could not differentiate because it didn’t have the necessary or required refinement in perception of what constitutes a loss on the functional level. The source of the agony is proceeding from the ordinary mind which projects the loss of connection on the source.

Jack: There’s so much that happened there!

Alfred: What was given was actually a direct teaching that the unbearable feeling of loss, of total loss, of being unable to go on, was the opening that was needed in order to make contact with the source. In such a case, I am penetrated by the higher perspective and there is no separation, no loss.

Jack: I was speaking to a client yesterday about our dual nature. We are definitely human with lots of attachments and then another part of us, in another body, can be in a completely different place.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: We have to somehow find this line in between the two. We don’t want to fall completely into either.

Alfred: Exactly

Jack: If we fall completely into the other reality, we’re not incarnated any more – we’re not participating in what we’re supposed to be doing here. On the other hand, if we fall completely into the planetary body and the emotions… And we do – all the time.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: We then find ourselves completely tied up in knots about something.

Alfred: What you’re saying is important in the sense that it highlights the fact that the contact between those two natures is suffering. We are suffering because we have two natures – it’s built into our existence. This can give a very different view about suffering.

That resonance of suffering that we all share puts us really in the same boat with everyone around us. [pause]

At times I am stuck and at other times, thanks to our guides, I am unstuck. I can feel things become deeper and heavier but when I see from that luminous place where this is recognized there is no separation – all is lawfully coexisting.

Jack: Exactly. You’ve certainly had moments when the separation, the suffering was not there at all.

Alfred: When everything is permeated by this fine vibration, the word “suffering” is completely unfitting to describe the experience.

Jack: Yes, because then you’re really somewhere else.

I’ve sometimes felt that the suffering was a kind of fire – a burning away of something that needs to be burned away inside. When that takes place, there’s a freedom to move into this other space. You can’t move as long as you’re taken by whatever it is that you’re suffering.


Alfred: It feels right to accept being in this body with all its tensions and densities, to just be with it.

Jack: At the same time my sense is that something has begun – a process has begun. [pause]

Alfred: I’m asking the body to cooperate… like a baby or like a dog that is terribly worried about being abandoned. So, there’s a certain need to be with it. It needs to receive a certain acceptance which then allows it to relax and to open up even when it doesn’t know what it is opening to. [pause]

The need to know is diminished.

And with that there’s a certain benevolent, unknown, perhaps stellar darkness that is present. [pause]

Much more willingly than any time before, something in me is accepting the recognition that the display of random images is not where the movement is. It’s like being on a train – you can be taken by the passing landscapes or you can be one with the movement of the train and know that you are travelling. So here I need to focus on the movement of transition and not be distracted. [pause]

The breath seems to take over and do its own breathing. [pause]

It’s very hard to describe this huge structure on the side of a mountain where there are people living. I’m looking at a place that has a lot of domes over some kind of structure.

Jack: Transparent domes?

Alfred: No, they seem to be golden. [pause]

A moment ago, something from within my experience, a kind of helper was encouraging me to pay attention to everything. [pause]

It seems very important to pay attention to feeling. That’s the guidance. How to balance all those visuals which are very striking but they can be distracting. [pause]

Jack: Yes, I think the feelings help in making sure you’re on the right track or direction.

Alfred: The heart is more present now – in its rhythm. There is a kind of trust in the guidance from the heart. [pause]

There’s a gentle discipline applied to not falling into images and fragments and just staying with the question of how to come closer. How to stay just with that sense of the proximity to some guidance and connection. It’s like a part that is moving towards the whole. Or opening to the whole. Like a planet moving towards its sun. [pause]

That familiar sense of the head insisting to lead. I need to allow that and not fight it.

Jack: Yes, just ignore it; don’t fight it.

Alfred: I’m moving within a whole circulatory system. It’s like being a particle within an infinitely intricate systems of vessels – a circulatory system in which I’m a particle. I have a sense that I’m moving in a liquid. I can see it all around me. I’m within it and outside of it.

The walls of the vessels are transparent but the transparency varies with my ability to concentrate. When I lose my focus they become opaque and I can no longer find my direction. [pause]

Again, this transition through a dream-like state. I’m not looking at it – it has passed. I continue to be in question.

Jack: And the connection to the heart, to feeling – is that still strong?

Alfred: It fluctuates but it’s still there. There are moments when the head seem to take over the heart. And I fall for that so I need to be very vigilant.

The discernment of the heart and the mind are sometimes difficult. But now I’m closer to the heart.

Jack: Good. [pause]

Alfred: There’s a clear need to let go of this wish to make something happen. I see this as a big obstacle right now. The last session was so striking that there’s a wish to replicate it. So I’m not entirely sincere or open at this moment.

Jack: Well, I think the heart needs to tell you what you need to move towards.

Alfred: Yes. There are some twinges of fear more present now and that affirms moving closer to something more real. [pause]

There’s the very strong grasp of a fear like claustrophobia. Of being entombed. I see a barrier to entering a dark place. It’s like a fear of death, very specifically. I just need to stay with that. [pause]

Something lets go now.

Jack: Ah.

Alfred: It’s like the heart is beginning to connect to another circulation. [pause]

There’s a kind of happiness at finding this blue medium again. It’s a little lighter than the usual dark blue. It seems to be my home, my base and my nutrients all in one.

Jack: Are you just aware of that now.

Alfred: Yes. It’s appearing now. It’s like an atmosphere. A liquid atmosphere.

The constriction of the heart is gradually loosening. Expanding. And the body is breathed by this blue materiality.

There’s a part of me that recognizes the same difficulty of passing through this gate of death so to speak. And it complains: “Why can’t it be easier?” Nothing that I know is helping.

It is like being under water and breathing – from the mind’s point of view. The body has absolutely no problem. This other body that I’m in here and now.

There’s light coming in. It’s like coming from a depth of water into the light. [pause]

I’m not quite ready to receive the light. It’s overwhelmingly blinding. [pause]

The head is very alive with vibration now. [pause]

It is given information, instructions which I cannot report about. It’s not something that language can…

Jack: More like a download?

Alfred: Yes. It needs to be given time and space.

Jack: Yes. Of course. [pause]

Alfred: There’s the beginning of a feeling of gratitude. As if I’m joining a gathering in a big dome. All of this preparation has made me worthy or able to participate in that. A perfectly round dome. Enormous. A gathering of people sitting.

It seems like that dome has a particular purpose – perhaps to concentrate vibrations. [pause]

I notice a constriction around the heart. It is very telling – almost like a reminder of that fear. I need to be very sensitive to that because what preceded it was a kind of realization that I have a part to play in this gathering. Maybe an important part. And then there was that constriction, almost a flinching from that – like a fear. As if I’m refusing to take my place. Or that I’m fearful of taking my place. [pause]

Jack: But there’s a part of you that knows what your place is…

Alfred: Yes. And it feels like I know something that I claim not to know.

Jack: Exactly.

Alfred: Unless I accept that, there’s no movement forward. There’s no other choice. That’s what needs to happen. There’s an image of a kind of procedure or surgery – some technical knowledge that I have received and that I need to apply. It has great importance I think. I’m taking my place on the dais there next to other personages, people of some authority. They seem to recognize me, accept me and make room for me. And with that, the constriction around the heart is releasing.

This might be the right time to ask for guidance. I feel like I need help in trusting what is required of me. To trust what was given to me to do. So I ask for that for the benefit of whoever might be benefitting from this action that I need to take. [pause]

The feeling is that if I was clearer about my heart and what needs to take place, I would not be conflicted about having to perhaps condemn or abandon… making some kind of judgment or action that will take life out of some people. I don’t have a better way of saying that. Something that will determine the fate of others which is difficult because I know them well and care about them. In some ways, I see them as the people or the creatures or the beings that I know, and I cannot do what is right. I’m seeking, praying for a vision that will allow me to see through those appearances. The appearances obscure the action that needs to take place. It’s so clear. [pause]

It’s like everything that was solid is beginning to vibrate and turn into particles. [pause]

Jack: And inside you what is happening?

Alfred: There’s a greater clarity about certain blockages or dark places where vibrations will not flow. They require some direction. [pause]

I’m not connected enough to the source to take this action.

From this state where there was this sense of a barrier, now there is no longer a barrier. It’s a total change of perspective – one that is not of my doing, not coming from my desperate striving. Light is coming through. Blinding light. Or golden. And there’s a crimson in it. [pause]

I’m beginning to see the crown. There’s an expression of gratitude towards me which touches me very deeply. [pause]

It’s no different than the previous session except that this time it’s experienced from the side of the savior and there’s no difference. Looking at the altar that is now empty from the eye of the one who transmuted that child. With only a little resistance. The whole company is seeing endless light both individuals and particles, vibrations.

Jack: When you say the whole company you mean everyone under this dome?

Alfred: Yes, exactly. [pause]

It’s like my body, my physical body is making itself known, lying here, simultaneous with that scene still there. It’s not there and here, they are both here.

And there’s a beginning dread and agony of knowing that this will dissipate as I speak. It’s very important for me to not lose touch with the heart.

Jack: Yes, and I think also to know that apparently immovable obstacles can be overcome.

Alfred: There’s clearly a need for a whole new relationship with the heart. The heart is much closer to the source than the mind. [pause]

Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, In the Situation Room, Dark Blue Stellar Material, A Luminous Source, Where Life Resides, Suffering.

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Where Life Resides

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Alfred: It’s almost as if the mind is re-setting. All kinds of fragments and associations of the day are discharged and have to pass – like waste material. So that something can empty and begin to open up or lead to some different kind activity in the head brain. [pause]

A very familiar sensation. The body on the couch is also a body but there’s a body floating above it that is horizontal. It’s not the same body as the body on the couch. It’s half in light and half in darkness. Equally. Horizontally. With darkness above it.

Jack: And I think what’s very significant is you’re able to speak about that without disturbing the perception. It takes time and practice to be able to do that.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

There is a clear sense of a need to let go further to allow the body to completely transform. And some trepidation, reluctance in the chest area. It seems to hold back. No, maybe it’s the opposite; maybe something is waking up in the chest.

Now there seems to be a very strong sensation at the top of the head and in the solar plexus as if there’s a kind of communication that’s being established between these two centers.

Jack: Good.

Alfred: It seems as though the floating body is gaining in substance.

A new kind of confidence is not rushing and is letting the process really take whatever time it takes. [pause]

The heaven above reminds me of a very deep blue like before sunset, before it gets completely dark. Very alive. I’m clearly part of that. It feels I belong in that medium. [pause]

There’s no fear. [intonation of surprise or wonder]

There’s a kind of trust in waiting which is a new experience.

Jack: Yes, and it’s good there’s no fear. That’s been a real obstacle before.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

I glimpse occasionally how fear doesn’t belong in an experience like that. But it’s more a lack of skill, a lack of familiarity that is creating the fear. Fear is not from within that experience. It’s quite natural to be open to this kind of influence. [pause]

It’s almost like I’m identifying all the natural organs or apparatuses that are there for the purpose of transitioning to a different body, a different way of being. And a question is really emerging about the aim of that. And with that, in a natural way, it progresses to a more and more sincere question about guidance, about a wish to serve this… to put this state at the service of something that is necessary. So I’m asking for guidance or a guide to…

Jack: …yes, that’s good…

Alfred: …to help, because otherwise it can be lost on some kind of titillation rather than serving something for which it is designated and is necessary.

Jack: I’m reminded of the time you were told by one of the blue beings, “I can’t meet you unless you at least come to here.”

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: It’s very good that you’re asking again right here specifically.

Alfred: It’s very close to exactly what I was feeling. Have I gone as far as I need to? Have I made enough of a journey so that I can honestly and sincerely ask for help? [pause]

There’s a feeling that begins to awaken in the contact with a profound lack. [pause] I’m being shown how the holding in my back, in areas of the body where I wasn’t aware that there were certain tensions and how a kind of grasping are the obstacles that must be let go of. [pause]

Hmm. A light is beginning to come in. It’s like a whole different level of emptiness. It is necessary to receive that. [pause]

It’s interesting that, while I wasn’t considering myself empty enough, a light is being received as if it’s more available and generous than I would have expected. It almost feels like it is searching me more than I am searching for it. [pause]

It’s now that the breathing begins to be important. [pause]

The head vibrates strongly. [long pause]

I saw someone in a crimson gown… a gown, a robe… shimmering… approaching… It’s like a meeting point of three dimensions. Just on that point I see it. At a distance but approximating a point where the three dimensions of the cube meet.

It’s kind of identical to the image of Jesus in Toledo cathedral, except that it looks alive. [pause]

It feels like a very steep kind of way to get to him – those dimensional lines… inside a cube… With him at one corner. [pause]

It’s interesting that my feet seem to be not my feet. They have sandals. Like Biblical sandals. I see the edges of a white robe that I’m wearing – it has a gold margin on it.

Jack: As if as you proceed the vision becomes clearer – you see more.

Alfred: Yes. Something begins to become more concentrated in the experience.

Very different feet. Feet that are calloused and used to walking on rocks.

Jack: Used in a very different way than the current ones.

Alfred: Yes. It’s as if I’m carrying something. [intonation of surprise] I’m really going to focus on the sensation.

Jack: Yes. Just concentrate on the sensation I would say. [pause]

Alfred: The progression towards the Jesus person in the crimson robes – luminous – is very specifically, very precisely downwards, as if I’m descending from a mountain. My feet are very skilled in following some kind of track, a trail that is not very well marked with rocks. It’s desert type of place. I have a very strong impulse to say it’s Mount Sinai, Jebel Musa. I feel a kind of familiarity with that scenery. Almost a kind of coming down with the tablets from the mountain… the mind is kind of…

Jack: Yes, the mind may provide that but you have the sensation of carrying something nevertheless, right?

Alfred: Something is carried and it’s carried very carefully and precisely. Great responsibility to bring it down to that person who expects me at the end of that cube.

Jack: Ah! So there’s still a sense of the cube?

Alfred: Yes. It feels like moving inside a dimension of time. Like the all-quarter-maintainer of that particular quarter of the universe.

The body feels very strong and sure of its footing.

It’s a white robe that wraps my head as well. I sense that.

Jack: Yes, you need those kind of clothes in that environment. [pause]

Alfred: It seems like what I’m carrying is more like a body of someone, something. Feelings begin to come. Feelings of sadness, deep sadness. Someone who I care deeply about may have passed – the one I’m carrying. It could be a younger person, a child; it could be another adult.

Jack: Yes, it may gradually become clear who it is.

And are you carrying it towards this other figure?

Alfred: Yes. I say a Jesus-type figure. I am serving in some way. There is a clear intention. I am bringing it to him for a particular ritual or procedure – something that is essential to provide a safe passage for that spirit.

Failing is not an option. No matter how long the path is. The feet are sure. There’s a certain wisdom or skillfulness in the body that knows exactly what needs to happen. And how I need to bring that body before him.

Jack: Good.

Alfred: There’s a stronger vibration and light as I approach. There is great grief. Perhaps a child. My images go ahead of my words.

Jack: Careful.

Alfred: I’m seeing the images. The child is being laid down on the altar. The child body.

His eyes turn to me… Jesus’ eyes… that holy person’s eyes turn towards me with this compassion, deep compassion. [voice shaking] It pierces my heart. All three are so one. [pause]

There’s a simultaneous complete clarity about the need to let go of that boy and complete confidence that his passage will be assured in some way. All the hopes and all the love that I have for this child have to be let go. [crying]

I’m able to stay with that, thanks to this ongoing look that keeps me right there on that spot. [pause]

The solidity of the body of that child seems lessened… more and more… gradually it vanishes in a natural way. The altar seems to be empty.

I’m given so much and so much is taken at the same time.

It’s letting the heart remain open. [pause]

I see that the memory of that look is almost replacing that look of the Christ, of that sacred individual. As if I still cling to that and as if something is being instructed. It’s available to you only when everything else is lost. And now you don’t need that. It’s like calling it in vain. In vain.

Jack: So that’s a specific instruction.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: Very clear. And reduces in no way the value of what you received.

Alfred: No. Not at all. It even amplifies it. Clarifying when it’s available and when it’s not. What the conditions are under which this benevolence, this benediction is there for me. [pause]

It feels like I’m gradually coming down from that experience in a very particular way. With a… coming up… It’s not clear but… This is like… a shell of this body that needs to be tended to and carried along although it’s not where life resides. This is not what is alive. But it needs to be carried around and… although, in spite of the fact that life, prior to this, has lost its purpose. [intonation of depression] It cannot be about what it was prior to what I just experienced. There’s a reluctance. There’s an agony about the lost contact with the source.

Jack: Do you want to ask for some guidance about that?

Alfred: Yes.

Please. Show yourself to me. I can’t go on. [pause]

I receive help. The pain I took for estrangement is the connection. So clearly. [pause]

What a gift!

Jack: Yes!

Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, In the Situation Room, Dark Blue Stellar Material, A Luminous Source, Where Life Resides.


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A Luminous Source

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Alfred: It helps – what you described in sensing the contact with what is around us. It allows the sensing to expand to include everything – all surfaces.

Jack: Yes, it’s also reminiscent of your sensing the trees in the last session.

Alfred: The kind of process that we are familiar with – the gathering – the parts coming together, joining. It needs its own time. [pause]

Jack: Yes, it’s an allowing so that gathering can take place, but at the same time something inside needs to be very active too.

Alfred: It’s the sensing of the breath as fluid as I mentioned last session. It’s a quality of breathing that feels much more fluid than gaseous. It is consistent with the image of the river.

Jack: And consistent with your very first session where you were breathing a fluid.

Alfred: That’s exactly what I was thinking too.

I think that quality is like being surrounded by liquid, by being immersed in what feels like fluid. It’s a living medium. Almost like a placenta.

From the mind point of view it can be very simple. Once that environment is experienced as sustaining, it becomes sustaining.

Jack: But something is required from you for you to experience that.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: The attention has to be on the exchange that is taking place – on the in-breath and the out-breath. [long pause]

Alfred: There’s a natural relaxation of that need to distinguish in-breath from out-breath. There’s just breath. [pause]

The surface of the body becomes porous and sensitive. Quite naturally. [pause]

Jack: Even though there’s no sense of distinction between in-breath and out-breath there’s still a sense of participation would you say?

Alfred: Yes. The participation is very different. There’s a certain presence to this process that is being concentrated as this process is deepening. The presence, the awareness, the witnessing. [pause]

It’s almost as if the breathing in is of that blue quality. Or that the process of breathing is like taking in something of that sky-blue, dark sky-blue, when it’s almost completely dark – at dusk.

Jack: Right. Yes, there’s a particular quality. [pause]

Alfred: The remaining tensions in the body are more and more clearly places where something is not yet giving up, or surrendering. And it cannot be rushed. It’s not my mind that can make that happen. [pause]

Jack: No.

Alfred: The same kind of expansion of the two bodies. The planetary body is now doing exactly what it’s designed to do which is to sustain life but there is a much wider envelope of sensation that continues to expand. More and more coexistence of those two, interrupted by the physical body clinging to primacy.

Jack: At the same time there’s a connection of some kind – the call of this dark blue stellar material… It seems to always come into the picture at about this point. It’s interesting how that expansion is connected to it. [pause]

Alfred: It introduces this much finer – infinitely finer – materiality which makes all those boundaries and activities quite transparent and where the sense of me is no longer delineated by the physical body. [pause]

It is like all those convictions of where my body is and what it is made of are fading. My usual understanding is almost like a fog that is vanishing in the light of the sun.

But the mind does not let go easily. It still has a grasp on the insistence of knowing something about me but it is very peripheral and is subordinate to this larger expansion. [pause]

It feels like these are the necessary preliminaries to asking for help – to have the feelings begin to bring a sense of direction.

Jack: Yes, you were very active last time in asking for something so…

Alfred: And I feel on the threshold of that but…

Jack: Yes, it has to feel right.

Alfred: … not quite ready, not quite worthy of receiving help…

Jack: You said last time too that the vibration has to be at the right level or there’s no point.

Alfred: Yes. Yes. As long as there’s something else that claims to answer, there’s no point in asking.

Jack: Ah, yes, something else claims…

Alfred: The doppelgänger

Jack: Yes, the pretender to the throne.

Alfred: It’s there and as long as it’s around, there’s no point in really…

Jack: But it’s a matter of focus then – just following that focus. Still, that’s easier said than done.

Alfred: But it’s not by rejecting it; it’s by gradually becoming more sensitive to finer and finer resolutions so that what’s solid in one moment becomes porous in the next.

But it’s also a certain kind of relaxation that becomes very deep in the body. It’s like a trust.

Jack: The body is not abandoned, it’s just set asideallowed to rest.

Alfred: Discovering different tensions in different peripheries that were not apparent before. Part of the mind is also claiming readiness when it’s unclear. [pause]

The abdomen becomes a center of sincerity. [pause]

A change in the light – as if a different type of light becomes available. [pause]

It feels right to ask for help in pursuing this thread of truth which now begins to make itself known. Asking for help to come closer and closer to this truth as it’s being revealed so that I know what is required. [pause]

I’m being shown that what I’m requesting is already here. The intensity of the light is here and I haven’t perceived it.

Jack: But by asking you begin to be able to do so?

Alfred: The asking clears the obstacles on my side of this process. Fear and constriction around the heart.

It’s the kind of suffering that I never understand until I face it… the inability… the density.

Very strong image in the head. Very strong vibration in the head and in the heart. Like a mutual attunement, a tuning. [pause]

Something is opening up in the feeling. Gratitude. [pause]

Feeling guided, feeling that I belong to this process. [pause]

The habit to manipulate is there at all times but tolerated and not acted upon. [pause]

It’s like the barrier, the obstacle, the obstruction between the heart and the mind is very clear. Under the sternum some paths are not clear. But it’s so much clearer how this is the nature of the obstacle here. There is a glimpse – what if the mind and the heart were one? The force that this might give.

So that there’s nothing that is known that is not felt, and there’s nothing that is felt that is not known. [pause]

I can see how in a very ordinary way – I mentioned this last time – it borders on the fear of having a heart attack. A kind of ordinary, physiological constriction that is associated with past trauma. But I can be on the edge of that without being completely blocked by that fear.

Jack: Do you think you need to ask for some help to let it go more completely?

Alfred: It feels like the help is offered from the mind. The mind seems to work its way towards the heart in a way that is not taken by the constriction in the heart. It seems to permeate the pericardium.

It’s such a familiar fear of crossing over there. A fear that there won’t be anything that will be able to claim separateness. There is such a longing for that separateness and such a fear. Just allowing that to be as it is. But staying on both sides of it. [pause]

It’s so interesting what you said earlier about the need to remain active. That is so true at this level too.

Jack: Yes, I think so.

Alfred: In a sense, the attention naturally tends again towards the abdomen. There’s a need for further deepening and nourishment for this process that comes from that source. [pause]

Jack: It takes guts.

Alfred: It’s so clear Jack. There’s a kind of irreconcilable impasse between the vibration of the mind and the emotions. There is a need for a much finer reconciling force.

It’s a voluntary suffering that is needed. Another kind of shedding. [pause]

There’s a regaining of a lost ability of resting in a high vibrational state. A more unifying vibration along the whole system. [pause]

Village on waters with a kind of music playing that is so profound and so pervasive. I receive it from a luminous source.

Very fragile body. Very prone to fragmentation but still the felt experience is of an integrated whole. [pause]

It feels like the separation of head and heart is no longer there. It’s all one. What we ordinarily experience as different concentrations in different centers doesn’t feel that way now. It feels as though all is vibrating uniformly. [pause]

A totally natural breathing that comes from the lower abdomen. It travels through a whole different respiratory system. [pause]

It’s not a respiratory system it’s just a contact with finer materialities. [pause]

Much less trouble with this implace-able sense of self or me. [pause]

Jack: By unplace-able you mean you don’t know where to put it?

Alfred: I mean there’s no location for it. [pause]

And again this kind of emerging need for guidance. But now it is questioned as to its source because it may not be necessary to ask. The guidance is given. It feels more like a projection.

Jack: You’re not feeling a need, I think.

Alfred: Exactly! It’s from a lower realm – projecting something that is elsewhere.

Jack: Perhaps just associative.

Alfred: There’s a certain non-hurried but clear sense that the traces are being laid down of this teaching, of this guidance while at the same time a full witnessing of the diminution of this state is being offered.

Very clear that the physical tensions are appearing and so is the separateness of the mind’s activity. It shows up along the forehead, the solar plexus is tightening. It is showing up but very gradually. It’s like allowing two qualities to still exist.

Exactly like our previous sessions where as the daylight diminishes the starlight is still visible. That kind of a balancing point where both are present, coexisting.

Jack: Maybe that is how we’re really supposed to be.


Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, In the Situation Room, Dark Blue Stellar Material, A Luminous Source.

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Dark Blue Stellar Material

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Jack: I think that we recognize that an entry into this special work – or whatever this session is – an entry into it is possible only because we set aside the ordinary consciousness and look for other connections, allow other connections to form. It’s magical that they do – on their own. We don’t have to strain in order for that to happen. [pause]

Alfred: It becomes gradually more possible to let the associative material drop and not even report about it since it has no importance to this process. What seems to be attracting more of the attention is a penetration of the body by a finer substance.

Jack: Yes, the body is such a help in this transition. [pause]

Alfred: There’s a sense that the body becomes part of this larger circulation. The head is becoming part of this larger circulation. They are not separate. [pause]

With that awareness there’s something much larger, something like a canopy of stars and space – a star field. And a sense of being part of all that. An inseparable part.

The body no longer has its familiar shape. It’s just formless, part of that cosmic space, all those planets. The space is not black; it’s kind of very dark blue. It feels fluid. There’s a sensation around the umbilical area that feels attached to this awareness of the cosmic. It is flowing into a body that I cannot discern by form. As if that particular material, that dark stellar material, is flowing into my body, or whatever I call my body, into whatever it is that I experience as myself. It’s not bounded. [pause]

My ordinary mind is trying to find the boundaries to this experience which is boundary-less. Everything is in motion. [pause]

In fact, the thinking has become so rapid that my words cannot catch up. I mean the mind not the thinking. It is passing so rapidly, I just get tiny glimpses of whatever is happening there in the mind. [pause]

I wish to be instructed or guided as to what my role is and what my responsibility is here in relation to what is necessary. So I can be of service to the forces that are active right now. Please guide me for the benefit of all those who can benefit from this work.

Jack: Yes, it’s so clear that it’s not either you or I who can decide, so this request is very important.

Alfred: Yes.

There’s a light that is breaking at the apex of some dark material. It’s more discernible and requires much more active attention right now.

Jack: Good. Take your time. [pause]

Alfred: It’s like an intensity that is increasing in vibration. At the same time, there’s a kind of benevolent message of encouragement for me to wait and allow the transformation of this body. It is not yet of adequate luminosity or perhaps porousness. I need to allow it to ascend. It’s like a way-station or like a place of waiting where again something is required of me. It’s an interval. It feels like an ascent along some type of steep crystal or mountain that is infinitely high. [pause]

I can clearly sense the attachment to the dense forms – thinking and sensing. Something is responding and alleviating this clenching attachment.

But the body begins to appear more as a shell than as me. [pause]

Strong sensation and warmth in the abdomen that seems to support this perception.

As the intensity of the light increases, it seems so senseless to hold to this lesser form. By itself it drops away. Along more and more something like a vertical line of consciousness.

There is more and more awareness of others who are supporting this flow. I’m joining others who are abandoning lower forms. Finding the true importance of the higher. [pause]

Everything is golden, in a fluid way. Joining a universal breath. There’s almost no more importance to me here. It’s the participation that is all that matters. [pause]

I see the constrictions clearly. I sense them clearer than I ever sensed before – around the heart – fear and trauma. I am prevented by fear from fully allowing this movement of opening.

Jack: Certainly the first step is to see that.

Alfred: It’s as if I’m allowed to come close to those constrictions to really know what they’re about.

Jack: Right.

Alfred: To see that they’re not necessary and they don’t need to scare me. It’s just to come into contact with those layers. Constriction.

Jack: Yes, and there is enormous help present at this moment.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: So you really know that the fear is not needed. [pause]

Alfred: It’s odd to say that but there’s a certain kind of long and almost ancient conviction that I’m making my own light and I’m beating my own heart. This has to let go. As absurd as it is, it’s so real. I need to allow something entirely different and to recognize that the heart and the light are given, every second, every moment. [pause]

It’s so clear that the constriction is not in the quality of the giver. It is something that is alien to it. The giver gives so freely. [pause]

There’s a feeling that this intelligence wishes for me to know very precisely the point of contact between abundance and the constriction.

Jack: Yes, it sounds critical. [pause]

Alfred: It’s not for my own benefit. It feels like others depend on this.

Jack: Ah.

Alfred: This puts it in an entirely different context and allows more space. Because it felt like a stalemate until there was an awareness that’s it’s necessary for many others.

Jack: Yes, many – not just one or two.

Alfred: So it’s not only for me that I’m questioning and praying for some guidance as to how to allow what needs to flow and how what needs to permeate could enter. [pause]

The response is immediate. And the tensions immediately melt. Just for the asking. When it’s not for myself. All those who depend on me. When I haven’t understood what they need or what needs to pass onto them, there is no response.

Jack: Yes, and all the ones whom you don’t know who are dependent on you.

Alfred: Tears come up. And gratitude. Feeling that it’s not too late to understand something about that.

It’s almost like this body has to nurture other bodies. Literally. Food to sustain others.

Jack: Yes, and the heart needs to be open for that. [pause]

Alfred: That abundance of giving – not being in receiving mode – this immediately allays and calms the fear of not having enough. So that the receiving and the giving can be more free. Uninterrupted. One movement. It’s like a tree. Receiving from the top and passing on to the earth.

It feels like that’s my place – to offer no obstruction or obstacles to this movement. [pause]

Great love for the trees. I know there’s so much love I’ve developed for them. I was with the trees today and yesterday.

There’s no effort needed to allow the heart to be open. It seems so natural. [pause]

It’s like the in breath and the out breath are one. There’s no ego in the middle holding to anything that is passing through. Nothing of what is received is held onto.

But a thought can come and constrict. It is around wishing to hold onto some substance. It just comes in and that is such a clear misunderstanding. Everything that comes in needs to pass through and leave.

It is a direct teaching about grasping.

Jack: Yes.

Alfred: Very specifically about a particular area around the heart that releases and grasps again, releases and grasps. [pause]

I’m given to experience that, to discover that now in my life. No judgment about why I didn’t understand it earlier. No fear. Almost like every being has to discover that at some point. And my moment to receive that is just at the time when something in me is ready for that to happen. Maybe it could not have been ready any sooner. [pause]

It feels like one of those direct teachings in which one’s life cannot proceed afterwards as it did before. But… [chuckle] of course we know that’s not entirely true. But right now that seems very compelling.

Jack: Well, I think it’s good to feel the feeling of that – the feeling of its substantiality.

Alfred: Exactly.

Jack: And as you’ve often said to place a marker there to return to in daily life.

And I think there’s something about that dark stellar substance we started with that is more accessible than some other parts. So it’s a place to begin.

Alfred: It feels like a life substance.

Jack: Yes. Life.

Alfred: A very natural transition is taking place.

[and we end the session]

Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, In the Situation Room, Dark Blue Stellar Material.

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Turning Toward the Source Is a Turning Toward Feeling

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Alfred: So I think you and I have gotten gradually into allowing a certain concentration to take place without rushing.

Jack: Right. And I think it’s interesting that there’s been a kind of progression so that rather than me suggesting a certain line of concentration, you find your own concentration which means then it’s more independent. [pause]

Alfred: Stillness and listening feel very accessible.

Jack: That’s interesting. As if a channel has already been opened or opened a little wider than usual. [pause]

Alfred: A vivid image of lilacs at the lake. So vivid, so perfect with the raindrops on it. [pause]

But there is a sense that there’s a finer materiality that is not yet accessible because the body is not ready. It is sensed on the periphery but there’s too much density in the experience for it to enter. [long pause where Alfred seems to be asleep for a while]

There’s a light. As if I dozed off and woke up to that. A gentle light above the head. Flowing down to the body. Like a sun.

Jack: Yes, it may have been necessary to enter into sleep for a moment to be deep enough for that to appear. We don’t usually have a connection with the light near the beginning so it’s very interesting.

Alfred: Yes. And there’s an awareness of a landscape that is very unfamiliar. Grey green, watery. Water surface. [pause]

The head feels very open to influence. Something penetrates directly. There’s a need to allow that energy to be absorbed. I’m giving time to this process.

Jack: Yes. That’s good. [pause]

Alfred: It’s like a threshold. I’m trying to see where it’s going. There’s a certain fear that prevents me from allowing that to proceed.

But there’s a perfectly square structure. Building. Big stones. Very strange colors. Perfect joints. The word is entombed. That’s the feeling I have.

Jack: What is entombed?

Alfred: I am. I am being entombed in this structure. I see it from the inside. It’s like a perfect square. Large structure. Perhaps the size of this room. Windowless. The material is kind of intricate in that there’s a sense that those stones are perfectly joined and are at exactly right angles, a perfect square. They also can change their conductance and become transparent under certain conditions. That’s what is beginning to take place. What seemed to be opaque begins to be transparent, or begins to approach transparency. I can tell that it’s square blocks because I can see the seams. [pause]

It’s such an interesting teaching right now: Whether in our ordinary state or in this special state under hypnosis, it’s the same principle. The seeing is the center and it really has to be allowed to unfold. No different. So that as I allow that particular seeing, it flows from the top of the head and to the back. What comes with that is that there’s a certain kind of clarity to what is perceptible. It comes about independently and not as a result of any direct reaching or focusing.

The roof of that structure has either opened or become entirely transparent. It clearly has a cosmic or interplanetary purpose because now it’s directed at the dark, starry sky. This is important information, a validation, and it brings clarity.

There was an initial effort involved in recognizing or identifying that structure. This was preventing the experience from unfolding. It felt like the same structure that was discovered in the ground as I was plowing a field in Provence. [in a previous session] At that time it was not clear to me what it might have been. But it was also a kind of square buried structure or a crystal or something.

I have a certain awe in front of the firmament, the starry sky.

Jack: Yes, of course.

Alfred: Almost like a kind of seeking home base or my home planet in this wide swath of an infinite firmament. [pause]

It’s like a search by feeling. There are ongoing strong vibrations along the head. As if receiving periodic downloads where I need to wait until the file is completely downloaded. [pause]

And it’s kind of that kind of feeling of proximity, of a certain belongingness that translates into an accelerated movement towards the object…

Jack: The celestial object, the object in the sky?

Alfred: Yes, but it’s not yet clear. There is a sense of home. [pause]

The more the visual and the auditory can be abandoned, the more reliable the navigation by feeling, or by attraction, becomes. It also begins to clarify a certain connection with family. I’m seeing something like family pictures of blues. [blue beings] What makes it look like a family is the different heights.

Going home to visit my family is the kind of feeling. [pause]

The body is no longer its usual configuration or density. Lots of spaces between the molecules. It’s like a group of molecules traveling together which is experienced as I but it’s not anything I recognize as my planetary body. It’s like a body of awareness. [pause]

At first I thought I was the father of this family and that I’m coming to visit them from some type of base or different planet, some story or other. But now what seems much more compelling is that it might be some kin who are waiting for me to reach some level of maturity in order to join them. I’m not yet entirely formed. [pause]

It struck me in my meditation this morning, during moments of very pure perception and stillness, that I am faced with a question about understanding what my work with the astral body is. [pause]

So that it can become a body of the soul. [pause]

There’s a way in which the attachment to this body, to this planetary body needs to be further loosened for that other body to make itself present fully. [pause]

There were really very few moments when the planetary body, where the grip on it was loosened a bit. Its necessity is so in question. It’s so clear that it’s not necessary. Not necessary for whatever purposes this journey is taken. Much more can be gained by loosening it than by grasping. And the grasping of it does not seem any more to be out of fear or panic. It is more like a lack of skill in relinquishing it, which is something that is teachable and is being taught right now, directly.

Jack: So is it almost like a muscle letting go and relaxing?

Alfred: It’s like discovering that the heartbeat and the breathing, a particular kind of simple breathing, can be left behind in the physical body with no loss to the awareness. The awareness does not depend on the physical body.

But there’s a certain way in which this teaching, this direct experiencing, is facilitated by a source that is very mysterious. It’s not that I’m discovering this on my own, I’m being taught. The real necessity is to not be taken so much by what I just told you, but to be sensitive to the source. Because the part that wishes to know what is taking place is not the part that is active.

Jack: Yes. The part that wishes to know doesn’t really need to be involved, right?

Alfred: Right. Exactly.

Jack: Because something else is in progress.

Alfred: Turning toward the source is a turning towards feeling, to that kind of emanating benevolence that comes from a loving source. [pause]

This is the time where the area around the heart and the chest opens up. And this seems to allow access to a roomful of blue beings. Very crowded.

They don’t seem to be particularly interested in me. They seem to be preoccupied with something else and I’m joining them. Or they are worried about something else. Like attending to something they see, or their instruments. [pause]

There’s a certain way in which I need to remain active or receptive or else I’m taken by association. Even though those associations seem to come from a different source they’re still associations. [pause]

I have some sense that there’s an urgent and worried watching of some kind of flooding. Perhaps with instruments, or telescopes or on screens. So I’m not present in the situation but it’s watched from a distance. I think for a moment I was caught in the image so it felt real.

As if I’m looking above a kind of cliff where masses of water are flooding down a mountain. Over a valley. Knowing that this mass of water will submerge it. I took a kind of a leap back to that room with the other beings to not be completely taken by the image. Very green valley, very lush, with mountains on the edges. You see the water coming over the tops of the mountains and about to flood the valley. [pause]

There’s a sense that I’m carefully placed back here on my couch. Carefully and lovingly with a certain intensity of vibration all over the body intended to leave kind of a memory trace from whatever it is that was received. [pause]

Similar to the lesson from last session; a certain teaching in the process of the layering of the material body.

Jack: And the process of returning.

Alfred: Yes. This is not where the source lies.

Jack: No.

Alfred: Another reminder both in the return and in the departure.

Jack: Is there still a sense of the source inside?

Alfred: Oh, yes. The materiality of the body and the light and vibration of the source are both equally present. Very naturally. Without contradiction.

But the physical body seems to be entirely free of tensions. As I speak it begins to acquire its more tense and more dense configuration which obscures the luminosity – but not entirely.

Jack: Yes. It’s important that it’s not entirely.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

It’s as if the body has a luminous skeleton or structure on which it is dependent. It requires a certain effort, a sensitivity to stay in touch and stay connected with that. This familiar body is with its tensions and activities is coming into being again. Making its demands and requirements.

It’s interesting that that luminosity of vibration expands more from the outside than from within; more like an envelope than a core. It’s important to remember that for later. It’s almost like a parallax, like a distortion of a true perception that now with the body interfering with the reception – the ordinary body – it’s misperceiving the inner for the outer – like a projection that leads to striving and tension.

Almost as an affirmation, I had an image now of the whole Milky Way or starry night inside the body. The whole galaxy within the body.

Thank you. Thank you whoever is looking after us so well. Providing us with exactly what we need for our development. Nothing more; nothing less. Whatever it is that we can receive with our limited capacities.

Jack: Our limited abilities.

Alfred: Yes.

[session proper ends]

Alfred: That image of the water flowing over the mountains in the session very much echoes visions that I’ve been having these days. I don’t fight them. I don’t try to reason about them. But when I’m near tall mountains there have been sudden images of those mountains submerged under the water. Water coming into the valleys. Part of me gets agitated and panicky. I’m just noticing that.

Jack: And the quantity of water is higher than the mountains… in the sense that it comes over…

Alfred: Right now that’s what I saw. But I’m just seeing a moment in time. At times the mountains are covered by vegetation at times by water. Such changes are gripping and horrifying from the human point of view; but from an objective view, from a geological perspective it’s probably just a normal cycle.

Jack: What you saw was temporary.

Alfred: Yes.

That structure I was in was a cube. Between sessions, those perfect cubes keep coming to me. The Ka’aba came once for example. I spoke of entombment but I don’t think it was. It felt claustrophobic and it felt like that could have stopped me on the threshold and prevented me from entering into a deeper state. Once inside, it felt like some kind of space station.

Jack: Plus it opened!

Alfred: It opened and when I woke up it almost opened like an iris into a sky.

Did you resonate with anything in particular?

Jack: It might be interesting to piece together something like a composite journey now that we have more material. Each session has always slightly more detail or angles on what’s going on.

Alfred: Specifically, there are two aspects. One is the content or what is revealed though this in terms of a place and a time and action but then there is the whole teaching about transformation which I report about in terms of experiences in the body, experiences of awareness. It feels like that’s the key, that’s where the teaching is becoming more and more precise.

Each session has the moment of saturation, a moment where something is collected enough to make that leap to the next level.

Jack: And I’m struck by how almost abrupt it is. It goes to a certain point and then click you’re back – not instantly but quite quickly compared to the rest of the progression.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: It’s as if… “OK that’s enough for today.”

There was no continuation or resolution of the difficulty that was being visualized on screens. It doesn’t develop into a story – like what happened before in earlier sessions.

Alfred: Right.

Jack: But it’s still obviously happening somewhere.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: And these blue beings – that’s their specialty it seems – helping in situations.

Alfred: Yes. There was a kind of monitoring, close monitoring of that situation.

Jack: Yes. So what was going on was clear… but you weren’t drawn into it at all. Except to see it clearly. And you feel that you’re one of them; you’re not foreign to the situation.

Alfred: No, I wasn’t drawn into it. I was in the situation room with them. It wasn’t about me. That’s another thing, it was not like previous sessions where it seemed like there were beings assisting me to transform or something. It’s like I’m joining a situation there, as if I have an existence there, and nobody makes a big fuss about someone showing up. I just take my form there that is there waiting to be taken.


Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Montségur 2, Quetzalcoatl, What We Have Bodies For, Slave Ships, Planetary Signs and Universal Perspectives, The Altar of Gold, The Breath Can Touch the Mind, The Battlefield That Has No End, The Quick and the Dead, The Relay Station, There Is No Difference, The Uninterrupted Chain of Beings Ascending, Adjusting a Planet’s Orbit, Our Living Planet, Body and Soul, Turning Toward the Source Is a Turning Toward Feeling.

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The Disciples

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2017, text and images)

Jack: And the third little exercise I like to do is just have you now think of some place. It can be the same place we went to last time in Michigan or wherever you feel you need to be right now. Just take your time and come to something and when you feel ready you can begin to tell me about it and the telling of it also will take us closer to the subconscious because it’s dealing in pictures and images. So when you feel ready just say something about where you are now Samuel.

Samuel: I went quite naturally to the summit of a mountain in Switzerland. I was sitting at the back of the house where I’d been for a week. Everyone had gone and I was sitting alone. In the sunlight. And feeling part of the mountains on the other side of the valley. Feeling completely integrated with it. I’m searching for another word which is deeper than that. Just really feeling completely a part of it – indistinguishable from it. Feeling a part of the mountains and the valley. I can see it now.

Jack: Good. Beautiful.

Samuel: Completely in the atmosphere of it. Part of the atmosphere of it. Indistinguishable from it.

Jack: Well, just stay for a while and see what that influence brings to you. It’s already very strong and installed in you. There’s a communication or a communion taking place.

Samuel: I feel bathed in it. Like a baptism. Again.

Jack: Again, yes.

Samuel: A reminder. I’m part of it. I belong to it. I’m nourished by it.

And I’m in the water and I’m [intonation of disbelief] in these white robes. Being immersed by somebody under the water and coming up. My face to the sun. There’s a hand on my head pushing me under and then coming back up. It’s all light. And it’s coming out of the water. It’s light. Water sparkling. And a feeling… just this joy of coming back into life.

And there are others around – other disciples – who are also joyful. It’s like I’m being renewed for them not just for myself.

Jack: Right.

Samuel: I can’t see who was pushing me under and allowing me to come back up. But I sense this benevolence.

Jack: You have a sense of the vibration of the person.

Samuel: Yes, and that’s connected to something very, very high. Just as to a source. It’s coming through this person. And into me.

Jack: Ah. Into you as well. So you are bathed not just in the water but in this influence.

Samuel: In this light.

Jack: In the light, I see.

Samuel: And it’s a seashore.

Jack: I see.

Samuel: There are people on the beach as well as these other people in white robes standing in the water. There’s such a feeling of being embraced by their love.

And these tears of joy that mix with the water.

Jack: Both of them salty.

Samuel: Yes, part of the water.

Jack: Beautiful.

Samuel: Yes. It’s in the afternoon. There are beautiful clouds in the sky. Sparkling light on the water. [whispering] I’m standing with my eyes closed and yet I can somehow see everything. Horizon. On the sea.

Jack: You can see the horizon?

Samuel: Yes. I can see the horizon.

Jack: You can see a long way?

Samuel: Yes, a long way. Much further than the lake. It’s the sea.

Jack: Because it’s the sea.

Samuel: It’s the sea.

I’m aware of the shoreline. We’re in a little cove. And there are boats. Fishing boats. Brightly colored. Little masts. Everything very calm. Very tranquil. Almost nothing moving. Just this gentle movement of the water. Very small gentle waves that are just lapping on the shore, on the sand.

And now the others are coming to greet me. I’m turned towards the shore and they’re coming. They’re putting their arms around me. And I’m just so happy to be with them. And they’re a whole group, very close, arms around each other and around me. And I’m feeling such deep love. Smiling through these tears.

Jack: Beautiful.

Samuel: I can’t really see who they are but I feel their presence. They are individuals and yet they are interconnected. They’re part of one another. They are individuals but they make a whole. In its embrace.

Now I see a bit of their smiling faces as well. Deep faces. Deep with life. With a living life. It’s suffering. And it’s joy. Both together. Feeling this suffering.

It’s an extraordinarily beautiful day. The sunlight and the beach. And they are bringing me up to the shore very slowly and carefully out of the water. Into the sunlight on the beach.

And there’s a town, a little village that’s there. Not right there on the shore but back a little bit. And we’re walking up the beach. Almost all of us together, all connected, holding one another. A phalanx of these robed people. Coming back into the normal life. The everyday life.

And this connection to the water at the same time. Feeling a kind of trail of sparkling light back to the water. Almost floating. Up in the air. Carried by this sparkling light. There’s a trail that goes back to the water, back to this place of baptism where they carried me onto the shore. But now I’m floating above it. I’m not walking but floating above it.

Jack: Good.

Samuel: Being carried by these angels.

Jack: Very beautiful.

Samuel: Now they’re less formed as human beings – more ethereal now. And yet still quite apparent. I’m floating with them. Carried in the stream of light from the water. Like being buoyed by it. Not going anywhere. This group I’m with. I’m sort of hovering above the beach. And a feeling of connection to this village. Of the life within it. All the full spectrum of life. Of the petty and the sublime. And the sorrow. And the happiness. But it’s in this quiet afternoon. It’s all there. Just like it’s nap time for everyone. But it’s all there. In this little village – every aspect of humanity. Quiet in this afternoon. Very calm and peaceful.

It’s ancient. It’s of a scale that I remember seeing in Sicily. These ruins of villages. Very small. The streets very small. And the houses and rooms very small. Almost like a miniature – but real – not a miniature.

It’s humanity and how it’s manifest in this village, in people. Surrounded by this forest but very sparse. It’s an island. Shoreline vegetation. Maybe an island. And this gentle hill rolling up behind it. No major big trees like we have here. And it’s all bathed in the warm afternoon light. Everything’s so quiet. I’m still there. Coming back to the beach. My feet in the sand. Still accompanied but not by any recognizable person. Just the feeling of this gathering still very much with me. Still all very… These realms mixing – the realm of the real and the tangible and this other ethereal influence. And I feel I need to remember that I’m accompanied by them… always.

Jack: That accompaniment is always there.

Samuel: Always there. [whispered] Always with me. There’s love and support and encouragement.

We’re walking towards the village. Very slowly. Almost not walking just moving towards it. Somehow I’m larger than I should be with respect to this village. [intonation of disbelief] Moving towards it but not getting in it. Just there. I’m turning back to the sea just now empty and calm. Sand. Going into the water. The lapping of the water on the beach. The sparkling sunlight and the edge of it as the water flows up onto the beach. Like a necklace. A sparkling necklace on the shoreline.

The beauty of it. The extraordinary beauty of it. But it’s not something I’m just looking at and appreciating. It’s that I’m included in it. It’s like I’m embraced by the beauty of it. By the beauty itself. I’m being held by it. Breathing the beauty in. Having it flow through me. Through every part of my body.

Blue sky. This calm sea. And the feeling of God’s presence. In everything. It just came into my mind.

And now I’m quite large. It’s like I’ve taken in the whole scene in my arms that are outstretched like the shoreline. Embracing this beauty myself somehow.

Jack: Don’t worry about “how” – the size is an indication of something else.

Samuel: An extending of my embrace of this world. Being embraced back. Like a hug. The hug from the beauty of the world. A laughter coming from that. A kind of celebration.

Jack: Yes, it’s a celebration.

Samuel: Being in life. A celebration of being in life. And it’s so joyful. So beautiful. And I weep on its beauty.

Now it’s naturally fading.

Jack: Ah!

Samuel: But still there, just in a different way. Not fading as much as being transformed into something else.

And the thought of a setting sun. But that’s not what’s happening.

Jack: But that’s a symbol of what’s happening.

Samuel: It’s not yet the end of the day; it’s a movement into something else. Leaving the shore behind. Being part of this unending twilight. It’s not a twilight. It’s the beginning of the evening and the sky is still blue but a darker blue. The stars have not appeared yet. The sea is still there but it’s more the sky. There’s a glow at the edge of the horizon of a brighter blue and this deeper blue that’s up above.

I’m there with it and in it at the same time. Indistinguishable from it. Or a part of it. Becoming the sky.

Hmm. And this thought: this is a kind of death and reawakening. But that thought has come from another place in myself. It’s not actually a description of the scene. It’s something applied to it. It feels partial. And small in comparison to the experience of it. It’s not really a description of it. It’s from another part of myself. It’s grounded in something else that is very distant from this. But included in a benign way – not interfering with the sky, this night sky.

And the disciples are on the beach again. Looking up. Looking up I think at me in the… somewhere in between them and this big blue sky. I’m somehow in between. And they’re just standing on the beach. Maybe as a reminder to return. I’m coming back to them. And their smiling faces. Gentle smiles. Very calm. And I’m with them. None of the gestures of embrace. Just being a part of this group. Now witnessing together this scene at the end of the day. And now turning and walking back into the village. Disappearing into it. Disappearing. [pause]

We become a part of it. A part of this nature and the village. The village and the natural surroundings are all together. Like in a painting with everything painted together. Somehow we’re in it. We’re in the village. Not in any concrete way. Not in any physical form but in the life of the village. Not people – it’s kind of curious. But I don’t feel it’s empty. It’s not… personal.

Jack: So as if the village has it’s own life?

Samuel: Yes, it has its own life. It’s impersonal. It’s completely communal. It’s got a collective life – all the individuals have been blended. It’s the ultimate commune. And they’re there – individuals are part of it. Now they’re becoming more distinct. It’s like life is bubbling up in its usual form. All the laughter. [chuckles] Shoving and pushing. A range of people. Full spectrum. All kinds of people.

Now I’m reengaging in simply what people do. I have a sense of this humanity and the natural world. Simply engaging in the way they engage – all part of a natural law of engagement. Each species and each plant when they’re part of whatever it might be. They’re playing it out. Being. Being themselves. One being. All of a piece all together.

And then it’s receding. I’m leaving it.

Jack: Yes. It’s not a place you can stay but you certainly visited it. You were there.

Samuel: It’s so vivid, Jack!

Jack: Yes, yes.

Samuel: It’s so vivid in a way that’s beyond what I normally consider to be vivid. It’s not the surface of it. It’s everything about it. It’s the inside of it. It’s indescribable because it’s everything. It’s an appreciation of everything.

I’m breathing it now. It’s going down through every part of my body, right down to the fingertips, the tips of my toes.

Jack: Yes, the body can absorb it.

Samuel: That’s what it feels like. It’s like I’m digesting it, in quite a natural way – nothing forced. Nothing beyond what is essential. Being part of its lawfulness.

Such a gift!

Jack: Yes. It’s a gift. A gift that is now part of you.

Samuel: I feel it.

Jack: I think what is so important is that the ordinary consciousness is involved. It’s something that you will remember clearly for a long time. Because it’s part of you.

Samuel: I feel how the world has gotten so much bigger…

Jack: Yes. Exactly.

Samuel: …to include these visitations. And now I’m feeling the presence of the others as well…

Jack: You mean the others who were with you there?

Samuel: No, the presence of the previous experiences in these realms. Maybe it’s one realm. I can remember. But this one right now is very palpable.

Jack: Yes.

Samuel: I can almost feel the sand in my toes.

Jack: Yes, exactly. That’s where the body comes in and is so helpful. Because it stores the impression in a way that you can return to it.

Samuel: Oh, it was extraordinary! I’m remembering again the hand pushing me, as if in slow motion, into the water. And coming back up in the light, and the bubbles, everything about it. It’s so rich and I’m so surprised it can reappear like that.

Jack: It’s so surprising it could appear at all in the first place!

Samuel: Yes, I guess that’s right.

Jack: Interesting transition from Switzerland.

Samuel: Yes! Who knew that’s where it would go. Oh my goodness! You’re reminding me of that!

Jack: Yes, you traveled a long way from there…

Samuel: It’s a doorway to another world.

Jack: It was the contact with the landscape that allowed you access I think.

Samuel: How did I end up on that beach in the water?

Jack: It happened very quickly, right? Suddenly you were there.

Samuel: It needed to appear.

Jack: Yes, it needed to appear.

Other postings in this series: The Fact of God, The Disciples.

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