01-flower-img_8410(Jack Cain © 2014, text and images)

 Alfred: There’s a sense of darkness and a kind of reptilian movement. Undulating. [long pause] The movement is experienced in an enormous body. It is experienced both from inside and outside that body. Perhaps it’s Quetzalcoatl.

Jack: The feathered serpent.

Alfred: I think it is feathered but I’m not sure because it appears to be rapidly moving in interstellar space. It has striking colors – gold and red and green – shimmering.

The vision is incredible, a 360 degree taking in. Planets, heavenly bodies all around. A very powerful movement of flying. [long pause]

There was a direction to that. It felt like there was a direction to this movement – some kind of purpose or destination which I need to allow to appear. It comes in and out of focus.

Jack: Yes, exactly. You need to make sure you’re not going with a distraction. I think it’s good to connect in feeling too because you can feel the direction more easily than seeing it.

Alfred: Yes, that’s helpful. There’s a certain longing for unification, for reuniting with something that right now I’m separated from. [pause]

There’s an increase in intensity in the vibration, in the movement towards the light. Something is becoming brighter and brighter. The intensity of the light is becoming part of a sphere. It’s an incredibly illuminated sphere that this being, Quetzalcoatl, merges with, dissolves into, all surrounded by light. There is still awareness of his being. Completely illuminated.

Trusting this process. [pause]

The light diminishes now into grey – into a kind of grey landscape. It appears to be a grey town. Overcast weather and people on the street. Very grey. Almost no colors.

Jack: In contrast to the brilliant colors you were seeing a little while ago.

02-grey-img_8541Alfred: It transformed into that landscape and into that scenery. Like an industrial town – like a Glasgow or a Manchester – the way one of those British industrial towns would look.

It seems that one house is brighter and has a light in it. I seem to be attracted to that house. It has something blue about it. The light seems to be coming from the second floor or the attic. There are certain blue walls around it.

There seems to be a gathering although I’m not confident about that.

I’m joining that gathering. The room that I’ve entered seems much larger than how it appeared from the outside. With rugs. The room seems to be suited to that type of sitting in a circle with rugs and unfamiliar objects. [pause]

There’s a need to connect to the feeling and to the connection with these people. Right now that connection is not accessible. It’s clear there’s a purpose for my joining this group but I still feel distant – as if I haven’t found the thread. [pause]

Jack: Is there a need to relax in the forehead or some other part?

Alfred: Yes.

To be less preoccupied with what’s next and more with what’s now. [pause]

There’s a kind of expansion of the field of vision that is clearly limited by some effort or strain on my part. It expands into an observatory from where the whole surface of that planet can be seen from where we’re sitting. [pause]

I’m struck by how blue – deep blue – the surface I’m sitting on is. It feels either like a very deep rug or something that is liquid. It’s a very grounding experience. What is very clear is the texture of something very supportive, deep blue. It has a movement to it. It makes me wish to say that it could be floating. Perhaps it’s a raft or a boat or… And there’s an urgency to connect to others.

Jack: And are you aware of the presence of others or is that not clear?

Alfred: I’m aware that they are there. But I’m aware that there’s a certain intensity that needs to be increased in that connection in order to perceive. That intensity cannot come through the visual … almost as if through sensation something clarifies itself.

It’s with the breathing.

The movement up and down suggests that we are on water. [pause]

Through direct transmission of light through me, coming from above, the light begins to flow to the people around me. They are not very clear visually but they clearly require that substance. [pause]

Jack: So the connection is becoming a little clearer…

Alfred: Yes.

These people are sitting around me in a circle. They have an almost statue-like quality – just because they’re so motionless. A kind of Seza posture of meditation and prayer. [pause]

Something wants to say that they have Assyrian features that you would see on Assyrian statues with their curly hair and elongated faces. [pause]

There’s a certain death that is required to all my extraneous interests.

Jack: So it means a more intense focus… [pause]

Alfred: There’s a very strong feeling of looking for results in the wrong place in the sense of holding to a certain form that I have been accustomed to and that no longer serves. And the difficulty in giving it up and just trusting that source to show a different direction.

Jack: Yes – really accepting that you don’t know. [pause]

Alfred: With that, there’s a certain letting go that seems to be more natural… letting go of a grasping… as if I’m rising from the bottom of an ocean on a beam of vibration. The light intensifies. Where the blue passes through grey, the light increases. [pause]

It leads back to a source… to that sphere.

Still little flashbacks to that circle of Assyrians at the bottom of an ocean or something. A certain sadness, a certain remorse or regret in relation to that.

As the light becomes more intense, there’s a certain melting into a totality.

[Note: There is a transition taking place here that neither Jack nor Alfred was entirely clear about during the session itself. Later Alfred explained that he was not entirely cognizant that the Assyrians in the circle were already dead. He was desperately trying to revive them but was not successful. Gradually it became clear that the time for that circle which he had a great attachment to and a long history with was over.

The scene now moves on at this point to an entirely different and very alive set of beings.]

There is a sense of closeness to a source, to others. The light is too intense to make out features or detail. But it seems to emanate from those individuals, those lighted shadows. There was a glimpse of a table with sacred individuals around it. [pause]

It’s almost not clear whether what I’m saying is leading or following this movement but I have a place among them. There’s a kind of a sense of recognizing what I have gone through in giving up, in letting go. As if those around me know of that work, of that experience. I am feeling incredibly supported because I didn’t know that my experience was a shared experience. My attachment to that Assyrian group that I have left behind seems, from this place, to be so clearly a clinging. It wasn’t possible to see that from where I was before.

03-snail-img_8598Deep gratitude flows towards those individuals around me. It’s all so brightly lighted that it’s kind of hard on the eyes. But the feeling is very clear. [pause]

I have to call those individuals “angels” – there’s no other name. I was searching for another name. It’s not clear why but the feeling is very clear. [pause]

Jack: Yes, the feeling may tell you more than the mind trying to find the right word.

Alfred: There’s a part of me that is seeking a purpose or what’s next and there’s a certain unhurriedness and complete presence in those individuals that helps me not to be too concerned with whatever comes next, with what there is for me to do, for me to serve – all those questions are no longer necessary.

Jack: So what’s important is just where you are.

Alfred: Yes. Because I was preoccupied. I wasn’t aware there was an increase in the intensity. There’s more and more light flowing. [pause]

More and more that can be received. [pause]

We are being sustained from above. [pause]

There is a very interesting clarity about the confusion between the capacity to perceive, to absorb and an identification that is completely unnecessary. The whole process of perception is an absorption that does not require anything other than absorption.

Jack: Yes, that’s not a requirement – it’s just what’s taking place, right?

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: It’s not something you’re doing…

Alfred: Not at all. It’s just that there’s a part of me that cannot conceive that there’s no boundaries to me or to anything. But the fact is so clear and it’s such a clear instruction. There are no limits to what can be absorbed and no limits to what is offered.

Jack: So it’s kind of a teaching through instruction, through just experiencing what is taking place.

Alfred: Exactly. [pause]

And there’s no need for greed because there’s no limit to what is offered. All qualities such as greed so clearly come from something external to that. [pause]

I’m given the teaching of the breath as a marker for this. Both breath and air are symbols and a very practical teaching of the limitlessness in what can be received and in what is offered.

Jack: So it seems like there’s a kind of coming together – what is offered and what is received.

Alfred: And it’s offered with such abundance almost as if to dispel any doubt or any anxiety about scarcity.

Everything is made of that materiality or energy. It can become anything. [pause]

It feels like I have not only received a teaching but I have also received a bookmark.

Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Monségur 2, Quetzalcoatl.


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Montségur 2


(Copyright © Jack Cain 2016, text and images)


Jack: I am beginning to feel a very active connection with the breathing.

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: Very helpful to help me relax out of my busy-ness.

Alfred: Especially that part that is anxiously watching whether something is happening. It can be put on hold and asked not to interfere.

Jack: Yes. [pause]

Alfred: It seems like the perception is deepening in whatever energies are circulating. [pause]

Something is concentrating in the capacity to just witness. [pause]

And it’s like the perceptions of sensation, of sounds, seem to be a smaller fraction of a much larger perceptual field which has not made its details known yet. [pause]

Jack: Yes, it really does seem like a shift of perceptive equipment as if new equipment is required.

Alfred: It’s like capacities that are there are becoming more accessible and there are flickers of images of rooms, of hallways with a lot of activity.

It’s a part of our recent conversation – trying to trust that whatever needs to be discovered or experienced will be find its way to be accessed rather than me reaching for it. There’s a new patience for it to reach me rather than me straining. So those images are flickering… There are underground passages, although there’s light, some activity… perhaps it’s a kind of a battle – a lot of pressured, harried activity. People rushing back and forth.

There was a glimpse of a blue cape, someone tall wearing a blue cape –– with gold fringes around it. Very majestic. Deep blue. Might be the person of authority there. [longer pause]

My mind – or something – was naturally trying to discover the audio for this visual. It seems to be the sound of battle – swords clashing – explosions – very loud noises.

I have the face of that person as a kind of – it’s not a living face, it’s a kind of a picture – but I had only a glimpse. It’s like one of those Dutch nobles in a Rembrandt’s painting. Classic master. With a goatee. Tall, black hair, very handsome. Carrying an authority that seems to be emanating from within. [longer pause]

Very subtle drift of the mind toward speculations which is OK… I just need to allow the attention to settle back and to concentrate, to let go of associations. [pause]

It’s very clear that the restriction of what’s perceived is not in what’s offered but in the perception, in the sensitivity. [longer pause]

So I limit myself to what’s perceived, which is a kind of a rooftop within a castle. It’s at the top of a mountain, very high, the highest point of that mountain range. It seems to be at the height of that battle – although the auditory and visual are not coming in because the image was silent. So maybe the sound is just speculation.

Actually I see beautiful valleys with rolling hills and fields at a distance, way down. The air feels very pleasant. It feels like a perfect day in terms of how the sun brings out all the colors of the wheat in the fields…

Jack: It seems like just engaging the perception with what is being perceived is what helps to keep it open and perceiving.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

It’s a fine balancing of letting the perception lead rather than leading it.

With that it’s possible for the imagery and scenery to stabilize a little more.

Jack: Good.

Alfred: It seems like it’s that tower at the high point of Montségur – the way I have experienced that particular area.

And it seems like a time of great peace has taken over from that initial scene of turmoil. It’s almost like being back at a time when that place was at peace because I’m on the top of that tower and I’m taking in all of the surroundings and there’s no sense of threat or imminent doom as there was at the very beginning.

I’m resisting the curiosity to know more about it and am just letting myself be led by what’s going on.

Jack: Yes, just be led by whatever image or perception you’re attracted to.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

There are stairs, quite elaborate, from the tower or from the roof of that tower to what might be a refectory or dining room. The details of the path are not as clear as is my now sitting there. It seems like there is a kind of head table with others around.

I’m not clear yet about the people that occupy that space.

But it’s very clear that I’m breaking bread. I almost feel the freshness of the bread that is hot and just baked. I think it’s part of a ritual of starting the meal by breaking bread. There’s a bowl with what seems to be coarse salt. I think the bread is broken and distributed. I have part of it in my hand and I put salt on it. It’s part of a benediction.

As I’m looking across, light is coming in through stained-glass windows. Ruby red and cobalt blue. [pause]

Jack: Beautiful.

Alfred: The colors blend with the bread. I can see that. [pause]

white-on-blue-img_8517A very clear waiting for something to become saturated. [pause]

I seem to raise the bread – in my right hand I think. Slowly. Then, I get a glimpse of the hall, a very large room, filled with people, who similarly raise their right hand with the bread.

Feelings come. There’s a kind of light that turns to white. Like a glimpse of the Christ. Very light. [big breath] Lots of feelings. We are all part of it, part of Christ. Inseparable.

A gesture with the hand outlining a cross. It is a permission for all of us to consume the bread. [big breath] [very long pause]

There’s a sense now of things taking their regular appearance in that gathering. We’re having a meal together – people speak and chat.

There’s a very strong awareness of what has just taken place with the benediction as well as the fate of this place that I may be more acutely aware of than the people gathered.

Jack: Yes. Probably.

Alfred: And it seems there is no contradiction in that. But there is sadness. Also the absolute necessity that whatever is taking place will continue to take place. [pause]

But… it’s not entirely correct. It seems that that moment of light has left its mark… a kind of urgency.

Jack: You’re describing what you’re feeling inside, right Alfred?

Alfred: Yes. But it’s not only feeling – it’s a kind of a very necessary urgency and action in the light of the impending ending of the existence of this place.

There’s a need to act to preserve, to protect something very precious that that brotherhood and this order has accumulated.

I’m waiting for guidance. [pause]

I’m in a smaller room. It feels very intimate and closed. Maybe a basement or crypt or a vault. I’m with a group of elders. [pause]

It’s so clear that something needs to be purified in the attention for this connection to be received. [pause]

riven-img_8506Jack: So is something still happening in that lower room?

Alfred: It’s hard to stay in touch with that. The last thing is that no one seems to be surprised by whatever needs to take place. It seems like a plan or something that was in place all along now just needs to be mobilized, activated.

There was an image, interestingly, an image of a very peculiar looking mountain – as my attention was a little more fragmented – but there was an image of a mountain that looks pointy with a spiral type of road leading towards the height – not very high – growing out of the… no it’s not true… not growing out of the ocean. Of course, something in me said Mont St-Michel – as a kind of a potential destination of whatever needs to be transferred, or rescued, or smuggled to protect whatever it is that the current situation will endanger. I think my colleagues there understand and are prepared for that. They probably will make their departure right away… or soon because there’s no time to lose.

Jack: So that’s related to the sense of urgency you felt throughout.

Alfred: Yes. [pause]

It seems like there’s a part of me that wishes to check in, to reconnect with that higher force. Perhaps to fortify that resolve. I think that the understanding in the gathering with the elders is that I will be there to protect the others and to take the last stand or something like that. [pause]

Jack: And this will allow them to rescue what needs to be rescued it seems…

Alfred: Exactly.

There’s a struggle going on between this certainty of the destruction of everybody and the place itself and the sense of completing something sacred. Serving something sacred. [pause]

There is a farewell it seems by a gate or secret door or passageway. I think there are three elders. Capes. Maybe dressed as peasants. Something very simple. Each one of them holds me. Or perhaps it’s all of them – it’s the four of us – the three of them and me – holding each other in a circle. [pause]

Inseparable. My fate is not different from anybody else’s. [pause]

Although the mind insists otherwise. [pause]

We all experience that. It’s a shared vibration. [pause]

No doubt. [pause]

It seems like I’m on my knees. Praying.

Jack: Because they’ve left now, right?

Alfred: Yes. I’ve seen them through their departure.

I’m praying for wisdom, for guidance, to help my brothers here to make their passing. [pause]

I seem too agitated ever to receive anything but to know this agitation.

Jack: Yes. I think a part of you knows that that agitation can quieten

Alfred: Yes.

Jack: And you can move towards a receptive state.

Alfred: I need to allow the turmoil to be just as it is. [pause]

The body seems to offer a direction. Awareness of how little time is left in this body. Allow something to settle. [pause]

A certain stillness. [pause]

The absolute necessity not to succumb to fragmentation. It’s very clear. So I make my way up. To face whatever comes next.

Jack: Right.

Alfred: It feels like a completion of this process.

Jack: Yes.

Alfred: It’s almost like daybreak. The dawn beginning. The sun. The light coming over the horizon. And I’m clear about what internally I need to be true to. [pause]

I’m back in my room.

bark-img_8591Other postings in this series:

Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Monségur 2

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Perfect Darkness

01 abandonned building IMG_8099(Copyright © Jack Cain 2016, text and images)

Steve: All I see is darkness. Perfect darkness. [sigh]

When I was going back in time it was very hard to see anything else but the darkness.

Jack: That’s fine. That’s just fine – because that is what the subconscious has chosen as a beginning. So it’s perfectly all right.

Of course sometimes it’s simply darkness because where you’re going doesn’t have any light. Or maybe it’s just nighttime. So there are various possibilities but I’d like you to stay with the fact that you are in front of darkness. Sometimes it’s just a matter of staying, accepting that that’s what you have to face – the darkness. It’s not easy because it’s unknown. It’s important to just stay with whatever is there; whatever is taking place. Sometimes there can begin to be a movement in the darkness as if things are moving inside it. There could be points of light. For each person it’s his or her own journey of course. [pause]

Just tell me a little bit about what’s happening right now.

Steve: I think I’m in some sort of cave or grotto. And there’s a kind of a path that you have to walk up inside and in the middle of the grotto. And there is a man holding a kind of staff with a lantern on it. It’s dim but it’s slowly getting brighter and illuminating the grotto.

Jack: Yes. It’s important not to rush – just allow the scene to develop and the light to get brighter so you can see more.

And are you facing this man? Is he looking at you?

Steve: Yes, he’s looking at me. He looks very stern. [pause]

He’s asking me what am I doing here…

I think there are some paintings on the cave walls but I can’t quite make them out. They seem to be red in color.

Jack: Well, maybe you need to answer his question.

Tell him why you’re taking this journey.

Steve: The first thing I told him is – I actually don’t know why I said it – I said that I’m seeking forgiveness. He got agitated and said, “There is no forgiveness here.”

I then told him that I seek healing to move forward in life. He said, “There’s no moving forward in life. They only walk in circles. Look around you.”

I think he means that you can only walk along the periphery of the grotto. If you walk along the circular walkway along the inner wall of the grotto, you would walk in circles.

[Detail provided by Steve later to help visualize the place: The Grotto was doughnut-shaped, a bit like being on the inside of a “flying saucer.” You could walk around in circles along the inner walls, but in the center was an elevated mound with only one path up to the top, near the open-centered ceiling of the grotto.]

02 Moon IMG_8335Jack: So maybe you could ask him what he advises you to do. [pause]

Steve: He wants me to figure out the riddle on the wall before I can come up and join him on top of the mound. [pause]

The only way out is up.

Hmm. It seems to be true. It seems to be a kind of sealed grotto. There doesn’t seem to be any way out except at the top.

I still can’t make out what’s on the walls.

Jack: Take your time. You mentioned that there was some red.

Steve: Yes, it seems to be very large strokes of red paint. It’s not even letters. It’s more almost like pictograms, but… [pause]

The paint is still fresh. [pause]

I ask him for more light. He won’t give it to me. [pause]

Jack: Well, if you could just concentrate with your inner vision. Don’t try too hard to look. Just accept that the content of what’s on the wall can enter into you. Maybe concentrate on your forehead, your third eye, because it can see everything. As if the meaning of the riddle on the wall is entering through your third eye.

Steve: [whispering at first as if still reading or receiving with difficulty.] “We can only make as much as we are…” It’s funny I can read the first two-thirds but I can’t seem to read the last third.

Jack: Take your time. Maybe concentrate particularly on the area of the heart. The heart can read sometimes what the head cannot. [pause]

Steve: [whispering again first] “In division comes wholeness.” And that’s it.

I think it’s saying that I can’t make anything happen because I’m too divided. He seems to agree. [long pause]

He’s saying, in order to become whole I should talk to myself. And I say, “That’s what I’ve been trying to do.” [pause]

He’s disappeared.

And there’s this blue, feminine energy being who’s come down and she’s kind of holding my cheeks, saying, “It’s OK.”

03 purple and white flowers IMG_8384Jack: Good.

Steve: She’s taking me to the upper part of the central grotto, telling me to take the lantern staff.

Jack: So now you are carrying the lantern and the staff?

Steve: Yes. She says I have to quest to be whole. To go and find the lost pieces of myself. To use the lantern to help me look for them and find them. [pause]

The lantern is pointing to a place in the wall where there seems to be some sort of hidden door.

Jack: Good.

Steve: I tried to open the door but there was a war behind it – a native American war. It seems like two warring tribes.

Jack: Are you supposed to go through the door or not?

Steve: I think so. The lantern is pointing that way.

Jack: Right.

Steve: OK. [as if gradually figuring it out] So… There’s chaos everywhere. And there’s a little child standing still in the open, crying. And there’s a horse rider that clubs him in the head and he falls dead. And there seems to be a piece of him that just fractures off – a piece of soul. The lantern is pointing to it. [pause]

I take it and bring it back into the cavern. The door closes and seals behind me as if it was never there.

I ask the blue energy being, “What was the point of this?”

She says, “It’s a process.”

It just seems cruel. [pause]

It is what it is.

Jack: I think that’s important. Don’t allow your thinking mind to color it too much. That mind will have its own reactions but you need to feel the connection with this blue energy being who is helping you. So let’s just see what needs to happen next.

Steve: She’s urging me to keep going.

Jack: Yes.

Steve: The next door opens. And it’s a scene that the psychic had described to me. [Described to Jack by Steve before the session began.] There’s a man that’s me on a kind of stage. And I’m demonstrating some sort of energetic prowess or soul manipulation. People seem impressed. [pause]

I’ve kind of stepped into him. I can feel how glad and prideful he is. He’s happy with the outcome. His will will get him socially advanced.

There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong here. Why am I seeing this?

Jack: Yes you need to find that out.

Steve: [Azar-Mik speaking:] It is just showing that we can become whole.

We can help you.

Jack: Who’s this now who can help?

Steve: As a template. Remember him and he’ll be able to guide you in this life. Word. [pause] Ah. I see. He’s Azar-Mik. I actually met him through meditation but I didn’t know it was him.

Jack: Yes. So an important contact.

Steve: [intonation of surprise] He’s giving me something. A kind of silver… silver rod with a bulbous end. [Later comment by Steve: I now recognize it as a simplified Aspergillum.] 04 aspergillumAnd there are some grooves in it. For purification. All right. [pause]

I’m now back in the cave. [pause]

I ask, “What now?” and she says to keep going.

The being points to another door.

This one has darkness. It’s just pitch black. I can’t see anything. She says, “This is the scariest one.” [pause]

Jack: Yes, it’s hard. But it has to be faced.

Steve: There’s a voice in here saying, “I see you.” I’m trying to get the lantern to illuminate but it doesn’t seem to have any effect. [pause]

I ask, “Who is it?” And the answer is, “I am your mind. I am your heart. I am your sins.” [pause]

I ask it to come out and talk.

Doesn’t answer.

Jack: Just continue. Just stay there.

It takes a certain strength to stay there in the darkness. [long pause]

What’s happening now Steve?

Steve: Actually, a lot happened.

I put the silver bulbous thing inside the lantern and so light now kind of erased all the darkness. And this demon-monster-cursed-contaminated version of me just came up to me – it’s the one holding me back. So I gave it the lantern and that started kind of healing and purifying him. I think he’s my soul.

Jack: Don’t worry about defining it. Just follow the process.

Steve: And the darkness kind of went away. And he started regaining his natural appearance. And he said, “Thank you.” and then just went away with the staff. [pause]

I’m back in the grotto. The energy being seems very pleased. She says it was much easier than she expected. And she thinks I’m ready now. Ready to continue.

Jack: OK.

05 Fountain IMG_8312Steve: And now she says I have to choose. All the doors in the circular grotto kind of open. But I can also walk up the path. So I have to choose either one of the doors or to walk up the path. [pause]

So I thank her and walk up the path.

And I walk into the light and now I’m kind of standing in space. And I can see the Universe.

Oh. I see. I think it’s a kind of nexus point between materiality and immateriality. Below me I can see the entire universe and above me I can see all of divinity.

Stay in that point. Till the time is right. [pause]

I ask, “That’s nice but that doesn’t tell me who I am.” They say, “That’s not for now.”

Jack: Yes. I think that’s reasonable. But you need to remember that point of perspective. Be able to return there from time to time. Part of you needs to stay there. The universe in front of you and all of divinity above you. [pause]

Steve: I think it’s time to go back.

Jack: Yes, I think so.

Maybe just as we’re beginning to end I’ll just ask if there’s any last piece of information that needs to come to you. It seems complete but just in case there’s some other statement that can come through that’s going to be helpful in a practical way. [pause]

Steve: Be diligent and vigilant.

[Exit procedure]

06 Sunset sky and dark IMG_8392

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Ruby Eyes

01 sky 1 IMG_8300(Copyright © Jack Cain 2016, text and images)

Alfred: So I’m at my office on the couch.

Jack: It’s interesting how each time it’s necessary to be open without knowing anything about what will take place. I guess it’s a special kind of discipline in a way.

Alfred: It’s almost like having had some noisy visitors and then allowing the silence to take the space.

Jack: Yes.

Alfred: And there’s a certain very distinct relaxation that is beginning in the forehead and the head which is not something that one does. It seems already directed or related to an expansion of the field of vision to the sides… as if the vision begins to be more encompassing.

Jack: It’s interesting your beginning there with the forehead because it doesn’t usually come first so… that’s OK – nothing wrong with that – but as you say there is something here related to vision, related to seeing. [pause]

Alfred: I’m so aware of the full contact my back is making with the couch – from the heels to the top of the head. It feels very even and supporting so that something in the body can let go of holding or driving. Like a non-anxious waiting without waiting –like something needs to concentrate. [pause]

Jack: Yes, there’s something too about allowing the time, the right amount of time – without going too quickly or too slowly. There is a pacing that somehow seems just right.

Alfred: And there is some information about kind of a movement – which I don’t entirely trust yet, as if there’s a visual of flying over a lake district – a lot of smaller bodies of water – quite beautiful – seen from above.

Jack: Yes, it’s curious that there is usually a part of you that is a little unsure at first of what is coming in. And sometimes it isn’t important – you go on to something else. It’s just interesting.

Alfred: No doubt those little stirrings in the body that normally I would attribute to adjustments but from where this is happening now it almost feels like the body is reconfiguring itself to a different form. [pause]

Jack: Does that happen in a particular part of the body?

Alfred: In the back, in the upper back. In the head. I have a very vivid memory of those large craniums – a familiar sensation as if the head and the front of the head is carrying much more weight and volume of a brain. Perhaps the relaxation in the forehead is a relaxation into a larger space, a larger skull. It’s almost logical and by deduction that the back would somehow have to… There would need to be a greater strength in the back for a larger mass of skull or cranium. But that’s a little bit my mind trying to extrapolate.

Jack: But still, in the feelings too I wonder if there’s a kind of welcoming of that expansion in the sense of what it provides in the way of intelligence or understanding or… more capacity… not as limited as in the human form.

Alfred: More possibility. [pause]

There’s a certain joy, you know.

Jack: Ah!

Alfred: A relief that I will not be starting out as a whole new creature in a whole new environment – maybe there’s some thread here…

Jack: Well, there’s definitely been in the past a sense of kinship – a sense of brotherhood and relationship.

Alfred: There was a glimpse of that in that I may be belonging to that group that is not too far away from here.

I find that the conversation I’m having with you keeps me still too attached to the functions. I need to withdraw from that to let something else lead.

Jack: Yes, it’s not either I or you that are leading really. [pause]

Alfred: It’s very interesting that without panic, very calmly the body loses its ordinary boundaries. And yet in that “in-between” – there is no other form.

It is clear that it is breathing. That is more or less the only thread.

02 forms IMG_8224Otherwise the body is quite formless. It doesn’t have an experience of presence to it.

Clearly the breath is related to this process of forming something.

It’s so interesting that sensations coming from the body are there but without having to be reduced to the usual form of the body. [pause]

It felt like a distraction, but it may not be… As if I was watching myself through a screen or a monitor, maybe from a control room, monitoring the progress of this process, whatever it is, that I’m going through. Almost myself in a different position – more as the monitor of this process of transformation. And some awareness that there is a purpose for this… Because I’m having too much of a good time just being curious and it will probably have some purpose that I’m…

Jack: More than curiosity…

Alfred: Yes, it’s not for my own entertainment.

There were some lights flashing the way there would be in an airport or a busy place but they’re on the periphery. [pause]

Jack: It seems like those images, even if they are only fragmentary, are part of what is taking place…

Alfred: Yes, exactly.

And not with great confidence some sense that skin is gradually being provided to define or envelope this being.

Jack: So the form is actually being manifested.

Alfred: Yes, exactly. It’s so interesting that something formless that very much has being and is present is now moving into a form. I was of course tempted to say “blue skin”… It felt like it wasn’t entirely smooth – like it had bumps on it. As if I’m watching the assembly of a body from the inside. The outside. There is no inside and outside to this experience.

Jack: Yes, I think you describe it very well considering that it’s undescribable. [chuckles] It’s hard. We have to find ways to speak about these things.

Alfred: Same kind of sense that in order to perceive it, I need to allow a certain direction that requires very active attention. It can happen without it but if I was to be present to it, it requires something to become much more active than it is right now. Like there’s a finer vibration that is the intelligence that is driving this process. [pause]

The forming of a spine. [pause]

Very much the feeling of an embryo that is unfolding. [pause]

03 embryo IMG_8241It’s like the sensations that are coming from the planetary body here are both kind of ordinary relaxations and contractions but at the same time coming from a very different body that is forming. My mind takes them as originating from the familiar body – but something else is happening as well.

The feet are very alive.

Jack: Yes, I think maybe it’s helpful to think of the consciousness that you’re using to speak with is outside both of those bodies so that’s how it’s possible to receive and speak about both sensations. You’re not completely identified with either but you’re experiencing them.

Alfred: It’s wonderful to take the time with that – not to feel hurried – because then I can have more confidence in my perception.

Some kind of a uniform is now… well, maybe not uniform but definitely very functional kind of boots and fatigues, pants, that seem to be very task-oriented. Very specific to a particular part that I’m to play in that. A suit of sorts – it has pockets and things, a kind of closures. I’m resisting my mind wishing to say “spacesuit” – I’m not at all sure about it – I’d rather not know than make assumptions.

Jack: Well, you’re seeing small details and that’s maybe all that’s needed. Like pockets – textures probably too… [pause]

Alfred: Lots of vehicles, like big trucks or… Strange looking, a lot of traffic, I would say like any army base, something like that.

Jack: Sounds busy.

Alfred: A site where there’s a lot of activity. It seems like an army base but it could be just a launching area or an airport. A lot of technical activity. [long pause]

A jumble of different fragments of… An awareness that I’m on the periphery of a bunch of us together that are… I know that there were two knives that I saw. Somehow… I don’t know if they were weapons or tools – very sharp knives – they looked like chef’s knives… not ordinary material that I’m familiar with. Also as if I was on a vehicle that… something like a shuttle that was to take me and the others from one place to another for some purpose… the way that you would transport someone to man a flight, staff it or something.

I’m getting a bit lost in the details and I think the body can provide some anchor.

Jack: Yes, you need to maintain a balance between the details of what’s happening and the overall picture. The body is helpful for that.

Alfred: Hmm. It looks like I’m entering a briefing room. There is someone who is at some kind of device again… a screen or a dome… It’s more like at a table that we are going to join. Circular. It’s like a briefing room.

Jack: So the table is circular and you’re in a briefing room.

Alfred: There are benches or chairs are in concentric circles around that. The person in the middle, above that, looks like a person of authority who is already in the process of giving out information.

I have this feeling of recognizing my love of flying which I had for many years. I never took up flying. I didn’t qualify for the air force but from very early on I was fascinated by flight. It might be related to this experience of knowing that I might be a pilot or involved in that kind of flying.

Jack: Going on missions.

Alfred: Yes, yes. It keeps coming back with excitement and anticipation of that.

Jack: OK. So the briefing is still going on?

Alfred: Seems to be.

Jack: I don’t want you miss any important instructions.

Alfred: Exactly. It feels like I need to pay close attention and I’m not entirely present to that.

Jack: Sometimes there’s that lapse that you’ve spoken of before.

Alfred: There’s a vagueness in my presence. I’m being pre-occupied. Something needs to let go. [pause]

When I let go of that, I’m in a dark space. Probably in flight already. Pitch dark. It feels like interstellar. There is no light, no stars but it feels like space. [pause]

Kind of letting go of the surface, of the details, and just tuning into this guiding beam or vibration. So it doesn’t matter what orientation my body is in – towards or away or the vehicle – the only thing that matters is the sensitivity to that super vibration. [pause]

It takes over from the fumbling and the guesswork and it’s completely precise.

Traveling across huge vast distances. Like a blur. There are lights along the way. I thought it was becoming lighter but it’s not. Every once in a while there is a kind of light that passes. A sense of homing on a certain beam. My only requirement is not to lose that direction.

Jack: Right. Very important. [pause]

Alfred: I see how memories of previous sessions interfere with the mind comparing and contrasting.

Jack: Yes, you need to let go of that. [pause]

Alfred: I’m looking at my hands. They look different but I still sense them as my hands. They are adult hands. Much larger. [pause]

A kind of an arrival it seems. Incredible sky. Blue with clouds, golden clouds, maybe the sunset. Arriving at the surface of a watery planet. The blue, baby blue, light blue sky. Great love for that planet. The beauty of it and a kind of sense of home.

04 bright sky IMG_8298Jack: And you’re with others?

Alfred: I was exactly curious about that. I’m not aware of that.

Jack: Not just yet maybe.

Alfred: There’s a kind of a structure – a large, white structure. Material that I cannot name. It might be an arrivals hall, or something like that. [pause]

Probably a setting where I would meet family or kinsmen. There’s a feeling of that. [long pause]

Jack: I don’t want to interrupt but what’s happening now?

Alfred: There were little glimpses of joining a gathering. It was not clear if it was more like a family or… There seemed to be a sense that I’ve been expected. [pause]

I’m sitting across from someone of great authority whose form is very startling. I’m not sure what it is. I’m a bit distracted by the form of the face or the being that is not familiar to me. A sense of authority. And a sense of something that needs to be shared.

I have some responsibility there, to bring something that is needed in terms of knowledge or information.

Jack: But the feeling is OK, right? You don’t feel threatened or anything?

Alfred: No, not threatened. Slight fear about the unfamiliarity of this…

Jack: Yes, but that’s just the unfamiliarity

Alfred: Yes, all that. Because my role is clear. The benevolence of that being. It’s not like I’m being threatened.

Jack: Yes, it’s just unusual.

Alfred: It’s that I have some contribution to make here.

Jack: Good. [pause]

Alfred: I see a kind of disintegration of forms and it felt like – it’s not about me but about something I’m reporting to that being. The fear was that I’m losing something, something is disappearing. It’s like I’m reporting directly from experience, from what I see. I need to be focused. I am communicating images. A scene of some type of cataclysm that I’ve witnessed and I’m communicating to that being by his directing tapping into my memory – having him access my memory so he can see it through me, through whatever is stored in my memory.

Jack: So he sees it through you.

Alfred: Exactly. And it’s for me to access that and that’s a difficulty in this case because I think I have a reaction to that. It feels like it was some kind of very troubling event that I’m reporting.

Jack: So you have to be objective…

Alfred: That’s exactly it. The channel has to be clean in order for the images or the experience to travel through.

It’s hard to make out what I’m seeing because there’s a mixture of colors and textures. I don’t want to say a big flood but some kind of a… There’s green and muddy… green water and muddy flows and huge forces that are unleashed. There is no form to it. [pause]

It’s almost like seeing that I have not survived that cataclysm. The reporting is coming from the part that survived it but not in the form that it was in when it was undergoing it. So there’s something about the terror of that situation that is interfering with the communication. The being that was in that calamity did not know that it would be communicated through something that would persist or survive.

There’s a certain kind of beginning gratitude appearing in the midst of what appears to be a technical investigation of some cataclysmic event on the planet. Actually that being I’m reporting to is directing himself or itself to having this soul make a safe passage. This soul that has not been able to… It was like aborted in the transition. So the effort is to communicate with it that it will pass even though it has absolutely no trust in this process and is terrorized. Perhaps it is not alone… maybe other beings were shocked into that state by this calamity. It becomes clear that our responsibility is to those beings that were caught and are stuck in the “in-between.”

Jack: Oh, I see – they’re stuck.

05 night sky IMG_8306Alfred: And in order to help them with the transition I’m with that being and somehow the terror has to pass through me. But he…

Jack: Does he help you do that?

Alfred: Yes, yes. I’m instrumental to that passage. It’s through my communicating something of their state of agony, total shock, that he’s able to provide a certain light, provide a certain solace. [pause]

Jack: Beautiful.

Alfred: My ability to perceive and be present to this state of utter terror fluctuates. But I need to know it with each one of those beings. I don’t see them there is just the sense of an abrupt termination of life which the beings are just discovering as it is taking place. Something is required there… [pause]

Something that is needed in the solar plexus is opening up.

I was facing that as a demand that I had to meet on my own. It’s like I don’t know how to receive the help that he’s offering. We’re in a realm of overwhelming fear. There’s no greater fear than that – fear of an ending. It takes everything to open up to something else. [pause]

It’s like an unlikely source of such teaching because that creature, that being is furry. To my ordinary eye it appears like a human-sized or my-sized rodent. White.

Jack: Yes, but the outer form doesn’t have much to do with what is being transmitted between you.

Alfred: No, but I’m caught in that. It feels like I’m distracted by that. So that the benevolence of that creature is… it comes in in waves so to speak.

Jack: Well, what you’re doing is hard. You need to put your attention where it does the most good… like on the benevolence.

Alfred: The fur seems to soften now and become brighter and whiter. The eyes are very distinct – ruby color almost like diamonds. Or some crystal that’s very intense or it’s like piercing but also very helpful. I think that it penetrates every cell of the body. A certain vibration, a certain knowledge.

Jack: You mean your body?

Alfred: Yes. It’s kind of a very, very practical hands-on understanding of what it means to lighten the suffering of those above me. Something has to pass through me which up to a few seconds ago was unbearable. [pause]

The light is very bright white and it feels naturally like it makes contact with this heavy dense mass of destruction. In a very natural way, it touches it and transforms it. There’s an area of contact that is kind of in between in colors and density. The point of view is not very clear whether it’s within or outside but it doesn’t matter. I’m witnessing that process. That creature’s external appearance has disappeared into just light. Actually it’s not directly related to that being but it’s like he’s an intermediary to a higher source. The source is much higher up.

From here, from this point it doesn’t appear like this agony is at all an agony but more like a lawful collection of material that has to flow back to the source in a way that is quite familiar to us from previous sessions. But carefully. Everything has to be sorted out based on some sort of intrinsic similarity.

Jack: It’s similar to previous sessions but it gives more precision about how that process takes place.

Alfred: That’s right. About the very specific way in which something has to become free to allow this to take place. A certain identification with the agony.

The forehead opens in a way that allows complete, unresisted communication through being a channel. Experiencing through the body that rapid movement of energy from the feet, from the bottom, through the body all the way to the top of the head. My only part is to allow this to go on as frictionlessly as possible. Without being curious about what passes through, just providing a channel.

There’s a certain sense of infinity when I look down. I don’t know if I see my feet just floating in space but there’s a kind of an infinity feel to what is revealed by just looking.

Something of this process seems to gradually draw to a close.

Jack: Yes.

Alfred: I noticed that from a pang of hunger that the body is making itself know in that way. There’s still the experience of this overwhelming white light at the top of the head where all of this is flowing.

(Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What Is Breathing, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes)

06 lilies and rain IMG_8285

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The Ball of Light

01 Hollyhock IMG_8214(La version originale en français se trouve dans l’article précédent.)

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2016, text and images)

 Jack: So, I wonder if you have been able to find some place – maybe you could speak to me about it a little…

Guillaume: I’m near a lake. In fact, it is surrounded by mountains. The lake is calm. You can see the sun setting on the other side of the mountain. I feel a little breeze. There is a scent of the natural world.

Jack: Any sounds?

Guillaume: You can hear the waves striking the beach.

[Reinforcement of the beneficent impressions of being there.]

[Traveling on a cloud in order to move back in time and space.]

Jack: Perhaps you can tell me what is there. What are you wearing on your feet? Tell me something about what is there…

Guillaume: I have arrived in a birch tree forest. I am surrounded by birch trees. It seems to be autumn – there are leaves everywhere. It’s not cold yet. It’s sunny.

Jack: How are you dressed?

Guillaume: I’m wearing a blue toga with leather sandals. They are laced part way up the leg. [A bit of surprise in his intonation] I have a beard too.

Jack: Are you seated or walking? What’s happening?

Guillaume: I’m standing.

There is a herd of animals nearby. I can’t seem to tell what they are.

They look like sheep. Actually, the sheep are following me. I have to lead them to a field where they can graze.

I’m walking around. It is calm. We come to a clearing. The sheep have disappeared. There is a temple. A temple made of stone in something like a Greek construction.

There are other people in togas waiting for me at the top of the steps. However, those people have red togas. They invite me to enter. In fact, they were waiting for me in order to begin. I see an altar inside. It seems set up for a ritual. They ask me to approach the altar. They are all lined up. All these men have beards. I am the only one in a blue toga; everyone else is in red. [pause]

I approach the altar by walking up steps. Then, as I am walking up, I notice a man who has a dagger in his belt. I notice that but I don’t pay too much attention to it.

As I walk up the steps I am thinking about what I’m going to say; I am concentrating. I am behind the altar. I pick up a cup. I begin the ceremony. Everyone kneels when I speak. [Loud noise of a machine from the street; Guillaume waits until it stops.]

We begin prayers. I feel that there are people who are hostile. In fact, there are people who don’t like my way of directing. I knew that but I did not take it into account.

In fact, they intend to stab me during the ceremony. I am beginning to understand what is happening. I know I am going to die.

02 Voie IMG_8180Jack: [Jack doesn’t understand exactly what is happening.] Can you feel it? Is there a lot of pain?

Guillaume: In fact, I have not yet been stabbed. I know that it is going to happen. I could save myself. But I have to die so that things change.

Jack: So if you die that will help things change, is that it?

Guillaume: Yes.

Jack: And you know that?

Guillaume: Yes. I’m aware of it. I have to die so that those who were in the wings and those who didn’t want to assume a position actually take a position.

I am raising the cup in the ceremony. The man with the dagger walks up the steps. He approaches me. I see him. He moves his hand to his waist. He buries the dagger in my right side. I fall on my knees. My hands are full of blood. I am crying. I am having trouble breathing. My vision clouds over. A stir begins to move through the temple. I hear people shouting. Some people are still trying to understand what happened. I feel myself calmly dying, but I am not afraid. I am serene with what is happening. I understand why I had to die.

The temple is beginning to empty out. People are running. They are fleeing.

There is a woman who braves this world of men. She enters the temple screaming. She is shouting. She knees on my corpse. She keeps repeating that I should not have gone to the temple. She had told me that. It seems she is my wife. All I am feeling now is my love for her. I feel that her love is sincere. She is wearing silk clothing, her dress is silk, with a scarf on her head, all in pink. She is kneeling in my blood. She is covered in blood. My blood is running down the steps of the temple. My wife is weeping over my death.

The news has spread into the town.

Those leaving the temple spread the news that the king is dead.

Armies are beginning to form. There are people beginning to mobilize who were not in agreement with my death.

Jack: You are able to look at all that from a position a little above, right?

Guillaume: Yes, that’s right. It’s as if my body is a little transparent and is floating in the air. My head is luminous. I feel light.

I see a man who looks like me. He is less than 20. It’s my son. He is in the process of mobilizing men to go to war. [Breathing broken up from emotion throughout this part of the session.]

I am trying to communicate with him in his dreams to tell him that if he goes to war he also will die.

Jack: Does he hear you?

Guillaume: We’re in his dream. And we’re conversing, the two of us.

He is refusing to listen to me. In fact, he acts on impulse. He is very impulsive and easy to anger. He does not accept the fact that I am dead. He wants to use that motive to take vengeance and start a war. I knew there was going to be war. But I didn’t think he would be the one leading it. He’s going to war but not for good reasons. [pause]

He wakes up from his dream. He’s having trouble understanding what happened. He remembers having spoken to me. He knows that I am there beside him.

He decides not to go to war.

Jack: It is marvelous that you managed to communicate all that. It’s not easy.

Guillaume: I see my son setting out. He is not putting on his armor. But he is taking a legion of men with him. He is going to speak to the man who assassinated me. [breathing continues to be difficult; there is so much emotion]My son has brought men with him. They are outnumber the rival clan. He proposes a truce. He proposes to that man that he and his men be exiled. If that is accepted, he will not pursue them. The men accept.

They have accepted the truce but it is a trap. In fact, they want to take advantage of the truce to try to assassinate my son.

I succeeded in intervening in an energetic form. The dagger got moved aside a little. It just grazed my son and that gave him time to turn around. It gave him the time to order his men to attack. Much blood is being shed. Men are crying out. They are afraid. [Guillaume is crying.] Some of them don’t understand what they’re doing there. They were all volunteers. I realized all that. I see all those men who are dying because of my death. [voice breaking up] I feel so powerless. It pains me. I know that it had to happen. I was told it would happen.

Jack: Yes, it is very difficult to withstand all that.

03 Pattern difficile IMG_8152Guillaume: [gasping] I had to die free up all the tensions that had accumulated in the course of centuries. I am happy that it took place but it is so painful.

Jack: There needs to be a letting go of the pain. It is not your fault that all that happened. Of course you are involved but… men are men.

Guillaume: I see a man of light.

Jack: Yes.

Guillaume: He is all in white. He tells me that’s enough. That it is time for me to come back. My death had the effect that it had to have. I remained on earth so I could intervene with my son. And now all that no longer belongs to me.

Jack: Yes.

Guillaume: I have to come back.

Jack: Yes, you need to accept that.

Guillaume: Everything followed its plan. And I was part of a plan and I played my role. But it hurts so much when I turn back and look at the ground.

The man takes me by the hand. And he leads me away with him. I feel all the sadness that I had is draining away calmly. All the darkness I had stuck to me is being replaced by light. I feel all the tensions being freed up. [three big breaths out]

I am beginning to feel light, not so heavy. I feel good. There are many men of light welcoming me.

Jack: They are there to welcome you.

Guillaume: I feel myself becoming hot all over. I am full of light. I feel the energy circulating in me. My hands are boiling. They are full of energy. It is moving around.

Jack: It is like being cleansed.

Guillaume: It is boiling in my chest. I feel the energy circulating in my legs. [Big breaths; body moving around.]

Jack: It’s like an irrigation of light.

Guillaume: Yes, that is what’s happening.

Jack: So that all that pain can leave. A letting go of all that.

Guillaume: Generally, I always have pain in the back. I don’t feel it any more. It is gone.

Jack: Because the cause has disappeared.

Guillaume: My fingers are burning. It’s the energy circulating. [all during this time Guillaume is moving his hands above his body]

Jack: Yes.

Guillaume: It’s vibrating so strongly. It’s like a whole lot of vibrations at the same time.

And there is heat at the same time. Then I direct it toward my chest and I feel it expand.

Depending where I go in my body, the vibrations are different. They don’t have the same rhythm, not the same undulation.

I don’t know exactly where I am on my body but it is much longer in vibration. The waves are much longer – much longer than a moment ago. The energy is calmer. In fact I have the impression that it is in harmony.

I feel practically nothing of the pain in the middle of my back.

Jack: You can see that you are using your hands to direct the energy. That is something to remember – that you have that possibility.

04 lilas IMG_8089Guillaume: I look at my hands. They are luminous.

Jack: Yes, that’s right.

We have hands for directing energy but we don’t know that.

Guillaume: The energy is different here. [his hands are above a different part of the body] I manage to modulate it. I manage to move the energy around.

Jack: All of that is in the form of a teaching.

Guillaume: There is a very intense luminous presence near me. I cannot quite tell if it is a sage. It’s just a big ball of light.

Jack: What is happening in your head?

Guillaume: I see nothing but light. I have the impression that I am seeing an eye. Just an eye in a triangle. I am beginning to see more clearly. In fact, I have my eyes closed and I manage to see my hands. I see the energy coming off them. I don’t need to open my eyes.

Jack: No you don’t need to open them because it is the eyes of the astral body that are looking. You don’t need to open your physical eyes. You are able to see the energy, the light which is circulating, moving.

Guillaume: I know that it is very luminous here in your place. I see you vaguely. I see an outline. Very, very luminous. [pause]

The gift I was given when we walked together the last time. I am being told that now is the time. Now it is completely possible for me to use it.

[A guided visualization took place on April 14, 2016 in which Guillaume received the gift of a ball of light and the being of light who gave it to him told him that one day he would know how to use it.]

Jack: Yes. Because there needed to be a letting go of all those difficulties first so that it could appear, be installed.

Guillaume: There is a lot of energy circulating in your place.

Jack: Yes.

Guillaume: Everything is very luminous. I have the impression that I am discovering another world. There is no pain. There is no sadness. I feel good but it’s kind of neutral.

Jack: Is the being of light still there? The one who helped you at the beginning.

Guillaume: I can feel his presence but he is gradually moving away.

Jack: Before he leaves completely, I would like to ask him if he has any advice to give you about your present life… a few words to help you now in your life… or not. I don’t know if he wants to do that. [pause]

Guillaume: In fact, he is looking at me. He’s not saying a word because we don’t need to talk.

Jack: Yes.

Guillaume: I understand that he is smiling at me.

Jack: Yes. Perhaps that’s all that is needed. A smile, a look.

Guillaume: In fact, according to what I understand through thought, it’s that he could tell me, but that would be too easy. I already have the reply in me.

Jack: Yes.

Guillaume: It’s just that I need to learn to accept it. If I make the effort I will know. It’s all a matter of will. What I have begun is the road I need to take. And I have to keep going like that. I should progress rapidly. I should progress rapidly and I am going to understand everything that is happening… Rapidly it will continue – in the course the coming days, in the course of the coming months. It’s going to speed up. There are things to be done with the energy.

Jack: Yes, that’s right. It’s clear.

Guillaume: Meeting you was not by chance.

Jack: No, not at all.

Guillaume: He tells me I need to rest.

Jack: Yes.

Guillaume: That I’ve had enough.

Jack: Yes. Absolutely. Maybe even a bit too much.

Guillaume: For this evening.

Jack: Yes. For this evening.

05 Ciel detail IMG_8198

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La boule de lumière

01 Hollyhock IMG_8214(In the next post you will find an English translation of this session.)

(Copyright © Jack Cain 2016, text and images)

Jack: Alors, je me demande si tu as pu trouver quelque part, peut-être que tu peux m’en parler un peu…

Guillaume: Je suis près d’un lac. En fait, il est entouré de montagnes. Le lac, il est calme. On voit le soleil se coucher de l’autre côté de la montagne. Je sens une petite brise. Ça sent la nature.

Jack: Des sons?

Guillaume: On entend juste les vagues frapper sur la plage.

[Renforcement de l’impression bénéfique d’être là.]

[Voyage sur un nuage pour reculer dans le temps et l’espace.]

Jack: Peut-être peux-tu me dire qu’est-ce qui est là. Qu’est-ce que tu portes sur tes pieds? Dis-moi quelque chose de ce qui est là.

Guillaume: Je suis arrivé dans une forêt de bouleaux. Je suis entouré de bouleaux. Ça semble être l’automne – des feuilles partout. Il ne fait pas encore froid. C’est ensoleillé.

Jack: Et tu es habillé comment?

Guillaume: Je porte une toge bleue avec des sandales en cuir – elles sont enlacées jusqu’au tibia. [intonation un peu surprise] Je porte la barbe aussi.

Jack: Est-ce que tu es assis ou en train de marcher? Qu’est-ce qui arrive?

Guillaume: Je suis debout.

Il y a un troupeau d’animaux à proximité. Je n’arrive pas à les identifier.

Ça ressemble à des chèvres. En fait, les chèvres me suivent. Je dois les amener dans un champ et les nourrir.

Je me promène. C’est calme. On est revenu à une clairière. Les chèvres ont disparu. Il y a un temple. Un temple fait en pierre semblable aux constructions grecques.

Il y a d’autres gens avec des toges qui m’attendent en haut des marches. Par contre, eux, ils ont des toges rouges. Ils m’invitent à rentrer. En fait, ils attendaient ma présence pour débuter. Je vois un autel à l’intérieur. Ça semble être pour un rituel. Ils me demandent de m’approcher de l’autel. Ils sont tous en rang. Ce sont tous des hommes qui portent la barbe. Il y a juste moi qui porte une toge bleue; tout le monde est en rouge. [pause]

Je m’approche de l’autel en montant les marches. Puis, à ma droite en montant j’aperçois un homme qui a un poignard à sa ceinture. Je le remarque mais je n’y porte pas trop attention.

Je monte les marches en réfléchissant à ce que je vais dire, je suis concentré. Je suis derrière l’autel. Je prends une coupe. Je débute une cérémonie. Tout le monde se met à genoux quand je parle. [grand bruit d’une machine qui passent dans la rue; Guillaume attend que ça arrête. ]

On débute des prières. Je sens qu’il y a des gens qui sont hostiles. En fait, il y a des gens qui sont mécontents de ma façon de diriger. Je le savais mais je n’en avais pas tenu compte.

En fait, ils ont l’intention de me poignarder pendant la cérémonie. Je commence à comprendre ce qui se passe. Je sais que je vais mourir.

02 Voie IMG_8180Jack: [Jack ne comprend pas exactement ce qui se passe.] Tu peux le sentir? Est-ce qu’il y a beaucoup de douleur?

Guillaume: En fait je ne me suis pas encore fait poignardé. Je sais que ça s’en vient. Je pourrais me sauver. Mais il faut que je meurs pour que les choses changent.

Jack: Alors si tu meures ça va aider à changer les choses, c’est ça?

Guillaume: Oui.

Jack: Et tu sais cela?

Guillaume: Oui. J’en suis conscient. Il faut que je meure pour que ceux qui étaient dans l’ombre sortent et ceux qui ne voulaient pas prendre position, prennent position.

Je suis en train de soulever la coupe dans la cérémonie. Celui avec le poignard monte les marches, il s’approche de moi. Je le vois. Il met sa main à sa taille. Il m’enfonce le poignard dans le flanc droit. Je tombe à genoux. J’ai les mains pleines de sang. Je pleure. J’ai de la difficulté à respirer. Ma vision devient trouble. Ça commence à chaluter dans le temple. J’entends des gens crier. Il y a des gens qui sont encore en train d’essayer de comprendre ce qui s’est passé. Je me sens tranquillement mourir, mais je n’ai pas peur. Je suis serein avec ce qui se passe. Je comprends pourquoi je devais mourir.

Le temple est en train de se vider. Les gens courent. Ils s’enfuient.

Il y a une femme qui brave les hommes, qui rentre dans le temple en hurlant. Elle crie. Elle est agenouillée sur ma dépouille. Elle n’arrête pas de répéter que je n’aurais pas dû aller au temple. Elle me l’avait dit. Ça semble être ma femme. Tout ce que je ressens c’est de l’amour pour elle. Son amour je sens qu’il est sincère. Elle porte des vêtements en soie, une robe en soie, avec un foulard sur sa tête, tout en rose. Elle est agenouillée dans mon sang. Elle est couverte de sang. Mon sang coule sur les marches de l’autel. Ma femme pleure ma mort.

La nouvelle s’est répandue dans la ville.

Ceux qui quittent le temple répandent que le roi est mort.

Il y a des armées qui commencent à se monter. Il y a des gens qui commencent à se mobiliser qui n’étaient pas en accord avec ma mort.

Jack: Et tu peux regarder tout cela d’une position un peu en haut n’est-ce pas?

Guillaume: C’est ça. C’est comme si mon corps est un peu plus transparent et qu’il flottait dans les airs. Ma tête est lumineuse. Je me sens léger.

Je vois un homme qui me ressemble avec vingt ans de moins. C’est mon garçon. Il est en train de mobiliser des hommes pour partir à la guerre. [Respiration saccadée par l’émotion dans toute cette partie de la session.]

J’essaie de communiquer avec lui dans ses rêves pour lui dire que s’il part à la guerre, il va mourir à son tour.

Jack: Est-ce qu’il t’entend?

Guillaume: On est dans son rêve. Puis on dialogue les deux.

Il refuse de m’écouter. En fait, il fait à sa tête. Il est très impulsif et colérique. Il n’accepte pas le fait que je sois mort. Il veut se servir de ce motif-là pour se venger et déclencher une guerre. Je savais qu’il allait y avoir une guerre. Mais je ne pensais pas que ce serait lui qui prendrait la tête. Il va aller à la guerre, mais pas pour les bonnes raisons. [pause]

Il s’est réveillé de son rêve. Il ne comprend pas trop ce qui se passe. Il se souvient de m’avoir parlé. Il sait que je suis présent à ses côtés.

Il décide de ne pas faire la guerre.

Jack: C’est merveilleux que tu as réussi à communiquer tout ça. Ce n’est pas facile.

Guillaume: Je vois mon garçon qui se déplace. Il ne met pas son armure. Mais il amène une légion d’hommes avec lui. Il va aller parler à l’homme qui m’a assassiné. [respiration continue à être difficile avec tant d’émotion] Mon garçon a amené des hommes. Ils sont beaucoup plus nombreux que le clan rival. Il propose une trêve. Il propose à cet homme que lui et ses hommes soient exilés. S’il accepte, il ne les pourchasserait pas. Les hommes acceptent. [pause]

Ils ont accepté la trêve, mais c’est juste un leurre. En fait, ils en profitent pour essayer d’assassiner mon garçon.

J’ai réussi à intervenir sous forme d’énergie. Le poignard a dévié. Il a frôlé mon garçon, ça lui a permis de se retourner. Ça lui a donné le temps de donner l’ordre à ces hommes d’attaquer. Il y a beaucoup de sang qui coule. Il y a des hommes qui crient, qui ont peur. [Guillaume pleure.] Il y en a qui ne comprennent pas ce qu’il font là. Ils ont tous été volontaires. Je réalisais tout ça. Je vois tous ces hommes-là qui meurent à cause de ma mort. [voix saccadée] Je me sens tellement impuissant. Ça me fait de la peine. Je sais qu’il fallait que ça se produise. On me l’avait dit.

Jack: Oui, c’est très difficile à supporter.

03 Pattern difficile IMG_8152Guillaume: [haletant] Il fallait que je meure pour libérer toutes les tensions qui s’étaient accumulées au cours des siècles. Je suis content que ça se soit fait mais c’est tellement douloureux.

Jack: Mais il faut un lâcher-prise de cette douleur. Ce n’est pas ta faute que tout cela est arrivé. C’est bien sûr que tu es impliqué mais… les hommes sont les hommes.

Guillaume: Je vois un homme de lumière.

Jack: Oui.

Guillaume: Tout en blanc. Qui me dit que ça suffit. Que c’est le temps que je revienne. Ma mort a eu l’effet qu’elle devait avoir. Que si je suis resté sur terre c’était pour intervenir auprès de mon garçon. Puis maintenant ça ne m’appartenait plus.

Jack: Oui.

Guillaume: Que je devais revenir.

Jack: Oui, il faut accepter ça.

Guillaume: Tout suivait son plan. Puis que je faisais partie d’un plan, que j’avais joué mon rôle. Mais j’ai tellement de peine quand je me retourne et regarde au sol.

L’homme me prend par la main. Puis il m’amène avec lui. Je sens toute la tristesse que j’avais se dissiper tranquillement. Elle pousse toute la noirceur que j’avais de collée sur moi et c’est remplacé par de la lumière. Je sens toutes les tensions se libérer. [trois grandes expirations]

Je commence à devenir léger. Je me sens bien. Il y a pleine d’autres hommes de lumière qui m’accueillent.

Jack: Ils sont là pour t’accueillir.

Guillaume: Je me sens devenir tout chaud. Je suis rempli de lumière. Je sens l’énergie circuler en moi. Mes mains bouillent. Elles sont remplies d’énergie. Ça circule.

Jack: C’est comme être nettoyé.

Guillaume: Ça bouillonne dans ma poitrine. Je sens l’énergie circuler dans mes jambes. [Grandes respirations; mouvements du corps]

Jack: C’est comme une irrigation de lumière.

Guillaume: Oui. C’est ça qui se passe.

Jack: De sorte que toutes ces douleurs vont passer. Un lâcher-prise de tout cela.

Guillaume: En général, j’ai toujours une douleur physique au dos. Je ne la sens plus. Elle est disparue.

Jack: Parce que la cause est disparue.

Guillaume: Mes doigts brûlent. C’est l’énergie qui circule.

[pendant tout ce temps, Guillaume passe ses mains au-dessus de son corps]

Jack: Oui.

Guillaume: Ça vibre tellement fort. C’est comme plein de vibrations à la fois.

Il y a de la chaleur en même temps. Puis je la dirige dans ma poitrine et je sens ça grossir.

Dépendamment d’où je vais dans mon corps les vibrations sont différentes. Elles n’ont pas le même rythme, pas la même ondulation.

Je ne sais pas exactement où je suis sur mon corps mais c’est beaucoup plus long comme vibration. Les ondes sont beaucoup plus longues – moins rapides que tantôt. L’énergie est plus calme. En fait j’ai l’impression qu’elle est en harmonie.

Je ne sens pratiquement plus ma douleur dans le milieu du dos.

Jack: Tu peux voir que tu te sers de tes mains pour diriger l’énergie. Ça c’est quelque chose à se rappeler – que tu as cette possibilité-là

04 lilas IMG_8089Guillaume: Je regarde me mains. Elles sont lumineuses.

Jack: Oui, c’est ça.

Nous avons les mains pour diriger l’énergie mais nous ne le savons pas.

Guillaume: L’énergie est différente ici. [ses mains sont au-dessus d’une partie différente du corps] J’arrive à la moduler. J’arrive à déplacer l’énergie.

Jack: Tout cela c’est une forme d’enseignement.

Guillaume: Il y a une présence lumineuse très intense auprès de moi. Je n’arrive pas à voir si c’est un sage. C’est juste une grosse boule de lumière.

Jack: Qu’est-ce qui arrive dans ta tête?

Guillaume: Tout ce que je vois c’est la lumière. J’ai l’impression que je vois un œil. Juste un œil dans un triangle. Je commence à voir plus clair. En fait, j’ai les yeux fermés et j’arrive à voir mes mains. Je vois l’énergie qui s’en dégage. Je n’ai pas besoin d’ouvrir mes yeux.

Jack: Non, tu n’as pas besoin de les ouvrir parce que c’est les yeux du corps astral qui regardent. Ce n’est pas nécessaire d’ouvrir les yeux physiques. Tu as la capacité de voir l’énergie, la lumière qui circule, qui bouge.

Guillaume: Je sais que c’est très lumineux chez toi. Je te vois vaguement. Je vois un contour. Très, très lumineux. [pause]

Le cadeau qu’on m’a donné quand on a fait la promenade avec toi la dernière fois. On me dit que c’est le temps. Maintenant j’ai toute la potentiel pour l’utiliser.

[Une visualisation guidée qui a eu lieu le 14 avril 2016, où Guillaume a reçu le cadeau d’une boule de lumière et l’être de lumière qui la lui a donnée lui a dit qu’il saura un jour comment l’utiliser.]

Jack: Oui. Parce qu’il fallait un lâcher-prise de toutes ces difficultés avant pour que ça puisse paraître, s’installer.

Guillaume: Il y a beaucoup d’énergie qui circule chez toi.

Jack: Oui.

Guillaume: Tout est très lumineux. J’ai l’impression de découvrir un autre monde. Il n’y a pas de douleur; il n’y a pas de tristesse. Je me sens bien, mais c’est assez neutre.

Jack: Est-ce que l’être de lumière est toujours là? Celui qui t’a aidé au commencement.

Guillaume: Je peux sentir sa présence, mais il s’éloignait progressivement.

Jack: Mais avant qu’il parte complètement, j’aimerais lui demander s’il a un conseil à te donner pour ta vie actuelle… quelques mots pour t’aider maintenant dans ta vie… ou pas – je ne sais pas s’il veut faire ça. [pause]

Guillaume: En fait, il me regarde. Il ne dit pas un mot parce qu’on n’a pas besoin de parler.

Jack: Oui.

Guillaume: Je comprends qu’il me fait un sourire.

Jack: Oui. Peut-être c’est tout ce qu’il faut. Un sourire, un regard.

Guillaume: En fait, d’après ce que je comprends par la pensée c’est qu’il pourrait me le dire, mais ce serait trop facile. J’ai déjà la réponse en moi.

Jack: Oui.

Guillaume: C’est juste qu’il faut que j’apprenne à l’accepter. Si je fais l’effort je vais savoir. Tout est question de volonté. Mais ce que j’ai commencé c’était la voie à prendre. Et puis il faut que je continue comme ça. Que je devais progresser rapidement. Puis que je devrais progresser rapidement puis que je vais comprendre tout ce qui se passe… Rapidement ça va aller – au cours des prochains jours, au cours des prochains mois. Ça va s’accélérer. Mais qu’il y a de quoi faire avec de l’énergie.

Jack: Oui, c’est ça. C’est évident.

Guillaume: Si je t’ai rencontré ce n’est pas un hasard.

Jack: Non, pas du tout.

Guillaume: Il me dit que je devrais me reposer.

Jack: Oui.

Guillaume: Que j’en ai eu assez.

Jack: Oui. Absolument. C’est même un peu trop.

Guillaume: Pour ce soir.

Jack : Oui. Pour ce soir.

05 Ciel detail IMG_8198

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The Thread

01 NY sky IMG_8121(Copyright © Jack Cain 2016, text and images)

 Jack: It’s as if we’re always starting with a question mark as we approach the unknown. I don’t want to say too much because the silence is important. But I have a sense this morning that there’s a specific movement that needs to take place inside which I would like to understand better. A movement of… I was going to say “opening” but we use that word too much… But a movement that brings me into a relationship with forces, presences, which are already part of this session.

There seems to be a very specific area of my being that has to be in a specific relationship to allow something to take place. Not much needs to be said about that but I do need to be in relationship. It can be sensed in the body. For me, at the moment, it’s a barely perceptible movement in the chest… And a similar movement in the forehead.

Alfred: The body prepares itself for this process by relaxing. There’s a certain way in which it allows for a much larger presence than the physical dimensions. As if it takes its proper place in relation to a much larger experience. For that, it begins to relax further. In the chest, in the forehead. [pause]

Something has to get close to that state of somnolence without sleeping. It’s just one of those gaps. It seems like something blinked into sleep but awareness is starting…

Jack: Yes, I think this is something we’re both learning about – the approach to the subconscious part requires us to be close to sleep but we need to not fall asleep. It requires a vigilance that is not connected to the mind, the ordinary thinking. Or maybe just a caring, a kind of care. [pause]

Is there an engagement with the back, Alfred? Or what parts of the body are involved.

Alfred: Passing kind of images. Very fast. Can’t report them.

Jack: That’s often what happens at the beginning and indicates a certain level or state that’s present. We just need to be patient.

Alfred: It’s good you brought my attention to the body. I was drifting. [pause]

There’s a finer vibration around the back – actually enveloping the whole body.

There’s still a restlessness in the mind as it tries to describe, tries to orient itself. I see that it is a very different quality than the overall presence. It needs to just be allowed to subside by itself. I cannot wish it away.

Jack: No, it not good to try to banish it. It needs to just chug away in the background. It doesn’t necessarily have to lead to anything spoken.

Alfred: Something wants to draw on past experience and I need to come back to this present moment.

Jack: Fortunately, we have the body to help us.

Alfred: It feels like the body is very supportive now – fully. The sensation of full contact with the couch is allowing the body to receive something that is much finer.

It’s like the top of the body is becoming less dense and allows some radiation or some forces that are above to penetrate, or come closer. A greater sensitivity along the top layer of the body. With a sense of the support of the back. A bit like floating.

Something is becoming attached to the hara – literally – a certain kind of connection is being made. I need to stay with the whole thing. [pause]

I need to stay active. It’s not a matter of passively receiving something. [pause]

There is a sense that something is concentrating and that the perception of space – interstellar space – is beginning to appear.

Jack: Good.

02 dots IMG_8132Alfred: It feels like I’m receiving some type of transfusion of a finer substance through the hara. It requires its own pace – a pace in which it can be received in my body. It cannot be accelerated. If I’m not patient with it, I begin to make things up.

It seems like the restriction is less in the mind and more in the heart – something is having difficulty in letting go. Finding that and allowing that substance to permeate. Just aware of that. A tightness. There’s something like fear or… You can’t rush love.

An image of the ocean, of the sunset on Saturday comes just with a sense of the aliveness of the water and the light. It brings up feelings.

Jack: So it sounds like it’s related to what is needed in the area of the heart.

Alfred: Exactly. The warmth of the sun.

It’s very clear that it’s light that is reflected from the sun to the mind to the heart. It’s the mind and the heart that need to open to each other.

It’s such a familiar obstacle: the letting go and the wish to let go. Both are seen clearly. A longing to be touched by the light and yet still something that’s afraid to let go.

The breath is very helpful.

The body almost entirely transparent. Something can see the earth underneath it.

It’s as if I am given this continuing difficulty of transition as a teaching in what needs to take place.

Jack: Yes, and the time that’s required.

Alfred: Exactly.

The ripples of thought seem to be much more on the surface while the center seems to be much calmer.

Jack: Would you say that there’s a kind of depth there now that wasn’t there before?

Alfred: Yes. And the perspective is different. It’s from above and views a body that is transparent. It’s experienced as a body lying here and at the same time whatever is underneath it – which seems to be grass or ground – is visible to that look.

Jack: Good.

Alfred: It’s not entirely so… There is some constriction around the chest and perhaps around the head. A different relationship with the physical body is possible.

Jack: There is something that is required of you. Certainly your attention. Perhaps something else too.

03 Sun sculpture IMG_8137Alfred: And a kind of inkling of feelings as in: “I’ve been awaited. I’ve been expected.” That particular feeling. It begins to open up at the edges. As if other beings have been expecting me. I’m not yet aware of the specifics but there is an arrival at a place where I’ve been expected. [pause]

It’s hard to describe this blue structure. Like a space that is deeply blue, round. It’s hard to judge the size of it but I think I’m part of it. I’m in it.

A particular kind of device. [pause]

A huge bowl that is made out of some substance that is blue. I’m not sure if I’m the only one there. Probably not. It’s too big for one person. It could fit hundreds of people.

The center is kind of all concentrating to a center point where there’s something that is organic to the structure. I can see the opening of it. It feels like a living structure. It’s not made of stone or anything… There is something through which energy is flowing into the body of that bowl. I said it’s blue. It seems like the inside is kind of light blue but the dominant color is a kind of bluish blue, an indigo.

It seems like that’s where I’m appearing – in that transition. I’m lying on… It’s visible to me but it’s not clear to me what my body is doing. It’s more like a witnessing of this. [pause]

It reminds me a little of the structure of a flower – like a tulip or something which has at its center whatever the correct botanical name is for that stem that holds the pollen. But it’s hollow – it’s like a pipe. It might be even vibrating. It’s where there might be something traveling through it.

It’s like a heartbeat. The whole thing vibrates in a certain way – like a contraction. [pause]

There’s a part of me that wishes to say that I could be witnessing the conception and birthing of a blue being. I am being one. [pause]

The awareness of the gradual formation of a blue body. The mind is so impatient and wishes to complete the story. I have to watch out for that.

Jack: Yes. I think it’s very good to be entirely focused on what is taking place visually and in your body.

Alfred: Sensorially.

Jack: Yes, sensorially.

Alfred: There’s a kind of rhythm like a heartbeat or a contraction.

Some sense of fingers that are blue passing in front of my face. They may be my own or not. What my mind would call an embryonic experience.

What feels lacking is the sense of belonging. The feeling. The feeling could be a help – that “being expected” feeling.

Jack: Is that feeling not there any more?

Alfred: No, it seems to have subsided. I’m more preoccupied or aware of the physical developments, the sensation.

But there’s a kind of flickering awareness of a light towards which all this development, all this process is oriented. The way you would see light from under water. Not clearly defined but… approaching. [pause]

Further relaxation.

It’s a matter of allowing myself to know what I know directly and not through the mind – a kind of emergence into loving blue arms. Not entirely confident in that…

Jack: The feeling… You can concentrate on the feeling, right?

04 Flower IMG_7981Alfred: I’m being lovingly held. [pause]

It seems as though I was expected by more than just the one person who is holding me. Because the room is full of… It’s a much larger room with many blue beings. [pause]

It’s as if I’m being shown. I’m sitting on another being. It feels like a person of great authority. With my back supported, facing the crowd. As if I’m being shown to the gathering.

Jack: By this being of great authority?

Alfred: Yes, it feels like I am straddled on the right thigh or lap – held by this person who is wearing some particular insignia. I’m very small compared to the size of the person holding me. [pause]

It’s not clear… So much is happening.

A flashback to what appears to be a mishap undergone by a predecessor, some kind of accident. It feels like some kind of machinery that crushed or greatly damaged that predecessor because my appearance seems to be of great solemnity and a great relief to the gathering.

Perhaps I was rescued, perhaps I’m back to the being who was traumatized. Rescued or revived or…

There’s like a kind of gold insignia that I’m wearing around the neck. And on the head.

You know, the back of that being who is holding me gradually diminishes into being the back of some kind of throne or chair that is at an elevation. As if I’ve grown into a full being without knowing it from the inside… in a way just from that sensation.

Before that, there was a kind of specific image that intruded – the image of a catastrophe. I am not clear whether it was a spacecraft crashing or some machinery that malfunctioned but it led to a need to search for an heir or recreate something. It was at great cost to this community. I seem to be the result of that.

Now I’m kind of at the helm on some kind of a throne, slightly elevated, not very high above the gathering.

What’s so distinct is the awareness of the front of the head. It is enlarged – twice the size it would be in humans – or more. All in blue. That’s common to everybody. A kind of protrusion of the frontal lobes.

Jack: Much bigger forehead then?

Alfred: Yes. I’m sensing it from the inside. Very different anatomy. The eyes are embedded underneath. You can see how you’d be restricted in the upward gaze because you have that protrusion of the forehead.

It seems like feelings are needed to bring the pieces together.

Jack: Yes. [pause]

Alfred: Just as I was looking at my brethren there, I see that they look desperate or bereft. And I’m kind of searching, because I need to help this community.

There’s a certain light that begins to be accessible above from which some guidance will be needed. A kind of connection is being formed from the people, passing through me and on to that light, and it has to do with the forehead. I’m being a channel for that. [pause]

I see the lapses in giving myself completely to this.

The last thing I remember before this lapse was awareness that something has to be radically changed in the way this community has… I have an awareness that they will not appreciate what I’m about to share with them… whatever it is that needs to be given up. Important to lead by example.

05 white light IMG_7215I have to give up the form of this body. There’s an awareness that I just now received this form and already I have to surrender it. The light is somehow getting stronger with that approaching acceptance. It’s like there is no other way around it. The resistance is not coming from the center but from the periphery… which helps. [pause]

As long as I stay with the light which is white and is right above my head, there is no fear. Something has to stay very active in making that choice to remain with the light.

I cannot be concerned with the others, with thoughts or fears.

It feels like there’s a kind of shell-like quality to the physical body.

Every second there’s a risk of attaching to what is gradually fading in the physical body – which is blue. Like the hands – like little attachments to different parts of the body that have particular value. Memory of how those parts have been used, or have been serving me or giving me pleasure. The face. The place where I was recognized. A certain sadness.

It’s clear that those identifications are weakening the concentration on the light. I have to come back to that. It’s not even coming to that – it’s allowing that attraction to continue to have its affect. Letting it just work on me. [pause]

I have a fear of looking at the others. I know it will be a huge distraction to see the grief or the sadness on their faces. I’m avoiding that but it seems necessary to separate from that too. That’s where feelings come. It’s almost that I don’t dare to see how grief-stricken they are. I identify parents there. Family. It makes it very difficult to… to stay with the light. It’s almost like the form has been left already but I linger there with great difficulty separating. My mind is casting some doubts. All of this feels still in movement towards the light. The light is not that far away. It is nearby.

It’s as though that scene, or the visual of the people watching – sad, mourning, clinging – is fading, as the light is the only thing. It is not in their awareness. Still with an edge of darkness and vanishing awareness of anything other than the light. [pause]

Jack: Does the light touch only you or does it touch the others as well…

Alfred: The others are no longer there. I’m imbedded in this sphere of light. It’s still with an awareness of something about that individuality but with no form. Still with clear awareness of where I came from and the images of the others. Clearly aware that I’m in a very different realm. I am part of what is the substance of my essence. Knowing that I’m where I need to be. Where I belong. There is no “I” any more to the I-ness. It’s the whole sphere that I’m part of. Where everything that I’ve been is a kind of knowing that somehow something will materialize again… There is a wishing to absorb as much of this light, energy, prior to perhaps another incarnation, a separation… [pause]

There is still formlessness but it seems I’m getting closer to a form that will be either picked for me or that somehow I’ll be attracted to or will be attracted to me. In the very bright light some contours are appearing – different forms, perhaps of beings. [pause]

It’s like a human form – a form which is the current form. And it’s very clear that it has its origin in the blue creature, the blue being that preceded it. But I don’t have great confidence in that. There’s a feeling of it. There’s some kind of memory that will remain of that blue being which this human form originated from, once was. Although there are some images of other beings. I don’t feel like it’s a matter of any choice but more of the quality, the physics, of what is taking place. The compatibility of vibration.

A big waterfall of light from which these forms begin to flow down.

Something about the breathing now has come into my awareness. Perhaps almost being sworn to remember something about it as a link, as a thread. As though I’m being sent with some thread of instruction into this reincarnation. Not to forget…

It feels like something is diminishing in this light – becoming more greyish, brownish. Like an envelope, while it’s still very bright within. [pause]

There is almost a certainty of the human embryo – less and less of that light. A sense of being rolled up, floating.

What’s interesting is outside as well as inside. There is a sensation and view of this embryo, or maybe fetus by now. [pause]

It still has the light as a fragment, something that is gold and embedded in the abdomen. Like a particle. Something that is more like a metal than a radiation. Or something like a mineral or a crystal. It is greatly diminished but still very clear. [pause]

There was a view, maybe imaginary, from the 1950s, houses with terraces, maybe the environment where the hospital is where I was born. Tall trees. Something very specific about the time and the place.

Jack: It’s just what’s there. Don’t worry about its validity. But there is kind of winding down now, right?

Alfred: Yes, there is and yet at the same time I’m not giving up on this thread from where I originated.

Jack: Yes, I think you need to find a way to make sure that that is not forgotten.

Alfred: The kind of golden particle. There is a most clear kind of conviction of it being almost radioactive, a golden particle somewhere in the hara. It is the last consistent part that remained from the larger, all-embracing light. It is there to be discovered, to guide.

And there was feeling towards my mother. Knowing that I would be met with great love. Great expectation and anticipation. Image of her with black hair and very youthful. She has been anticipating my arrival so desperately.

06 Sitting Egg IMG_8150

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