(Copyright © Jack Cain 2016, text and images)
Alfred: So I’m at my office on the couch.
Jack: It’s interesting how each time it’s necessary to be open without knowing anything about what will take place. I guess it’s a special kind of discipline in a way.
Alfred: It’s almost like having had some noisy visitors and then allowing the silence to take the space.
Alfred: And there’s a certain very distinct relaxation that is beginning in the forehead and the head which is not something that one does. It seems already directed or related to an expansion of the field of vision to the sides… as if the vision begins to be more encompassing.
Jack: It’s interesting your beginning there with the forehead because it doesn’t usually come first so… that’s OK – nothing wrong with that – but as you say there is something here related to vision, related to seeing. [pause]
Alfred: I’m so aware of the full contact my back is making with the couch – from the heels to the top of the head. It feels very even and supporting so that something in the body can let go of holding or driving. Like a non-anxious waiting without waiting –like something needs to concentrate. [pause]
Jack: Yes, there’s something too about allowing the time, the right amount of time – without going too quickly or too slowly. There is a pacing that somehow seems just right.
Alfred: And there is some information about kind of a movement – which I don’t entirely trust yet, as if there’s a visual of flying over a lake district – a lot of smaller bodies of water – quite beautiful – seen from above.
Jack: Yes, it’s curious that there is usually a part of you that is a little unsure at first of what is coming in. And sometimes it isn’t important – you go on to something else. It’s just interesting.
Alfred: No doubt those little stirrings in the body that normally I would attribute to adjustments but from where this is happening now it almost feels like the body is reconfiguring itself to a different form. [pause]
Jack: Does that happen in a particular part of the body?
Alfred: In the back, in the upper back. In the head. I have a very vivid memory of those large craniums – a familiar sensation as if the head and the front of the head is carrying much more weight and volume of a brain. Perhaps the relaxation in the forehead is a relaxation into a larger space, a larger skull. It’s almost logical and by deduction that the back would somehow have to… There would need to be a greater strength in the back for a larger mass of skull or cranium. But that’s a little bit my mind trying to extrapolate.
Jack: But still, in the feelings too I wonder if there’s a kind of welcoming of that expansion in the sense of what it provides in the way of intelligence or understanding or… more capacity… not as limited as in the human form.
Alfred: More possibility. [pause]
There’s a certain joy, you know.
Alfred: A relief that I will not be starting out as a whole new creature in a whole new environment – maybe there’s some thread here…
Jack: Well, there’s definitely been in the past a sense of kinship – a sense of brotherhood and relationship.
Alfred: There was a glimpse of that in that I may be belonging to that group that is not too far away from here.
I find that the conversation I’m having with you keeps me still too attached to the functions. I need to withdraw from that to let something else lead.
Jack: Yes, it’s not either I or you that are leading really. [pause]
Alfred: It’s very interesting that without panic, very calmly the body loses its ordinary boundaries. And yet in that “in-between” – there is no other form.
It is clear that it is breathing. That is more or less the only thread.
Otherwise the body is quite formless. It doesn’t have an experience of presence to it.
Clearly the breath is related to this process of forming something.
It’s so interesting that sensations coming from the body are there but without having to be reduced to the usual form of the body. [pause]
It felt like a distraction, but it may not be… As if I was watching myself through a screen or a monitor, maybe from a control room, monitoring the progress of this process, whatever it is, that I’m going through. Almost myself in a different position – more as the monitor of this process of transformation. And some awareness that there is a purpose for this… Because I’m having too much of a good time just being curious and it will probably have some purpose that I’m…
Jack: More than curiosity…
Alfred: Yes, it’s not for my own entertainment.
There were some lights flashing the way there would be in an airport or a busy place but they’re on the periphery. [pause]
Jack: It seems like those images, even if they are only fragmentary, are part of what is taking place…
Alfred: Yes, exactly.
And not with great confidence some sense that skin is gradually being provided to define or envelope this being.
Jack: So the form is actually being manifested.
Alfred: Yes, exactly. It’s so interesting that something formless that very much has being and is present is now moving into a form. I was of course tempted to say “blue skin”… It felt like it wasn’t entirely smooth – like it had bumps on it. As if I’m watching the assembly of a body from the inside. The outside. There is no inside and outside to this experience.
Jack: Yes, I think you describe it very well considering that it’s undescribable. [chuckles] It’s hard. We have to find ways to speak about these things.
Alfred: Same kind of sense that in order to perceive it, I need to allow a certain direction that requires very active attention. It can happen without it but if I was to be present to it, it requires something to become much more active than it is right now. Like there’s a finer vibration that is the intelligence that is driving this process. [pause]
The forming of a spine. [pause]
Very much the feeling of an embryo that is unfolding. [pause]
It’s like the sensations that are coming from the planetary body here are both kind of ordinary relaxations and contractions but at the same time coming from a very different body that is forming. My mind takes them as originating from the familiar body – but something else is happening as well.
The feet are very alive.
Jack: Yes, I think maybe it’s helpful to think of the consciousness that you’re using to speak with is outside both of those bodies so that’s how it’s possible to receive and speak about both sensations. You’re not completely identified with either but you’re experiencing them.
Alfred: It’s wonderful to take the time with that – not to feel hurried – because then I can have more confidence in my perception.
Some kind of a uniform is now… well, maybe not uniform but definitely very functional kind of boots and fatigues, pants, that seem to be very task-oriented. Very specific to a particular part that I’m to play in that. A suit of sorts – it has pockets and things, a kind of closures. I’m resisting my mind wishing to say “spacesuit” – I’m not at all sure about it – I’d rather not know than make assumptions.
Jack: Well, you’re seeing small details and that’s maybe all that’s needed. Like pockets – textures probably too… [pause]
Alfred: Lots of vehicles, like big trucks or… Strange looking, a lot of traffic, I would say like any army base, something like that.
Jack: Sounds busy.
Alfred: A site where there’s a lot of activity. It seems like an army base but it could be just a launching area or an airport. A lot of technical activity. [long pause]
A jumble of different fragments of… An awareness that I’m on the periphery of a bunch of us together that are… I know that there were two knives that I saw. Somehow… I don’t know if they were weapons or tools – very sharp knives – they looked like chef’s knives… not ordinary material that I’m familiar with. Also as if I was on a vehicle that… something like a shuttle that was to take me and the others from one place to another for some purpose… the way that you would transport someone to man a flight, staff it or something.
I’m getting a bit lost in the details and I think the body can provide some anchor.
Jack: Yes, you need to maintain a balance between the details of what’s happening and the overall picture. The body is helpful for that.
Alfred: Hmm. It looks like I’m entering a briefing room. There is someone who is at some kind of device again… a screen or a dome… It’s more like at a table that we are going to join. Circular. It’s like a briefing room.
Jack: So the table is circular and you’re in a briefing room.
Alfred: There are benches or chairs are in concentric circles around that. The person in the middle, above that, looks like a person of authority who is already in the process of giving out information.
I have this feeling of recognizing my love of flying which I had for many years. I never took up flying. I didn’t qualify for the air force but from very early on I was fascinated by flight. It might be related to this experience of knowing that I might be a pilot or involved in that kind of flying.
Jack: Going on missions.
Alfred: Yes, yes. It keeps coming back with excitement and anticipation of that.
Jack: OK. So the briefing is still going on?
Alfred: Seems to be.
Jack: I don’t want you miss any important instructions.
Alfred: Exactly. It feels like I need to pay close attention and I’m not entirely present to that.
Jack: Sometimes there’s that lapse that you’ve spoken of before.
Alfred: There’s a vagueness in my presence. I’m being pre-occupied. Something needs to let go. [pause]
When I let go of that, I’m in a dark space. Probably in flight already. Pitch dark. It feels like interstellar. There is no light, no stars but it feels like space. [pause]
Kind of letting go of the surface, of the details, and just tuning into this guiding beam or vibration. So it doesn’t matter what orientation my body is in – towards or away or the vehicle – the only thing that matters is the sensitivity to that super vibration. [pause]
It takes over from the fumbling and the guesswork and it’s completely precise.
Traveling across huge vast distances. Like a blur. There are lights along the way. I thought it was becoming lighter but it’s not. Every once in a while there is a kind of light that passes. A sense of homing on a certain beam. My only requirement is not to lose that direction.
Jack: Right. Very important. [pause]
Alfred: I see how memories of previous sessions interfere with the mind comparing and contrasting.
Jack: Yes, you need to let go of that. [pause]
Alfred: I’m looking at my hands. They look different but I still sense them as my hands. They are adult hands. Much larger. [pause]
A kind of an arrival it seems. Incredible sky. Blue with clouds, golden clouds, maybe the sunset. Arriving at the surface of a watery planet. The blue, baby blue, light blue sky. Great love for that planet. The beauty of it and a kind of sense of home.
Jack: And you’re with others?
Alfred: I was exactly curious about that. I’m not aware of that.
Jack: Not just yet maybe.
Alfred: There’s a kind of a structure – a large, white structure. Material that I cannot name. It might be an arrivals hall, or something like that. [pause]
Probably a setting where I would meet family or kinsmen. There’s a feeling of that. [long pause]
Jack: I don’t want to interrupt but what’s happening now?
Alfred: There were little glimpses of joining a gathering. It was not clear if it was more like a family or… There seemed to be a sense that I’ve been expected. [pause]
I’m sitting across from someone of great authority whose form is very startling. I’m not sure what it is. I’m a bit distracted by the form of the face or the being that is not familiar to me. A sense of authority. And a sense of something that needs to be shared.
I have some responsibility there, to bring something that is needed in terms of knowledge or information.
Jack: But the feeling is OK, right? You don’t feel threatened or anything?
Alfred: No, not threatened. Slight fear about the unfamiliarity of this…
Jack: Yes, but that’s just the unfamiliarity
Alfred: Yes, all that. Because my role is clear. The benevolence of that being. It’s not like I’m being threatened.
Jack: Yes, it’s just unusual.
Alfred: It’s that I have some contribution to make here.
Jack: Good. [pause]
Alfred: I see a kind of disintegration of forms and it felt like – it’s not about me but about something I’m reporting to that being. The fear was that I’m losing something, something is disappearing. It’s like I’m reporting directly from experience, from what I see. I need to be focused. I am communicating images. A scene of some type of cataclysm that I’ve witnessed and I’m communicating to that being by his directing tapping into my memory – having him access my memory so he can see it through me, through whatever is stored in my memory.
Jack: So he sees it through you.
Alfred: Exactly. And it’s for me to access that and that’s a difficulty in this case because I think I have a reaction to that. It feels like it was some kind of very troubling event that I’m reporting.
Jack: So you have to be objective…
Alfred: That’s exactly it. The channel has to be clean in order for the images or the experience to travel through.
It’s hard to make out what I’m seeing because there’s a mixture of colors and textures. I don’t want to say a big flood but some kind of a… There’s green and muddy… green water and muddy flows and huge forces that are unleashed. There is no form to it. [pause]
It’s almost like seeing that I have not survived that cataclysm. The reporting is coming from the part that survived it but not in the form that it was in when it was undergoing it. So there’s something about the terror of that situation that is interfering with the communication. The being that was in that calamity did not know that it would be communicated through something that would persist or survive.
There’s a certain kind of beginning gratitude appearing in the midst of what appears to be a technical investigation of some cataclysmic event on the planet. Actually that being I’m reporting to is directing himself or itself to having this soul make a safe passage. This soul that has not been able to… It was like aborted in the transition. So the effort is to communicate with it that it will pass even though it has absolutely no trust in this process and is terrorized. Perhaps it is not alone… maybe other beings were shocked into that state by this calamity. It becomes clear that our responsibility is to those beings that were caught and are stuck in the “in-between.”
Jack: Oh, I see – they’re stuck.
Alfred: And in order to help them with the transition I’m with that being and somehow the terror has to pass through me. But he…
Jack: Does he help you do that?
Alfred: Yes, yes. I’m instrumental to that passage. It’s through my communicating something of their state of agony, total shock, that he’s able to provide a certain light, provide a certain solace. [pause]
Alfred: My ability to perceive and be present to this state of utter terror fluctuates. But I need to know it with each one of those beings. I don’t see them there is just the sense of an abrupt termination of life which the beings are just discovering as it is taking place. Something is required there… [pause]
Something that is needed in the solar plexus is opening up.
I was facing that as a demand that I had to meet on my own. It’s like I don’t know how to receive the help that he’s offering. We’re in a realm of overwhelming fear. There’s no greater fear than that – fear of an ending. It takes everything to open up to something else. [pause]
It’s like an unlikely source of such teaching because that creature, that being is furry. To my ordinary eye it appears like a human-sized or my-sized rodent. White.
Jack: Yes, but the outer form doesn’t have much to do with what is being transmitted between you.
Alfred: No, but I’m caught in that. It feels like I’m distracted by that. So that the benevolence of that creature is… it comes in in waves so to speak.
Jack: Well, what you’re doing is hard. You need to put your attention where it does the most good… like on the benevolence.
Alfred: The fur seems to soften now and become brighter and whiter. The eyes are very distinct – ruby color almost like diamonds. Or some crystal that’s very intense or it’s like piercing but also very helpful. I think that it penetrates every cell of the body. A certain vibration, a certain knowledge.
Jack: You mean your body?
Alfred: Yes. It’s kind of a very, very practical hands-on understanding of what it means to lighten the suffering of those above me. Something has to pass through me which up to a few seconds ago was unbearable. [pause]
The light is very bright white and it feels naturally like it makes contact with this heavy dense mass of destruction. In a very natural way, it touches it and transforms it. There’s an area of contact that is kind of in between in colors and density. The point of view is not very clear whether it’s within or outside but it doesn’t matter. I’m witnessing that process. That creature’s external appearance has disappeared into just light. Actually it’s not directly related to that being but it’s like he’s an intermediary to a higher source. The source is much higher up.
From here, from this point it doesn’t appear like this agony is at all an agony but more like a lawful collection of material that has to flow back to the source in a way that is quite familiar to us from previous sessions. But carefully. Everything has to be sorted out based on some sort of intrinsic similarity.
Jack: It’s similar to previous sessions but it gives more precision about how that process takes place.
Alfred: That’s right. About the very specific way in which something has to become free to allow this to take place. A certain identification with the agony.
The forehead opens in a way that allows complete, unresisted communication through being a channel. Experiencing through the body that rapid movement of energy from the feet, from the bottom, through the body all the way to the top of the head. My only part is to allow this to go on as frictionlessly as possible. Without being curious about what passes through, just providing a channel.
There’s a certain sense of infinity when I look down. I don’t know if I see my feet just floating in space but there’s a kind of an infinity feel to what is revealed by just looking.
Something of this process seems to gradually draw to a close.
Alfred: I noticed that from a pang of hunger that the body is making itself know in that way. There’s still the experience of this overwhelming white light at the top of the head where all of this is flowing.
(Other postings in this series: Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What Is Breathing, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes)