(Copyright © Jack Cain 2018, text and images)
Jack: So, Angela, have you been able to find some place. Just tell me where you are right now.
Angela: It started off as a beach, Varadero Beach in Cuba, and now it feels like a shark came.
Angela: You know when people go deep diving and they’re in a cage, I feel like I’m in one of those cages and it’s going under water.
Jack: Maybe you can begin to see the outlines of the cage – see something more about it. Or some part of the body may respond. So just tell me a bit more.
Angela: I can feel the bars – I can feel my hands around the bars. They’re very thick. And then I can see a grey, dark, sharkey figure staring at me. I can feel that I’ve got on diving gear. I can feel the mouthpiece and the bubbles.
Jack: So you have the gear but you’re staring at some grey, dark, sharkey figure…
Angela: Right. And he’s looking right back at me.
Jack: You’re looking at each other.
Angela: And then it looks like he smiles and he clips the cage. I can see the chains and it looks like he’s got lobster claws so he’s able to cut that chain.
Jack: Oh. The chain that’s holding you?
Angela: But I don’t feel he’s an adversary… or that he’s going to eat me. I actually see and feel him cutting it and taking me somewhere else.
Jack: I see.
Angela: The cage and the shark just go into the water. He seems to be a messenger. He’s not the big boss. He’s a minion that’s been sent.
Jack: So he’s going to help you be transported then?
Angela: Right. He’s just a link in the chain.
Jack: So let’s see what happens next. Where is it you need to be transported to, or to whom…
Angela: We go a level deeper. And it’s just dark. It’s deep sea dark or the color of the dark midnight sky. And what’s being illustrated to me is… I feel like I’m still in the cage for my protection but I feel more free floating. When we first started, I could feel the constraints of the cage. But now I just feel like I’m free-floating in the cage. And the image that keeps coming up is like stars, and constellations. [5:25]
Jack: When you say dark, it’s not a scary dark is it?
Angela: No, it’s just pitch black. It’s what the bottom of the sea would look like – that level of darkness, or midnight sky but it doesn’t feel sinister.
Jack: Right, that’s what I meant.
Angela: It’s just dark.
Jack: It’s really where you need to be at this moment – in that night sky with stars, constellations. So let’s just see what comes now from that environment that you’ve moved into. It’s a different level as you’ve said. So something different can come now. Let’s just see what it is.
Angela: Well, now I feel like tentacles – I’m being wrapped up by an octopus or a squid. I can feel it on the back of my neck, on my shoulders – I can feel myself struggling. And then I see a mouth with teeth. [making a gnarling sound] The feeling of being sucked in. I don’t know if I want to be sucked into it or if I want to fight this thing.
And what presents to me is a sword, a white sword and it’s glowing – to cut off the tentacles. And then what remains is just – just imagine a squid head or an octopus’ head with these teeth – no tentacles now. I keep getting that image of these sharp teeth and the head is very round. The teeth are sharp and pointy and they’re lodged in a critter’s body that is very circular.
Jack: So the body that’s left is circular. OK.
Angela: It looks like – if you’ve ever seen a hook worm or a tape worm under a microscope – that’s what the jaws look like.
Jack: OK. But you still have this sword?
Angela: Yeah, because what happened or what I just heard was like “growing back, growing back.” They keep growing back until you destroy the head and then I saw myself pick up the sword and pierce the head.
Jack: OK. Good.
Angela: Now it’s on the tip of the sword. And then I felt like a sensation in my throat like I was swallowing, like I was swallowing it and when I swallow it the tentacles start to grow out of me.
The image that I keep getting is like this regeneration and it’s like this repetitive cycle. I go through this cycle: I cut the squid, I get rid of the tentacles and here’s the thing and then I go back and eat it. And then I just become it again and again. My subconscious is showing me that image over and over and over again.
Jack: The scene keeps being repeated?
Angela: Right. Or something bigger comes along and eats me and I’m right back where I was.
Now the word that comes is “antidote” and it looks like this vial. It’s luminescent white and pearly colored with rainbow pieces to it. It looks like the eye of a unicorn or the eye of a dragon but not in a menacing way.
Jack: OK. Great.
Angela: There’s the image of drinking the vial. The vial is filled with a dark purple, bluish liquid with little flecks of spark on it. And when I drink it I can feel energy coming back into my body and I get images of strength.
Angela: And then I see myself almost like a Hercules, like a man resting by a tree. Then there’s this literally like a Pegasus that is flying around and helping me. It’s weird – it’s like Walt Disney’s Hercules.
Jack: So you’re getting help as well as being very strong.
Angela: Yeah. And the image really is just rest. Laying it to rest. Rest, rest, rest. Rest easy. [pause]
It morphs. Now the theme morphs to… First it looks like a cobra and then it looks like an eagle and next it looks like an eagle with a cobra in its mouth. That did make me feel like whoa now we’re at the big boss. I’m starting to feel uneasy. Because the image looked so menacing – this big black snake, this cobra-like character.
Jack: But there’s an eagle too.
Angela: What I saw was a snake and then the eagle grabbing it in its talons, putting it in its mouth and just flying off with it.
Jack: OK. But the cobra was menacing you said.
Angela: Yeah, yeah. It was scary.
Jack: But the eagle has dealt with it. The bird that sees the farthest.
Angela: But the cobra was very much in my face: “What are you going to do now girl.”
Jack: But the eagle came right away for you?
Angela: Yeah. It morphed from cobra to eagle and I can see the eagle grasp the cobra by like its mid-section and then get it with its talons and its beak. And I can see it carry it and just drop it in the middle of… like literally in the middle of the ocean or… It looks like a field of oceans but just deep, dark water.
Jack: Where it belongs maybe. Because it’s dark too.
Angela: I can feel the limpness of the cobra. I can feel that it’s been injured. So now I see it in the water. I’m watching it but I can also feel it, what’s happening to it. So I’m in the water as well. And I can feel the water rising – you know when you’re swimming and the water is up to your eyes. [17:00]
Jack: So you’re in the same water?
Angela: Yes. [pause]
And then I feel surrounded. I feel surrounded by wolves, like a wolf. He’s circling me and I’m… like we’re circling each other.
Jack: Just one wolf?
Angela: Yeah, yeah. It feels like one even though it also feels like he’s one that has… he feels like he’s many but it is just one when I look around. But he’s so intimidating it feels like there are many. You know how someone just has presence. He’s just got presence.
Jack: Presence. Yeah, OK. Wow.
Angela: Then he morphs into like an older – a really old man. Almost indigenous looking or Chinese or Siberian with a bald head. And it was just a costume that he was wearing.
Jack: Oh, I see.
Angela: And we’re sitting and he’s sharing food with me. [pause]
I’m terrified he’s going to try to poison me.
Jack: [surprised] Oh!
Angela: I keep hearing or seeing “No, it’s medicine” and at first it makes me sick and I can see myself kind of laying on the ground convulsing but the word that comes up is that it’s like that “detox” medicine where you get really sick and then…
Jack: So, it’s a purge.
Angela: Yeah, yeah. Just stuff is coming up. Like I’m vomiting houses and children. I vomit skeletons and bones and bird heads and [sigh] femurs and wings.
Angela: And I’m still very masculine. I feel like a man in this one. [pause]
Then the image that comes to me is from the Tarot… all of this stuff that I’ve vomited turns into a Tower. So that Tower card from Tarot comes. [Meaning: sudden unforeseen change.] [pause] [big sigh]
And then I just hear, “Nice landing.” [both laughing] Because now I’m on the soft grass. [pause]
Jack: Yeah, maybe you need to rest in the soft grass after all that…
Angela: And there are literally fairies and entities clapping. And caterpillars and bumblebees and… “Yay – you did it!”
Jack: Great. So you’re being applauded – how wonderful.
Angela: And then there’s the spirit of a tree. Very grandmother-esque that is just kind of taking me up and nurturing me. And lots of images around nourishment – like soup and food… like I’m held in these trees with this particular tree being… the word that comes up is “being nursed back to health.”
Jack: Good… nursed back to health, yeah. There’s a real substance you can feel that comes into you from the trees.
Angela: Right. I could hear myself saying, “Why? Why all this…? Why all this pain and drama?” And all I’m hearing back is, “Why not?” [laughter]
Jack: Well, it seems like it was necessary, right?
Angela: Yeah, yeah. And then it just turns into flowers – flowers sprouting in this beautiful rich garden. And then I can see the eagle again but this time it’s all white and then I can see the cobra and this time it’s all white too and it’s just laying… it’s wrapped up on my stomach. But the energy this time as it stares me down is a different kind of power… It’s intimidating but it’s like that intimidation that you get when you’re with a being that’s just really grounded and enlightened. Not that kind of shaking the first time that the cobra appeared. First you’re just nasty and evil and now it’s like you know you’ve been transformed. [pause]
Jack: Beautiful, yes. Transformed yes. Absolutely transformed. Good. Good. [pause]
Angela: Now I only see images of pyramids and triangles. [pause] And the word like “base” and “stability.”
Jack: Yes the pyramid is the most stable structure.
Angela: And then there’s a unzipping of that image and I’m being invited to go into the pyramid, to crawl into it. And it feels like a tunnel and as I go through the tunnel I finally get to this inner chamber.
Angela: And there’s like a… It just keeps saying like… there’s like a crow or a raven or something in there… It’s like “It’s time to resurrect what died inside of you.”
Jack: I see.
Angela: There’s this whole coffin, there’s this whole inner chamber and literally I can see myself wandering around and putting jewels on the mummy or on the… It’s weird – every time I put a jewel on it, the flesh comes back and then I put the crown on and I literally see like a Nefertiti, Cleopatra come to life. And I can feel her forehead against my forehead – so there’s some kind of download taking place and I see an image of an eye, like an eye of Horus. [pause]
And I can feel her dressing me with poultices so like… physically I don’t look different but internally… yeah like I’m literally hearing, “This is your time to internally purge.” I can see her, I can see her working on my insides scrapping away film and muck and mold. And I hear, “Polishing your inside, this is polishing the inside. It’s time to polish the inside.” And I can see her stuffing my body with jewels and treasure. And I hear her say, “Discover the treasures within.”
But I feel myself asking her, “Yeah, but look at where I’m at. I’m terrified. I’m terrified” [laughter] And I can see her illuminating this protective shield around me.
Jack: Oh, good. [pause]
Angela: And I can see her – I’m like in a bubble and she’s moved me to the next level. There are about three or four more levels that I have to complete but I can see myself – it feels like I’m on track to complete the levels to get to the tip of the pyramid. Which I’m like, “Well, what is that?”
And I hear her saying, “You define that.”
Jack: I see.
Angela: You define your kind of goal. And I hear her say, “I’ll help you. I’ll help you define it and I’ll help you get there but you define it.” [chuckle] It’s like you’ve beat man’s game, now it’s time for you to create and play your own game – for you and by you.
You’ve reached what man defines as successful. Now you have to define your own stars, your own course. I can literally hear her say, “You look to the heavens to tell you what your course should be but that’s not how it works. You actually, in this life, get to define what your course will be. It’s not a pre-programmed thing.”
It’s so scary to even say it because I feel like I’m crossing some kind of threshold. Like I want the universe to assign me a role and say “You’re going to be a postwoman – like doing post office delivery. But she’s shaking her head and saying, “At this level you get to define it.”
Jack: OK. Good. What’s the definition?
Angela: Yeah. Yeah. I see myself writing. I can see myself literally scribing. [chuckling] I can feel a nice ocean breeze from Hawaii on my back. [pause]
Now I’m literally in a cabana if you will and all I hear is the ocean waves and I can sense and feel the lushness of the trees and of the tropics and I’m just writing.
Jack: Writing. OK. [pause]
Angela: And there’s like a star, there’s a star on the paper and then that symbol of – I think in the Wiccan tradition – maiden/crone two moons and a star in the middle. First is the maiden and a crone in the middle is the symbol I’m being given. [pause]
And I can see it on my hand – my hand suddenly displays that symbol – different patterns of it. [pause]
And then I can see myself cutting these golden handcuffs.
Jack: I see. Golden handcuffs!
Angela: Wow. Yeah, yeah it’s weird. Because with the handcuffs I’m able to write but once I cut them all of this gold liquid… this gold, sparkly, shimmery liquid just pours out all over the scene. And there’s just so much flow and enthusiasm and joy.
Jack: OK. Enthusiasm, joy.
Angela: It’s just oozing and squirting everywhere. Just oozing honey.
And then I hear, “Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid.” Move through the fear. Move with the fear but don’t let the fear stop you.
Jack: Good. Good advice. Yes, you have to keep moving. [pause]
Angela: And then I’m being given a gift from the eagle of like this pearl. But it’s clear. It looks like a pearl when you look at it but when you actually look into it the word “vision” pops up. Like focus on your vision.
Jack: Vision. Yes, you need to focus on the vision. Because look how it has served you in this session alone. [pause]
Angela: And then I can feel hands either holding mine or supporting my lower back. And supporting me when I say “No” because that’s the other thing that’s coming – “Say no. Just say no.”
Jack: Right. Yes. That support is very important. So feel those hands very clearly because they can come back and help you when you need.
Angela: Yeah, it’s interesting because I got this image of some of that fear that I feel around going up to where I work. I got this image of well, what if they shoot up the place and I just got this image of me putting that fear into a box and closing it and saying no. It’s OK to close that door.
Jack: Yes, OK to close that door. I think that’s very important. And the idea of putting the fear in the box. That’s so practical.
Angela: Yeah and there’s just so much white and so much light when I can do that. Like I’m in this room and there are tons of doors, there are tons of options. And I’m just a little eyeball. All I see is my eyeball and I can open the door or I can shut it, I can open the door or I can shut, I can open it or shut it.
Angela: So it’s really directing my vision where I want it to go. Because there are some doors that I’m leaving open. And that’s where my gaze and my attention will go. It’s literally directing the energy. Directing my gaze to where I want to focus my energy is the message that’s coming through loud and clear.
Jack: Good. Good. [pause]
Angela: And I’m hearing, “Where is my gaze?” When I get stuck that’s the question to ask myself – like “Where is my gaze?” And I can literally use that as a technique.
Angela: To put it in the box. Close it up. Blow it up with a rose and open up the door that I do want to open up.
[pause] And then I see all these roses. When I want to bring something in – put down roses to bring it in. I’m hearing, “Use your energy in a different way.”
Jack: That’s great: Use your energy in a different way.
Angela: And I’m seeing more swords, swords and machetes, because the inner question that I’m asking is “What about if I’m too tired? What about if I…?” Like I’m hearing and I’m seeing like to use my sword to cut off – because it’s taking me back to that octopus like when those tentacles are around me use the sword to cut them off. To cut off that energy and then open the door again to what I want to see, for what I want to bring in.
[chuckle] And then I’m seeing and hearing, “This is advanced. We know this is advanced.” Because I can feel myself complaining like, “Why? Why can’t it just be easy.”
Jack: No, you have to make the effort to use the tools you’re being given. It’s up to you. But look at the tools – amazing.
Angela: Yeah, I mean really.
Jack: And look at the cleanup job that was done. A huge cleanup.
Angela: Yeah all that stuff we started with at the beginning. My God! To where we are now where it’s like “Choose whatever route you want.”
Jack: Yeah, and it couldn’t have been done without the cleanup job and without the tools.
Angela: The image that I get is like a book and the words “The End.” But it’s showing the start to the end, like this is the story. Or like this is the arch, this is the narrative. It wouldn’t be a story without those pieces.
Jack: No, they’re needed. Absolutely.
Wonderful. Wonderful. Amazing. [pause]
So maybe we should ask if there’s just some last thing that’s needed that we’ve forgotten about or haven’t asked about.
Angela: The last piece that comes through is just this image of a baby being born.
Angela: I’ve been dreaming about that for a long time. A few weeks ago I had twins in my dream and then the other night I was giving birth to another baby so I think I’m just giving birth to a different part of me. Give birth. This is the process of giving birth.
Jack: That’s right. Yes, it’s like a whole new being.
Angela: Yes. Yes.
[Ending procedure to exit the altered state of consciousness]
Other posts in this series: Ritual is Just a Doorway, Cempazúchitl (Marigolds), Toe Holds and Alligators, Tentacles, Swords and the Light.