(Copyright © Jack Cain 2016, text and images)
Jack: I am beginning to feel a very active connection with the breathing.
Jack: Very helpful to help me relax out of my busy-ness.
Alfred: Especially that part that is anxiously watching whether something is happening. It can be put on hold and asked not to interfere.
Jack: Yes. [pause]
Alfred: It seems like the perception is deepening in whatever energies are circulating. [pause]
Something is concentrating in the capacity to just witness. [pause]
And it’s like the perceptions of sensation, of sounds, seem to be a smaller fraction of a much larger perceptual field which has not made its details known yet. [pause]
Jack: Yes, it really does seem like a shift of perceptive equipment as if new equipment is required.
Alfred: It’s like capacities that are there are becoming more accessible and there are flickers of images of rooms, of hallways with a lot of activity.
It’s a part of our recent conversation – trying to trust that whatever needs to be discovered or experienced will be find its way to be accessed rather than me reaching for it. There’s a new patience for it to reach me rather than me straining. So those images are flickering… There are underground passages, although there’s light, some activity… perhaps it’s a kind of a battle – a lot of pressured, harried activity. People rushing back and forth.
There was a glimpse of a blue cape, someone tall wearing a blue cape –– with gold fringes around it. Very majestic. Deep blue. Might be the person of authority there. [longer pause]
My mind – or something – was naturally trying to discover the audio for this visual. It seems to be the sound of battle – swords clashing – explosions – very loud noises.
I have the face of that person as a kind of – it’s not a living face, it’s a kind of a picture – but I had only a glimpse. It’s like one of those Dutch nobles in a Rembrandt’s painting. Classic master. With a goatee. Tall, black hair, very handsome. Carrying an authority that seems to be emanating from within. [longer pause]
Very subtle drift of the mind toward speculations which is OK… I just need to allow the attention to settle back and to concentrate, to let go of associations. [pause]
It’s very clear that the restriction of what’s perceived is not in what’s offered but in the perception, in the sensitivity. [longer pause]
So I limit myself to what’s perceived, which is a kind of a rooftop within a castle. It’s at the top of a mountain, very high, the highest point of that mountain range. It seems to be at the height of that battle – although the auditory and visual are not coming in because the image was silent. So maybe the sound is just speculation.
Actually I see beautiful valleys with rolling hills and fields at a distance, way down. The air feels very pleasant. It feels like a perfect day in terms of how the sun brings out all the colors of the wheat in the fields…
Jack: It seems like just engaging the perception with what is being perceived is what helps to keep it open and perceiving.
Alfred: Yes. [pause]
It’s a fine balancing of letting the perception lead rather than leading it.
With that it’s possible for the imagery and scenery to stabilize a little more.
Alfred: It seems like it’s that tower at the high point of Montségur – the way I have experienced that particular area.
And it seems like a time of great peace has taken over from that initial scene of turmoil. It’s almost like being back at a time when that place was at peace because I’m on the top of that tower and I’m taking in all of the surroundings and there’s no sense of threat or imminent doom as there was at the very beginning.
I’m resisting the curiosity to know more about it and am just letting myself be led by what’s going on.
Jack: Yes, just be led by whatever image or perception you’re attracted to.
Alfred: Yes. [pause]
There are stairs, quite elaborate, from the tower or from the roof of that tower to what might be a refectory or dining room. The details of the path are not as clear as is my now sitting there. It seems like there is a kind of head table with others around.
I’m not clear yet about the people that occupy that space.
But it’s very clear that I’m breaking bread. I almost feel the freshness of the bread that is hot and just baked. I think it’s part of a ritual of starting the meal by breaking bread. There’s a bowl with what seems to be coarse salt. I think the bread is broken and distributed. I have part of it in my hand and I put salt on it. It’s part of a benediction.
As I’m looking across, light is coming in through stained-glass windows. Ruby red and cobalt blue. [pause]
Alfred: The colors blend with the bread. I can see that. [pause]
I seem to raise the bread – in my right hand I think. Slowly. Then, I get a glimpse of the hall, a very large room, filled with people, who similarly raise their right hand with the bread.
Feelings come. There’s a kind of light that turns to white. Like a glimpse of the Christ. Very light. [big breath] Lots of feelings. We are all part of it, part of Christ. Inseparable.
A gesture with the hand outlining a cross. It is a permission for all of us to consume the bread. [big breath] [very long pause]
There’s a sense now of things taking their regular appearance in that gathering. We’re having a meal together – people speak and chat.
There’s a very strong awareness of what has just taken place with the benediction as well as the fate of this place that I may be more acutely aware of than the people gathered.
Jack: Yes. Probably.
Alfred: And it seems there is no contradiction in that. But there is sadness. Also the absolute necessity that whatever is taking place will continue to take place. [pause]
But… it’s not entirely correct. It seems that that moment of light has left its mark… a kind of urgency.
Jack: You’re describing what you’re feeling inside, right Alfred?
Alfred: Yes. But it’s not only feeling – it’s a kind of a very necessary urgency and action in the light of the impending ending of the existence of this place.
There’s a need to act to preserve, to protect something very precious that that brotherhood and this order has accumulated.
I’m waiting for guidance. [pause]
I’m in a smaller room. It feels very intimate and closed. Maybe a basement or crypt or a vault. I’m with a group of elders. [pause]
It’s so clear that something needs to be purified in the attention for this connection to be received. [pause]
Alfred: It’s hard to stay in touch with that. The last thing is that no one seems to be surprised by whatever needs to take place. It seems like a plan or something that was in place all along now just needs to be mobilized, activated.
There was an image, interestingly, an image of a very peculiar looking mountain – as my attention was a little more fragmented – but there was an image of a mountain that looks pointy with a spiral type of road leading towards the height – not very high – growing out of the… no it’s not true… not growing out of the ocean. Of course, something in me said Mont St-Michel – as a kind of a potential destination of whatever needs to be transferred, or rescued, or smuggled to protect whatever it is that the current situation will endanger. I think my colleagues there understand and are prepared for that. They probably will make their departure right away… or soon because there’s no time to lose.
Jack: So that’s related to the sense of urgency you felt throughout.
Alfred: Yes. [pause]
It seems like there’s a part of me that wishes to check in, to reconnect with that higher force. Perhaps to fortify that resolve. I think that the understanding in the gathering with the elders is that I will be there to protect the others and to take the last stand or something like that. [pause]
Jack: And this will allow them to rescue what needs to be rescued it seems…
There’s a struggle going on between this certainty of the destruction of everybody and the place itself and the sense of completing something sacred. Serving something sacred. [pause]
There is a farewell it seems by a gate or secret door or passageway. I think there are three elders. Capes. Maybe dressed as peasants. Something very simple. Each one of them holds me. Or perhaps it’s all of them – it’s the four of us – the three of them and me – holding each other in a circle. [pause]
Inseparable. My fate is not different from anybody else’s. [pause]
Although the mind insists otherwise. [pause]
We all experience that. It’s a shared vibration. [pause]
No doubt. [pause]
It seems like I’m on my knees. Praying.
Jack: Because they’ve left now, right?
Alfred: Yes. I’ve seen them through their departure.
I’m praying for wisdom, for guidance, to help my brothers here to make their passing. [pause]
I seem too agitated ever to receive anything but to know this agitation.
Jack: Yes. I think a part of you knows that that agitation can quieten
Jack: And you can move towards a receptive state.
Alfred: I need to allow the turmoil to be just as it is. [pause]
The body seems to offer a direction. Awareness of how little time is left in this body. Allow something to settle. [pause]
A certain stillness. [pause]
The absolute necessity not to succumb to fragmentation. It’s very clear. So I make my way up. To face whatever comes next.
Alfred: It feels like a completion of this process.
Alfred: It’s almost like daybreak. The dawn beginning. The sun. The light coming over the horizon. And I’m clear about what internally I need to be true to. [pause]
I’m back in my room.
Bodies, Bluish, The Cosmic Cleanup Team, The Joy of Taking My Place, Rescue & Ascension, A Continuity of Being, Creation, Rescue, The Empty Seat at the Table, Toxic Green, Pristine Stillness, What is Breathing?, Merging with the Light, The Alchemy of Transmuting Blue to White, Ascension, Montségur, Flood, Connecting Upward, The Thread, Ruby Eyes, Monségur 2